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Scot on the Rocks
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Scot on the Rocks

4.2 18
by Brenda Janowitz

When her ex-boyfriend, Trip, gets engaged to Hollywood's latest It Girl, Manhattan attorney Brooke Miller plans to attend the wedding. Who says a modern girl can't stay friends with her ex? Besides, Brooke's got her sexy Scottish fiancé, Douglas, to take as her date. Okay, so maybe he's not exactly her fiancé, but they're living together in his


When her ex-boyfriend, Trip, gets engaged to Hollywood's latest It Girl, Manhattan attorney Brooke Miller plans to attend the wedding. Who says a modern girl can't stay friends with her ex? Besides, Brooke's got her sexy Scottish fiancé, Douglas, to take as her date. Okay, so maybe he's not exactly her fiancé, but they're living together in his apartment, so she'll be getting the ring any minute, right? Wrong.

After a fight leaves her without a boyfriend (much less a fiancé) just days before the wedding, Brooke faces the ultimate humiliation of attending her ex-boyfriend's nuptials alone. Desperate to find a replacement to fill Douglas's kilt, Brooke concocts an outrageous plan to survive the wedding and win the man of her dreams, all with her dignity ever-so-slightly intact.

Product Details

Red Dress Ink
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
5.13(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.85(d)

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Scot On The Rocks

By Brenda Janowitz

Red Dress Ink

Copyright © 2007 Brenda Janowitz
All right reserved.

ISBN: 9780373895281

As I walked back to my apartment that day, on my way home from work, I had a feeling that nothing could go wrong. You know that feeling you get when everything seems to be right with the world? When the planets seem to be in alignment? One of those days when you're actually running on time, your apartment is (relatively) clean, and you haven't gotten into an argument with your mother/best friend/boss/therapist in at least a week? That was exactly how I felt as I strolled home from work down Mercer Street to my apartment on 301 Prince Street.

I had left my office that evening at 8:30 p.m., which—at Gilson, Hecht and Trattner, the large Manhattan law firm where I work— is actually considered early, so I was feeling as if I had the whole night ahead of me. And I was going home to pick up my gorgeous Scottish boyfriend so that we could go out and meet friends for supper at some fabulous little downtown brasserie where everyone is European and the waiters only speak French, so I could hardly wait. I had the perfect New York City evening planned out.

Since I usually got out of work closer to 9:00 p.m. than 5:00 p.m., I considered myself lucky to have a boyfriend who liked to eat dinner late. I once dated a math teacher who left work at 4:00 p.m. and was in bed by ten. That relationship was destined tofail. Ditto for the guy who traded foreign something or others who started his day at 3:00 a.m. and ate his dinner before I even thought about getting lunch. My boyfriend, Douglas, on the other hand, thought that people who ate dinner before 8:00 p.m. were uncivilized.

I walked into the lobby of my apartment building—the poshest building in all of Soho—with a skip in my step. The Soho Triumphe, a building so fancy that, in addition to its staff of eight doormen, it boasts a twenty-four-hour concierge who can get you into any restaurant in Manhattan (not like Douglas ever needed any such help). It even has in-house dry cleaning, like at a hotel. I said hello to the evening doorman who, despite the fact that I had moved into Douglas's apartment a full two years ago, still couldn't quite remember my name.

"Um, 32G?, he asked with a pained expression that indicated to me that he was thinking, at least, very very hard about who I was. I nodded my head yes and pulled my hair out of the bun I usually wore at work while he checked his book for deliveries. Douglas loved my hair—dark brown with natural auburn highlights that was so long it fell down my back to just below my bra strap— so I always took it down right before I got up to our apartment.

The doorman handed me a mountain of dry cleaning—five custom-made Italian suits (Douglas's), five monogrammed shirts (Douglas's) and one skirt (mine). I checked the mail and took out four bills (Douglas's) and the Barneys New York Spring Look Book (mine)—or maybe it was Douglas's. You never could tell with European men.

Balancing it all in the crook of my arm, with my oversize work bag forcing my body to lean perilously to the right, I made it to the elevator just as the door was about to close. I kicked my foot out and stopped the door with my leg. Inside, I could see a tiny little man furiously pressing the "door close" button.

