Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls

Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls

4.1 10
by Tellulah Darling
     
 

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Why the hell can't chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn't change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam's best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around

Overview

Why the hell can't chicks be more like guys?

That question plagues high school senior Sam Cruz. Sam is perfectly happy being a player. He just wishes girls wouldn't change the game from sex to relationships. It makes him look like an asshole. But when Sam's best friend, Ally Klinger, gets dumped, she begs him to transform her into someone who can screw around then screw off. No risk of heartbreak that way. It's Sam's chance to create the perfect female AND cheer up his best friend. Armed with Sam's Three Step Guide to Backseat Success, Ally gets the game better than Sam thought she would and before long, Sam has his wish: the female version of himself. Too bad it's driving him nuts. Told from Sam's and Ally's alternating POVs, Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fast-paced romantic comedy that follows these teens as they navigate the minefield of sex, love, and friendship. This book contains strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of "bow chicka wow wow."

Product Details

ISBN-13:
2940015538915
Publisher:
Te Da Media
Publication date:
10/01/2012
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
244
Sales rank:
566,572
File size:
742 KB

Meet the Author

Tellulah Darling
noun

1) YA novelist
2) Alter ego of a professional screenwriter and instructor
3) Sassy Minx

Geeks out over: cool tech.
Squees for: great storytelling.
Delights in: fabulous conversation.

Writes about: where love meets comedy, flavored with pop culture. Awkwardness ensues.

