Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of P.J. O'Rourke [NOOK Book]

Overview


"I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, all tiny Third World countries that don't have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don't find out), a sound dollar, and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who ...
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Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of P.J. O'Rourke

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Overview


"I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws, busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes, all tiny Third World countries that don't have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don't find out), a sound dollar, and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country. . . well, a real bad hangover." "To say that P. J. O'Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic-accurate but insufficient. At his best he's downright exhilarating . . . Republican Party Reptile is as rambunctiously entertaining as a greased pig catching contest. If you can find a funnier writer than P. J. O'Rourke, buy him a brandy, but don't lend him the keys to your pickup." -- Chicago Tribune; "Republican Party Reptile is hilarious. I laughed so hard reading this book that my armchair needs reupholstering. P. J. O'Rourke has got to be the funniest writer going, and boy does he go. This is high-octane wit, S. J. Perelman on acid." -- Christopher Buckley.

"Outrageous. . . .Hilarious. . . .Devastating. . . .Funny." The Washington Post

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
The humorous essays in O'Rourke's first collection originally appeared in publications ranging from Harper's, House and Garden and the Wall Street Journal to National Lampoon. Certainly the title will not appeal to most liberals, and selections like ``How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Having Your Wing-Wang Squeezed and Not Spill Your Drink'' will make conservatives frown. Perhaps the audience is limited to the eponymous ``Republican Party Reptiles,'' whom O'Rourke describes in the following terms: ``We look like Republicans, and think like conservatives, but we drive a lot faster and keep vibrators and baby oil and a video camera behind the stack of sweaters on the bedroom closet shelf.'' Those who have previously read and enjoyed the refreshingly funny ``Moving to New Hampshire'' and ``An Intellectual Experiment'' might find the rest of this collection disappointing and pointlessly offensive. (April)
Library Journal
These 21 ``essays and outrages'' by humorist O'Rourke are certainly wide-ranging, as evidenced by the publications in which they first appeared: National Lampoon (where he was editor during the late Seventies), Rolling Stone , House and Garden , Car and Driver , Harper's , and Wall Street Journal. Of his ``party'' he says, ``We look like Republicans, and think like conservatives, but we drive a lot faster. . . . '' Whether you agree or disagree with his politics, his outlook and presention are usually quite funny (but sometimes a bit too rude). O'Rourke is at his best when covering news of the day, as in ``In Search of the Cocaine Pirates'' and ``Goons, Guns, and Gold,'' and mocking the media, as in ``A Long, Thoughtful Look Back at the Last Fifteen Minutes.'' For most humor collections. Susan Avallone, ``Library Journal''
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781555847173
  • Publisher: Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
  • Publication date: 12/1/2007
  • Series: O'Rourke, P. J.
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 220
  • Sales rank: 242,911
  • File size: 3 MB

Read an Excerpt

Republican Party Reptile

Essays and Outrages
By P. J. O'Rourke

Grove Atlantic, Inc.

Copyright © 1987 P. J. O'Rourke
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0-87113-622-8


Chapter One

As once anything was excusable in the name of patriotism, now anything is excusable in the name of safety. We will kiss some low place on every dishtowel-head in the Levant rather than have a single breeder reactor on our shores. We will make every lube artist in America learn Japanese rather than produce an enjoyable automobile ... This is treason. America was founded on danger. How many lifeboat drills were held on the Mayflower? Where were the smoke detectors in the Lincoln family cabin? Who checked to see whether Indian war paint was made with Red Dye No. 2? It was the thrilling, vast, wonderful danger of America which drew people here from all over the world-spacious skies filled with blizzards and tornadoes, purpled mountain majesties to fall off, and fruited plains full of snarling animals and armed aborigines. America is a dangerous country. Safety has no place here.

In fact, safety has no place anywhere. Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the trotters). And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too.... Death was invented so we could have evolution. Theprocess of Darwinian selection does not work on things that don't die. If it weren't for death we would all still be amoebas and would have to eat by surrounding things with our butts.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Republican Party Reptile by P. J. O'Rourke Copyright © 1987 by P. J. O'Rourke. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Sort by: Showing all of 11 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 17, 2012

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 18, 2012

    Tigertail

    Streches and yawns before padding out

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 13, 2012

    Ju

    Cf

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 11, 2012

    Sparkaltail

    Lays in a nest

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 7, 2012

    Warrior den

    Turtlestar

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  • Posted June 30, 2011

    My favorite book by PJ

    i love this book. i am a Democratic Party supporter through and through, but this book and the light it sheds on the 80s is hilarious!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 6, 2003

    Hit or miss, but pretty funny overall

    Republic Party Reptile is a collection of the early work of P. J. O'Rourke, and as such it is a little more raw and a little less refined than his later work. Some of the pieces are unfunny and boring, but most of them are a laugh riot. The Soviet references are out-of-date, but it doesn't matter. P. J. will always make you laugh. P. S. Liberals need not apply.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 24, 2002

    EXCELLENT

    A WONDERFUL READ, THOUGH SOME IDEAS ARE HARDLY COSERVATIVE. O'ROURKE HAS CHANGED A LOT SINCE THIS BOOK ON MANY OF HIS CONSERVATIVE IDEAS. MORE FOUL LANGUAGE THAN A CONSERVATIVE WOULD EXPECT BUT POKING FUN AT LIBERALS IS WELL, FUN. BEST PARTS ARE LIFE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE AND HIS GRANDMOTHERS OPINION OF DEMOCRATS.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 22, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted December 22, 2011

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 15, 2010

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