Reviving Ophelia

Understanding Teenage Girls

The book, Reviving Ophelia talks about realy life stories of girls who goes through adolescence and how their attitude changes quickly and their behavior is unreadable. In the story, girls go to therapy and open up about their life and feelings to Mary Pipher. The girls struggling with many problems when they met high school and that's when everything changes. They starting drinking, smoking, have sex, and goingto parties. Their parents starts worriying about them and don't know what their daughters are thinking. So this book would be so helpful for parents to understand the difficulties their daughter is having. This book could relate to many people especially to the parents out there who are struggling to communicate with their daughters. I enjoy reading this book and I like how some of these girls could relate to me and reading others stories that are the opposite of my life.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Everyone should read this book

Reviving Ophelia is definitely an eye opener. It talks about all the pressure being put on teenage girls today, and how severely it is effecting them. I think every parent should read this book, to learn how to help their daughters during difficult times. It touches on just about every subject; divorce, addiction, boyfriends, and even death. The stories are very relateable and true to life.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

greatest work of mary pipher......a most read book

Mary Pipher is a great psychologist.You know as i read her book--reviving ophelia, i was inspired, came to the point that i want to be like her. i want to help girls and women who encounter problems. I really love this book and i also recommend that parents should read it to.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

what the hell?

this book does NOT explain teens today. it is very outdated and repetitive. what she basically says is: a) teens lose all interest in sports b) teens lose all communication with parents c) teens become depressed d) yada yada yada and i just couldn't read any more. a waste of my time.

1 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

Very poorly done

I gather that Mary Pipher is a few years older than I, but still of my generation. I can't say that I have much intimate knowledge of teenage girls either at the time Pipher was writing or now, but I do recognize that she has made some of the most basic mistakes in sociological and psychological analysis, and judging by my own experience, her understanding of the generation of the mothers' of these teenagers is limited and faulty. Pipher begins with what is sometimes regarded as Freud's most fundamental error, i.e., taking the patients who enter one's office as a valid cross-section of the society. She also uses her experience of growing up in a small town surrounded by a closely-knit extended family as the exemplar of our (and the mothers') generation. My own experience was a lot closer to that of the teenagers that she describes than to hers. Pipher seems to be utterly unaware of the Sixties Counterculture, which casts serious doubt upon her qualifications as a social critic. I think it is irresponsible to encourage girls to regard themselves as misunderstood and alienated, and in fact, most of the Baby Boomers had direct or indirect knowledge of the pressure for sex and drugs. Whether or not it has become worse, it certainly isn't a new problem. Pipher also ignores the various studies, dating back to at least the 1970s, showing that despite the fabled Generation Gap, most teenagers share their parents' values (radical teenagers often have radical parents) and recently, a study showing that most girls feel close to their mothers. Fianlly, mainly of the toxic 'isms', like lookism, which Pipher insists the older generation doesn't know and cannot understand, have been around for decades, if not centuries or millenia.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Great

I read this for my journalism class this past summer, and I loved it. Not only did it answer some big questions of mine, but - as a high schooler- it helped me understand what girls my age are going through. It's a great book for anyone trying to understand a teen girl's mind and its a great read.

Relatable

I am a twelve year old girl with depression, and even though I've only read the sample(because my mom wanted it and I was curious as to what she wanted) it just reminded me of my elementary days. I used to run around all the time, speak my own mind, not worry about what others thought of me. I got along with everyone, sand in public, read vivaciously. I was so happy. Then after the death of my father (he had depression) I became a recluse. I don't know if anyone in my class noticed this, but I became mean and sarcastic then. No longer the vivacious girl that ran around and sang in public, I kept on going on a ladder, and not up, but down. Now, in 7th grade, the beginning of new crushes, responsibility, freedom... but with the good comes the bad. Insecurities, depression, rejection-the feelings every girl experiences. This book, even just a sample that was only 15 pages, gave me a feeling of acception. Alot of people go through this. Buy this book. You will not regret it.

If this is the true picture of teenage girls, our society is in deep trouble!

My husband and I have two very different teenage daughters. The first is a 4.2 student, long-legged, blonde, poised, and certain she has risen above the angst. She is just waiting for her friends to catch up (yet she never leaves the house and picks on her parents relentlessly). The second, three years younger, was a tomboy, popular with the boys and girls, and them --bam--hit junior high and 'where'd she go?' When the second hit a critical point, we looked for guidance and the therapist recommended this book, Reviving Ophelia.' I read it, wanting to help my daughter, only to realize we were sailing through as parents if the case studies were even half right. I suppose Ms. Pipher has the view of one who has seen it all 'alcohol abuse, drugs, sex, cutting, suicide, holy smokes!! Good God!!' Well if this book did anything it reinforced that we were on the right track and I shouldn't lose too much more sleep. But it does beg the question, is this really a true picture of what girls go through in our society? If it is, we as a society are in big 'BIG!!' trouble. I don't think it is. Call it denial, I just refuse to believe it's that bad. Still thanks for the basic advice, Mary. I did take quite a few notes.