"You could lose a limb trying to get to your apartment," I said to the man with a laugh. Rather than being embarrassed for not holding the elevator for me, he looked annoyed that I had made it in.

"Or you could just wait for the next elevator," he replied under his breath. And they say that chivalry is dead.

With my free arm, I pressed the button for thirty-two. My work bag slid down my shoulder, catching my long hair underneath the strap. I tried to jump up to release my hair, turning my head quickly to the left as I did so. The dry cleaning began to slip from my grip and I begged it not to fall, whispering "We're almost there," to it as if talking to a small child. The man looked at me, his expression saying, " The economy must really be bad if our co-op board let this woman into the building."

But I didn't care. The night would still be perfect. No doubt I would get back to my apartment, and Douglas would be waiting for me with open arms. Seeing me with all of my packages, he would grab them from me, throw them on the couch and kiss me passionately. In his charming Scottish accent, he would say, "Darling, I missed you so much today I could barely stand it," or something as equally romantic and heartfelt and we would go meet our fabulous friends for a fabulous evening out. On our way to the restaurant, he would turn to me and say, " How is it that you look even more beautiful after working a full ten-hour day?"

I bet that that tiny little man in the elevator didn't have a gorgeous Scottish boyfriend to go home to. Or, actually, maybe he did. He was wearing really, really nice shoes.

But I did. I walked in the door to my apartment, starving to death (because, let's face it, I'm totally uncivilized), and before I even had a second to put down our dry cleaning, my gorgeous Scottish boyfriend broke up with me.

Normally, my life isn't this complicated. You see, I'm a simple girl with simple hopes. Up until two weeks ago, all I really wanted in life was for my boyfriend Douglas to buy an engagement ring. And he did! He just didn't give it to me. But I was fine. Even though the breakup was difficult, I remained very dignified.

Well, not so much dignified as a screaming crying mess. But it's not as if I embarrassed myself or anything. Unless you'd call throwing yourself at the tails of someone's suit jacket embarrassing. Which, luckily for me, I do not. We had a very mature conversation, really, if you think about it. I sweetly said, " Please don't go! Please don't leave me!" Okay, so maybe I was screaming it at the time, but you get where I was going with that one.

"I'm sorry, Brooke," Douglas said. "It's not you. It's me. You are an amazing girl. You have so much to offer. It's just that this doesn't feel right. It's just not the time for us."

Now isn't that mature? So, I answered him in kind. "And it is the time for you and that—that—bimbo? What the hell is her name?"


"That's not even a naaaame!" I bellowed.

"Brooke, let's not get hysterical," Douglas said. Hysterical? I was, like, so not hysterical. "Can't we make this friendly? Can't we try to still be friends?, "Okay. you're right. Friends." See how mature I was being?

"Right then," he said, sounding very Scottish. How I loved that accent. "I'll be going."

This may have been the part where I lunged for the tails of his suit jacket and he then dragged me about twenty feet to the door.

"No!" I was screaming. "No, please, no!" Okay, yes, now that I'm telling you about this, I distinctly recall being dragged across the f loor screaming, " Don't go!"

Oh, please. As if you never did that, too.

As a last ditch effort, I cried, " You can't do this! Please don't go! It isn't right!" In an instant, his expression changed. I'm getting through to him, I thought. I lightened my viselike grip on the tails of his suit jacket.

"you're right. I shouldn't go. It isn't right."

I shook my head in agreement and breathed a sigh of relief. As visions of wild, passionate makeup sex f loated through my mind, he said, " After all, I own the apartment." And with that, he opened the door.

I should never have let go of the tails of his jacket.

Really, I blame the breakup on Trip's wedding. That's when everything started to go downhill between Douglas and me. And what's worse, everyone I know thought that I shouldn't have gone to the wedding in the first place. Somehow, everyone who knew me just knew that Trip's wedding would be the end of Douglas and me. (Except little old me, of course.) I really hate being a foregone conclusion.

When I told my mother that I was going to Trip's wedding, she said, " Trip's wedding? Trip who?, (As if Jewish girls from Long Island know that many men named Trip.) "Trip from law school Trip? What woman, in her right mind, would want to go to that?"

