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You think your school's scary?
Get a load of these teachers:
Ms. Fang, an 850-year-old vampire
Dr. Dragonbreath, who just might eat you before recess
Mr. Snakeskin—science class is so much more fun when it's taught by someone who's half zombie
Mrs. T—break the rules and spend your detention with a hungry Tyrannosaurus rex!
Plus
Gargoyles, goblins, and Frankenstein's monster on the loose The world's most frighteningly delicious school lunch
And
The narrator's an eleven-year-old ghost!
Join Charles "New Kid" Nukid as he makes some very Scary friends—including Petunia, Johnny, and Peter the Wolf—and figures out that Scary School can be just as funny as it is spooky!
Kent takes school integration to a new level with breezy tales of "learning, horror, and mayhem" at a grade school attended by a mix of humans and monsters.
As narrated by a chem-class fatality, the school year kicks off with the near-total consumption of a fifth-grade class by its strict teacher, Dr. Dragonbreath, for not following Class Rule Number Five: "No student is allowed to read this sentence." Further reductions in the student body come thanks to a temperamental vampire teacher, the aptly named Principal Headcrusher, the peckish librarian/disciplinary officer Mrs. T (for Tyrannosaurus) and a variety of "accidents." By year's end, the survivors of these and such other hazards as the playground's "well of a thousand screams" have also had a gross and vivid lesson in anatomy from a half-zombie who shucks off his skin to show his organs in action, enjoyed delicious lunches prepared by a student of WereWolfgang Puck and are ready for a climactic round of Ghoul Games against a worldwide array of all-monster schools. Aside from being mostly monsters, the cast looks like a typical set of students and teachers in Fischer's frequent spot-art sketches. A dedicated web site offers further goofs and games, and the author repeatedly promises sequels.
Familiar light fare for fans of the Wayside and Bailey School series, the Zack Files, Ghostville Elementary, etc., etc. (Funny horror. 8-11)
Book_Monster_Reviews
Posted April 1, 2012
Scary School, by Derek the Ghost, is one of the funniest, craziest books I have ever read. My grandson and I read every day as part of his homework and since my grandson is not an avid reader, I try to find books that will catch his attention. Well, catch his attention it did! We laughed through every page and he actually remembered everything that happened from one end of the book to the other! This is a testament in itself in how entertaining this story is!
Scary School is run by Principal Headcrusher and the school is the only elementary school having both human and monster students. It is Principal Headcrusher’s dream that all schools become mixed with students of all kinds and she tries very hard to get the kids to get along. The teachers are all monsters and quite a mix of zany characters such as Ms. Fang, Mr. Spider Eyes, Mrs. T., Mr. Snakeskin, Mr. Acidbath. Every day kids come to school and hope they make it through the day without being eaten so Sue, the Amazing Octo Chef, cooks fantastic lunches for the kids every day, just in case!
Each chapter is dedicated to a specific person, either a teacher or a student and tells a story about the person’s character and how he responds to others in the school. Each chapter teaches a lesson and what better way to learn a lesson than to laugh your way through it! The Ghoul Games, which is a recurring topic through the book teaches the greatest lesson of all AND makes Principal Headcrusher’s dream come true!!
This is truly a 5 star wonder and yes, we have already pre-ordered Book 2 from Amazon which comes out the end of June! Hurray!!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.munkyluver18
Posted March 25, 2012
Scary School is the first in the series by the same name. It is Derek's tales of his school, the first of its kind. It is the first school to allow both human and monster children. Derek was simply Derek the student until a freak lab accident turned him into Derek the Ghost. Like all ghosts, Derek has unfinished business. He realizes that his unfinished business is to share his amazing school with you through his books.
Derek introduces us to to his former classmates and teachers. There is the vampiric Mrs. Fang, who only killed one child this year, making her the nicest and most popular teacher. Then there's Dr. Dragonsbreath, whose class rules will literally kill you. Then there is the founder of Scary School, Principal Headcrusher. While she is technically human, how many humans do you know with hands the size of boulders?
