Sass & Serendipityby Jennifer Ziegler
For Gabby, nothing ever works out positively. Wearing any form of makeup is a waste of study time, and boys will only leave you heartbroken.
For Daphne, the glass is always half full. A situation is better managed with a dab of lip gloss, and the boy of her dreams—the one she's read about in all of her novels—is waiting for her just around the corner.
For Gabby, nothing ever works out positively. Wearing any form of makeup is a waste of study time, and boys will only leave you heartbroken. Her best friend, Mule, is the only one who has been there for her every step of the way.
But when the richest boy in school befriends Gabby, and Daphne starts to hang out more and more with her best friend, Mule, Gabby is forced to confront the emotional barriers she has put up to stop the hurting. And for once, her sassiness may fall prey to her definition of stupidity.
Billed as a retelling of Jane Austen's Sense and Sensibility but reading more like "sisters on the verge of a nervous breakdown," this potentially buoyant comic novel sinks under the weight of its unwieldy high concept.
Dad's departure, leaving Mom to cope on a small salary without child support, turned Gabby, 17, into a grumpily dutiful misanthrope who's given up on love. She helps at home, works a miserable job and studies hard, then vents her frustrations on her irresponsible sister and faithful, torch-bearing Mule. Hiding a secret, Gabby repeatedly rejects overtures from handsome, wealthy Prentiss, who's gone out of his way to help her family. At the other pole of emotional dysfunction, immature and self-centered Daphne, 15, carries her fantasies of finding true love with a boy she's barely met to scary extremes. Ziegler's affectionate portrait of small-town Texas life and sharply observed secondary characters, such as Sheri who "always gave compliments as if she were complaining," bring the story to intermittent life. With their intense emotions permanently set to 11, though, the exasperating sisters have little in common with Elinor and Marianne. Austen's attention, humor and insight weren't given to deep emotions in themselves, but to how we govern them—and what happens when we don't.
Readers are advised to stick to the original. (Fiction. 12 & up)
Read an Excerpt
The dress in the window of Shelly's Boutique was not a tasteful pink. It was an unnatural, overly shiny, shout-in-your-face pink. Barbie-aisle pink. Putrid-antidiarrhea-medicine pink. Slutty-disco-queen-on-LSD pink.
Or, as the residents of Barton, Texas (population 5,853), would probably refer to it: hawt pank.
Gabriella Rivera automatically curled her upper lip--making her tilde mouth, as her mother liked to call the expression--and muttered, "God, look at that. When did hooker fashions become formal wear?"
Mule quit slurping down his sixty-four-ounce Dr Pepper and shrugged. "What do you expect? It's prom season."
"It is not prom season," Gabby replied. "It is the middle of March. I barely survived the big Valentine's freak-out without throwing myself off a cliff. Now I have to see this crap everywhere for two months?" She gestured toward the display window.
Mule considered the dresses while continuing to sip from his near-empty soda cup, making loud squelching noises through the straw.
"Besides, prom shouldn't even be a season," Gabby went on. "Not like a holiday season or flu season. It's just a dumb party."
"So? It's not like you're going anyway," Mule pointed out. He stuck the straw back into his mouth and sucked noisily. Gabby resisted the urge to grab the monster-sized drink out of his hand and chuck it at his head. She imagined the crushed ice scattered about his brown curls, glistening like jewels, and the weak soda residue spattering his white T-shirt with the faded Captain America image on the front.
She didn't know why she was so annoyed with him today. His know-it-all tone was getting on her nerves even more than usual. Maybe it was because school had been extra-infuriating that day, with everyone shrieking about prom. Or maybe it was the fact that she had to go to her lame job at the lame movie theater in half an hour.
Or maybe it was because her dad was coming for a visit at the end of the week, just like he did every third Saturday of the month. A stale routine of dinner and some sort of god-awful bonding ritual in the form of cheap entertainment--like bowling or minigolf.
