Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (Real Vampires Series #5)

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Overview

Glory St. Clair loves soaking up Hollywood's vampire nightlife with her sexy Scottish lover, Jeremiah. Especially when she meets a vampire/ diet guru who promises to give her the body she's wanted for centuries. One problem: his clan and Jeremiah's are ancient enemies. But Glory's not about to let a stupid family feud come between her and slender bliss. Yet, she can't help but wonder...how much is she willing to risk for her hips? And how much (and precisely what) is she willing to lose?

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780425232231
  • Publisher: Penguin Group (USA)
  • Publication date: 2/2/2010
  • Pages: 352
  • Sales rank: 176,760
  • Series: Real Vampires Series , #5
  • Product dimensions: 5.10 (w) x 7.90 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

Gerry Bartlett figures that vampires are pretty much like everyone else except for the liquid diet. Eternity or Mexican Food? Tough call. Then there's the whole problem with sunlight. When would she treasure hunt for her own antique business on the historic Strand of Galveston? Gerry's a native Texan and lives halfway between Houston and Galveston. Gerry loves hearing from her readers on her website.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 40 )

Rating Distribution

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(30)

4 Star

(8)

3 Star

(1)

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(1)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 41 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 25, 2012

    Best so far

    If you love Glory and are curious about who she will choose Ray (this reviewer personal fave), Jerry, or her desires for a size six body. Then please read this book. Gerry entertains like no other in this book. Its a "glory"-fied treat!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted September 25, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Another great addition to the series!!

    Book five has Glory in Hollywood getting ready to go to the Grammy's with Ray. Glory finds a diet plan for vampires and has weird side affects to the supplements all the while dealing with Ray and Blade. I loved this book was was a little sad that nothing more happend between Ray & Glory, i really like Ray's character but boy am i torn now that i've read the first chapter for book 6. Valdez is now off guard duty and living with Glory and has made it clear that he'll be in Glory's bed eventually! Valdez has been sitting on the sidelines while Glory lived her life so who knows her better than the bodyguard she'd lived with for 5 years? I'm sooo excited to read book 6!! I really hope she either ends up with Valdez or Ray, NOT BLADE! he annoys me lol.
    This series is excellent and i'm sad i have to wait til December to read more.

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  • Posted May 17, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Hilarious Vamp Series

    I absolutely love this series and there are a lot of vampire related series out there. This one is unique and funny. I take these books with me on vacation for a light and enjoyable read. I have even recommended this series to my best friend and pretty much anyone who I think would be interested. I was reading this book on the metro and I had someone ask what it was about based on the cover. I really like that the author has a sense of humour and doesn't take vampire lit and make it all dark and sinister.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted April 11, 2010

    Love This Series

    Another great book from Gerry Bartlett.

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  • Posted March 30, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    Excellent Once Again

    I have read all of Gerry Bartlett's Real Vampire books and I must say that I certainly was not disappointed with the newest book. I wish she could write faster. The characters become real to me and I can't wait until the next book to find out what they get into next! I wanted to read it slow so I could drag it out but, as usual, I ate it up! Now I'll have to wait again until the next one comes out! Please keep writing Gerry. Glory and the gang have become part of my friends circle!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 28, 2010

    Favorite Glory story so far!!!!

    This has been my favorite Glory St. Claire story so far. Glory comes to her own rescue and makes a decision that is best for her!! LOVE IT!! Can not wait for the next book!!!!!! Gerr Bartlett is a comical guru!!!! This book is for blueberries everywhere!!!!

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  • Posted February 21, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    GLORY ST. CLAIR IS A HOOT!

    I like Glorianna St. Clair. She is a woman after my own heart. Who doesn't think they don't want lose weight. And Glory's had several hundred years to think about it! And I like how she comes up into events that cause a bit of a stir! And let's face it, wouldn't it be fun, if only for a little while to have a very sexy rock and roller musician in your corner along with a very dedicated boyfriend too? Vampirism...not withstanding! It's a great read and apart of my permanent collection.

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  • Posted February 20, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Fun, laugh out loud weekend read!

    Gerry as always never disapoints. Great characters! You will not put this book down until its finishedand then you will be bagging for the next! Great read!

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  • Posted February 15, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    Size Six and Loving It!

    Yes, Glory has finally found a way to lose weight! Like everything else, it doesn't come without a little pain. However, to lose 13 pounds in three days I would definitely suffer a little. My only disappointment was that Glory didn't have a little taste of Cane. I'm pretty sure she already knew that it was time to take a break from Mr. Possessive! But contrary to that thought, I love the addition of human Valdez. He sounds just yummy! And it sounds like he really cares for her in a protective lover kind of a way. Looking forward to the next addition, can't wait for it to come out!

