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Nothing's sexier than an man who can keep a secret.
A typical bachelor party is all about beers and beautiful women. A vampire bachelor party is no different — except the men are drinking Blissky (whiskey-flavored synthetic blood). And no one can throw a party quite like Jack, the illegitimate son of the legendary Casanova. But when the party gets out of hand and the cops show up, Jack has some explaining to do . . . if only he wasn't struck ...
Nothing's sexier than an man who can keep a secret.
A typical bachelor party is all about beers and beautiful women. A vampire bachelor party is no different — except the men are drinking Blissky (whiskey-flavored synthetic blood). And no one can throw a party quite like Jack, the illegitimate son of the legendary Casanova. But when the party gets out of hand and the cops show up, Jack has some explaining to do . . . if only he wasn't struck speechless by the beauty of Officer Lara Boucher.
Lara is sure there's something more than a bachelor party going on. What is Jack hiding? And why is he so interested in the recent disappearance of young women all over town? Her investigation uncovers more than she wants to know, especially about this modern-day Casanova. But if she's ever to make detective, she'll need to expose all his secrets . . . if only her heart wasn't on the line.
Secret Life of a Vampire
"I don't want to die... again," Laszlo groaned.
Jack knelt beside Laszlo's sprawled body. "Can I fetch you anything? A warm cup of Type O?"
Laszlo covered his mouth. "Don't talk about food."
"Mi dispiace." Jack patted the Vamp on the shoulder, the only spot on the guy's shirt that wasn't soaked with spewed Blissky. Poor Laszlo. He'd only drunk one glass of the whiskey-flavored synthetic blood when everyone had toasted the groom, but obviously the little chemist was better at making Vampire Fusion Cuisine than ingesting it. He'd promptly thrown up all over himself.
There wasn't much anyone could do for the poor guy, so the bachelor party had raged on in full force while Laszlo rolled on the floor, his face clammy and pale.
"Shall I help you move to the couch?" Jack asked.
"I might get blood on it," Laszlo mumbled.
Jack frowned at the rich upholstery on the Louis XV-style furniture. "It's already stained." What a mess. How would he ever clean this up?
He rose to his feet with a growing sense of doom. It had seemed like a great idea when he'd reserved an Edwardian suite at the Plaza on Fifth Avenue to celebrate Ian MacPhie's last night as a bachelor. But now he realized the hotel's housekeeping service would wonder how an innocent party could produce so many bloodstains.
Things had gotten out of hand after Dougal arrived with his bagpipes. Ian had insisted on teaching everyone a Scottish jig. A dozen tipsy Vamps hopping around with glasses full of Blissky had resulted in a few collisions and even more stains on the carpet andfurniture.
And then the phone call had come. The ladies were at Romatech Industries having a bridal shower, though Jack had heard that Vanda was bringing a male stripper from her Vamp nightclub. The ladies' party had come to an abrupt halt when Shanna Draganesti had suddenly gone into labor.
Before teleporting to Romatech, Roman Draganesti had lamented that he was too inebriated to help his wife in her time of need. This had caused the other guys to rally around, declaring their undying support with a rowdy fight song. Then a dozen drunken male Vamps had teleported to Shanna's side to cheer her on to victory.
Jack grinned as he imagined Shanna's reaction, but the moment quickly faded. He had two hours before the sun rose to get this hotel suite back to normal. A noise from the adjoining bedroom drew his attention. Had one of the guys stayed behind? Good, he could use the help. He strode into the luxurious bedroom and frowned at the naked VANNA lying on the bed, dripping Bleer on the satin comforter.
That had been Gregori's bright idea. He'd arrived at the party toting two Vampire Artificial Nutritional Needs Appliances, otherwise known as VANNAs. The lifelike rubber females were sex toys in the mortal world, but for Vamps, they'd been modified with a battery-operated circulatory system. Gregori had filled the two sexy dolls with beer-flavored synthetic blood, and then he'd invited the guys to have a bite. From the looks of the lacy clothes strewn about, the guys had had more fun undressing VANNA than nibbling on her.
A man's voice drifted from the bathroom. "Oh, yeah, baby. Take it off!"
Jack knocked on the bathroom door. "The party's over."
"The party's never over for Dr. Phang." The door opened, revealing Phineas McKinney. "What's up, bro?"
The young black Vamp looked debonair in his maroon velvet smoking jacket and white silk cravat, although the cavalier effect was marred somewhat by his SpongeBob boxer shorts. Like any vampire, Phineas didn't reflect in the bathroom's gold-framed mirror, but the second VANNA did. The dark-tinted doll was sitting on the white marble vanity, wearing nothing but red silk panties and a silly grin on her face.
Jack was distracted for a moment when he noticed the words on Phineas's shorts. Ladies dig the Sponge. "Ah, sorry to interrupt."