As Liberal as You Can Get

If you are a conservative mother of faith looking for help with your teen daughter, this is NOT the book. Pipher is a radical leftist who: praises the mother of a 16-year old girl for encouraging her in her pursuit of lesbianism, attributes vegetarianism in teen girls to a desire to 'speak for those without a voice,' and quotes numerous leftist politicians (Hilary Clinton, Janet Reno, etc.). She ascribes to the tired old feminist notion of girls being short-changed in our schools; however, Christina Hoff Sommers has blown the lid off that scam! She seems to genuinely believe her 'theories,' but admits they are simply her observations as a therapist. She also seem obsessed with the notion that sexual abuse of teen girls is rampant; however, everything is anecdotal. Pipher does admit that the liberal let-them-find-themselves parenting does NOT work, and that parents need to be loving, but IN CONTROL. It's worth a read, but beware.

0 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

Highly Recommended!

As a high school aged teen facing many social issues this book hit home. Reviving Ophelia looked at the physiology and sociology of teen girls facing tough issues. It was broken down in to sections talking about relationships with parents and friends, drugs, sex, alcohol, and self-image. This book gives real life stories of how girls cope in certain situations and how they can be helped through these situations. I enjoyed this book very much; when I was finished (and didn¿t want to be finished) I passed it on to my parents and a good friend. I think this book is great for many teens that are interested in there own life, and for all parents of teen girls.

I wish this book had been written while I was still in high school

This book came out just shortly before I graduated from high school and I dearly wish that it had been written at least 5 years earlier as I(and many other girls) could have had an easier time of it during and after school. I read this book a few months ago(as a 27 year old) and it explained a lot of things to me including why I spent so many years in La La Land(survival technique) and why I became such an incredibly private person(another survival technique). Until recently I thought I was a basketcase as a teenager. Turns out I was one strong cookie getting through a hellish time in the healthiest way possible. I highly recommend that every girl and her parents read this book before high school.

Reviving Ophelia & My Experiences

I opened Reviving Ophelia with an open mind. As a 17-year old high school junior, I am usually turned off by books that my mother and teacher enjoy. This one, however, was much different. Immediately, I was pulled into the book. Maybe it was because I realized that I am one of the girls Pipher is talking about; I am Ophelia. I doubt if I was a boy or even a father I would be very interested, but because it pertained to me directly I was pulled into the reading. I could relate to each and every one of the 'characters' in one way or another. I felt for these girls and their problems, and each and every one of them contributed to the book. I don't think I've ever read a book before and was able to just say 'Yes! I know exactly what you are talking about!' It's nice to know that there are actual studies done on teenagers; that someone would think to take the time to figure out what it is with teenagers (girls in particular) that make us the way we are. Mary Pipher's main thesis is practically the life of every teenage girl out there, including myself. It makes me realize that as a young teenage girl, I am not alone. By reading this book, I have learned that society just expects boys to be able to handle more on their own and be more independent than girls. That is just an assumption made by many. As to if it's true or not, I couldn't say because I am not a boy, I have no brothers, and I have never read a book about the lifestyle of a teenage boy. A lot of girls today no longer have the support behind them telling them 'You are not alone'. The author's tone was very sympathetic and understanding to the girls, and she told each story with a personal glimpse behind it. It's almost as if Mary Pipher had known each and every one of those girls for years. Each tale of the unique girls had a conflict and resolution. Throughout the last third of the book, a lot of the girls' problems had to do with their relationships with others. Boyfriends, moms, dads, and siblings were all common topics. Some of the girls that I read about were so interesting that I wish I could read more about them. Mary Pipher has established a theme that growing up as an adolescent girl is not easy. It's challenging, confusing, scary, and exciting all at the same time. Adults sit back and watch us run and fall, and they have to step back and let us get up on our own. We won't learn anything by not falling, but there comes a point when the last time you fall and you feel as though you are never going to make it back up, an adult is needed to lend that hand and pick us back up. Pipher calls it 'girl-poisoning'. Girls are pushed to be someone they aren't; do things they don't want to do; and be happy doing it. There is media, sexism, feminism, and raging hormones that are everywhere. Throughout this book, these girls' tales have been completely real and un-cut. They tell it how it is, and then Pipher explains the psychological aspects behind what they feel and think. One of my favorite phrases in the book was, 'Ophelia died because she could not grow. She became the object of others' lives and lost her true subjective self.' (Pipher 292) Ophelia is from Shakespeare's Hamlet. In Hamlet, she is a free and happy child who loses herself at adolescence. When she falls in love with Hamlet, her only objective in life becomes living for his approval. Torn apart by her efforts to please both her Hamlet and her parents, she loses the fight when Hamlet rejects her for being a compliant daughter. Beset by grief, and without any inner direction, Ophelia drowns in a creek, weighed down by her heavy and elegant clothes. Pipher uses the title Reviving Ophelia in reference to bringing back what died inside Ophelia- that adolescence innocence. Is it really possible to bring back a self that you lost? And if you did bring back that self, would it be the same thing? Mary Pipher is posing the question, What can we as a society do to help adolescent

