Rewire Your Brain for Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness

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In Rewire Your Brain for Love, neuropsychologist Marsha Lucas brings together neuroscience and mindfulness meditation in an exciting program to help readers create and sustain better, healthier, juicier romantic relationships.

With a passion for neuroscience and the ability to relay it in a clear, unintimidating—and funny— manner, Lucas delves into how the human brain works in relationships, exploring the neurological connections that fuel our reactions. In an inviting and ...

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Rewire Your Brain for Love: Creating Vibrant Relationships Using the Science of Mindfulness

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In Rewire Your Brain for Love, neuropsychologist Marsha Lucas brings together neuroscience and mindfulness meditation in an exciting program to help readers create and sustain better, healthier, juicier romantic relationships.

With a passion for neuroscience and the ability to relay it in a clear, unintimidating—and funny— manner, Lucas delves into how the human brain works in relationships, exploring the neurological connections that fuel our reactions. In an inviting and reassuring tone, she describes how we developed our current relationship wiring and how to modify it through mindfulness meditation. Focusing on nine high-voltage benefits—including everything from  being able to better manage your reactions, to improved communication with yourself and others, to an enhanced ability to handle fear—Lucas shows how a short daily meditation practice can change the way you interact with everyone around you…especially those closest to you.

Each chapter focuses on one benefit, including an in-depth description of exactly what that benefit is and how it will improve the reader’s life. She looks at the science and research associated with mindfulness meditation in relation to each benefit, and then provides readers with a specific meditation to help bring that benefit into their relationships.

Imagine, instead of blowing up at an off-hand statement your partner makes, you are able to stop, breathe, and respond in a thoughtful manner. And as the author says, “You don’t have to become a monk, or a vegetarian, or spend hours contemplating your navel”; you simply need to notice your mind’s busyness and not get all tangled up in it. This simple process truly can change your life.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

“This is great stuff. The latest, best mindful brain science in a wildly practical form, with wise and clear practices that can radically transform your relationships.”
Jack Kornfield, PhD, author The Wise Heart: A Guide to the Universal Teachings of Buddhist Psychology

“Psych Central’s Recommendation: Worth Your Time! Rewire Your Brain for Love is one of those great hybrids between self-help and education. If you’re looking for a method to tackle relationship problems (or even just ‘life’ problems), you’d be hard-pressed to find a better primer.”
— Dan Berkowitz, PsychCentral Book Reviews

“Change your brain’s pathways and you change the path of your relationships: that’s what neuropsychologist and psychotherapist Marsha Luca, PhD offers in Rewire Your Brain for Love. She uses her sense of humor and compassion as much as her knowledge of neuroscience and mindfulness to get you growing toward new, more vibrant relationships. Incredibly useful and highly engaging!”
Marci Shimoff, New York Times bestselling author of Happy For No Reason and Love For No Reason

“With entertaining humor and enlightening clarity, Dr. Lucas blends cutting-edge discoveries in neurobiology and psychology with time-honored practices from ancient wisdom traditions to help us navigate the challenges of intimate relationships. Full of real-life examples and practical tools, this book is a delightful must-read for anyone wanting to get along better with other people.”
Ronald D. Siegel, PsyD, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychology, Harvard Medical School; author of The Mindfulness Solution
Rewire Your Brain for Love is delightfully engaging and easy to read. Everyone will find something life-enhancing inside these pages.”
Christiane Northrup, MD, author of the New York Times bestsellers Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause

“Honest, warmhearted, and funny. Marsha Lucas explains neuroscience in plain English, so all of us can understand. She brings great clarity to the sometimes murky waters of romantic relationships and gives us a wonderful introduction to mindfulness meditation and its benefits.”
Sharon Salzberg, author of Real Happiness

“Marsha Lucas takes the mystery out of two mysterious subjects—the inner workings of our brains and the successful pursuit of true love. She’s a wise and funny cupid, bringing together our hearts and minds as she explains amygdalas and anxiety, frontal lobes and commitment-phobes. She’s an excellent advocate for meditation, presenting its benefits in a unique, compelling way.”
Priscilla Warner, New York Times bestselling author of Learning to Breathe

“Each of us has the potential to live with an open, loving heart. This book shows us how meditation awakens our capacity for increased presence, intimacy, and understanding in our relationships. With clarity and humor, Marsha Lucas gives us both the fascinating science behind this transformation, and the practices that make it possible.”
Tara Brach, PhD, bestselling author of Radical Acceptance

