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Are you feeling less engaged, less committed and more skeptical at work? Do you find yourself isolated? Or are you caught in the middle of co-workers? interpersonal conflicts? If so, you may be experiencing the symptoms of broken trust in workplace relationships. Small but hurtful situations accumulate over time into the confidence-busting, commitment-breaking, energy-draining patterns consistent with broken trust.
Broken trust is simply the natural outcome of people interacting...
Are you feeling less engaged, less committed and more skeptical at work? Do you find yourself isolated? Or are you caught in the middle of co-workers’ interpersonal conflicts? If so, you may be experiencing the symptoms of broken trust in workplace relationships. Small but hurtful situations accumulate over time into the confidence-busting, commitment-breaking, energy-draining patterns consistent with broken trust.
Broken trust is simply the natural outcome of people interacting with one another. Everyone has experienced gossiping, missed deadlines, someone taking credit for other people’s work and “little white lies.” You may have been hurt. You may have realized that you inadvertently let others down. Or, you may be wondering how to help others reeling from broken trust.
No matter your vantage point, Dennis Reina and Michelle Reina’s new book offers a proven seven-step process to heal pain and rebuild trust. This compassionate, practical approach will help you reframe the experience, take responsibility, forgive, let go and move on. Through healing, you will want to go to work again. You will feel safe to be more fully “who” you are and, once again give your organization your best thinking, highest intention, risk-taking and creativity. And in a place of self-discovery, self-trust and authenticity, you will connect more fully with others in your personal life as well
While there have been many books on recovering from betrayal in personal relationships, this book is the first to focus specifically on the workplace, and the first to give equal weight to what to do when you have hurt others. This award winning book is firmly grounded in the Reinas’ 20 years of rigorous research on trust and the empathy they have developed from supporting thousands of people on their healing journeys.
Rebuilding Trust In the Workplace is the winner of several awards, including a silver medal in the relationships category 2012 Nautilus Book Awards and a silver medal in the business ethics category of the 2011 Axiom Business Book Awards.
Introduction: Betrayal Is Universal
The Betrayal Continuum 2
The Impact of Betrayal 4
Betrayal: A Gift and a Teacher 6
The Three Vantage Points 8
The Seven Steps for Healing 9
Step 1 Observe and Acknowledge What Happened 15
When You Have Been Betrayed 17
When You Have Betrayed Others 22
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 27
Step 2 Allow Feelings to Surface 31
Ways to Surface Your Feelings 34
When You Have Been Betrayed 39
When You Have Betrayed Others 41
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 43
Step3 Get and Give Support 47
Ways to Get Support 49
When You Have Been Betrayed 54
When You Have Betrayed Others 56
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 58
Step 4 Reframe the Experience
See the Bigger Picture 64
Focus on Choices and Opportunities 69
Identify the Lessons 69
When You Have Been Betrayed 73
When You Have Betrayed Others 75
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 77
Step 5 Take Responsibility 81
Determine What Part You Own 82
Take Action 83
Realize What You Gain 84
When You Have Been Betrayed 86
When You Have Been Betrayed others 90
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 95
Step 6 Forgive Yourself and Others 99
Forgive Yourself 101
Forgive Others 103
When You Have Been Betrayed 104
When You Have Been Betrayed Others 111
When You Want to Help Others Rebuild Trust 113
Step 7 Let Go And Move On 115
Accept What Is So 116
How You Know When You Are Ready to Move On 119
Moving On Is Choosing to Act Differently 121
Integrate and Celebrate 123
When You Have Been Betrayed 124
When You Have Been Betrayed Others 127
When You Want to Help others Rebuild Trust 129
Conclusion: Renewing Confidence, Commitment, and Energy 131
The Healing Journey 131
The Outcome: Confidence, Commitment, and Energy 139
Transforming Others' Lives: Helping Rebuild Trust 146
About the Authors 161
Working with the Authors 163
Trust Building® Resources 165
Posted January 4, 2011
As a corporate communications and organizational development consultant, I know Dennis and Michelle and their work very well. This book not only brings their research and experience to life, but also channels their unparalleled combination of professionalism and heart-felt compassion. Their approach to clients, which is masterfully expressed in this book, reminds me of the line in a Sugarland song: they know "which hands to shake, and which hands to hold." In Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace, they "shake hands" by addressing the professional need to restore the "confidence, commitment and energy" that underpins our personal satisfaction at work as well as our organizations' results. At the same time, they "hold our hands" by empathetically supporting us while we as readers come to terms with how we've been hurt or have hurt others at work. They share their own stories that let us know they've been there, too -- as both the person whose trust was broken, and the person who broke trust. While there are some "tough love" sections that encourage us to stop blaming others and instead take responsibility for our part in the situation, the overall impression is one of comfort, hope and possibility.
This book is quick to read, appropriate to pick up when you have just a few minutes, and easy to follow. Yet it's not superficial because it gets right to the heart of the matter. Often, Dennis and Michelle put words on what I'd been feeling and thinking -- especially about times that I had, usually through carelessness or rushing, hurt someone else. I highly recommend this book for any individual who wants to improve their relationships at work, and for leaders who want to set a new standard for connection within their own relationships or within their departments. I believe that by following the steps they outline, we can all get rid of the baggage that's pulling our work environments down in terms of productivity and satisfaction.
One last point: although this book is written for the workplace, I found myself applying the concepts in my personal life, especially in my relationship with my teenage daughters. I hope that Dennis and Michelle write another book that gives even more direction about how to rebuild trust in families.