There's also a student named Lindsey, which I loved. Her name was even spelled properly! She starts off as a real jerk, judging her classmates based solely on their looks. You'll have to read the book to find out if she learsn the error of her ways or just gets eaten by a really ugly monster.
If you are worried that Scary School doesn't sound like a very wholesome book, Derek has reassurances for you. "You're probably thinking this book isn't going to very wholeseome at all. Well, don't worry; just because a kid dies at Scary School, it doesn't mean that he or she will stay dead. As you will see, there's all sorts of ways a kid can come back from the dead and keep attending classes. In fact, losing your life is never an excuse for missing class. Plu,s through the act of dying, a dead student will ironically learn an important life lesson. It is such life lessons that will make Scary School probably the most wholesome book series to be published in the last twenty years."
I enjoyed reading about Scary School, but I would never want to attend it. I am too much of a wuss. Derek's writing is really comical. I found myself laughing out loud a bunch of times, and even stopped to read a passage or two to my husband. Derek does a great job of bringing his characters to life. Even the ones who are technically dead. The illustrations in the book are also awesome. The descriptions of the characters are vivid enough that they aren't needed, but I loved them. The only thing I didn't like about the book was the introduction of Derek's sister, Jacqueline. It is just the mom in me, and not anything wrong with the book. It just made me really sad to imagine an 8-year-old building a house for her big brother who is now a ghost. Like I said, this isn't a negative reflection of the book, just the idiosyncrasies of a crazy mommy.
This would be a great book for a reluctant middle grader or as a read aloud with slightly younger kids.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Would you want to go to a school with all these crazy creatures, or where you could get your hand bit off just for sitting it down in the wrong place?
Well that is what our main character in this spooky and funny book had to do. As soon as I got this book, I knew I had to read it ASAP! The cover drew me right into the world where such a school could exist. I adored all the cast of crazy characters. There are so many of them, but my favorite would have to defiantly have to be Penny. She is amazing at playing dead!
I haven't laughed so hard at a book in a long time and I loved reading every word of it. Scary School is perfectly written and I would have begged for a book like this when I was a kid. Its one of those books you have to read to believe and also one you will never forget once you've read it!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Scary School has been the funniest children's book I have ever read! I found myself laughing... like.. every page! I cannot give it enough praise, it was a great read and all of the characters were wonderful and very unique. I really liked the teachers, they were some of my favorites. I loved that the teachers could get away with so much at the school (like killing students... in a "PG" way).
The students themselves were also great. One of my favorites was Petunia, the purple girl on the cover. I loved the chapter on her and her story. That was yet another thing that I enjoyed, that there was a chapter for each important character and their "story" was explained so as the plot moved forward you already had a glimpse into what they were like.
The school was amazing. I totally wish there was an actual school like that, thought I think I would be scared to attend. The way that the school was described really made it come alive. The rules and regulations of Scary School were crazy! It was very funny to read how the students reacted to these rules.
Derek the Ghost (both the character and the author) did a fantastic job putting this book together and the imaginative details were great. I especially loved the goblins' "Three Little Pigs" reenactment (SO FUNNY!)... but you'll have to read it to learn more!
Seriously, READ THIS! It is a great book, not just for kids, but for adults as well. I couldn't put it down and I will definitely be reading the next books in the series.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted November 19, 2011
As a mother of a third grader who scares easily I thought that I would read this book before letting my daughter read it. And I LOVED IT!! So much so that we'll probably read it together now that it's her turn. I think watching me giggle while I read it just made her more interested. I describe it to other people kind of like Shrek- there's definitely something in it for everyone, and I loved that it had a strong moral behind it as well- teamwork and friendship are rather prevalent in the second half of the book.
I'm just bummed we have to wait until June 2012 for the second book! I really hope this series continues for a long time- I'd collect them all! I will be buying a few more copies as Christmas presents.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted October 19, 2011
I love it but I think you should make it less money. Becaus not many people are going to buy it.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.3kids
Posted September 2, 2011
My kids can't wait for the next book (too bad we have to wait until June!). They liked the creepy (but not too creepy) stories and gross humor --a bonus isthere are some clever, hidden laughs for adults too. Glad to add it our "great to give as a present" list.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted July 30, 2011
Mom: My daughter Rebecca and I read "Scary School" together, and it was a scream!
Rebecca: I liked the Ghoul Games the most. It was funny and scary at the same time.
Mom: We wanted to read a chapter book that is both challenging and entertaining, and this was certainly both. It's above my daughter's grade level (she can read level 1 by herself), but she still understood a lot of it. There were also fun references for parents. It reminded me of Bugs Bunny in that respect.
Rebecca: I love it! Derek the Ghost writes awesome stories!
Mom: The individual chapters are complete little stories in the larger narrative, so it was great to read one chapter a day. Her younger brother sometimes listened in, too. We recommend this book highly.
Rebecca: The website is awesome!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Lindy-Lou
Posted July 7, 2011
I knew this would be an "easy" read, being written for kids in the 3rd to 6th grade range, but I didn't expect it to be completely delightful! I started reading it and couldn't put it down. I read most of it at work. I work in a middle school and I plan on spreading the news about this clever, funny, and charming book about kids, monsters and humans, attending school together. They learn valuable life lessons and learn most importantly, not to judge a book by it's cover. Don't judge a person by the color of their skin, wether it be dark, light, pruple, harry, or dead and falling off! : ) I think one of my favorite charachters is Jason. A human kid that loves being a hockey goalie so much that his face is terribly scared, so he always wears his hockey mask. Plus, his father is a logger, so he always has a chainsaw with him. The result, he looks like a cute mass murderer type, (Jason Vorhees, he he he I love it!) But he is the sweetest kid ever! I won't tell you what he does for his favorite teacher. Ms. Fang, it's so sweet, I almost cryed. You're going to have to read it to find out! Petuna's story is absoultely adorable, with a scary twist. I love her! And the teachers, well, every kid thinks their teachers are monsters, these really are, with names like, Mr. Spider-Eyes, Principal Headcrusher, Dr. Dragonbreath or Ms. Stingbottom. The school Chef is a hoot! Plus the book has a websight that goes along with the book. If you can pass Ms. Fang's quiz, it will unlock a secret chapter. The added bonus in this book would be the illustrations, completely enchanting! Bravo to the illustrator! Derek the Ghost, is a lovely writer! I think I'll give this book to my 3rd grade neice, plus buy one for a few classes at school. I can't wait for the next book! This a must have book for any child that loves to read about the supernatural, or read period!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.My_Little_Me
Posted June 16, 2011
The transition from Elementary to Middle School can often be a scary situation for kids. Even more so for the kids selected to go to 'Scary School'. Imagine arriving early on your first day of school to be greeted by a giant squid in a moat (who almost eats you). You are then greeted by a T-rex who tells you the only reason she isn't eating you is because she just ate. That doesn't mean she won't eat you later.
'Scary School' is written by Derek The Ghost (also known as Derek Taylor Kent). Scary School is the first school in the Scary School System to enroll humans and monsters. The school is chosen by Franz Dietrich Wolfbark to host the monsters annual Ghoul Games. The Ghoul Games are held every year at a chosen school and the kids from the school system compete against each other in games of all kinds. Franz makes it perfectly clear to Principal Headcrusher, the head-crushing principal of Scary School, that the only reason he chose their school was in hopes of shutting it down. He didn't think humans should be allowed in monster schools. He prepared special rules for this years Ghoul Games. Usually the school who won the Ghoul Games received a Golden Elephant and a trip to Albania to meet the Monster King. However, this year, the school who lost would get eaten by the monsters who won. Franz believed the kids at Scary School would lose since a lot of them were human. No more kids = No more Scary School.
We follow the journey as the kids of Scary School face every day life at a school where you might get eaten by your teacher if you break a rule (everyone who gets eaten learns a lesson), while they are training for the Ghoul Games in the spring. We are introduced to some amazingly scary creatures such as Petunia - with Bees in her hair, Mrs. Fang - the one fanged vampire, and Penny Possum - the girl who plays dead.