Vanessa, my best friend from law school, initially RSVP'd no to the wedding, since she assumed that I wouldn't want to attend. When she found out that I wanted to go, she later called Trip to tell him that her "big case" had settled and that she and her husband, Marcus, would be there—but not before asking me approximately 472 times if I "wanted to talk about it?"

And when I told the partner I worked for at my firm that I would be out of town for a four-day weekend to take my boyfriend to L.A. to go to Trip's wedding, even he asked me, " Why the hell would you want to do that?"

I could have sworn that I even saw my therapist look at me sideways when I told her that I was going to my ex-boyfriend's wedding.

Okay, so I understand that this isn't exactly your typical "girl goes to wedding" kind of situation. But, just because Trip is my ex-boyfriend from law school doesn't mean that I care more about this wedding or am more nervous about this wedding, or that this wedding is any different from any other wedding in any way at all! Because it's not. Trip's wedding is just another wedding. And Trip is just another friend of mine. Even if he is my ex-boyfriend.

What's an ex-boyfriend anyway? Everyone has an ex-boyfriend. Everyone. I mean, even some lesbians I know have them. Nothing special about them, right? I don't care any more or less about him just because he's my ex-boyfriend. He's just a person. And staying friends with your ex is a piece of cake. I barely ever think about him and how he may or may not have been my last chance at happiness in this cruel and unforgiving world.

Really. I have the satisfaction of having a great career and a great independent life filled with fabulous friends and, of course, even more fabulous shoes. I am such a woman of the new millennium that I can go work a full ten-hour day, keep in touch with friends through e-mail, do a few errands on the way to meet my friends for dinner, and then go meet cute guys over martinis at the bar after I eat. All in three-and-a-half-inch heels. I am such a woman of the millennium that I can do anything, even things that previous generations would have thought completely impossible—Betty Friedan be damned! I can even stay friends with an ex-boyfriend.

And it's not like Douglas was jealous or anything. Douglas wasn't really the type to ever get jealous. He was far too manly and European for such things.

When I told Jack, my best friend from Gilson Hecht, about Trip's wedding, he simply said, " You and Douglas are going to break up."

"What?, I practically screamed as I slammed the door to his office shut and sank into his visitor's chair. His computer screen was turned slightly off center and I could see in the ref lection of his window that he was working on his fantasy football league.

"Ignore me. I don't even know what I'm saying," he said, one eye still on his computer screen as he f lipped it back to the brief he was drafting. "I think it's great if you can go to your exboyfriend's wedding. In fact, if we had dated and then broke up, I would fully expect you to come to my wedding."

"We did date and break up," I reminded him, picking up the silver paperweight from his desk and turning it slowly in my hands. It was engraved Congratulations on Your Graduation and signed With Love from all three of his older sisters.

"One kiss does not constitute us dating and breaking up," he said, baby blues now burning into me, as he brushed his shaggy brown hair out of his eyes. This particular conversation always made Jack nervous for two reasons. The first was that he was the one who called things off, and being the gentleman that he was, he never liked to do anything that would make a woman unhappy. The second was that he hated the implication that he would ever act in such an unprofessional manner by running around kissing associates who were junior to him.


Excerpted from Scot On The Rocks by Brenda Janowitz Copyright © 2007 by Brenda Janowitz. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Meet the Author

Brenda is a graduate of Cornell University and Hofstra Law School.  She lives in Manhattan, where she has bravely attended three of her ex-boyfriend’s weddings.

