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Product Details
| ISBN-13: | 9781741768978 |
|---|---|
| Publisher: | Allen & Unwin |
| Publication date: | 12/01/2009 |
| Sold by: | INDEPENDENT PUB GROUP - EPUB - EBKS |
| Format: | eBook |
| Pages: | 192 |
| File size: | 314 KB |
About the Author
Justin Langer is the author of From Outback to Outfield and The Power of Passion.
Read an Excerpt
Seeing the Sunrise
By Justin Langer
Allen & Unwin
Copyright © 2008 Justin LangerAll rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-74237-190-0
CHAPTER 1
SEEING THE SUNRISE
'The most pathetic person in the world is one who has sight but no vision.'
Helen Keller
His eyes said it all. It was 5.30 a.m., but they bored through me like those of a boxer just before an important bout. Sitting behind the wheel of his car, a cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth and the smoke forming clouds of haze in the cold dawn air, there was no doubt he meant business.
This was no title fight, but those stern eyes and the stony expression that went with them underlined the strength of his purpose. For the first time that morning my heart missed a beat.
I have always thought that the look in a person's eyes can tell a thousand stories, and that morning the story was one of intensity and purpose, coupled with a strange sort of love. I might still have been half-asleep, but those eyes told me this wasn't going to be your average morning.
My grandfather wasn't about to step into the ring; the fag and the grey, thinning hair gave that away. He was, though, about to teach me one of the most important lessons of my life.
'Pop' had always been my absolute hero. As I was growing up, he was someone to look up to, admire and love. He made the best boiled eggs and toast soldiers in the world, but he was also an ex-boxer, publican and tough old man who to me looked as strong and uncompromising as any man who'd ever lived. His heart was soft but his eyes hard, and on this particular morning I had never seen him look so serious.
I was scared of heights. In fact, I was petrified. Panic took hold as soon as my feet were anywhere above ground level. Pop had recognised this phobia and had told me that one day he would 'cure' me of my fear. That Saturday morning, there had been a loud knock on the front door. Like any teenage boy, I found the very idea of waking up and getting out of my warm bed at 5.00 a.m. unthinkable. The initial banging on the door might have woken me, but it was the footsteps creeping towards my bedroom that had the alarm bells ringing.
When I opened my eyes, Pop was standing at the edge of my bed beckoning me to wake up and get dressed. While my body was dragging itself out of sleep, my mind was racing. What was Pop doing in my room so early in the day?
Gradually, I focused my tired eyes on Pop's loving but stern face. When our eyes met, he explained that this morning was as good a time as any to cure me of my fear of heights.
'What?' was my initial reaction, 'What are you talking about?'
This problem of mine had been bugging him, he explained. It was time for me to trust him and come with him right away, before it was too late.
'Too late for what?' was my obvious reply, but one ignored by Pop.
'Get dressed, I'll see you in the car.'
After I had struggled into a T-shirt and pair of tracksuit pants, I made my way outside to find those eyes staring through the front windscreen. Pop was on a mission. It was still dark and cold, but after a nod to each other we were off.
For the next 15 minutes we drove towards the centre of town in silence. Pop must have sensed my discomfort, but still he stared straight ahead, quiet determination etched on his face. Finally, we pulled up outside a construction site which had a large sign out front: 'KEEP OUT — CONSTRUCTION IN PROGRESS'.
That early on a Saturday morning, there wasn't a soul to be seen. 'Come with me,' Pop said, as he moved towards a dusty concrete doorway. My apprehension was growing by the second. The sight of this ghostly, 20-storey structure, combined with the realisation that my grandfather was going to 'cure' me of my fear of heights, made me want to run from that construction site as fast as my teenage legs would take me. My body's 'flight or fight' mechanism was starting to kick in; only the sheer respect I had for my grandfather kept me following him.
Like a sullen but obedient puppy I followed Pop through the entrance and up the first flight of stairs. On our way up to the first landing I meekly suggested that it might be possible for him to cure me of my fear from the ground floor. Shaking his head, he slowly but firmly told me that this was a lesson I had to experience first-hand. I had to do exactly as he said, if I was to grow and develop from this day forward.
'You never really know the taste of sugar until you try it,' he said. 'You can be told what it's like, but unless you taste it, you can't really understand it. Today is no different — you won't be cured unless you face your fear front on and experience everything the fear is teaching you about yourself.'