There are many rules to follow and lessons to be learned throughout this story including a hands on anatomy of the internal organs with Mr. Snakeskin, who can give a detailed science lesson by removing layers of his body to show the inside. He is half dead, half alive, so he can do this. This may sound gross, but it really wasn't. It was interesting.
I enjoyed reading this story and recommend it for kids in middle school or above. There is a good deal of getting eaten in this book, but in the end, most (if not all) of the kids who are 'taught a lesson' are brought back in some form or another. All of the 'lesson teaching' is done tastefully and in a fun way. I enjoyed all of the characters with their many vivid personalities. This book was fun and packed full of adventures. I am looking forward to reading the next book!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.annmarie2011
Posted April 29, 2011
i was lucky enough to get a free downloadable copy for my computer.
As the book was for younger readers i was excited to see what i thought of the book and i must say i was really surprised.
the book was down right funny to the point of me wetting myself with laughter. The story was fun and exciting and unlike any other book i have read. what made it all the better was the pictures that went along with the story i felt like i was in the book with the charters and i dont want to say to much ((hate spoilers)) but no matter your age you'll love this book its one of a kind and most of all the book will keep you smiling for days. happy reading.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted March 9, 2013
La la
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Scary School is the place parents send their children when they want them to get a good schooling education. Apparently children learn better if they're going to lose an arm or two if they answer incorrectly on a quiz--or worse, lose their life if they break the rules. It's not unusual for a whole class to get wiped out by the end of the school year. Quite different from my initial impression of the book. I wasn't expecting so many kids to die out; nevertheless, Derek does a fantastic job of finding humor in the grotesque in a perfectly acceptable manner for middle-grade readers. I wouldn't be averse to recommending this book for upper grade school students either.
When I began reading this book, I was expecting Derek the Ghost to be one of the class students. After all, if zombies go to school, can't ghosts? Apparently not. Since his death in an accidental fire, Derek has been haunting the school grounds and following the going ons at school. While Derek is the narrator of Scary School, he is mostly an observer. Rather than a book following one main plot line, Scary School is more of a collection of related short stories about the students, staff, and faculty of Scary School that begins with the start of one school year to its end. To unlock the final secret chapter, which takes on the last day of school, visit the author's website and take Ms. Fang's quiz.
The characters bring the story to life with their vivid personalities, unfortunate misadventures, and their fight for survival in a school where one wrong move or mistiming can mean the end of your life. I enjoyed learning about each individual whose story Derek tells, especially Ms. Fang and her unfortunate checker match, Petunia and her mommy worries, and Fred and his dreams. This is a fun, light-hearted read that everyone from grade school students to adults can enjoy.
Book two (Monsters on the March) comes out June 26th along with the paperback version of Scary School.
book_lady1
Posted July 18, 2012
Great illustrations with an active imagination make this a very delightful book from start to finish. The story was easy to read and I found myself getting caught up in the Scary School world for a short time. The characters were the type that either you loved them or loved to hate them. I think that every child or even adult has thought up a world similar to this at least once in their lives, I know I have on occasion.
I highly recommend this first installment in the Scary School series. Make sure to check it out and the latest book Monsters on the March.
Scary School would be the perfect book to read aloud to the class at the beginning of the new school year. As a teacher I’m always looking for that book that will hook my reluctant readers. This is that book. Imagine a school where monsters and humans go to school together. Imagine that all of your teachers are monsters. Hey, the students already think teachers are monsters for giving homework so this isn’t a far stretch of the imagination. Imagine you are on a tour of the school with your tour guide Derick the Ghost. He had died the previous year in a terrible accident at the school. The new kid, Charles Nukid thinks everyone is real friendly when they holler, “Hey new kid”.
The teachers and other members of the school are wonderful to read about. I laughed and laughed when I read about Nurse Hairymoles. She can cure whatever ails you.
However, she makes sure you get something that is even worse.
The Ghoul Games were cool. We are always talking about starting our school year by building community with our students so they learn up front to get along. This book is a subtle way to teach students life lessons such as; no one is better than anyone else just because they are different.
