Secret Lovers; Affairs Happen...How to Cope / Edition 1

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Overview

A Myth Shattering Look At Long-Term Love Affairs

Affairs, because of their secret nature, go unspoken. This silence has forced those involved to cope with incredibly complex problems with no support or advice. Until now. Secret Lovers is an indispensable and nonjudgmental resource that takes an unflinching look at the dynamics of long-term affairs. Linquist delves deep into our most intimate and risky of behaviors and shows us why people risk their family and status for secret lovers.

"This fascinating book sheds light on a subject kept in the dark too long. Without judging, her research illuminates the patterns, the passions, and the pitfalls."—Bruce Hilton, bioethics columnist, San Francisco Examiner

"As one who has given professionals guidance in public affairs-and is well used to 'Inside the Beltway Political Scandal'-it's insightful to dip into Luann Linquist's fascinating work. Don't be misled by a provocative title. Her in-depth accounts should certainly be helpful to thousands. It's akin to overhearing restaurant conversations or, at times, being underneath the psychiatrist's couch. This is a serious work with important implications."—John Jay Daly, APR, Washington, D.C.

"Dr. Linquist uses a nonjudgmental approach to put secret love affairs in their proper place. This practical guide offers excellent advice to anyone who has had, is having, or wants to have and affair."—Rita Freedman, clinical psychologist and author of Beauty Bound and Bodylove

". . . Therapists will find this book of value in their professional practice."—Penelope Russianoff, clinical psychologist and author of When Am I Going to Be Happy

This intriguing book takes a new look at what really happens in afairs--how they begin, the stages they go through, and why they break up. This is a fascinating and rare glimpse at this secret side of life that portrays the positives as well as the risks involved in an affair of the heart.

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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

"This fascinating book sheds light on a subject kept in the dark too long. Without judging, her research illuminates the patterns, the passions, and the pitfalls." (Bruce Hilton, bioethics columnist, San Francisco Examiner)

". . . Therapists will find this book of value in their professional practice." (Penelope Russianoff, clinical psychologist and author of When Am I Going to Be Happy)

"As one who has given professionals guidance in public affairs-and is well used to 'Inside the Beltway Political Scandal'-it's insightful to dip into Luann Linquist's fascinating work. Don't be misled by a provocative title. Her in-depth accounts should certainly be helpful to thousands. It's akin to overhearing restaurant conversations or, at times, being underneath the psychiatrist's couch. This is a serious work with important implications." (John Jay Daly, APR, Washington, D.C.)

"Dr. Linquist uses a nonjudgmental approach to put secret love affairs in their proper place. This practical guide offers excellent advice to anyone who has had, is having, or wants to have and affair." (Rita Freedman, clinical psychologist and author of Beauty Bound and Bodylove)

Publishers Weekly - Publisher's Weekly
Linquist, San Francisco Bay area psychologist, specializes in counseling ``secret lovers'' and those whose lives they affect. Here she relates stories of extramarital affairs, discussing how they ``happen,'' offering suggestions for conducting a successful one and advice to the betrayed spouse. She maintains that an extramarital dalliance can improve a marriage, can supply a betrayed spouse the incentive to work at wooing back the straying mate. Alternately, the hurt caused by an affair may give the victim the strength to divorce and to build a new life, with self-confidence gained from enduring the experience. Believers in marital fidelity are likely to be put off by Linquist's admonition to those considering an extramarital affair that they ``need to be informed and understand what works best and what doesn't . . . people deserve to have the best experience they can.'' (May)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780787946418
  • Publisher: Wiley
  • Publication date: 1/28/1999
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Edition number: 1
  • Pages: 240
  • Product dimensions: 6.26 (w) x 9.41 (h) x 0.63 (d)

Meet the Author

LUANN LINQUIST, MFCC specializes in the mind-changing, life-lifting techniques that help people get rid of unwanted thoughts, feelings, and beliefs . . . quickly. In addition to her private practice in San Diego, she is a sought after corporate consultant, speaker, and coach. Her research and articles on relationships and business have won her numerous honors and awards.

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Table of Contents

1. Why Affairs?—And Why the Disapproval?

2. Common Patterns and Common Dreams.

3. In the Beginning.

4. The First Six Months: The Honeymoon Phase.

5. Working on Issues: The Transitional Phase.

6. The Long-Term Affair: The Maintenence Phase.

7. The End of the Affair.

8. After It's Over—And Looking Back.

9. How to Have a Successful Affair.

10. Healing.

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