Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism

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Overview

A bestseller, and for good reason!

This book will tell you all about sadomasochism. We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light.

In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Also included are: over 225 ...

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More About This Book

Overview

A bestseller, and for good reason!

This book will tell you all about sadomasochism. We made it light-hearted and fun to read because SM is fun to do. That's why we do it. But fun is only SM's overture; for those who grasp its message, SM is sexual magic. The right blend of trust, fantasy, and sensuality creates an intensely erotic and deeply intimate stew. We take away our lovers' freedom and lead them to profound liberty. We peer into the dark together, transforming it to light.

In these pages you will find clear explanations for the curious, and solid advice, safety measures and steamy suggestions for the adventurous. Also included are: over 225 photographs and illustrations, designs for making your own SM equipment, over 9000 entries of SM clothing and equipment vendors, publications, and organizations, bondage, flogging and bullwhip tutorials, an extensive, 15 page glossary, Foreword by Dr. William Granzig, President of The American Board of Sexology.

Allow us to guide you through the captivating realms of sensuality, dreamed of by millions, realized by few, and understood by fewer still.

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780964596009
  • Publisher: Mystic Rose Books
  • Publication date: 7/28/1995
  • Pages: 277
  • Sales rank: 68,491
  • Product dimensions: 7.88 (w) x 11.06 (h) x 0.52 (d)

