Reality Checkby Leslie Carroll, Charlotte Herscher (Editor)
IF LIZ CAN’T FIND “THE ONE”
SHE’LL TAKE THE MILLION.
Liz Pemberley is a smart girl with a weakness for bad boys, but for the first time in her life, her bad luck with men might just pay off. A hot new reality TV show called Bad Date is offering a million dollars to the singleton with the best story of romance gone awry./i>
IF LIZ CAN’T FIND “THE ONE”
SHE’LL TAKE THE MILLION.
Liz Pemberley is a smart girl with a weakness for bad boys, but for the first time in her life, her bad luck with men might just pay off. A hot new reality TV show called Bad Date is offering a million dollars to the singleton with the best story of romance gone awry. There’s no one with a more dismal dating history than Liz and she intends to prove it . . . on national television.
Once she gets on the show, the unimaginable happens–she meets a really nice guy. And not only is Jack Rafferty nice, he’s also, sexy, sweet, and ready to settle down. But as contestants on Bad Date, they’ve signed a contract that makes fraternizing with each other a major no-no. What’s a girl to do? Of course she wants to win the prize money, but Jack is too good to resist. With her fate on the show hanging in the balance, Liz will risk it all for the one thing she has always wanted–the perfect man!
- Random House Publishing Group
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Read an Excerpt
Are you perennially single? Do you want to make $1,000,000.00? Have your dating experiences been “doozies”?
You could be a contestant on
The new reality-based TV game show coming to you this fall from the people who brought you last season’s hit series Surviving Temptation.
14 lucky contestants’ll share harrowing tales of their hard-luck laps on the dating circuit. Our studio audience will vote on who has the worst date of the week. If you’re the solo single standing at the end of the season, YOU WIN ONE MILLION DOLLARS Plus an all-expense-paid trip for two to romantic Paris, the City of Lights.
Auditions March 15 in NYC, Chicago, and LA Phone 1-800-Bad-Date for audition information. I was the first one to see the ad. It must have been a karma thing, as my roommate Nell would say, because I never read the New York Post. I’m a Times kind of gal, and these days I read even that on the Internet. Jem, my other roommate, buys the Post for the horoscopes. You would think a professor of communications at a local community college, a grown woman with a Ph.D. on her wall and three pairs of Manolo Blahniks (bought retail) in her closet would have more sophisticated journalistic tastes. Not Jem. I know for a fact, though, she reads more than the horoscopes. She reads all four of the tabloid’s gossip columns, too.
I’m a sharer, so I thought it would be unfair to my other apartment mates to leave a gaping gash in the newsprint and smuggle the ad into my room. Besides, it wasn’t like I was the only “perennially single” woman in the country, let alone in the city, to see it. I was convinced, however, deep down in that unknowable way, that the jackpot was mine, though in the great collective unconscious, that was probably the thought shared by every unmarried person in the contiguous forty-eight states within a three-thousand-mile radius of either coast.
“C’mon you guys, let’s audition! I think we’re all photogenic enough to be on the show,” Nell said. I thought that was mighty charitable of her since Nell is perfect. She even has a perfect-sounding name, Anella Avignon. Nell has the naturally straight honey blonde hair that every movie star on all those awards shows pays a fortune to replicate. She’s got a metabolism like a tiger shark and never needs to exercise. She’s also got a trust fund. Nell is drop-dead gorgeous and does absolutely nothing all day, but since she pays the rent on time, I can’t complain. She could easily afford her own apartment but she says she gets lonely and has a horror of ending up like a modern day Miss Havisham, wandering aimlessly for decades around a warren of overdecorated rooms, so she prefers the company of roommates. Nell is also one of the most generous women on the planet. Witness her complimentary remark about all three of us vis-à-vis this Bad Date show. Nell is perfect. A perfect blonde goddess. This morning I started to face it—I’ve got Venus envy.
“Nell, you don’t need the million dollars. Why would you humiliate yourself on national television?” Jem asked her.