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Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
jukelley More than 1 year ago
3.5 starts This is a YA story, though definitely not for young teens. It does deal with teenage sex and lots of it, but not in a descriptive way. I thought it was cute, funny, and quick to read. It took me about 4 hours from start to finish and made me lol in a number of places. It's also a stand alone, which is a nice change from most things I've read lately. I was looking for something light and uplifting after the last book I read, and this fit the bill perfectly. I enjoyed having a heroine who was smart and, by the end of the story, confident in herself. I really liked knowing that Ally would be fine, no matter if Sam came around or not. She wasn't a ditzy, clutzy girl, just an average geeky girl who decided to change herself to keep from being hurt again. In the end, she grows as a person and learns about who she is and who she wants to be. If you are looking for a serious story with serious subject matter, this really isn't for you. However, if you want pure entertainment written as if a teenager truly were telling the story, I think you'll enjoy this as much as I did. I enjoyed it enough that I will definitely read other books by the author.
kimberlyfaye More than 1 year ago
After falling head-over-heels in love with Tellulah Darling, her writing and the first two books in The Blooming Goddess Trilogy, I was beyond excited to read this one! More than anything, I was excited to see how Tellulah wrote realistic fiction. The verdict: very well and with the wit I appreciated so much in her fantasy books.  This book felt really honest to me. Yes, the characters were horndogs. They were crass. But you know what? Teenagers are horndogs and they are crass. (Yeah, yeah, I know not ALL of them are. Totally generalizing here.) I can see where some of the language might be off-putting to some people, but I definitely wasn't one of them. I thought it was refreshing. The best part? It was all done with the humor and snark I have come to expect from Tellulah's books.  Was this book predictable? Sure. Did I care? No. Not one little bit. I loved reading about Ally's struggles to be a player (playette?). Given her character and her history, it was completely unnatural for her. It was awkward and awesome. Add Sam's dirty mind and evolving feelings for Ally to the mix and I was completely hooked. For all the humor and sex, this book also brought a heavy dose of friendship and heart (and a wee bit of angst) to the table. I loved the characters, flawed as they were. Even though I had a pretty strong feeling where the whole thing would wind up, I had no way of knowing how exactly it would get there. I found myself completely wrapped up in Ally and Sam's world, their drama, and I couldn't put the book down. I'm completely enamored with Tellulah Darling's books and I can't wait to read more from her I received a copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. 
erinlee20 More than 1 year ago
So a few people I know were tweeting/talking about this book so I was super happy when I received a copy. Sam is a player and best friends with Ally who is a self-proclaimed geek. When Ally's boyfriend of 2 years breaks up with her, she asks Sam to teach her how to be more like him. I loved the switching point of views as it gave both sides of how the story progressed without creating a lot of repetition. One of the great things about this story was the way the relationship changed between Sam and Ally. I liked the main characters and yes, even Sam. He was up front and honest about what he was willing to give and only as roles were reversed did he start to realize how lonely a life it was. The secondary characters (Rachel, Ian, Etienne, etc.) were great too. The fact that there are Angel/Buffy/Spike references in this book along side Pinky and the Brain only made it that much better. I enjoyed the dialogue and thought it added to the interactions between all of the characters. I liked this book and it was a fairly quick read. Also a good sign - I didn't really want to put it down.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
iheartyabooks More than 1 year ago
Sam Cruz's Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is hilariously funny. Sam won me right from the start. I know, he's a player, but at least with Sam a girl knows what she getting into... an incredible, one night hook-up, and a “don't call me in the morning.” Sam has six rules he lives by when it comes to getting a girl, and he’s even changed rule number three to make it simpler for the girl: "Friends with benefits" becomes, “forget the friend part and just get the benefit.” His best friend Ally doesn't get his bedroom benefits because Sam doesn't mix pleasure with friendship. This story is told from both Sam and Ally's POV, which I love. Tellulah Darling has written a great guy's take on getting girls. I love Sam's Mr. Big Stuff attitude. But as the saying goes: “the bigger they are, the harder they fall”, and when Ally’s heart gets broken by her jerk-off boyfriend, Ally figures Sam has a good thing going with his love 'em and leave 'em attitude. I love Ally. She is one girl who learns the game well to get what she wants. Ally out plays the player, and I love her for being a smart girl. Sam's golden rule is “Hit 'em with a killer charm offensive, rock the pleasure palace, and everyone gets respected in the morning.” The rule is working great until Ally becomes his student. After teaching Ally relationships are only about hooking up, and love is for losers, Sam breaks his own rule: No sex with his best friend. Now, Mr. Big Stuff is going down fast and hard. Even thou Sam Cruz' Infallible Guide to Getting Girls is a fun take on sex and you do need a sense of humor to take it in stride, I recommend it as fantastic read, because at the end, Sam has to look at life's truths, and Tellulah Darling gives a serious lesson learned for Sam. So yes, I definitely recommend Sam and Ally’s hilarious funny, touch-your-heart romance as a must read!
RaeLynn_Fry More than 1 year ago
Content Rating: R for “strong language, drinking, euphemisms, and lots of "’bow chicka wow wow’” Coffee Beans: 4.5 Cover Appeal: So awesome it’s beyond words Instalove Factor: None Spoliers: No Holy hell. Was this book funny! I’m not talking, “Yeah, I cracked a smile a few times” funny, but “I laughed out loud and got strange looks from strangers” funny. Like, on every page. I loved the hilarious banter between Ally and Sam. Their one liners and inside jokes. The scenes and situations that Tellulah wrote I could picture in my head at every second, which made the hilarity of what was going on even more real. I mean, this should be a movie. Granted, it probably wouldn’t be appropriate for the kiddos out there because of all the bow chicka wow wow. So, here’s my warning to you about this book if you’re thinking about reading it: If you go into this with the mindset that this is supposed to be some serious, profound book, you’re going to be disappointed. Possibly even disgusted. But, if you go into this book with the mindset of “it is what it is”, you’ll appreciate what Ally’s trying to do and Sam’s struggle with turning his best friend into himself. That’s how I was able to enjoy this book as much as I did and read it in less than a day. The book, obviously, is about sex. And while that’s a vulgar topic for a YA book to be about, Tellulah does it in a way that somehow, is completely un-vulgar. She has mad skill in the dialogue department and the setup of the relationship between Ally and Sam right from the beginning. I think it’s because alternating chapters are told from either Sam or Ally’s POV. Which was also a problem I had with this book. There were several times I thought I was reading Ally’s POV only to remember it was Sam’s head I was in. Talk about confusing. The only other thing I had an issue with, was when a certain secret was spilled, suddenly everyone knew, but the author never showed that. It just all of a sudden, was. I especially enjoyed the relationship development between Ally and Sam. Given their history and backgrounds, the pace in which the evolution happened was totally believable. Especially the end. Which I won’t spoil for you. Some funny lines: “Yo, fry Ninja, step down.” --Ally “Monkey humping credit card baller,” I mutter. “I don’t think so.” --Sam “Having just gushed like chicks in a tampon commercial, I feel I need to get this speech back on a more manly track. ‘So deal with it.’ There. Balls back.” --Sam I want you to go and read it for yourself, laugh until your sides hurt and you get cautious looks from strangers, and then pass the book on to a friend. Now. Like, seriously. Happy reading, my friends!
AlwaysYAatHeart1 More than 1 year ago
OMG, I have to say I loved this book. It is hilarious. Sam Cruz is a player. He lives and plays by "The Rules," aka "Sam's Infallible Guide." Sam is hot, and he knows it, and he is looking for nothing more than quick lay. Ally Klinger is a brain and a bit of a nerd, quite a bit lacking in the fashion and looks department, but she's got a great personality. Sam and Ally are best friends, and have been since they were little kids. They click, fitting together like peanut butter and jelly, and can practically finish each others sentences. When these two get together, it's a hoot. When Ally gets dumped by her nerdy boyfriend Jeremy, she ends up asking Sam to help make her into a female version of himself. Sam eventually agrees to help make her into what he thinks is the "perfect female." He teaches her "all the tricks of the trade, the ins and outs (pun intended), of what it takes to be a player. Ally gets a makeover, and as it turns out, she is absolutely beautiful. When she starts getting all the guys attention, and learns how to put what she's learned into practice, Sam isn't so sure he likes this after all.....a little jealous maybe......or has Sam created a monster, or better yet, a female he can't tame. Sam and Ally's friendship takes a somewhat different turn, and Sam isn't sure he wants to go down this road, especially when Ally starts acting like him, with him, and their friendship is put to the test. This is a quick, fast-paced read, and I absolutely loved it. It is funny, super sexy, and completely entertaining. Ally is hilarious. I really loved her character. I loved Sam to. He and Ally's relationship is great. Their dialogues are witty and they are so funny together, talking about anything and everything, and most of the time making jokes about it that only the two of them truly get. They have very blunt discussions about sex, and their is quite a bit of foul language and jokes, so be prepared. These two don't make the best choices, and when they are faced with what's been right in front of them the whole time, they have to make a decision that will effect their relationship forever. I loved this romantic comedy. I had so many laugh out loud moments my husband thought I was crazy. There were also some sweet tender moments mixed it. If you don't mind the language and sex jokes, you'll love it. If you do mind, then this book is probably not be for you.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago