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The stretch of road that leads out of the city, past Hazy Harbor and into the town of Tedia, is perhaps the most unpleasant in the world. It is called Lousy Lane. Lousy Lane runs through fields that are a sickly gray color, in which a handful of scraggly trees produce apples so sour that one only has to look at them to feel ill. Lousy Lane traverses the Grim River, a body of water that is nine-tenths mud and that contains extremely unnerving fish, and it encircles a horseradish factory, so the entire area smells bitter and strong.
I am sorry to tell you that this story begins with the Baudelaire orphans traveling along this most displeasing road, and that from this moment on, the story only gets worse. Of all the people in the world who have miserable lives-and, as I'm sure you know, there are quite a few-the Baudelaire youngsters take the cake, a phrase which here means that more horrible things have happened to them than just about anybody. Their misfortune began with an enormous fire that destroyed their home and killed both their loving parents, which is enough sadness to last anyone a lifetime, but in the case of these three children it was only the bad beginning. After the fire, the siblings were sent to live with a distant relative named Count Olaf, a terrible and greedy man.
The Baudelaire parents had left behind an enormous fortune, which would go to the children when Violet came of age, and Count Olaf was so obsessed with getting his filthy hands on the money that he hatched a devious plan that gives me nightmares to this day. He was caught just intime, but he escaped and vowed to get ahold of the Baudelaire fortune sometime in the future. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny still had nightmares about Count Olaf's shiny, shiny eyes, and about his one scraggly eyebrow, and most of all about the tattoo of an eye he had on his ankle. It seemed like that eye was watching the Baudelaire orphans wherever they went.
So I must tell you that if you have opened this book in the hope of finding out that the children lived happily ever after, you might as well shut it and read something else. Because Violet, Klaus, and Sunny, sitting in a small, cramped car and staring out the windows at Lousy Lane, were heading toward even more misery and woe. The Grim River and the horseradish factory were only the first of a sequence of tragic and unpleasant episodes that bring a frown to my face and a tear to my eye whenever I think about them.
The driver of the car was Mr. Poe, a family friend who worked at a bank and always had a cough. He was in charge of overseeing the orphans' affairs, so it was he who decided that the children would be placed in the care of a distant relative in the country after all the unpleasantness with Count Olaf.
"I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable," Mr. Poe said, coughing into a white handkerchief, "but this new car of mine doesn't fit too many people. We couldn't even fit any of your suitcases. In a week or so I'll drive back here and bring them to you."
"Thank you," said Violet, who at fourteen was the oldest of the Baudelaire children. Anyone who knew Violet well could see that her mind was not really on what Mr. Poe was saying, because her long hair was tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes. Violet was an inventor, and when she was thinking up inventions she liked to tie her hair up this way. It helped her think clearly about the various gears, wires, and ropes involved in most of her creations."After living so long in the city," Mr. Poe continued, "I think you will find the countryside to be a pleasant change. Oh, here is the turn. We're almost there."
"Good," Klaus said quietly. Klaus, like many people on car rides, was very bored, and he was sad not to have a book with him. Klaus loved to read, and at approximately twelve years of age had read more books than many people read in their whole lives. Sometimes he read well into the night, and in the morning could be found fast asleep, with a book in his hand and his glasses still on.
"I think you'll like Dr. Montgomery, too," Mr. Poe said. "He has traveled a great deal, so he has plenty of stories to tell. I've heard his house is filled with things he's brought from all the places he's been."
"Bax!" Sunny shrieked. Sunny, the youngest of the Baudelaire orphans, often talked like this, as infants tend to do. In fact, besides biting things with her four very sharp teeth, speaking in fragments was how Sunny spent most of her time. It was often difficult to tell what she meant to say. At this moment she probably meant something along the lines of "I'm nervous about meeting a new relative." All three children were.
"How exactly is Dr. Montgomery related to us?" Klaus asked.
"Dr. Montgomery is-let me see-your late father's cousin's wife's brother. I think that's right. He's a scientist of some sort, and receives a great deal of money from the government."
As a banker, Mr. Poe was always interested in money.
"What should we call him?" Klaus asked.