Or maybe it was because she knew her younger sister would be an off-the-charts lunatic this weekend. Daphne was usually late and unprepared. But when Dad came she'd spend hours trying on different outfits (tossing her rejects on the floor between their beds) and then sit on the porch waiting for him a half hour early--completely insensitive to their mom's feelings. It had to sting seeing your daughter make a big gushy deal over your deadbeat ex, but did Daphne care? No. Watching her squeal and bounce over his arrival, you'd think he was rescuing her from the clutches of an ogre.
Basically everything in Gabby's life sucked right now. So she really didn't want to hear Mule's actual sucking sounds.
"But don't you hate all this romantic bull?" she went on, hoping to drown out the noise with her own voice. "It's even worse than Valentine's Day. Instead of cheap, five-dollar crap everywhere, there's like chintzy, three-hundred-dollar crap everywhere."
"I don't know," Mule said, making a neutral half smile, half grimace. "It doesn't bother me too much. I figure, as long as they don't make me go, I'm okay with it."
Gabby sighed. Of course he would just accept it. Mule accepted everything stupid and horrible in life. Including his rotten nickname.
Seventeen years ago, for some strange reason, every woman who gave birth to a boy in Fayette Memorial Hospital had named her son Samuel. Four boys--all in the same grade. By the end of elementary school it was all sorted out, though. Samuel Milburn got to be Sam, since he was the biggest and coolest--and he basically claimed it first. Samuel Farnsworth, the next coolest (and most spastic), got to be Sammy. And Samuel Moore got to stay Samuel. That left a skinny, half-Jewish wiseass named Samuel Randolph with nothing but the second syllable to set him apart from the others. Thus the moniker Mule was bestowed upon him, and since none of the other Samuels had had the decency to move away, die, or get a sex change, he'd had to keep it throughout his school career.
"What's the theme again?" Mule asked.
"This year's prom theme. What is it?"
Gabby made her eyes big and dumb-looking. "A Walk in the Clouds," she said breathily.
Mule snorted. "Sounds impractical. Why not call it Bird Crap on My Tuxedo? Or Bugs in My Teeth?"
"A 747 Ruined My Hair!" Gabby mock screeched, grabbing her long, dark waves.
The two of them laughed and pantomimed some more, hooking elbows and flapping their free arms. It was supersilly and totally juvenile, but Gabby didn't care. At least she got a good laugh in before work.
Mule was always good for that--when he wasn't being annoying.
Ms. Manbeck was going to lose it.
Daphne Rivera raced down the corridor from the gymnasium, through a pair of squeaky metal doors, and up the stairs to the 200 wing. The skirt of her JV cheerleading uniform swished rhythmically about her legs and her ponytail swung in an almost complete circle.
She was dead. Ms. Manbeck would surely kill her in some slow, torturous way. This would be Daphne's third tardy this grading period, and her teacher was going to shriek nonstop. She'd probably do that weird twitchy thing, the one that made it look as if her face were being sucked backward into her left eye socket. She might even call Daphne's mom.
That was all Daphne needed. Her mom had been so stressed lately about the bills and her job. If she got a screechy phone call from Ms. Manbeck, she'd start handing out punishments as if they were Halloween candy--a you-should-know-better-young-lady lecture . . . grounding . . . cell phone confiscation . . . and . . . Oh, god! She might change her mind about letting Daphne go to prom this year!
From the Hardcover edition.
Meet the Author
JENNIFER ZIEGLER is the author of Alpha Dog and How Not to be Popular. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her family.
From the Hardcover edition.
