Ron Jeremy: The Life and Times of a Porn Starby Ron Jeremy
He's the porn world's Everyman. Blessed with an enormous "talent" yet average looks, he's starred in more than 1,700 adult films, directed 250 of them, and over the last twenty years has become porn's biggest ambassador to the mainstream. He's appeared in 60 regular films, 14 music videos, and VH1's Surreal Life, starred in the critically acclaimed/em>
He's the porn world's Everyman. Blessed with an enormous "talent" yet average looks, he's starred in more than 1,700 adult films, directed 250 of them, and over the last twenty years has become porn's biggest ambassador to the mainstream. He's appeared in 60 regular films, 14 music videos, and VH1's Surreal Life, starred in the critically acclaimed Porn star (a movie about his life), and in Being Ron Jeremy (a take off on Being John Malkovich), co-starring Andy Dick. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. . . .
Ron Jeremy is a born storyteller (funny, considering he doesn't do a lot of talking in his films). He knows where all the bodies are buried, and in this outrageous autobiography he not only shows you the grave but also gives you the back story on the tombstone. Get ready for Ron Jeremy—a scandalously entertaining deep insider's view of the porn industry and its emergence into popular culture, and a delectable self-portrait of the amazingly endowed Everyman every man wanted to be.
- HarperCollins Publishers
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Ron JeremyThe Hardest (Working) Man in Showbiz
By Ron Jeremy
HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.Copyright © 2007 Ron Jeremy
All right reserved.
Portrait of a Hedgehog as a Young Man
There are two stories involving my birth that may very well tell you everything you need to know about me.
I was born on March 12, 1953, in Bayside, Queens. As my father remembers it, my mother didn't experience much in the way of contraction pains. She just woke him up in the middle of the night, calmly announced that it was time, and had him drive her to the hospital. After the doctors wheeled her into the delivery room, I plopped out less than a half hour later. It was as simple as that. No epidural was necessary. My mother didn't even need to push. I did most of the work. I knew that it was time, and I just . . . came out.
"Oh," she apparently said. "That was it?"
I like to think that I just wanted to cause my mom as little physical discomfort as possible, but my dad has a different theory. "You were in a hurry to get out," he's told me. "You knew you had things to do, and you didn't want to stick around in the womb any longer than was necessary."
The other story took place later that morning, just a few hours after my shotgun delivery. My mother was taken to a private room to rest and recover. Though it was an altogether effortless birth, she was still feeling a little groggy; the doctors had injected her with too much anesthesia, havinganticipated a birth at least slightly longer than a sneeze. But she was conscious enough to overhear a pair of nurses talking in the next room, where they were bathing me and getting a first glance at my unusual physical gifts.
"Good Lord," one of them muttered. "Would you look at that kid's penis?"
"It's pretty big," the other said. "And on a baby, no less."
The nurses giggled nervously. If they had any idea that my mother was listening, they certainly didn't let on.
"Well, he's a very lucky boy," one of them concluded.
And that, as the dramatists like to say, is what you call foreshadowing. Even as an infant, I was an impatient little fucker. And I had a bigger schmeckel than most guys my age and older.
If there's a better indication of the man I was to become, I don't know what it is.
Doing a cartwheel out of my mom's womb was just the beginning. Most of my infancy was spent trying to escape the boring inactivity of babyhood. I just couldn't sit still for it. During the first few months of my life, my parents would put me in a crib and quietly leave the room after I'd fallen asleep. But within a matter of minutes, they'd hear loud thumping sounds, and they'd come in to find me banging my head against the crib, like an irate prison inmate desperate for freedom. On some nights, they'd catch me crawling the crib's walls, literally balancing on the edges, teetering dangerously close to falling off.
At one month, I was already crawling. From what I understand, that's not just unusual, it's a little bit freaky. Most children don't start crawling until between seven and ten months. Me, I couldn't wait that long. My parents were obviously thrilled that I was such a quick learner, but they also couldn't help but wonder, Just where the hell does he think he's going, anyway? No sooner did they place me on the floor than I started scampering toward the door, as if I thought I was already late for some long overdue appointment.