Table of Contents

Acknowledgements i
The Color of a Rose ii
Foreword iii
Introduction v
1 Gee, Toto, I Don't Think We Are In Kansas Anymore! 1
Your hosts, Molly and Philip 2
About this book 2
What sadomasochism is 4
What sadomasochism is not 6
Scenespeak, learning the lingo 7
Scene 8
Playing 9
Player 9
Sadomasochism 9
Dominance and submission 9
Bondage and discipline 9
The who's who of SM 10
Masochist 10
Dominant 11
Submissive 11
Natural submissives and dominants 12
Tops and bottoms 13
Switch 13
Professional female dominants 15
Fetishist 15
Sub-Chapter XY - Gender and sexual orientation 15
Pronoun, pronoun, who's got the pronoun? 16
The gay SM scene 16
Simple starts, safe starts 16
2 Sexual Magic Why We Do Do That Voodoo 18
Trust and communication 24
Talking 24
Learning the body you want to bludgeon 26
The mind as an erogenous zone 27
Anticipation 27
Conditioning -- Three ways to Skinner a pussy 28
Visualization -- Scheherazade goes dom 29
Sensory relocation 31
Dominance and submission 31
3 The Politics of Very Strange Bedfellows Sensible SM Relationships and Dangerous Liaisons 34
Steering your love-boat into the rapids 34
With 31 flavors available, why serve only vanilla? 36
Catching a live one 37
The Law of supply and demand 38
What to look for 40
Looking for Mr. Good-dom 40
Seeking suitable submissives 41
The hunt 42
Organizations & support groups 42
Public clubs 42
Magazine and newspaper ads 43
Kink goes electronic 43
Would-bes, Wannabes, and other forgettable characters 45
The downside of the subside 47
Safety suggestions for meeting through ads or BBS's 48
Mistress Manners 49
4 "You Want To Worship My What???" Negotiation and Relationships 51
Compatibility 52
The Ideal Dominant 53
The Ideal Submissive 54
Negotiating sex in SM 55
Levels of dominant and submissive power exchange 56
Level 1 Conditional Compliance 57
Level 2 Restricted Ongoing Acquiescence 57
Level 3 Provisional Submission 58
Level 4 The Covenant of Dominance and Submission 58
Level 5 Absolute Ownership 59
Ownership and Lifestylers 59
The three biggest lies 61
Abusive relationships 62
Limits - The lines never to be crossed 63
Safe words 64
Contracts and agreements 65
Sample contract of submission 66
Negotiation Questionnaire 66
5 Straight Facts and Bent Phalluses Sexual Attitudes 69
No goals, no roles 71
Philip's Tree House: !!!No Girls Allowed!!! 71
A word about approach 73
Sign language 73
Rediscovering the joys of the flesh 74
Molly's notes from the quilting bee 75
Busting barriers 77
6 Non-Government Sanctioned Sex and Torture 78
Clips, clamps, and clothespins 78
Fire and ice 80
Electro-torture 81
The cutting edge 82
Anal play, general considerations 83
Anal sex 84
Anal training and object stimulation 85
Self-training for anal play 86
Enemas 86
Feeding the pussy syntho-meat 88
Fisting 89
Forced sex (never say never) 90
Smoke and Mirrors 90
7 Get Them By the Balls; Their Hearts and Minds Will Follow Bondage Theory 93
First, you need a plan 95
Bondage safety 95
Ten rules to be bound by 96
Anatomy for safer bondage 99
Emergency quick release 100
Novice bondage 101
The first session 101
The second session 103
The tournament of wills 104
The third and all the rest of your sessions 106
8 Of Humane Bondage Bondage Techniques 107
Bonds that tie 107
Finishing the rope 108
Knots 109
Releasing your victim 112
A simple wrist bondage 113
Crossed ankle bondage 114
Breast bondage 115
Oriental rope dress 116
Hints 119
Variations 119
Rope alternatives 119
Plastic wrap bondage 120
Wrist and ankle cuffs 121
Bondage harness and collars 123
Blindfolds 123
Gags 124
A cloth gaggage primer 126
Hoods and sensory deprivation 128
Spandex 128
Specialty items 129
Simple solutions for attachments 130
9 Philip's Philosophy of Phlogging Phun The Corporal Dimension 132
Environment 132
Beginning a session 133
Positioning 134
Bondage and Whipping 135
Beginning 136
Ending a scene 137
Kneeling before the lash 137
Philip's ten commandments of flagellation 138
I. Thou shalt never strike thine submissive in anger 139
II. Thou shalt not damage thine sub. Knoweth the difference between hurt and harm 139
Marking 140
Reading the submissives's butt after a scene - a chart 141
III. Thine sub and thee shalt negotiate thoroughly and each shall respecteth the limits of the other 142
IV. Learneth well the anatomy of thine targets 142
V. Thou shalt abide by SM safety rules and practices 143
VI. Knoweth intimately the feel, range, and effect of each of thine implements of destruction. It is better for all to receive before one gives 143
How does it feel? 143
Orchestrating your percussion 144
VII. Thou shalt develop proper stance and technique 145
VIII. Seeketh an expert's advice, training, and counsel for the weapons you would master 145
IX. Thou shalt Practice! Practice! Practice! and use upon a fanny only those toys with which thou art an expert 145
X. Never stop watching! Focus is next to godliness 145
10 When the Inner Child Deserves a Spanking Philip's (and Phriend's) Phurther Pheelings on Phlogging 146
Preparing the skin for a beating 146
Where to hit - a chart 148
The warm up 150
Warming up for a heavy scene 150
Spanking 151
Paddling 152
Face slapping 153
Caning and cropping 153
Flogging 154
Cat-anatomy 154
Flogger or cat? 155
How to practice whipping 155
Let this be a lesson to ya: A tutorial on using the cat-style whip, or flogger 156
Stance 156
The strokes 156
Forehand overhead stroke 157
Backhand overhead stroke 160
Figure-eight Stroke 160
Tips and traps 160
The single-lash whip 162
Bullwhips are not only at home on the range 162
11 It's Only Pain, Dear, and It's Only Yours Why Take A Long Road To Enlightenment, When You Can Haul Ass On A Super Highway? 168
Flying: "ground control to Master Tom" 171
The maiden voyage of rocket Molly 176
Endorphin highs and other vacation spots 177
Reprise; tops, bottoms and switches 181
"Ouch... Mmmmmmmmmmmm!" Experiencing pain as pleasure 181
12 Making the Upper Cheeks Red Embarrassment, Humiliation and the Mind Fuck 184
Politically incorrect but emotionally valid 190
Verbal abuse 191
Humiliation 191
Mindfuck, not mental rape 193
Exhibitionism 194
Public play 194
Dressing 195
Sexual denial, the ultimate weapon 197
Emotional growth through SM 199
Has anyone seen my self-esteem? - A search for myself 199
13 Furnishing Your Dungeon 201
Where to play while the castle is being repainted 201
Life with children 202
Hanging slaves and other decorative touches 203
Recycling Aunt Sophie's ottoman, or, why buy a rack with a perfectly good workbench in the basement? 204
A dungeon tour 204
Just for the dungeon 210
The torture group 212
The bondage group 213
The sex-toy group 214
The hitting group 215
Where to get your goodies 218
Found objects 219
Traveling with toys 220
Making your own toys 221
Leather tips 221
Designs 221
Glossary 226
Appendix A SM Support Groups and Organizations 241
Appendix B Stores, Suppliers, and Artisans 252
Appendix C Computer Bulletin Boards 268
Appendix D SM and Fetish Magazines 269
Appendix E Recommended Reading 271
Appendix F NLA Statement On Domestic Violence 273
Index 274