“Well,” Nell said thoughtfully, gazing into the middle distance, “it’s something to do. Besides, Daddy’s fed up with giving me something for nothing.”
Jem and I gasped in tandem. “What?!”
“Since I’ve got to eat and pay rent, it means I may actually have to get a job,” Nell said sadly. “So if I win the million dollars then I can afford to do nothing. And still give half the money to charity if I want to.” Nell got that “epiphany” look in her blue eyes. “That’s what I would do. I’d throw charity balls with it. Dress up in an evening gown, meet rich, great-looking guys, and give a bunch of dough to the Fresh Air Fund or something. I could do that. I’m good at throwing parties.”
See, this is why I can’t hate Nell. She really is such a generous soul despite the fact that she mentioned the chance to dress to the nines as her primary motivation for giving to charity. “I’ve never quite understood how you can do nothing all day and not get bored,” I said.
“Well, I do nothing now,” Nell insisted. “It’s only until I find something I really like to do. I’d rather do nothing than something I don’t like.” She added, looking straight at me, “I don’t know how you can do that, Liz.”
“Because some of us don’t have daddies who are CEOs of Fortune 500 companies,” I sighed. “And because people actually pay me money to write. Even though half the time these days I have zero belief in the product I’m writing the copy for . . . which makes it a tad hard to promote. And occasionally makes the client a little testy.”
“Yeah, well, I can see that,” Nell said helpfully.
I used to get a thrill out of coming up with an ad campaign from scratch, writing clever copy that would hook the consumer. Lately, though, I’d been getting my creative kicks by writing a parody of a Regency-era novel called The Rake and the ’Ho.
“I feel so soulless now, you guys. When I started copywriting, I enjoyed its creative challenges. There was an alchemy to it. Spinning words into gold. Smoke and mirrors. It was rewarding to know that my public service campaigns were reaching other people and perhaps making a difference in their lives. Maybe one more battered wife would seek help. Maybe one more mother would warn one more child about the dangers of ingesting lead paint. But over the past few months, every day I feel more and more like a charlatan. One of our clients—a very big account—household name—launched these little computer screens called ‘The Intelligencer,’ mounted inside elevators. The screens flash headline news, traffic conditions, weather, sports for the captive audience. A fifteen-word visual bite that changes every five seconds or so. Not even enough time to remember what you read, or enough information to make it truly useful.”
“You’re on your soapbox, girlfriend. It’s just a new form of communication,” Jem said. “What’s the matter with that?”
“The matter is that I was struck with how useless the product really is. My agency is being paid to pitch something that no one needs or would have even known they wanted if it hadn’t been invented. Complete manipulation of the consumer and a totally useless waste of technology.”
“So, if you won the contest . . .?” Jem asked me.
“I’d open my own cutting-edge ad agency that specializes in PSAs—smart public service messages for companies with a conscience. A million bucks would pay for the start-up.”
“Makes sense to me,” Nell said, dog-earing a page in her Victoria’s Secret catalogue. “This bathing suit wouldn’t make me look fat, guys, would it?”
Jem and I rolled our eyes.
“Honey, it could be down-filled and you wouldn’t look fat,” Jem answered her.
“Why would you enter this contest?” I asked Jem.
Jem may be the most hypereducated woman I know, but she’s finally—after years of psychotherapy—coming to terms with her name. “How can a black woman name her daughter Jemima?” she used to rant. The true genesis of Jemima’s name came when her mother saw the movie version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang when she was pregnant. She fell in love with the name of the little girl, Jemima, in the film. But Jem claimed that she was stigmatized, traumatized, and every other kind of “-tized” for the rest of her life by the appellation.
Jem laughed. “I think it would be a damn kick, that’s why. And kind of an interesting experiment to be part of. From a sociological point of view.”
“What would you do with the money if you won?” Nell asked her.
“Get out of teaching apathetic college students who are taking my courses merely to satisfy a requirement. Not have to deal with the unwanted sexual advances of a department head who’s a self-professed warlock. I’d bank the money so I could afford to teach inner-city first-graders. Mold their sweet little minds; teach them to read.”