"You should call him Dr. Montgomery," Mr. Poe replied, "unless he tells you to call him Montgomery. Both his first and last names are Montgomery, so it doesn't really make much difference."
"His name is Montgomery Montgomery?" Klaus said, smiling.
"Yes, and I'm sure he's very sensitive about that, so don't ridicule him," Mr. Poe said, coughing again into his handkerchief. "'Ridicule' means 'tease.'"
Klaus sighed. "I know what 'ridicule' means," he said. He did not add that of course he also knew not to make fun of someone's name. Occasionally, people thought that because the orphans were unforunate, they were also dim-witted.
Copyright C 1999 Lemony SnicketA Series of Unfortunate Events #2: The Reptile Room
Posted January 31, 2012
THIS SERIES IS THE BEST BOOK EVER IF I COULD RATE IT 1,000,000,000 STARS I WOULD.
THIS ONE IS MY 2ND FAVORITE IN THE SERIES EVEN THOUGH I AM ON BOOK 9? NUMBER 8 IS MY FAVORITE!!!!
THESE BOOKS ARE AWESOME I WOULD RECOMENED THIS TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!
I LOVE IT!!!
I STARTED THIS SERIES AT LIKE THE END OF 1ST GRADE OR BEGINING OF 2ND AND AM NOW IN 4TH GRADE I HAVE BEEN READING THEM SINCE AND CAN NOT STOP!!!!!! YOU HAVE TO READ IT!!
IT IS THE BEST BOOK IN THE WORLD!!!!!
IT IS MY FAVORITE BOOK EVER!!!!!!
I AM A HUGE FAN OF LEMONY SNICKET!!!!!!!!
26 out of 32 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 17, 2011
Posted January 1, 2012
Posted November 6, 2011
Posted October 16, 2011
Really good book! But it has 2 bad words in it so if you are an immature 10 year old or younger then it might be too explict. But if you are a mature 10 year old and older read it!!!!!!!!!! They r not really bad words though so...read it
12 out of 22 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 26, 2012
Posted October 26, 2011
Posted December 30, 2011
I have read almost all his books there all fantastic. I love the way he writes and then explains it but to be honest i already understand whats going on anyways. One thing i do find quite annoying is when he keeps repeating how sad the orphans are , and to be honest i know count olaf is bad but they really should be gratful they have a house. Anyways i love these books
7 out of 8 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 11, 2011
7 out of 11 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted January 2, 2013
This book is so good i could not put it down once i started reading it it is just such a wonderful book and i read it in about a day it is so good and it is an east read!
6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 25, 2012
My friends told me about this series and now im addicted to it. Definetly 5 star series keep up the good work Lemoney Snicket!!! : )
4 out of 6 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 21, 2000
Before I begin my review I would just like everyone to know that this artical is from the opinion of a child. I am eleven years old I read the Unfortunate Events Series almost everyday. I'm writing a review on the Reptile Room because it was on of my top two favorites. (The other is the Bad Beggining.) I give this book a five star rating because I think it's an outstanding book. When I first bought the first book of these series into school after I finished reading it I let a friend borrow it. Then I bought in the Reptile Room when it was first realesed I let another friend borrow it and it began a trend. Now everyone wants to get their hands on these great books. I liked the Reptile Room becasue I thought having doctor Lucafont being the hook-handed man was a very good twist. I also like that even though the story started out very pleasent for Violet, Klaus and Sunny Count Olaf still appeared in their lives again. I give all the books in his Lemony Snicket's series a five star review.
4 out of 7 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted March 9, 2013
Posted April 5, 2012
I love the series. See the first story is about these three children. Their parnets died in a fire and a man named Mr.Poe took them in under his wing and raised them till he found a relative. The relative is Count Olaff and he demands that Violet marry him so that he can get the Baudelaire fortune. And if Violet doesnt marry him he will drop their litte sister, Sunny off of a tower. So Violet's brother, Klaus reads a book and tells Violet a plan to sign the paper with her left hand insteed of her right hand so that they arent leagally married. I thank my best friend Bethany for getting me into these series.
3 out of 6 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 20, 2011
Posted September 29, 2013
Posted September 27, 2013
This is the best book ever i love them so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted September 15, 2013
Posted September 11, 2013
Posted August 7, 2013