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Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity

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Overview

Sex. Splashed across magazine covers, billboards, and computer screens—sex is thrilling, necessary, unavoidable. And everybody's doing it, right?

In Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity, Lauren Winner speaks candidly to single Christians about the difficulty—and the importance—of sexual chastity. With nuance and wit, she talks about her own sexual journey. Never dodging tough terms like "confession" and "sin," she grounds her discussion of chastity first and foremost in ...

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Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity

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Overview

Sex. Splashed across magazine covers, billboards, and computer screens—sex is thrilling, necessary, unavoidable. And everybody's doing it, right?

In Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity, Lauren Winner speaks candidly to single Christians about the difficulty—and the importance—of sexual chastity. With nuance and wit, she talks about her own sexual journey. Never dodging tough terms like "confession" and "sin," she grounds her discussion of chastity first and foremost in scripture. She confronts cultural lies about sex and challenges how we talk about sex in church (newsflash: however wrong it is, premarital sex can feel liberating and enjoyable!). Building on the thought of Wendell Berry, she argues that sex is communal rather than private, personal rather than public.

Refusing to slink away from thorny topics, Winner deftly addresses pornography, masturbation, and the perennial question of "how far is too far?" Winner also digs deeper: What does chastity have to do with loving my neighbor? How does my sexual behavior form habits and expectations? With compassion and grit, she calls Christians, both married and single, to pursue chastity as conversion and amendment of life.

Real Sex will be an essential read for single Christians grappling with chastity, for married Christians committed to monogamy, and for those who counsel them.

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Winner, author of the critically acclaimed memoir Girl Meets God, weaves an intriguing tapestry from sociological, autobiographical, pastoral and historical threads. She balances a journalistic report of how difficult chastity is for American Christians; a personal account of how she and her friends have approached premarital and marital sex; a survey of what the Bible, pastors and good Christian books say about the topic; and an overview of how chastity has been understood throughout Christian history. The candor with which Winner writes about sex may alarm some Christian readers, but those who follow her arguments to their conclusions will find themselves rewarded with fresh insights about an overdiscussed but still deeply entrenched problem among Christians. Interestingly, some of Winner's best insights are about married sex. She states early on that "in Christianity's vocabulary the only real sex is the sex that happens in marriage; the faux sex that goes on outside marriage is not really sex at all... [it] is only a distorted image of sex, as Walt Disney's Wilderness Lodge Resort is only a simulation of real wilderness." Winner places real sex not in the passionate world of one-night stands and dating relationships, but in the ordinary, domestic life of married couples. As such, she helpfully and perhaps even radically reframes both the Christian and cultural discussion of chastity and sexuality. (Apr.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781587430695
  • Publisher: Brazos Press
  • Publication date: 4/28/2005
  • Pages: 176
  • Product dimensions: 5.84 (w) x 8.86 (h) x 0.77 (d)

Meet the Author

Lauren F. Winner (PhD, Columbia University) is the highly acclaimed author of the memoir Girl Meets God. She is assistant professor of Christian spirituality at Duke Divinity School in Durham, North Carolina, and has written for the New York Times Book Review, the Washington Post Book World, Publishers Weekly, Christianity Today, and Christian Century. Visit her website at www.laurenwinner.net.
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    1. Hometown:
      Charlottesville, Virginia
    1. Date of Birth:
      October 13, 1976
    2. Place of Birth:
      Asheville, North Carolina
    1. Education:
      B.A., Columbia University, 1997; M.A., Cambridge University, 1999

Table of Contents

1 Unchaste confessions : or, why we need another book about sex 9
2 Real sex : creation, scripture, and the case for sex in marriage 29
3 Communal sex : or, why your neighbour has any business asking you what you did last night 43
4 Straight talk I : lies our culture tells about sex 61
5 Straight talk II : lies the church tells about sex 85
6 On the steps of the rotunda : line-drawing and formation 103
7 Chastity as spiritual discipline : conforming your body to the arc of the gospel 123
8 Communities of chastity : what singleness teaches the church 133
9 Responding to M. : the practicalities of repentance 149
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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 13 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(11)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(1)

2 Star

(1)

1 Star

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Sort by: Showing 1 – 12 of 13 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 28, 2006

    Not Just For Singles

    I had to read this book for a marriage class I am taking at university. I am already married and was skeptical about a book with 'chastity' in the title: what could such a book offer me except regret over what I might have done before my own marriage? Surprisingly, a lot. Winner's arguments are thorough. She spends a lot of time discussing not why premarital sex is bad but why marital sex is good, and that perspective shift is significant. Her holistic approach to the topic is refreshing and much needed. I would recommend this book not just for single Christians struggling with chastity, but for married to people to learn about what sex is really about and why it matters. Her discussions particularly about the communal aspect of sex are appropriate and helpful. I say this because when people get married, it's not as though the sexual struggles they had previously just disappear - married people still struggle with sex, too. This book is a good resource, and as this is probably important to some readers: Winner's style and narrative are wonderful. She is engaging and obviously intelligent, but down-to-earth rather than high-brow.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 5, 2005

    Adjust Your Worldview!

    This appears to be a book solely about chastity, but at its core, it's really about the Godly ordering of creation. It's instructive for singles, married couples, and the entire body of Christ. Some bold assertions Winner makes: what happens in peoples' bedrooms is a community issue in that our sex lives form us as much as education does; in baptism, Christians become the body of Christ and the Body of Christ must give us permission to join His body to another body in sex; sexual sin is not in a category alone--it can be removed from us as far as the east is from the west just as God promises about all confessed sin; willpower does not allow us to be chasted, only God's grace does. This book is real, it is fresh, it is instructive, and it is entertaining.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 1, 2012

    Refreshingly honest and eye-opening

    I would recommend this book to both newly converted and lifelong Christians, whether married or single. The writing is clear and candid and solidly Biblical. It challenges the accepted cultural attitudes about sex and relationships without being preachy or condescending, but makes it clear that the world's way is not God's way.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 20, 2014

    To steven

    Govto rs 6

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 10, 2014

    To ME TOO

    Whats up? Reply to claire

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2014

    To all

    Im leaving

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 7, 2014

    Claire

    Walks in

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 7, 2014

    Steven to all girls

    Give me a book and put your bio there.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 25, 2013

    Lily

    She walks in wearing her favorite low cut shirt that's sooooo see through. U can totally c her sexy d-cup push up bra with her bo.obs popping out. She's wearing super short shorts and u can tell that she's not wearing any panties at all

    0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 24, 2013

    Kyle

    I will pick the girls with the hugest boo.bs

    0 out of 4 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 31, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 2, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

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