Reconcilable Differences, First Edition

Reconcilable Differences, First Edition

by Andrew Christensen, Neil S. Jacobson
     
 

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Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who "just doesn't get it" will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate… See more details below

Overview


Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who "just doesn't get it" will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behavior that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships.

Winner--Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Seal of Merit

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"Finally, a tested and therapeutic technique to help couples help themselves. It is straightforward, fair to both men and women, and each chapter is practical and wise. This is a book that couples can use together. It is easy to follow and not overwhelming. Most of all, this book will help couples in crisis to see each other's humanity and to find a way to understanding and acceptance and yes, change."--Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Love Between Equals

"This book speaks directly to the heart. Couples in conflict will recognize themselves in these pages and this reflection will gain their trust. The authors have written this book sensitively, with great clinical wisdom. Readers will learn how to heal their relationships and create the intimacy they want." --John Gottman, PhD, University of Washington, author of Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

"This well-researched and well-written book is exactly what quarreling couples need to extricate themselves from tangles of blame and accusation. It is not just a pep talk, but a practical, hands-on guide for all couples with conflicts--which is to say, all couples." --Carol Tavris, PhD, author of Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion

"This is an insightful and inspiring analysis of the kinds of conflicts couples experience, and how they may change and experience greater intimacy. Eschewing easy answers and simple-minded solutions, the book tackles the complexities of intimate conflict in ways that clarify the contradictions and ironies that lovers confront. Based on their groundbreaking approach to couple therapy and their extensive research on marriage, Christensen and Jacobson offer couples sophisticated and powerful tools for reconciling their differences." --Elizabeth Loftus, PhD, Department of Psychology, University of Washington, President, American Psychological Society

"One virtue of the book is its utter realism....Offers a slew of tools that couples can use to reconcile their differences without the help of a therapist." --Jane Brody, New York Times

"Packed with data, wisdom, and common sense." --Polly Drew, Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

Booknews
Developers of Integrative Couple Therapy offer solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change, centering on accepting differences, and cultivating compassion and respect. They dissect typical relationship conflicts, and give examples of ways to acknowledge each other's emotional vulnerabilities and personality differences. For general readers. Christensen is a professor of psychology at UCLA. Jacobson was a professor of psychology at the University of Washington. Annotation c. Book News, Inc., Portland, OR (booknews.com)

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781572302617
Publisher:
Guilford Publications, Inc.
Publication date:
10/06/1999
Pages:
332
Product dimensions:
6.27(w) x 9.22(h) x 1.09(d)

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