As scared as I could ever remember being, I reluctantly followed Pop to the first landing. The stairwell was open to the elements and my heart was racing as we climbed towards the second ... third ... fourth ... fifth level of the construction.
As we got further and further from the ground my heart was thumping so hard it felt like it would burst through my chest and land on the grimy floor. The palms of my hands were as clammy as a smelly old cricket sock after training. Every upward step turned my legs to jelly. By the time we reached the tenth floor, my head was aching like a sprained ankle and my mouth was as dry as desert sand. By the fifteenth floor, sweat was pouring out of every pore in my body. Demons were crawling around my mind, gorging themselves on my fear. During the final stages of this nightmarish climb, I went from holding onto the walls with both hands to crawling on all fours to slithering like a snake, my chest not leaving the cold concrete steps.
When we finally reached the top floor, I came face to face with an open landing whose brick walls were no more than a metre high. Pop reached down, grabbed my hands and pulled me to my feet. As I stood up, my stomach was churning and I was almost overcome by nausea.
'Pull yourself together,' was all the relief Pop offered me. 'I want you to muster all the courage you have and walk over to the edge.'
'You must be kidding,' I said. My world was spinning out of control.
As only Pop could, he held me by the shoulders and looked straight into my eyes.
'Do you trust me, son?'
Of course I trusted him. But I didn't trust myself and the death I was sure was waiting for me when I fell over that edge.
'Take one step at a time,' Pop ordered. 'Go over to the edge of the building and listen for my command.'
There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. I crept like a snail towards that brick wall. After what seemed like forever, I made it. Pop asked me to grab the wall and look down at the ground. I held onto that wall until my knuckles were as white as winter snow and my muscles as tense as a tightrope. Somehow I turned my head downwards.
After a couple of seconds that felt more like an eternity, I turned around and was again on all fours, creeping away from the edge, ready to throw up everywhere. Before long, Pop was standing over me, asking how I felt. 'Just like I always do every time I'm off the ground,' I responded. 'Like I'm going to die.'
'Okay, now I want you to get up and walk over to that edge,' he said, pointing to the other side of the building. 'And again, listen to my voice.'
I was almost crying. I asked Pop if he had listened to what I had just said; if he realised what he was doing to me. I felt I was being tortured, and the worst thing was that it wasn't by the enemy, but by someone I loved and respected as much as anyone in this world. It was the ultimate betrayal.
Pop begged me to trust him, telling me that my ordeal was almost over. This one last effort would be worth all the pain.
Fuelled by my anger, and determination to bring this nightmare to an end, I eventually dragged myself to my feet and headed towards the eastern edge. The same intense fear ran through my nerves as I held onto the brickwork as tightly as a beggar holds onto his last penny. This time, as I tried to summon the courage to look down, Pop's voice rang through my ears ...
'Justin, this time don't look down. Look up.'
I raised my eyes and the next moment I was gazing out at the magnificent red, orange, pink and apricot colours of the rising sun. It was as if I'd never seen a sunrise before; I was completely awestruck. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and I stood spellbound, looking out into the distance, admiring this remarkable view of what was for me a whole 'new world'.
All too soon a light touch woke me from my trance. Pop was standing next to me, asking me how I felt.
I wasn't crawling on the ground like a scared baby. I was standing upright, feeling relaxed and cherishing the moment. Instead of being afraid for my life I felt secure and safe, free of the nightmare that had been haunting me such a short time before.
With his arm around me, Pop explained that he had not only cured my fear of heights but he had also taught me one of the most important lessons that I would ever learn:
You must always look to where you want to go, rather than where you don't want to go. By looking down at the ground all you were seeing was the long fall, a heavy landing and the pain that comes with such a fall. If you can learn to always look where you want to go — in other words, look at the sunrise rather than the ground below — then you will find that all of your fears, not only the fear of heights, will disappear forever.
Pop died a few years after our visit to the 'construction site of doom'. While I miss him, his spirit lives within me because I think of his lesson nearly every day. There is rarely a day when negative thoughts don't enter my mind, but when I am confronted by my fears, my demons, I remind myself of my grandfather's words: 'See the sunrise, son, see the sunrise.'
CHAPTER 2THE LAW OF ATTRACTION
'A man who has attained mastery of an art reveals it in his every action.'