“You’re incredibly noble,” I told her.
“I mean it,” Jem said.
And that was how we all decided to shelve our dignity in the name of a commitment to community service and audition for Bad Date, the reality game show.
Meet the Author
Native New Yorker Leslie Carroll is a professional actress as well as a novelist. She has appeared on stage, in short films, daytime dramas, and commercials, and has done voiceovers and talking books. She is the author of Miss Match. Leslie also writes historical and New York noir detective fiction, and is the author of three stage adaptations of nineteenth century/early twentieth century English novels: Ivanhoe, The Prisoner of Zenda, and The Scarlet Pimpernel. Additionally, she is the dramatist of The Diaries of Adam and Eve, based upon the humorous writing of Mark Twain. Leslie is a member of the Dramatists Guild, both the national and New York chapters of Romance Writers of America, and is a third-generation member of The Players, the country’s oldest and most prestigious theatrical and literary social club. She is a graduate of the Fieldston School in Riverdale and received her bachelor of arts from Cornell University.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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I enjoyed Ms. Carroll's first person style because unlike many authors attempting it, this author obviously knows the technical side of writing. The plot was also very enjoyable and unique with interesting characters. However, I'd advise the author in future to leave her dictionary and Thesaurus on the shelf. There is nothing more unpleasant then reading a book with words nobody ever use in a normal conversation or thought process. I mean really, do you ever say the word seraphically in normal everyday speech? It's not even in Word Check data base! How about angelic? Just because a word is in the English language does not mean it should be used in writing. You don't simply replace one word with another of similar meaning unless it 'fits' into the style and sentence structure.
The book was such a fun read. There were never really any boring parts. Its fun to read and u can really get into the characters.
i normally am not the person who loves to reads. However this book just caught my eye when i was browsing. This book is AMAZING it is so funny and smart. It will keep everyone on the smiling throughout the whole book. ENJOY!!
I was admittedly trepidatious about reading Ms. Carroll's new book after the mess that was Miss-Match but I'm pleased to report that her sophmore effort is much more accomplished and readable. She has fulfilled the promise of her earlier book with a much more realistic love story and an interesting look at the behind the scenes at a New York advertising agency. That said there are several flaws in this new work that mar it and keep it from being a totally pleasing read. The weakest link is the premise of the story. Considering the dating shows that are already on the air, Blind Date and Elimidate to name a few and To Live and Date in New York on the Metro Channel where you can actually see the bad dates, Bad Date simply does not work. Television is a visual medium, listening to people relate their bad dates week after week is not interesting. At least on Jerry Springer, the bad date would get to present another point of view. Also, the fact that the show is on an obscure cable channel when it cries out to be on UPN or the WB where the impact on the show would be immediate and letting the studio audience vote? How realistic is that when American Idol allows the country to vote week after week. Second the idea that a well-known movie actor who has a career would agree to host a game show is also unbelievable. Talk about career suicide! If this were 1989 would Paula Abdul really be judging American Idol or Naomi Judd Star Search? Even the obstacle of no fraternization between the contestants went out the window at the earliest convenience. How realistic is it that none of the contestants were never recognized in public? Also, an employee smoking a joint in the office would be fired immediately, even in advertising. No firm is that lenient and it would smell all the way down the hall. Ms. Carroll also needs to tone down the product placements and the musical comedy references as well as the plug for her previous book in the story. Ms. Carroll has a great deal of talent and it's a shame that it's being wasted on flimsy premises, contrivances, and [bad] jokes.
I am a huge fan of Ms. Carroll's and this newest book doesn't disappoint! It's a fun and touching look at the world of love and Reality television. The concept of bad Date is brilliant and after seeing Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, it makes me think Chuck barris should have a copy of this delightful novel. Kudos!