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Scot on the Rocks 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 17 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I rarely write reviews of books, but just had to do so for this title. The main character, Brooke, is one of the most self absorbed heroines I have ever come across. What I am thinking is meant to be witty comes across as annoying, whiny, and justification for her poor decisions. I am amazed that anyone would ever want to date her much less marry her. I tried skimming through her monologues of snarkiness and read actual dialogue and action. It was the only way I made it through the entire book.
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Loretta Roth More than 1 year ago
this book made me laugh out loud. i also enjoyed the friendship relatioships so very well developed. it is a nice, fun read! retta
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Guest More than 1 year ago
Question: Your ex-boyfriend calls you (the two of you are still friends) to tell you he's engaged and wants you to attend the wedding. Do you... (a) Tell him how excited you are for him and say you will attend (you are genuinely happy for him). (b) Hang up on him and have a tantrum screaming repeatedly: 'how can he get engaged before me?' (c) Tell him congrats, but unfortunately you have another thing to attend on that day. (d) Say to him, 'What a coincidence! I'm engaged too!' Manhattan attorney Brooke Miller chooses (d) which sets into motion a hilarious chain of events that will lead her to where she really wants to be. The story begins with Brooke living with her boyfriend, Douglas, who is Scottish. Brooke thinks she has it all: a great NYC apartment, a loving and committed boyfriend, a great career at one of Manhattan's prestigious law firms, and two best friends, Jack and Vanessa. Just when things can't get any better, Douglas tells Brooke it's over and kicks her out of their (well, technically it's his) apartment. Soon, she discovers he has been cheating on her and plans to marry the other woman. When things can't get any worse, Trip, Brooke's former boyfriend from law school, calls to tell her he's engaged. Without thinking, she tells him she's engaged too and quickly concocts a plan to win Douglas back. Unfortunately, Brooke can make her plans, but can't plan her results as Douglas doesn't want to have anything to do with her. Together with Jack and Vanessa, they formulate a plan so Brooke can attend Trip's wedding with her fiance, 'Douglas'. Through her scheming, Brooke really learns what she has been chasing after has always been right in front of her.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Brooke Miller is a funny, ever so quick witted, and intelligent Manhattan lawyer that makes a few hard-knock choices that lead to a complete quandary. Frisky, hopeful, and ever so in love with her sexy Scottish boyfriend, Brenda plans to attend her ex-boyfriend's wedding with boyfriend, Douglas, in tow. The trouble is that her ex-boyfriend, Trip, moved to La-La Land after college and now happens to be marrying one of Hollywood's most famous It girls. Ouch! Brooke plays with fate when she assumes that Douglas is on the verge of a proposal of his own. Days before the wedding, a horrible fight leaves Brooke single and date-less for the wedding. Can one girl face an ex-boyfriend's wedding alone? Can Brooke Miller concoct a plan to save face and win back the man of her dreams? The clock is ticking and there isn't much time until the big day. Using her gifts for research, law, and litigation, Brooke Miller has a plan that might just come close to breaking the law. SCOT ON THE ROCKS is a hilarious and entertaining novel. There are the classic elements of Chick-lit but this book isn't cookie-cut. Brenda Janowitz, has attended 3 ex-boyfriends' wedding and has worked as a lawyer. She has got the experience to create a believable tale of love, madness, and hope. If you happen to fall in love with Brooke, Vanessa, and Jack, don't fret. Brenda Janowitz signed a two-book deal with Red Dress Ink. She is currently writing the sequel to SCOT ON THE ROCKS that should be published by Red Dress Ink in April of 2008. I have to say I can't wait!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I really enjoyed Scot on the Rocks. Brooke Miller is invited to her ex-boyfriend¿s wedding. No problem, she has a boyfriend she¿s crazy about and is sure that they are practically engaged, so she¿s eager to show him off at the wedding. Problem ¿ he dumps her before the big day. She can¿t not go to the wedding, and she can¿t possibly let the first ex know that she now has a new ex. Enter one of her best friends, who she convinces to wear a kilt, speak with a Scottish accent (most of the time) and pretend to be the new ex. I loved the writing style, with Brooke occasionally talking directly to me, the reader, as she justifies something she¿s just said. When a book makes me laugh out loud, it¿s a good book. The characters were well-drawn, and I felt like I knew them, which made me care about them.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Scot on the Rocks is the debut novel by Brenda Janowitz. It is a great Chick lit book. It is a page turner and absolutely hilarious! I did not want it to end. I really loved Brooke and felt like I was right there with her throughout the whole book. Scot on the Rocks is about a New York City attorney named Brooke Miller. She gets invited to her ex-boyfriend¿s wedding he is marrying a Hollywood ¿it girl¿. Brooke¿s Scottish boyfriend of two years named Douglas was going to escort her to the wedding but he breaks up with her and immediately becomes engaged to someone else. Brooke comes up with a plan to find a replacement date for the wedding and to get the love of her life back. She enlists the help of her best friend and her co-worker Jack. She soon realizes that Jack is the guy for her. I highly recommend this book. I cannot wait to read the sequel, ¿Jack with a Twist¿. It comes out June 20th 2008.