A 'You're Not Alone' Book

I am a psychology student at the university of Utah. I read this book as a junior in High School and was absolutely drawn in and amazed. Pipher explains the emotional struggle of real, everyday girls. These are not your typical 'That would never happen to me' experiences. Great for girls and parents of girls.

Valuable Read

I read this book as a freshman in high school, too bad so late. My sister read it as a seventh grader and I wish both my parents had picked it up, too. It offers a surprisingly unbiased view at what teens have to go through everyday, not a nagging, parental view telling us not to do this or that. I'd recommend it for young teens and would ask their parents who read it to remember what their teen years were like, too.

Eye-Opener

This book was a real eye opener. It had things in it that I had never known about what some girls had to go through. It is kind of a depressing book, just because of some of the girls stories. For example, their parents getting divorced. That would crush anyone. Espcecially at a time in their life that is so delicate. In the book, it explains how life is like for girls that just live with one parent. Most girls would rather live with their dads because many teens don't get along with their moms because of differences. I would highly reccomend this book to teens and to moms that are recently dealing with adolescent girls.

I am saved

Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls is a huge understatement of what Reviving Ophelia by Dr. Mary Pipher can really do for society, parents, boys and not to mention, teenage girls. This book is full of deep emotion, feeling and a slight bit of understanding of what is inside the female part of the teenage culture today! Pipher explains what is behind the common teenage diseases today such as eating disorders, depression, and suicide. She gives real life cases of girls lost in societies grasp and not knowing what to do. The girls are so easy to relate to while understanding them is impossible to most. Pipher is brave at attempting to understand this culture and how society is so influential among women. She explains in simple terms how culture is killing the women developing inside an adolescent body. Pipher explains the reality of society and what will come of girls in the future if society does not soon understand what they are doing to kill the playful and colorful spirits inside adolescent girls. I have truly found myself in Reviving Ophelia and I don¿t understand how anyone can¿t!

GREAT FOR BOTH TEENAGE GIRLS AND PARENTS

This book has helped me to bond with my family and friends significantly. My mother first read it and passed it on to me. After I read it I passed it on to my group of best friends. This book has travelled far. It has enabled us to speak openly to each other about many issues that we were ashamed of in the past. The issues raised in this book can be related to by many teenage girls. It also helps parents to understand what their daughters go through and they don't even realise it. Great book.

This book changed my life-

this book has changed my life. i learned that being a teenage girl isnt about bing pretty and looking like britney spears- just read it

A GOOD READ

I found this book to be interesting. The author's case studies were revealing and, in most instances, very sad. As the mother of a 13-year-old girl, it was kind of depressing to read about what she may be expected to encounter in the near future as she enters high school. Reading the case studies and examples helped me understand adolescent girls' behavior. But, I think it would be helpful if the author could provide suggestions on what to say and what to do to help girls who are going through certain situations. I would recommend this book.

Eye-opening

This is indeed an eye-opening book, with unfalteringly honest stories guaranteed to touch nerves in most teenage girls, and certainly almost any mother. There is at least one story in here for everyone, whether it brings tears to the eyes, elicits anger, or simply makes you stop and think. However, if this book has one fault, it lies in the 'what about the rest of us?' quotient. Pipher has dealt with many extreme cases, but what about the girls who have not experienced sexual abuse, or developed eating disorders, etc? Aren't they, too, affected by this 'girl-poisoning' culture? They may feel compassion for, but find it difficult to relate to, the people in the cases Pipher talks about. Despite this, though, 'Reviving Ophelia' is an incredible book, and an alarming look at what too many adolescents are having to face.