Will I recommend this book to my student? You bet I will. Currently I have an electronic version. However, I will be purchasing a copy for my shelves along with a copy of the sequel “Monsters on the March”. The illustrations by Scott M. Fischer are absolutely wonderful.
Check out the book and then purchase the second one, to be released March 26. This is a definite must read. It is a book both young and old will enjoy.
IBlog__YouRead
Posted April 16, 2012
This book has SO many different characters that kept me reading every word. Derek Taylor Kent is incredibly talented because he is able to keep a very detailed story interesting to any reader. Scary School has a short story vibe to it because each chapter is dedicated to a student or teacher that never detours away from the main plot of the story, which is the Ghoul Games. The best part of the book is that Derek the Ghost is telling the story directly to the reader, even letting the reader in on clues of what to expect in the second book. I love books like this because it makes it more personal.
Two of the characters that grabbed my attention were Mr. Snakeskin and Penny Possum. Mr. Snakeskin is half zombie and half snake. He actually sheds his skin to reveal the insides of his body explaining how the heart, digestive system, and respiratory system work. He actually removes parts of his body as he explains with a proud smile. It sounds gross but it actually put a smile on my face.
Penny Possum is the shy girl who plays dead in class whenever she’s called on to answer a question by a teacher. This comes in handy when she walks into Dr. Dragonbreath’s classroom that has a tendency of eating his students, turning them into dragons later on of course.
This book’s target age would be age ten and up, but anyone who likes to read the occasional children’s book would be entertained by Scary School as well. Derek Taylor Kent provides an imaginative escape with a tour of Scary School that will satisfy the funny bone and entice any young horror fan. This is a book that a parent can read with their child and be able to talk and laugh about it together. I personally feel that any family that enjoys any Tim Burton movie would get the humor in Scary School and find Scott Fischer’s artwork charming. So get a jump on reading a copy of Scary School before the second book is released in June entitled Scary School #2: Monsters on the March.
TheBumbleGirl1
Posted March 16, 2012
All middle grade readers will definitely love this new series! Such a fun and quirky book that starts with us meeting our narrator, Derek the Ghost. We get to know a little about Derek and how/why he is a ghost... and then he introduces us to what we will find and who we will meet at Scary School.
In my opinion, this book was more of an introduction to the series than actual story telling. Every chapter is dedicated to a different teacher or student, giving us their story and background - if it wasn't for the fact that Derek the Ghost reminds you of the underlying story that he's trying to tell you, it felt like I was reading a bunch of short stories. Because of this, it was a bit hard to get into at first, but with the help of the illustrations at the beginning of each chapter, it started to flow easily and was a lot of fun.
My 8yo son is now reading it - and he is enjoying it more than I thought he would! We have already talked about a few of the characters and side stories and have learned...
"Don't judge a monster by the way he/she looks, looks can be deceiving!"
"Always follow the rules! They're made for a reason!"
And here is some exciting news! Derek the Ghost is hard at work and writing up a storm!
The next book will also be released as a hardcover on June 26th, 2012... Scary School #2: Monsters on the March
There is no official blurbs/quotes for it yet. But I'm pretty confident that it is going to be a good, laugh-out-loud story for the kiddos :)Keep an eye out for it!
First Impressions: I was e-mailed about a month ago by the author of the book Scary School, Derek Kent aka Derek the Ghost and was asked to read his new novel for review on my blog. Now I mostly stick to the young adult to adult books only because I find these type of books are what I enjoy the most when reading. I read over the book synopsis of Scary School and found it to be quite interesting and story seem to draw me in so I decided to give it a try. I am ever so glad that I did because Scary School really did turn out to be a fun and comical read.