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  • Posted February 12, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Dieting Takes on a Whole New Dimension with Vampires

    Glory St. Clair is a centuries old vampire who is stuck in her voluptuous body that was popular in the 17th century. Even though her maker and on/off again lover Jeremy Blade adores her as she is, Glory wants to be a modern, thin vampire. She's got even more motivation because she's soon to attend the grammys with her pretend fiancé, Rock Star and secret vampire, Ray Caine. When she meets a vampire offering a new cure that will make her slim, Glory is determined to get it, regardless of the cost. But it's not only cash and side-effects that are at stake. This fifth installment of the Real Vampires series is laugh out loud funny and sometimes poignant as Glory yearns for the chance to be Hollywood's skinny idea of beauty.

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  • Posted February 3, 2010

    couldn't put it down!!

    If you have read the rest of the series this book does not disappoint!! Glory is up to her usual tricks men falling all over her and steamy hook ups!! I love this series and am sad that I have to wait until the end of the year to get more!!! I highly recommend this series to anyone who loves romance and vampires!

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  • Posted February 2, 2010

    I Also Recommend:

    What would you be willing to sacrifice to loose weight? Chocolate? Sugar? Carbs? Your lover? Your life?

    For vampire Glory St. Clare weight loss has never been an option, since vampires go through all eternity with the exact same body they had on the day they were changed. Work-out, starve yourself, get a tattoo, a piercing - doesn't matter - one night of healing sleep and you're back to the exact body you started with.

    Four hundred years ago, when her on-again/off-again boyfriend Jeremiah (Blade) Campbell III turned her vampire, Glory's voluptuous body was ideal for that time - fast forward to the 21st century and now she's slightly cubby. And that's bad enough when you are running a vintage dress shop in Austin, Texas, but in Hollywood Glory can't help but feel self-conscious of her size twelve body in a size zero world.

    Newly turned vampire, rock star Israel Caine (Ray to his friends), was literally dumped on Glory's doorstep and she became his mentor, teaching him how to survive his new 'life'. Soon the tabloids link Ray and Glory together and to defuse the gossip they pretend to be engaged. Ray has been nominated for a Grammy award and Glory accompanies him to Hollywood to walk the red carpet at his side. Of course, the tabloids are having a field day making fun of Ray's fat fiancée.

    Enjoying the active Hollywood nightlife, Glory learns of a new weight loss drug for vampires. In spite of the astronomical expense, she starts taking the drug. The very first night, Glory wakes before sunset and, if not for the intervention of her body guard, she would have fried in the sun's rays. Unfortunately, there are even more potentially fatal side effects.

    Blade insists Glory stop taking the drug because its inventor is a MacDonald and the MacDonalds and Campbells have been feuding for centuries. Blade is certain Glory is being used as a tool in the MacDonald/Campbell feud.

    But, the pounds are coming off and the Grammy's are just a few days away.

    Will Ray win the Grammy? Will the feud between the Campbells and MacDonalds finally erupt in the war to end all wars? Will Glory live long enough to find out?

    If you are new to the REAL VAMPIRE series, witty dialogue, fascinating adventures and a captivating cast of characters are just a few of the reasons all five books are must reads! Each stands alone, but read one and you'll be hooked.

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  • Posted January 5, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Fans of the series will enjoy this pleasant read

    In Hollywood Glory St. Clair loves the nightlife especially hitting the bloody in spots with boyfriend, Jeremy Blade aka Jeremiah Campbell. When she meets Ian MacDonald, he swears he can help her meet her forever fantasy goal of losing weight. Being a vampire she assumes she cannot change her body type, but his diet works.

    However, Jeremiah's clan has been blood feuding with the MacDonald brood for eternity. Glory has side affects from her diet like suffering nightmares that are even more shocking as she has not had a dream in four centuries. She protects Ian from Jeremiah and his kin as the loss of weight makes him her hero. Besides he is also working on another drug solution to enable vampires to remain awake in daytime.

    Still obsessed over her waistline, Glory rejects the notion that Real Vampires Don't Diet when she accepts help from a MacDonald, which angers her boyfriend's clan as the feud has been on going for centuries. Lighthearted with an underlying message to diet healthily, fans of the series will enjoy this pleasant read as the lead character tries pharmaceuticals to lose the weight.

    Harriet Klausner

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    Posted May 23, 2010

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