Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude & Attitude for a Polite Planet

by Sara Hacala

Overview

Is bad behavior the new normal? How do we change it?

"Each of us has the power to make the planet a more hospitable, pleasant, caring, and safe place to live.... It starts with respecting others and recognizing their right to be here. Saving Civility is about how we contribute to society and work together—locally and globally—with greater respect, awareness, understanding, and acceptance of one another. A polite planet embodies a worldview of a civilized society—one that is enlightened and empathetic."
—from the Introduction

Cyberbullying, hostile and polarizing political infighting, and tasteless and tactless behavior may be on the rise, but it doesn't have to be this way. Sara Hacala, a certified etiquette and protocol consultant, offers a definitive look at what civility means and how it can change the nature of everyday interaction. She goes beyond a superficial discussion of proper manners to present civility as a mind-set that encompasses values and attitudes that help you embrace your connections to others and repair society. Tapping the wisdom of ancient spiritual luminaries as well as the latest social science research, she provides fifty-two practical ways you can reverse the course of incivility and make the world a more enriching, pleasant place to live.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781594733147
Publisher:	TURNER PUB CO
Publication date:	08/01/2011
Pages:	240
Product dimensions:	6.00(w) x 8.90(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Sara Hacala, a frequent speaker around the United States on the topic of civility, is president of Sara Hacala & Associates LLC, which provides full-service training and seminars in all aspects of business etiquette, manners and civility for corporate personnel, university students and individuals. She is author of Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude and Attitude for a Polite Planet. She also works in high schools with "at-risk" students, teaching vital interpersonal skills to help them access the business arena and increase their opportunities for success. A world traveler and consummate hostess, she is a graduate of the Protocol School of Washington.

Table of Contents

Introduction

The Rise of Rude, Crude, and Attitude

How We're All Part of the Problem 1

How Rude Can You Be? 5

The Disconnect 10

Incivility Bites 22

The Polite Planet Action Guide

How You Can Be Part of the Solution

1 Know Who You Are 35

2 Live in the Present Moment 38

3 Smile 41

4 See Yourself as Others See You 45

5 Sharpen Your Social Antenna 48

6 Respect the Boundaries of Others 51

7 Listen Up 55

8 Discern the Right Meaning 59

9 Strike a Tone 61

10 Recognize the Power of Words 64

11 Hold Your Tongue 68

12 Resist Rhetoric 72

13 Disagree Agreeably 75

14 Keep a Negotiation on Track 79

15 Don't Burn Bridges 82

16 Set Your Moral Compass 84

17 Build Trust 86

18 Strive for Truth 89

19 Take the High Road 92

20 Laugh at Least Once a Day 94

21 Just Be Nice! 98

22 Cultivate Optimism 101

23 Embrace Kindness 105

24 Live Generously 108

25 Practice Gratitude 113

26 Embody Enough 117

27 Adapt Adeptly 122

28 Practice Patience 125

29 Drive Gently on the Road 128

30 Pick Your Battles Wisely 131

31 Remember What Your Mother Taught You 133

32 Teach Your Children Well 136

33 Bring Back the Magic 140

34 Mind Your Cybermanners 143

35 Time It Right 146

36 Delight Your Host, Please Your Guest 149

37 Dress to Fit 153

38 Apologize 156

39 Learn to Forgive 161

40 Celebrate Diversity 165

41 Travel Often and Well 168

42 Consider Your Fellow Travellers 172

43 Practice Nonviolence 174

44 Judge Not Thy Neighbor 176

45 Play Fair and Everyone Wins 178

46 Put All Hands on Deck 180

47 Choose Your Heroes Wisely 183

48 Enhance Your Likeability 186

49 Work at Workplace Civility 189

50 Grow a Very Big Heart 193

51 Reel in What's Real 198

52 Plant a Seed 200

A Call to Action

Plea for a Polite Planet 205

Acknowledgments 213

Notes 217

References 223

Editorial Reviews

"Insightful … goes beyond platitudes about the importance of treating one another with respect to practical, everyday advice…. An important resource guide for work, home and travel…. An appeal to the spirit, and a call for compassion and grace."
—Kerry Kennedy, president, Robert F. Kennedy Center for Justice and Human Rights

"In a cacophonous world increasingly made more unsettling by thoughtlessness, discourtesy and plain old-fashioned rudeness, Sara Hacala doesn't just moan about our modern boorishness, she shows us how we can start being more kind and gentle to one another.
—Frank Deford, NPR commentator and author

"[Illustrates how] respect, courtesy [and] consideration … can make a huge difference in your life and in the lives of those around you. Civility is not dead, and this book will help ensure it's here to stay!"
—Linda Kaplan Thaler, CEO and CCO,The Kaplan Thaler Group; best-selling author with Robin Koval,The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness

“A must read!... [To] treat people well with trust, dignity and respect … will never go out of fashion and has its own just rewards in the end."
—Jack Mitchell, CEO, Mitchell Family of Stores; best-selling author, Hug Your Customers and Hug Your People

“Ardent and persuasive…. Penetrating analysis about the dearth of polite conduct in our society … offers cogent solutions that are easy to understand and adopt…. Extensive research … adds impact and credibility to this much-needed antidote to our national malaise…. America needs this book!”
—Sybil Steinberg, former Publishers Weekly Forecasts editor

“Provide[s] an antidote [to incivility], a compendium of helpful suggestions for acting and communicating with civility in every phase of our lives.”
—Rev. Charles L. Currie, SJ, president, Association of Jesuit Colleges and Universityies

“A wonderful guide to building a culture of character and a challenge to all of us to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem…. A [delightful] how-to manual for living well and adding to the quality of the lives of everyone around us. Reading it makes you feel good about being a member of the human family.”
—Thomas Lickona, director, Center for the 4th and 5th Rs (Respect and Responsibility),
State Universityof New York; author, Character Matters

“Loaded with great practical strategies for living more civil, rewarding, richer lives…. Makes a compelling case for how individuals and society benefit from civility.”
—Christine Porath, professor, Georgetown University; coauthor, The Cost of Bad Behavior

“A wise and engaging discussion about the transformative powers of conduct, connectivity and cooperation. Packed full of practical ideas … offers small steps we can all take that can ultimately change our lives and our world.”
—Rev. Susan Sparks, senior pastor, Madison Avenue Baptist Church, New York City; author, Laugh Your Way to Grace: Reclaiming the Spiritual Power of Humor

“Chances are you need to read this book. We are losing our civility and with it our society. Sara Hacala just might be able to save both.”
—Rabbi Rami Shapiro, author, The Sacred Art of Lovingkindness: Preparing to Practice

“Commonsense simple … user friendly. I guarantee you'll adopt [these] methods and feel better for it.”
—Nelle Nugent, Broadway producer

“Compelling, inspiring and practical … concrete actions you can do today.”
—Tim Koller, partner, McKinsey & Company; author, Value: The Four Cornerstones of Corporate Finance

From the Publisher

Deeply disturbed by outlandish celebrity behavior, bullying, and the erosion of privacy, certified etiquette and protocol consultant Hacala responds with a guidebook to help counteract these trends and make the world a more civilized place. In a similar vein to Bruce Weinstein's Ethical Intelligence and Dale Carnegie & Associates' How To Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age (also reviewed here), this title emphasizes creating connections with other people. Hacala urges her readers to smile, listen to others, and respect their boundaries, while advising them to try to see themselves as others see them. She includes abundant examples and relevant quotations from well-known leaders. While Hacala's book will be of interest to readers in their teens and above, those who are incensed with reality TV celebrities and hostile radio hosts will find a kindred spirit.

Library Journal