Phineas's face turned a bit red. "I was just practicing, you know. When you're the Love Doctor, you gotta keep your mojo in top condition."
"I bet you do." Phineas grabbed the black VANNA off the vanity. Her legs jutted stiffly forward like a Barbie doll, and he pushed them down. "I heard you're a real Casanova."
"So they say," Jack muttered. He could never escape his famous father's reputation. "I suppose you were too busy to hear, but Shanna went into labor. All the guys left with Roman. Except Laszlo. He's still sick."
"No shit?" Phineas strode into the bedroom with the black VANNA clasped under his arm.
"The sun will rise soon, so we need to clean up."
Phineas glanced at the white VANNA on the bed in a pool of Bleer. "Damn, bro. We need professionals for this. How about Vampy Maids? They clean Roman's townhouse."
"That would be great. Can you ring them?"
"Don't remember their number, but they're in the Black Pages."
They would never find the vampire version of a telephone book in the Plaza hotel. "Do you—" Jack was interrupted by a loud knock on the door.
"Expecting someone?" Phineas's eyes lit up. "Maybe some real women?"
"NYPD," a male voice shouted. "Open the door, please."
Jack sucked in a deep breath. Merda.
"Hot damn," Phineas whispered. "It's the po-po." He looked around frantically. "We're in deep shit."
"Relax," Jack whispered back. "I'll use mind control to get rid of them."
"I don't do well with the police." Phineas backed away. "I'm outta here, man."
"You're leaving?" Jack winced as the pounding on the door grew louder.
"Open the door now!" the police officer yelled.Secret Life of a Vampire. Copyright © by Kerrelyn Sparks. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.
Posted March 1, 2009
Anyone with Casanova's blood flowing through his head should be a great lover. Alas the incredible paramour's son Giacomo de Venezia must have somehow skipped the seduction gene. Known as Jack, instead of scoring with any woman he wants with the sophistication of his sire, he cannot get to the plate to swing the bat let alone hit a home run unless he uses his vampire skills to propel the female.
At a bachelor party, Jack and human police officer Lara Boucher meet when she sees blood all over the rug. He considers telling her the truth that what she sees is Bliskey, synthetic blood used by vampires like him, but decides it sounds too far-fetched so he turns to his vampiric magnetism to make her forget. Instead she ignores his power stunning him as humans always "obey". Instead he tries his dormant Casanova DNA to persuade the cop he is attracted to that he killed no one. When a college coed goes missing, the evidence points to Jack. With Lara believing in him, they investigate together. As they fall in love, they realize there have been other recent similar disappearances.
The latest Sparks urban fantasy tale is an exiting investigative thriller starring a likable but flawed vampire and the courageous mortal who proves his equal. Readers will know Jack as he struggles to be a chip off the old block until he meets the suspicious Lara. Together they make a formable team as they investigate the vanishings with Malcontents sightings. With a super late twist, Kerrelyn Sparks will take a large bout out of her fans sleep with this enjoyable in a one sitting thriller.
3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted March 12, 2013
Posted February 25, 2013
This starts out good but somewhere in the middle it gets cheesy and boring. I liked jacks character and initally liked lara but i found myself frustrated with her. Like another review mentioned i found myself skipping a lot.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted February 4, 2013
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Posted January 25, 2013
Posted December 30, 2012
Posted December 28, 2012
Posted June 29, 2012
OK, I almost did not read this book but once I start a series I feel obligated to give it a shot. I have never skimmed over so much material. This was so poorly written that I just wanted to cry. It was really written for the preteen or illiterate. No real plot and the female ,Lara, was a real drag. The author has a formula and she does not stray very far. It's really to bad she has an opportunity to develop each character but it just does not work for her. I think she should reconsider writing. I am not reading any more from this seriesWas this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted April 15, 2012
Since How to Marry a Millionaire Vampire, the saga continues about Vamps vs malcontents and the interactions between Vamps and humans. Love is a central theme throughout and it does conquer all. Kerrelyn Sparks' writing flows smoothly and her works are easy reads that provide a welcome respite to dealing with everyday pressures and problems. Highly recommended.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted March 16, 2012
Posted December 23, 2011
Posted December 14, 2011
kerrelyn sparks' 'love at stake' series never disappoints! once again the malcontents are causing trouble, however their leader was disposed of in the last story, and the new leader is even nastier! in the course of the battle between good and evil, romance flourishes once again. when you open the book and start to read, your attention will be captured until the story ends.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted October 28, 2011
Posted July 7, 2011
Posted June 18, 2011
Giacomo / Jack is the most interesting vamp back story of how he came to be a vamp in our dear series. Youu can not help but adore him and his playful ways. Lara is so far my favorite lady of the book series. She was no push over and she was smart while still being sassy. Grazie for Giacomo!!Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted May 16, 2011
Posted April 11, 2011
Posted February 2, 2011
Posted December 12, 2010