“With Rewire Your Brain for Love, Marsha Lucas has pulled off an achievement that is as valuable as it is rare: she synthesizes complex neurophysiological information about the brain’s role in relationships, in clear, reader-friendly ways; and combines this with effective tools and suggestions for beefing up the capacity for attachment. And there’s a bonus: she’s a really fine, witty, accessible writer. Anyone who struggles with garden-variety anxiety about love, all the way up to fullblown phobia, should read this book, more than once. And it should be dog-eared and well worn on every therapist’s reference shelf.”
Belleruth Naparstek, LISW, author of Invisible Heroes and creator of the Health Journeys guided imagery series
“Dr. Lucas shows readers how to use the power of neuroplasticity—the capacity of the mind to change the brain—to build up the ‘circuits’ of resilience, empathy, and assertiveness for relationships. Her voice is warm, funny, down-to-earth, practical, and so very helpful. This book is like having a best friend who is both savvy about the brain and a world-class therapist.”
Rick Hanson, PhD, author of Buddha’s Brain
“Marsha Lucas’s is a smart and reader-friendly guide for an exciting journey through our hearts and brains. Dr. Lucas skillfully interweaves her therapeutic and neuroscientific knowledge with personal wisdom into a rich, meaningful, and accessible tapestry that expands our self-awareness in the service of sustaining and deepening our relationships.”
Louis Cozolino, PhD, Professor of Psychology, Pepperdine University; author of The Neuroscience of Human Relationships

“Dr. Lucas provides an accessible and practical guide to help us bring alive the exciting intersection of mindfulness and neuroscience for healthier relationships and a better life.”
Elisha Goldstein, PhD, author of The Now Effect and co-author of A Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Workbook

“We live in a world of failed relationships and loss of love. Dr. Lucas has given us the science and clinical application of mindfulness meditation tools to help us heal ourselves, our relationships, and our world. We are all in need of this sage advice.”
Allan Warshowsky, MD, FACOG, ABIHM, Director Emeritus of the American Board of Integrative Holistic Medicine

“You hold in your hands a unique piece of work. Marsha guides you carefully, to help you understand the unique benefits of mindfulness from the inside-out, and so helps to ignite or re-ignite your passion for the meditative practice. Better relationships lie at the heart of a life of health and well-being. Through reading this book, you learn to become an electrician of your own brain, and discover specific mind techniques that lead to a better relationship with both yourself and those close to you. A delight to read—highly recommended!”
Shamash Alidina, author of Mindfulness for Dummies and Relaxation for Dummies

“This excellent book takes the reader on an exciting journey of self discovery and healing through the emerging field of neurobiology and mindfulness meditation. Dr. Lucas presents scientific concepts in an easily understood manner and goes on to assist the reader to learn meditation techniques that have demonstrated proven healing benefits for emotional, psychological, and physical problems as well as for those individuals who strive for optimal wellness. This book is a must-read for everyone.”
Leonard A. Wisneski, MD, FACP, Professor at George Washington University, Georgetown University, University of Colorado; author of The Scientific Basis of Integrative Medicine

“Ever wondered why you get stuck in the same old relationship patterns? With no-nonsense wit and warmth, Marsha Lucas shows you what’s happening at brain level when habits form, persist, and most importantly, shift. Crucially, she also shows you how to apply this knowledge to transform your intimate connections—all with the simple practice of mindfulness. This book will bring joy not just to many readers, but to those who share their lives.”
Ed Halliwell, co-author of The Mindful Manifesto

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401931612
  • Publisher: Hay House, Inc.
  • Publication date: 2/1/2012
  • Pages: 201
  • Sales rank: 1,441,566
  • Product dimensions: 6.10 (w) x 9.10 (h) x 0.90 (d)

Meet the Author


Marsha Lucas, PhD., is a licensed psychologist and neuropsychologist, and has been practicing psychotherapy and studying the brain-behavior relationship for nearly twenty years. Prior to entering private practice, she was a neuropsychologist on the faculty at the Emory University School of Medicine.

She fell in love with interpersonal neurobiology in a conference room full of 750 other people—finding herself getting some odd looks when she had tears of joy rolling down her face at the mention of the anterior cingulate and the insula in the same sentence as “greater empathy.” She appreciates the integration of mindfulness, neuroscience, and relationships as a perfect confluence of many of the previously unintegrated aspects of her life.

Dr. Lucas maintains a clinical private practice in Washington, D.C. She lives in suburban D.C. with her husband, Duncan Krieger, their son, Gabriel, and their dog, Bodhi Tzedakah.