REALITY CHECK is romantic comedy at its very best! Ms. Carroll¿s characters are today¿s men and women with all their sass and creativity to deal with the modern world. Set in New York City, it pulls on all the zany characters that grow like mushrooms in its rich diversity. Don't miss this book that will keep you laughing, sighning and believing in love! REALITY CHECK is first-rate entertainment. Put this on your list as the first book to read in the New Year. Ms. Carroll makes the most of every situation. Her characterization is nothing short of brilliant! I¿m ready to read it again!
Leslie Carroll's second romantic comedy for Ballantine, REALITY CHECK, really rocks! This terrific, topical contemporary has three savvy NYC roommates checking in as contestants for the new reality game show, "Bad Date," where they must reveal their worst dates weekly on national TV to stay in the running for the million dollar prize. A no-fraternization clause in the show's contract proves a problem for clever copywriter Liz Pemberley when she's immediately smitten with co-contestant and Floridian restaurateur Jack Rafferty, who is just too good to be true and actually craves love and marriage. Ms. Carroll's latest comedy of errors kept me smiling throughout as each contestant reveals their worse dating nightmares and Liz and Jack's relationship really steams up. Readers should definitely check out REALITY CHECK to put smiles on their faces as well!
REALITY CHECK, the new urban romantic comedy by Leslie Carroll is nothing but a bundle of laughter and wit in the convenient form of a book! Ms. Carroll has penned a lightly satirical, sassy, sexy and exciting book that mocks the current craze for reality TV shows. Picture three trendy and hip bachelorettes sharing an apartment and living in the skyscraper city of NY -- Liz Pemberley is a smart-mouthed ad copywriter who's disenchanted with foisting useless products onto the gullible public and has an incurable penchant for nosiness; Anella "Nell" Avignon is a good-natured Park Avenue "trust-fundette" who works at not working; and thirdly, we have Jemima Lawrence who's a cool and collected lady, a teacher by profession, who can't believe that her mother, a black woman, gave her daughter that awful name! Ms. Carroll has made terrific use of the growing trend of reality based TV shows in her scrumptious new book REALITY CHECK. She not only takes the readers onto the set of "Bad Date," but also behind the scenes. She shows the deep and hidden motivations of the participants who're willing to reveal their most personal details to millions of viewers. It's not just the prize money, as we come to learn. Episode by episode, the story progresses until it reaches the most unpredictable but highly entertaining ending!! How true or honest these "reality" shows are -- well, Ms. Carroll reveals that too. The dating disaster stories will strike a chord with many of us and the readers are bound to see bits of Liz, Nell and Jem in their own girl friends. These plucky gals come to life under Leslie Carroll's deft touch and they're sure to remain in our memories long after the last page has been turned. The heat between Liz and Jack leaps right off the page and the sizzle factor increases astronomically! Kudos to Leslie Carroll who sensitively tells this fast-paced story in a funny and yet poignant manner that will touch the readers to their very soul! Charming, upbeat and an outrageous romp!
New York¿s SOHO copywriter Liz Pemberly feels her personal life is at zero so when she sees a NY Post advertisement for contestants to go on TV¿s Bad Date she decides to try out. The rules are simple as fourteen participants will vie for the one million dollar jackpot with each telling about a terrible date they suffered through. Each week, the audience will vote one person off the show and there is to be no fraternizing or the contestant will be disqualified. At the audition, Liz meets Miami restaurant owner Jack Rafferty, who she thinks is quite a hunk. As several weeks pass in which Liz and Jack survive, they feel a deep attraction to one another. However, both know that if they begin dating, they will lose the opportunity for the grand prize. Still they start to wonder if the money is worth it as they are starting to fall in love, but what will happen if they ever commence dating. This contemporary satirical romance spoofs the reality shows leaving no one standing at the end. The story line is amusing especially when the worst dates are presented and more so as Liz and Jack squirm to ignore their feelings, as deep in their hearts they believe that the show might cause them to miss a perfect match. Leslie Carroll furbishes a cheeky tale that readers will laugh with the characters while checking into the next rounds of reality TV. Harriet Klausner