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 5
( 12 )

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(10)

4 Star

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Sort by: Showing all of 12 Customer Reviews

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 20, 2006

    PERFECT for the BEGINNER

    When I first entered into the lifestyle I was a little apprehensive, but my Dom recommended this book and it was a great help. Even now when I read it, I still seem to learn something new..the book is GREAT!!!! Its a definate MUST HAVE for those who live the lifestyle full-time as I do and those who like to add a little more to their sex life. :)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 27, 2003

    BDSM must have !

    I can not say it enough... this book is the ultimate newbie guide to the BDSM lifestyle,weather a Top or bottom. It explains many things from the definitions of roles, contracts, and most importantly.. how the mental aspect is just as important as the physical .

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted October 23, 2006

    The Bible

    For those in the lifestyle this book is a must have for beginners and advanced members alike. The book is informational and entertaining unlike many books that are out there. Remember Safe Sane and Consenual...Lets play safe

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted February 13, 2005

    AWESOME

    when i first began my journey into this other world i bought the book, after reading and rereading it opened my eyes to a lifestyle i was born to live. AWESOME book and a must read for all

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted September 12, 2003

    Funny, frank, informative

    A must have for all Doms and subs alike. Miller and Devon's style of writing was so entertaining i actually passed the book onto my mother! She loved it and it helped her to better understand and finally accept my lifestyle.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 3, 2002

    Great gift for any OPEN sexual person!

    This book greatly illustrates what fun things you can do to spice up your sex life. It's cute and funny drawings make you laugh and the advice make you cry, literally...!!!Whether you are into advanced S&M or just into love bites this book will rock your love life and YOUR WORLD!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted July 26, 2001

    A must have for the novice and experts

    very informative. well written and easy to follow. Makes even the most embarrassing things to talk about seem easy. full of laughter as well and puts you at total ease and comfort reading. a book that even a person with no understanding of the subject could grasp and understand easily. love mine and read it over and over again.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted January 9, 2001

    Great Intro or just Fine reading

    A really friendly book, whether you're a novice or Pro. Informative without being encyclopedic. Philip and molly really bring you into the S&M world without making you intimidated. :)

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 21, 2000

    One of the absolute best

    There is so much misinformation out there about SM that it just makes me sick. This is especially true of fiction. Therefore I'm especailly glad that Screw The Roses is in print. This is one of the most realistic, useful books out there and I recommend it all the time. It is very well illustrated, the authors clearly know their stuff, and it is light and easy to read with a lot of humor in it. The only suggestion I would make is that you see if your local Barnes and Noble carries this book on it's shelves. Its very important that accurate information be as widely available as possible because the inaccurate information sure is.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted February 9, 2000

    A wonderful book

    BDSM is not something that you just dive into. You need to learn how to do it first. Philip and Molly have written a wonderful book that will teach you how to do just that. The book is comprehensively organized and has a nice sense of humor. It is also more illustrated than the other SM books. It has a very good section on bondage and a very good section on whipping. In some ways, the book tries to do a bit to much. It goes into things like electricity play and fisting but should do so in greater detail. The book is also written exclusively from a dominant-male/submissive-female point of view, so I guess that is both a + and a -. Overall, this was a good quality realistically written book that I recommend.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 31, 2008

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 9, 2009

    No text was provided for this review.

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