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Table of Contents

Introduction: Rewiring Your Brain for Love: The Best Do-It-Yourself Project You'll Ever Do xiii

Part I Understanding Your Current Wiring Diagram Please Read the Owner's Manual Before Attempting Repairs

Chapter 1 Early Relationship Experiences: Attached at the Hip Hippocampus 3

Chapter 2 What Goes Where: The Wiring Diagram of the Relationship Brain 19

Part II Becoming Your Own Master Electrician Essential Relationship Wiring Features and How to Power Them Up

Chapter 3 Rewiring the Alarm Button: Body Regulation 37

Meditation: Basic Mindfulness 53

Chapter 4 Circuit Breakers to Prevent Overheating: Fear Modulation 57

Meditation: Circuit Breaker 74

Chapter 5 Installing a Dimmer Switch: Emotional Resilience 75

Meditation: "Can You Feel Me Now?" 88

Chapter 6 Grounded Electrical Outlets: Response Flexibility 91

Meditation: "Catch a Wave" 102

Chapter 7 Putting a Work Light in the Attic: Insight/Self-Knowing 105

Meditation: Body Scan 122

Chapter 8 Acquiring a Voltmeter: Empathy 125

Meditation: Loving-Kindness 138

Chapter 9 We're All on the Same Power Grid: From Me to We 145

Meditation: Interconnectedness 158

Part III You've Got the Power

Chapter 10 Living with Your New Wiring 163

Meditation: Abiding Changes 175

Final Thoughts 179

Resources 181

Endnotes 189

Acknowledgments 197

About the Author 201

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 9 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Posted May 24, 2012

    Heard her on a professional webinar, definitely recommended

    I heard Dr. Lucas on a webinar for healthcare professionals around the world. (I'm not a doctor, but I'm committed to taking good care of my health.) It was one of the best talks I've ever heard from a professional. Not jargon or psych-babble, but serious science presented in a real and useful way.
    Dr. Lucas writes like she talks (real words, kind, funny, lively), so it's a bit like having a convo with her as you read. Very useful info, backed by real science without dumb claims.
    The only question is why this is "just" for relationships? It's really good for much more than that. Definitely recommended.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 22, 2012

    Very clear, very helpful, very real (not new-age fluff)!

    A lot of the self-help books I've read have either very little heart, very little practical substance, or nothing at all to back them up. I really appreciate what I got from this book, since it delivers on all of those. I felt like I was having a very cool conversation with the author, with a lot of heart and humor and compassion; there was real substance and a practical, "you can do this" approach (which has already been helpful to me, even just two weeks into putting it into practice); and the science to back it up is real.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted April 21, 2012

    Inspiring, empowering, definitely recommended

    This is a book I've been hoping someone would write. It takes the power of scientific research and puts it into warm, accessible language woven with real-life examples about how to make your relationships seriously better.
    Dr. Lucas seems like someone I'd enjoy hanging out with, since she brings together science, love, attachment, and mindfulness, all things on the top of my list.

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted June 13, 2012

    Wish we'd had this twenty years ago :)

    My husband and I both read this. He never reads self-improvement books, but since this one has solid science research behind it, he was willing to give it a go after I'd read it and he could see how I was already doing our interactions differently.
    We can both already see progress and changes in our relationship from this book, having both finished it a month ago. It feels like we don't get on the same ridiculous (sometimes hurtful) roller-coaster ride any more; what a relief! I wish we'd had this book twenty years ago. Giving a copy to our daughter who is about to be married.
    Highly recommended!

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 18, 2013

    more from this reviewer

    Reviewed by Darin Godby for Readers' Favorite Author Marsha Luc

    Reviewed by Darin Godby for Readers' Favorite

    Author Marsha Lucas writes: "Fear and anger are intimately related." She suggests that fear can't be truly dealt with until it is acknowledged. Dealing with how our brains operate concerning the left and the right sides is very interesting and allows the reader to better understand why they respond the way they do at times. She challenges us to move toward the left side of the brain in order to improve our mood and reduce our stress. Author Lucas also promotes the importance of meditation and how it helps one to become less stressful when they can learn to relax. Learning to pause throughout the day was another helpful item that was brought forth in Rewire Your Brain For Love. When we learn to pause throughout various times of the day, to just breathe and relax, then we find ourselves not allowing circumstances to dictate our surroundings.

    Definitely one of the most important and helpful parts of the book is when author Lucas states: "...the biggest thing that holds us back from making changes is all of us carry around self-limiting thoughts as a way of protecting ourselves from change." When we create self-limiting thoughts, it holds us in bondage and keeps us from becoming a stronger more influential individual to those around us. Also included is a well written resource section found at the end of the book. The reader is left with many additional outlets to truly develop within a particular area and become a better person. An insightful and informative read.

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  • Posted April 13, 2012

    more from this reviewer

    Don't Waste Your Money

    Didn't really get anything out of this book-too complicated!

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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    Posted April 19, 2012

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    Posted February 20, 2012

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    Posted May 7, 2012

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