Guest More than 1 year ago
If you enjoy a book that encompasses humor, romance, and real life scenarios of the daily world, you will love this book! Brenda gives life to her heroine through a quirky, yet lovable demeanor and it carries throughout the entire book. This book will make you feel good and keep you laughing!
Guest More than 1 year ago
I blame Brenda Janowitz for my sleepiness! I read Scot on the Rocks this weekend and couldn't put it down, forcing me to hit the sack way past my bedtime. Scot on the Rocks is a wonderfully funny, smart and engaging love story, and the narrator's voice and vulnerability make her extremely likable. I found myself routing for Brooke no matter how sometimes silly her decisions could be (because who doesn't make mistakes when operating with a broken heart and a shattered ego). This is a perfect book for the beach or a plane ride, or, really, any time you want a fun and funny escape. I will never look at a man in a kilt the same way again.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I blame Brenda Janowitz for my sleepiness! I read Scot on the Rocks this weekend and couldn't put it down, forcing me to hit the sack way past my bedtime. Scot on the Rocks is a wonderfully funny, smart and engaging love story, and the narrator's voice and vulnerability make her extremely likable. I found myself routing for Brooke no matter how sometimes silly her decisions could be (because who doesn't make mistakes when operating with a broken heart and a shattered ego). This is a perfect book for the beach or a plane ride, or, really, any time you want a fun and funny escape. I will never look at a man in a kilt the same way again.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm a lover of titles, and when I heard of SCOT ON THE ROCKS, the debut novel by Brenda Janowitz, I immediately thought, 'Witty, cool title - maybe the book's as witty and cool as it.' It was. The novel follows Manhattan attorney Brooke Miller, a woman who finds her great life gone to pot when her ex-boyfriend announces his engagement to the latest Hollywood IT girl. That in and of itself wouldn't bother her...well, too much, considering she has a hunky, sexy Scottish boyfriend she plans to take to the wedding. But wouldn't you know it, the Scottish hunk breaks up with her, leaving her dateless for her ex's wedding. Unwilling to forgo attending the wedding, zany Brooke concocts a plan to find a replacement date for the wedding and to get the love of her life. With a woman willing to a' attend her ex's wedding and b' instead of telling the truth, find a fake Scottish boyfriend, you know that craziness will ensue in Brooke's journey to happiness. SCOT ON THE ROCKS was a breezy, funny romp of a story. Our storyteller, Brooke, has a very distinct voice, which I really liked. She had shortcomings - lots of them, but she acknowledged them, made fun of them, encouraged others to do so, too. As I listened to her tale of woe and of triumphant, I felt I was right alongside her. Author Brenda Janowitz does a great job with infusing nice characters, minor and major, and scenes that made me smile and say, I can totally see that, such as when Brooke and Jack are playing with the Magic 8-Ball 'you'll have to get the book yourself to know what I mean!'. Overall, SCOT ON THE ROCKS is a book that I would definitely recommend it's a book that fits really well in today's contemporary women's fiction climate. I'm impressed with Janowitz's skills as a writer, especially with this being her first book. I look forward to what she serves us next.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Absolutely hilarious! It sucks you in right from page one-- SCOT had me laughing out loud on every other page.
harstan More than 1 year ago
In New York City attorney Brooke Miller is stunned when her live-in Scottish boyfriend of two years Douglas dumps her and immediately becomes engaged to someone else who she hysterically insists does not have a real name as no one is a Beryl. Losing the hunk would have been enough, but to have him drop her just when she needs him to escort her to the wedding of her law school boyfriend Trip so that she can show off her European hunk is the pits. --- Brooke decides she needs to get her man back in time for the marriage. However, in her pursuit of the perfect escort, she enlists the help of her best friend, her co-worker at Gilson, Hecht and Trattner, Jack. Before long she realizes she has targeted the wrong stud as she now knows Jack is for her. --- SCOT ON THE ROCKS is an amusing Manhattan chick lit romance starring a likable zany nut and a strong support cast who don¿t know Jack about her so inadvertently trip over her antics. A lighthearted frolic, readers will enjoy Brooke¿s pursuit of the Scot while her advisor Jack has waited for two years for her and plans on escorting her to Trip¿s wedding. --- Harriet Klausner