My youth was almost unreasonably happy. I had parents who loved and supported me, siblings whom I adored and who never failed to be my closest allies, and a neighborhood that was like something out of a Norman Rockwell painting. In Bayside, most of us lived in semidetached, private homes no more than a few feet apart. You could look out of your living room window to see the family next door having dinner. It was like the entire neighborhood lived in the same apartment complex. It may sound like hell if you have a thing for privacy, but for me, it was pure bliss.
My memories of growing up often involve lazy afternoons at the Alley Pond Park, playing stickball and basketball in the street; family trips to Manhattan to visit the museums and zoos; and bike trips over to Springfield Boulevard to have a slice and a Coke for 25 cents at Joe's Pizza. I could roam free without my parents worrying, and enjoy the kind of freedom that most kids today can scarcely imagine. I still look back on it as some of the best days of my life.
But despite my idyllic upbringing, I didn't exactly take life at a leisurely pace. If anything, I was a lightning bolt of energy. I was constantly telling jokes or putting on impromptu shows for the neighbors. I'd dress up in my father's clothing and parade in front of anyone who so much as set foot in our house. I needed to be the center of attention at all times, and I'd do just about anything to ensure that it'd happen.
By the time I started attending Nathaniel Hawthorne Junior High, I was already pegged as the class clown. This delighted my schoolmates, but for the poor saps who were unfortunate enough to be my teachers, it proved endlessly frustrating. It was bad enough that I had the attention span of a gnat, but given my determination to be the most entertaining person in the room, I was the living incarnation of every teacher's worst nightmare.
It should come as no surprise that I was sent to the principal's office on an almost weekly basis. I was there so often that I was soon on a first-name basis with the school secretaries. I was scolded, threatened with detentions, and told that I was putting my scholastic future in jeopardy. But this only added fuel to the fire, and my class disruptions continued.
Excerpted from Ron Jeremy by Ron Jeremy Copyright © 2007 by Ron Jeremy. Excerpted by permission.
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Meet the Author
Ron Jeremy is an internationally acclaimed actor, stand-up comedian, classically trained pianist, accred-ited special education teacher, and renowned college lecturer. In his spare time, he's also starred in roughly two thousand adult films, including award-winning performances in Suzie Superstar and All the Way In! He lives in California.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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In reading this i have mixed feelings. There are a lot of things Ron does not address,such as the emotional toll the porn business takes on family members or in relationships or the devastating effects the swingers' lifestyle has on families which i have seen friends experience in that lifestyle. Broken marriages, abused children, and much,much more. He also does not address the criminal undercurrent that accompanies porn and the swingers' lifestyle, such as blackmail and such. As much as pleasure as he has gotten, i got feeling he has suffered much abuse by people in the business and by 'friends'. It is quite surprising how much he has accomplished in areas outside of porn, such as music (pianist/violinist), education(Masters degree) and the martial arts(by the way,Ron-- what style of Kung Fu did you get a brown belt?). The reader might wonder why law enforcement was so after he and others in the business if it was as innocent as he makes it sounds. Ron does not address what backgrounds porn stars come from generally nor what has happened to many famous stars after they leave the business.It might be very interesting to find out what happened to such hot women (to me, anyway!!) as:Alyssa Jareau,Tiffany Minx,Lili Marlene, Nadia Nyce,Cumisha Amado,Seka,Ashley Shye,Leanna Fox,Tanya Fox,Mai Lin,Lee Carroll and many more! Do these people simply retire into obscurity? What happens to them? Ron also does not talk about how difficult it is for a man to break into heterosexual adult porn(this is where Jenna Jameson' book fills in the gaps) nor whether there was heavy gay/bisexual community pressure or intimidation or what happens if a women does become pregnant in the process of making a film? Still, this was a funny,entertaining read filled with a lot of information of interest to those who have enjoyed adult movies and for which the moral jury is still out. And how easy or difficult is it for porn stars to go legit and pursue a more conventional career, say in business? Is there a lot of non-industry discrimination?
This book gives a great deal of insight to what it takes to be in the porn start and what he did before breaking into the business of porn.
This book is just an honest look at one man's struggle to achieve a dream. While he may not be a huge mainstream star, he none the less regrets his life and lives it to what he considers its fullest...nothing wrong with that.