Read an Excerpt
Warning: This excerpt contains content of an adult subject matter and adult language.
I learned long ago never to assume things or else, as my fourth-grade teacher would constantly tell me, I risked making an "ass" out of "u" and "me." I think it would be naive of me to assume I am so well-known to the mainstream public that anyone picking this book up would automatically be familiar with my name(s)-either one of them. Considering I'm offering advice on the most intimate subjects, I thought it would be appropriate to take a moment to introduce myself and give you a brief history of both Adam and Seymore:
1975-Moved to Santa Monica, California.
1978-Lost my virginity to a girl named Jennifer. The entire experience lasted less than two minutes.
1978-The day after losing my virginity, I discovered masturbation.
1980-Got my first job as a "carny" on the Santa Monica Pier.
1980-My first threesome with two girls.
1981-Caught my first STD-venereal warts.
1982-Graduated from Santa Monica High School.
1983-Worked as a shoe salesman.
1985-Graduated personal trainer program at American College of Sports Medicine.
1987-Attended first swing party.
1988-Opened up gym in downtown Los Angeles.
1990-John Stagliano rented out my gym to film a movie called Where the Girls Sweat.
1991-I sold my gym and decided to pursue a career in the adult industry.
1991-I shot my first adult movie, called Street Fantasies, which featured a girl picking up a homeless guy and fucking him on top of his cardboard box.
1991-I adopted the stage name Seymore Butts.
1992-The Adventures of Seymore Butts was released.
1993-Arrested during adult industry fundraiser at the Pure Pleasure Bookstore in Las Vegas. No charges were ever filed.
1993-Caught my second STD-herpes.
1994-Misdiagnosis of a skin condition on my penis leaves me with a "spotted dick" (not the kind served in English restaurants!).
1995-Arrested in Florence, Italy, for taking nude pictures of a girl in public. The case is still pending and I'm told I will be arrested if I attempt to enter the country.
1996-My son was born!
1997-My first Web site, seymorebutts.com, was launched.
1998-Won AVN Award for Gonzo Series of the Year.
1999-Won AVN Award for Gonzo Series of the Year.
1999-Arrested in Brussels, Belgium, for taking nude pictures of a girl in public. No charges were filed.
2000-Hired to write sexual advice column for U.K. Penthouse magazine.
2000-Prosecuted for obscenity by the city of Los Angeles. All obscenity charges were eventually dropped, eighteen months later.
2002-Production of reality TV series Family Business for Showtime commenced. The show ran for four seasons in the United States and still plays around the world to this day.
2004-Elected to serve as a member of the board of directors for the Free Speech Coalition.
2005-Inducted into the AVN Hall of Fame.
2006-Inducted into the X-Rated Critics Organization Hall of Fame.
2007-Inducted into the NightMoves Awards Hall of Fame.
2008-Signed publishing deal with Gotham Books to write a sexual advice book specifically for men: Rock Her World.
2009-My first site for cell phones was launched, sbutts.mobi.
The AVN (ADULT VIDEO NEWS) AWARDS is an annual event that takes place every January in Las Vegas, Nevada. This awards ceremony attracts hundreds of the adult industry's biggest stars and is considered the industry's version of the "Oscars."
You should also know that I have had sex with over six hundred women (I stopped counting at age thirty-two) in my lifetime and I would estimate at least 85 percent of those encounters have happened off-camera. I have made over 140 movies during my eighteen-year career in the adult entertainment industry. I am most proud of the instructional movies I have produced, including Female Ejaculation: A Complete Guide, How to Eat Pussy Like a Champ, and Do-It-Yourself Porn.
After a seven-year custody battle, I was awarded 100 percent physical and legal custody of my son. Currently, we live together along with my fiancée in California. I have been monogamous for the last five years, the longest stretch of one-woman sex I've experienced since I was a teenager! And by the way, I am completely 100 percent satisfied sexually in the relationship I have with Mirna. I believe communication, sacrifice, and mutual respect are the keys to the success of our relationship in the bedroom and beyond its borders. It hasn't always been smooth sailing, but over time we have learned to talk about what we like and need sexually. We have learned that there are times we need to be there sexually for each other even if it doesn't "fit into the schedule" or one of us doesn't happen to be "in the mood." Most importantly, we have learned to respect each other's boundaries and not to judge each other for our sexual likes or dislikes, and we both realize our relationship must always travel along a two-lane highway as opposed to a one-way street. In our case, we prefer to call the route the Hershey Highway. Yes, we now share a mutual passion for anal sex, among other things. It wasn't always that way, though. When Mirna and I first began dating, she felt it necessary to tell me that her ass was an exit-only orifice. With patience and a plan, Mirna was soon as enthusiastic about anal sex as I was! You can read more about these techniques in the chapters that follow.