Review: The first thing I am going to say that I totally loved about the book was that while reading there are so many amazing Illustrations to go along with the story-line of the book which really made the charathers and the story come alive. In Scary School "Derek the Ghost" is telling the story in which he tells the reader about himself but mostly about many of the kids or creatures that walk the halls. You as the reader will get to learn about many different teachers and students who go to Scary School. And I mean "different". From a one fang'd Vampires to a T Rex who won't go anywhere without her blue dress on. Weird right? If you don't follow a rule you may be eaten, but don't worry you won't die. Mostly likely you'll just come back as something else like a dragon or another creature. Nothing is ever what it seems at this odd and twisted school but the kids at Scary School like it that way as do the teachers. I have a few favorite character's in the book I really enjoyed while reading that I found to be very funny or relatable to me in some ways. One was Petunia who is the purple girl on the cover of the book. She could make flowers grow and the way the Illustrator drew her was so beautiful. I like how her story was that she was made fun of by the other girls in the school but something happens to her to make her see that she indeed is special. The whole book was just made up of all of the monsters/humans (teachers and students) individual stories each with such a fun and unique pizzazz. A very funny book and the images to go along with the story made me laugh ever more!
Final Thoughts: I am very glad I decided to give Scary School a go because I really did love it. I went outside my comfort zone and read a book that was written for a lot younger age group than I am in but truthfully nothing is wrong with reading a middle-grade novel when your an adult. I would highly recommend Scary School to my readers (or their children) and to anyone who may be a bit hesitant of reading a book below there age level. - The cover of the book and images in the book are stunning and very well done. Scott M. Fischer the illustrator did a wonderful job! The idea of the book being narrated by a ghost (who was also part of the story) was a excited and fun POV. A MUST read in 2012 for all ages!
Okay...Before I go into the whole review thing, I have to point out that this book was the trippiest book that I have ever read. Like, it was so weird (can't think of a better word). However, the idea that this book was so weird made me like it even more. Scratch that...This is what me love the book even more.
I liked how you got to learn something about each of the teachers and students within a different chapter and each chapter continued flowing to keep me as the reader interested in every word that I was reading. Along with the idea that the school wasn't only monster children but also human children as well. The way they got along with each other was fascinating.
I had to admit the monster math lesson I have to agree with is my favorite chapter of all time. I would have been in trouble because knowing my personality, I have to make sure that it would be correct. However, to make sure nothing happened to me, I would agree.
This book was the funnest book I have had the pleasure reading and it was amazing how this book brought a different perspective of reading to me as a reader and blogger. I greatly advise all readers, bloggers, or whatever you may be to check this book out because you won't be disappointed one bit.
I give this book 5 souls!
TheDiaryofaBookworm
Posted February 22, 2012
I love a middle school story with good storytelling and awesome illustrations. The combo is a no-fail in my books and it has the added benefit of being a good enticement to reluctant younger readers who may need the smattering of illustrations to graduate them into novels. Besides, it's just pretty, and who doesn't love a pretty book?
Scary School was an excellent example of a great graduation novel. Filled with funny short anecdotal stories, which come together to tell the greater story of an unusual school and it's quest to participate and win at the annual Ghoul Games, not to mention fabulous illustrations, I can see it winning over all sorts of readers.
The wonky concept of a school accommodating average students as well as ghosts, monsters, vampires, dinosaurs, dragons and many other assorted dangerous creatures, is an excellent set up for the comedy of its successes and failings. Kids die from irritating teachers, or are turned into vampires from asking the wrong questions, but its all told in an amusingly careless tone.
"That afternoon, twenty-nine sets of angry parents stormed into Principal Headcrusher's office.
Randall's dad barked, "I knew his chances of survival weren't good, but on the first day? Come on!"
"Listen," said Principal Headcrusher, "if your child was eaten, it's because he or she directly disobeyed one of Dr. Dragonbreath's very simple rules. You all signed the waiver forms. There's nothing I can do about it!"
I can't imagine a little boy who wouldn't love this, and many bloodthirsty little girls as well. But there are a number of excellent chuckles for older readers also, and an "A" team reference at the end had me chortling away for a good couple of days after finishing it. It was that kind of off the cuff humour that set this book apart for me.
A great read, for a wide range of readers, I highly recommend it for the young reader in your life.
Overview
You think your school's scary?
Get a load of these teachers:
Ms. Fang, an 850-year-old vampire
Dr. Dragonbreath, who just might eat you before recess
Mr. ...