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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Gabby Rivera and her younger sister Daphne live in Barton, Texas - one of those small towns where everyone knows everyone else. Gabby wants nothing more than to finish out her senior year and get as far away from this ridiculous place as possible. She hates being completely and utterly responsible for everything. She's the dutiful daughter who takes care of her mother and tries to help her pay the bills, because the family is financially in trouble ever since Dad up and walked away and doesn't pay child support. Gabby is also the girl who can't stand the boys and girls in her class because they are basically morons. The only friend she has is "Mule" - a quiet young man who is used to putting up with her grumbling, mumbling ways. Gabby is so tired of her sister getting away with murder.the girl doesn't seem to have to do anything in life and Gabby is sick of it! Daphne, of course, is the exact opposite. Daphne believes in fairy-tale romances, love at first sight, and she loves her dad's visits no matter what. She simply doesn't care that he doesn't pay - he's her absolute hero. Daphne is what Gabby calls one of the 'morons;' she is part of the JV cheerleading squad and doesn't seem to realize that she needs to get a job and help out the family. She's so tired of Gabby being the prettier one, the smarter one, the one Mom likes.and Daphne wants to find a way to fit into the world by living 'happily ever after.' Running late for class, again, Daphne runs directly into a young man in the school hallway. Luke is a new kid and Daphne immediately sees him as the man waiting for her down the aisle as she floats toward him in a white wedding dress. Luke reads romance novels, he's shy and kind, and Daphne simply can't wait to become his girlfriend. Unfortunately, Daphne doesn't realize that Luke has his own fears when it comes to being the new kid, and may not be the Prince Charming Daphne thinks he is. Gabby now has to put up with her sister who's once again stuck in her "dreamy world." After seeing Mom and Dad, Gabby doesn't believe in love. The only time she even experienced anything like it, she was a young girl at 13, and met up with a boy named Sonny in the town's park. Of course, that's all just a memory now. Mom tells Gabby that they're about to get kicked out of their home. They find a place to live - a caretaker's cottage beside a manor house - where a boy Gabby blames for quite a bit lives with his rich family. Not only must Gabby deal with her sister, her job, school, grades, but now she has to see the boy who she believes may have wrecked her life so long ago. This is a wonderful story that will remind many who have that sister, how hard it is to grow up beside the "perfect one." As any sibling - young or old - will see in this fun, high-spirited novel, no life is ever perfect, and the sister you literally can't stand will always be the one you defend and support. In other words, YOU can ruin your sister's life, but NO ONE else can. After all, you've earned the right, haven't you? Quill Says: This is a warm, entertaining story with a whole lot of heart!
Yea thats it. Sounds good tho
This book was a classic spin to a classic novel. I loved ever page of this book. Andi am so just like gabby
You know, I've never fully understood my little sister's mentality but this book opened up that big looming door for me. And now that i see where she is coming from i can honestlsay that i never hated her in the first place i just never bothered to be a proper big sister. I'll do that from now on, i promise.
A wondeful read, great for anyone.
I just love how an author can take a classic and make it in to something new. I really loved diving into this book and how it was the same yet different. The plot line is good. I really how how even though the point of view switched up a lot, you can right away tell which sister it is. I loved how the author made these two sisters so different. Gabby, I loved her and really connected with her. I connected with her because I am just like her. Growing up with a single mother with 2 other siblings, I had to grow up fast. Gabby had to be the responsible one and help her mother out. She understood as such a young age, the responsibility that she carried on her shoulders. Daphne is just a free girl. It may seems at times that she think of only herself, but she is a young teenager and should be one. I really like how Ms. Ziegler incorporate a real life issue in the book. Ms. Ziegler really did a great job in capturing the voice of two very different teenage girls. It was so good, that even I found myself laughing free with Daphne or getting responsible with Gabby. I like that Ms. Zieger took the reader into the world with her writing and let you be in the characters shoes. My only gripe was the love interest. I am a sucker for romance, so it did disappoint me with how the love interest went. I was hoping for it to go a different way, but in the end, I am glad that both sisters can be happy. Sass and Serendipity with a great classical read. Filled with lots of drama, romance, an d great writing, there is nothing like it to read. The Rivera sisters will have you by the heart from the very first page.