Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated: Nine Questions to Ask Before---and After---You Remarry

Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated: Nine Questions to Ask Before---and After---You Remarry

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by Les and Leslie Parrott
     
 

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Complete with twenty-eight self tests—two of them brand-new—and a new group discussion guide, the expanded and updated Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts workbooks for men and women will help couples uncover and understand the unique shaping factors they bring into their second marriage both as men and women and as individuals. 

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Overview

Complete with twenty-eight self tests—two of them brand-new—and a new group discussion guide, the expanded and updated Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts workbooks for men and women will help couples uncover and understand the unique shaping factors they bring into their second marriage both as men and women and as individuals. 

Exercises and assignments will help couples identify and meld their love styles, face the myths of remarriage honestly, become soul mates, identify each person’s “hot topics,” and much more.

The discussion guide in each workbook integrates with the Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts DVD (sold separately and includes seven pre-marriage sessions plus two additional sessions specifically designed to help prepare couples for remarriage) to facilitate lively and eye-opening interaction. Each session links with the workbook exercises and concludes with exercises each couple can do together between each lesson.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780310875628
Publisher:
Zondervan
Publication date:
11/24/2015
Sold by:
Zondervan Publishing
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
144
File size:
2 MB

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Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated

Nine Questions to Ask Before â" and After â" You Remarry


By Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott

ZONDERVAN

Copyright © 2015 Les and Leslie Parrott
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-310-87562-8



CHAPTER 1

Exercise One

THE REMARRIAGE MOTIVATION TEST


On a scale of 1 to 10, rate how much of a factor each of the following motivators are for you to get married. Take time to consider each item, and be as honest as possible.

1. Love at first sight is a factor in why I'm ready to get married again.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

2. Rebounding from the pain of a previous marriage is a factor in my motivation for this second marriage.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

3. Rebellion against my ex-wife is a factor in my motivation.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

4. Loneliness contributes to my reasons for getting married again.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

5. A sense of obligation is a factor in motivating me to marry.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

6. Financial advancement is a part of my decision to get remarried.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

7. Sexual attraction is a factor driving me to get married at this time.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

8. Escape from an unhappy first marriage is causing me to want to get married again.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

9. Pressure from others has something to do with why I am getting married again.

Not at All True Extremely True of Me

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10


Scoring: Add up your score from each of the nine items. There are 90 possible points on this test. Add 10 to your score. If your score is 50 or less, you can rest easy in the fact that you are probably not getting remarried for some of the most common negative reasons. If your score is greater than 50, you will certainly want to do some soul-searching on your own and with your partner about the items that you ranked highest. We also strongly suggest talking about these motivators with an objective counselor.

CHAPTER 2

Exercise Two

THE REMARRIAGE READINESS QUESTIONNAIRE


If you have taken the SYMBIS Assessment (SYMBISassessment.

com), this particular exercise will look familiar. The SYMBIS Assessment Report presents the content of this exercise in a far more personalized format. If you're not using the SYMBIS Assessment, however, you will still benefit significantly from this workbook version of the exercise.

The following questions will help you assess your readiness for remarriage. Be ruthlessly honest with yourself while answering these questions.

1. Do you know who you are and do you like who you are?

2. Would you say you generally have a healthy sense of self-esteem and confidence?

3. Do you feel comfortable talking about your differences in times of conflict (rather than ignoring them)?

4. Are you twenty years of age or older?

5. Are you twenty-four years of age or older?

6. Would people you respect say you are personally mature?

7. Would you say you have resolved most of the ugly issues with your former wife?

8. Do you feel comfortable thinking for yourself and making your own decisions?

9. Are you able to make decisions without feeling compelled to please others?

10. Are you genuinely prepared to make your marriage relationship of utmost priority?

11. Have you resolved painful or other troubling issues with your past that are bound to impact your new marriage?

12. Have you identified specific quirks or qualities you may be bringing into your marriage as a result of your previous relationship?

13. Have you dated your partner for a year or more?

14. Have you dated your partner for two years or more?

15. Are you willing to take your time in determining whether your relationship is really ready for marriage?

16. Would you characterize your relationship as stable and steadfast?

17. Do you both practice compromise and negotiation effectively in your relationship?

18. Can you both resolve conflict between you without losing control?

19. Are you 100 percent committed, beyond a shadow of a doubt, to making this relationship work?

20. Do you fully agree with your partner's important goals and values?

21. Do you and your partner share many similarities (e.g., sense of humor, habits, goals)?

22. Are your differences tiny compared to your similarities?

23. Do you and your partner have similar family backgrounds?

24. Do you and your partner refrain from criticizing, correcting, or trying to "fix" each other?

25. Do you like this person as she is at this moment (as compared to expecting her to change)?


Scoring: Add up the number of yes responses from these items and multiply by four. That will give you a possible score of 100. If you answered honestly and your score is 90 or higher, your answers indicate you are probably ready for remarriage. A score of 80 to 89 indicates that you are on your way but would probably be wise to give it more time and careful counsel. A score of 79 or lower indicates that you still have a great deal of work to do before you are ready for remarriage. You are likely to benefit from the help of a good counselor and more time. Whether your score is high or low, this brief self-report assessment should serve simply as a guideline, not as the final answer.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Saving Your Second Marriage Before It Starts Workbook for Men Updated by Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott. Copyright © 2015 Les and Leslie Parrott. Excerpted by permission of ZONDERVAN.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Meet the Author

A psychologist and a marriage and family therapist, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott are founders of the Center for Relationship Development at Seattle Pacific University. Their bestselling books include Love Talk, Crazy Good Sex The Complete Guide to Marriage Mentoring, and the award-winning Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts. Their work has been featured in The New York Times and USA Today, and they have appeared on CNN, O’Reilly Factor, Good Morning America, Today Show, The View, and Oprah. They live with their two sons in Seattle. Visit LesandLeslie.com.

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