Now I need to backtrack for a moment. I want to discuss that "six hundred" number for a moment. Some of you may read that I have slept with over six hundred women and say to yourselves, "That lucky motherfucker!" I would have agreed with you up until my middle thirties, but now I don't consider the number of sexual encounters I've had to be anything more than an indication of my intimacy issues, and that I'm a great liar! Let's face it, in order to bed over six hundred women you've got to be willing to say or do anything it takes to achieve your goal-whether you really mean it or not. I wasn't able to gain this new perspective until I looked back into my adolescent years to examine the origins of my "physical sexuality." It didn't take me long to realize the root of my intimacy issues-I always seemed to find a physical flaw on a woman that I was always able to use as justification for moving on to the next woman. You see, even though I had intercourse before discovering masturbation, I spent much more time as a teenager having sex with my right hand than with women. At that time, it was Betamax videocassettes and magazines that I masturbated to. When I look back I see how the masturbation patterns of my early years morphed into the relationship patterns of my later years. If I didn't like something about the girl, I turned the page or hit the fast-forward button-just like I did with real women in real life! I have no doubt my experiences meeting these "fantasy girl" types through my career in the adult industry helped me see the light-their shit stinks just like mine and yours. There are no perfect fantasy girls out there waiting for you to ride up on your white horse. This was something I needed to realize before I was able to have a healthy, monogamous relationship with one woman. If I ever find myself reverting to old thought patterns, I remind myself of my sexual roots and then go stand in front of a mirror naked and give thanks for the woman who loves me despite my flat ass and flamingo legs!
Okay, now that you know more about me than my own mother, let me give you an idea of why I decided to write this book and who I wrote it for. I have received tens of thousands of letters and e-mails over the course of my career from both men and women asking for sexual advice. While the men asked many questions about their own performance and how it could be improved to better satisfy their partners, the women were asking me how they could get their men to be better lovers. It didn't take me long to figure out that 2+2=69 and there was a need for a book like this.
Yes, this is a book for men. It's about more than how to be a great lover. My goal is to help today's sexually active men (and those desiring to become more sexually active) not only survive, but thrive in this new millennium filled with hypocrisy and contradiction and bound by a set of ambiguous new rules. Let's face it, gentlemen, the times, they are a-changing! Between the media, women, and the competitive nature of man, there is more pressure placed on men to excel sexually and romantically than ever before. The fact is, male and female sexual behaviors are becoming increasingly similar. Women are much more comfortable today, even encouraged to discuss their sexual conquests, desires, and fantasies, and the sexual prowess of their lovers-with other women and especially in the media.
Women are now becoming empowered through their sexuality and it is up to you as a man to keep yourself in the game. Refining your sexual skills is certainly a step in the right direction, and I will go into great depth to help you achieve this. However, to me, the quickest way to become a legitimate "player" whom women are drawn to, whom women can give their respect and admiration to-something they naturally crave giving their man-is through the acquisition of knowledge. In my opinion, this is the only way for men to combat this change in sexual behavioral patterns (which is most certainly a psychological reaction by women to centuries of male dominance in and outside the bedroom, combined with the rise of the gay community and the recent emergence of the metrosexual). You really can't blame women for wanting to experience the same feelings of power and pleasure that men have enjoyed forever. You can't blame them for feeling neglected and shortchanged sexually. You can't blame them for getting frustrated because they only have orgasms 29 percent of the times they have sex. You can't blame them for not just wanting any man, but wanting "the man." Modern women might talk of enjoying the challenge of "taming" a man, but they still desire a man to be king of their jungle! Literally, there are many women who will go their entire lives without being fucked properly, and I believe it is our duty as men to try to put an end to this injustice . . . can I get an amen!
Instead of laying blame and lamenting societal changes, you need to understand what's happening and educate yourself about women and all things having to do with male/female sexuality. Trying to understand how women think (good luck!) and learning how their bodies work-even more importantly, how your partner thinks and how her body works-is critical. Reading this book is a great start, but you shouldn't consider it an endpoint. Reading "women's magazines" and visiting "women's Web sites," no matter how painful it may sound, is a great way to continue your education and better your understanding. Written by women, specifically for women-can you think of better places to gain insight on women, especially their perspective on men and sexuality?
Your job will be to absorb as much knowledge as possible from this book, as knowledge is the key and common ingredient in the formula for success of the world's most accomplished men, both inside the bedroom and out. The formula is as follows:
Knowledge=power+self-confidencePower+self-confidence=the ultimate aphrodisiac
Gonzo is a filming style of adult movies that attempts to place the viewer directly into the action. This is accomplished with the extensive use of the POV perspective-the cameraman actually participates in the sex scene while filming or by having the performers communicate directly into the camera to the viewer.
This doesn't just apply to an increase in sexual attention from the opposite sex. When applied to matters of everyday life, it could mean the difference between getting that job you want or not, your ability to close the "big deal" or not, whether or not you get that raise you feel you deserve.Like I said, this is not just a book about sex, it's about women-listening to what they say and understanding what they want. It's about the human body and how it functions sexually and physiologically. Most importantly, it's about you and how to improve your personal and sexual relationships with women.
I have crammed every bit of pertinent sexual information I have learned over the last thirty years, from the day I lost my virginity, a ninety-second encounter that triggered my voracious sexual appetite and dedicated curiosity, to the day I put the last word to paper in this book. By the time you finish reading that last word, you will be ready to rock any woman's world.