Samurai maxim
Without knowing it, my Pop was teaching me about the 'law of attraction'. Commonly defined, the law of attraction describes 'people experiencing the corresponding manifestations of their predominant thoughts, feelings, words, and actions'. The theory is that we have direct control over reality and our lives through the way we think.
While a lot of people associate such a concept with New Age or positive thinking, I am convinced that what has happened in my life until now has been directly associated with what has been going on in my mind.
What I have learned is that the human mind doesn't know the difference between a negative picture and a positive picture; it only knows the messages and signals that I am giving it. The picture that I paint of where I want to go in life is exactly where the universe will conspire to take me.
A great example of the law of attraction is the journey of my cricket career. My life ambition was to play cricket for Australia. Over the last 14 years there were times when I was in the team and other times when I was not. Looking back, I am certain the periods when I was dropped and, conversely, the times when I was selected, were products of my thinking.
The first time I wore my baggy green cap, against the West Indies in Adelaide in 1992–93, was the realisation of a youthful dream. Three months later, fearful thoughts of losing my position manifested into reality when I was dropped from the Australian squad for the 1993 Ashes tour. Over time, the dominant thought or image of me regaining my place in the team tipped the scales back in my favour and through hard work and perseverance I was selected again.
At the time I was dropped in 2001, my worry about losing my position in the team and the ramifications of such an outcome had clouded my thinking for at least 12 months before it actually happened. The fear of loss had become the dominant thought and guess what eventually happened? Once I was dropped, those fears disappeared and were replaced again with a strong determination to get back into the team.
Bob Doyle, the creator of the Wealth Beyond Reason program, says: 'The law of attraction doesn't care whether you perceive something to be good or bad, or whether you don't want it or whether you do want it. It's responding to your thoughts. So if you're looking at a mountain of debt, feeling terrible about it, that's the signal you're putting out to the universe. "I feel really bad because of all this debt I've got." You're just affirming it to yourself. That's what you're going to get more of.'
This is a challenging concept, but I believe the reality is that you move towards whatever you focus on. When I am batting at the crease, if I think about the ball hitting me, I am thinking about getting hurt. Invariably, I will be hit because I am not focusing on what I need to focus on: hitting the ball. If I devote all my attention to hitting the ball, all my fears will be eliminated because I am focusing on what I want to do, and I have no time or energy for my fears.
In this sense, hitting a cricket ball is no different to anything else in life. My former fear of heights is no different to any other fear of failure. Everyone is scared of something; I believe that having the courage to find a strategy to release that fear is the key. In my mind, I paint a picture of where I want to go rather than where I don't want to go. By focusing on that perfect picture, I don't have time to worry about the alternative negative path my mind could easily retreat to.
Painting a positive picture in my mind also allows me to overcome obstacles and distractions. Regularly reassessing where I want to go with my life allows me to deal more gracefully with disruptions, and focusing on the positive allows me to see problems either as a blip on the radar or an opportunity to learn.
CHAPTER 3GOALS WITH WINGS
'What you focus on in your life grows and what you think about expands. And the things you invest your intention in, grow in importance ...'
Anon
I am told that, as a young boy, I would inform anyone who would listen that one day I would play cricket for Australia. Every summer, I would run around the backyard with my brothers, pretending to be one of my cricket heroes. If these champions had the ability to play fantastic shots or bowl like the wind, why couldn't I?
On Boxing Day 1981, the great Dennis Lillee famously bowled Viv Richards with the last ball of the day's play at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. I was watching on television, and straightaway my 11-year-old imagination went wild. All I could think about was the dream of emulating one of my two favourite Gladiators: Viv or Dennis. To this day, I can still see Dennis running in to bowl. I can see Viv's dismissal and I can see 10 jubilant Australian cricketers thumping Dennis on the back. I can see the crowd roaring in the background and I can feel the good old-fashioned Aussie mateship of the players. Most importantly, in my memory they are all wearing their baggy green caps.
That one image of celebration and camaraderie still conjures up strong memories and emotions for me. For years I wondered what it must have been like to be one of those Australian players, to experience the smell of the MCG grass, the noise of the crowd, the excitement and joy of the moment.
That moment in time gave me a direction for where I wanted to go. Yes, it was a boyhood dream, but even today the events of that Boxing Day Test sum up why I love and play the game. The contest, the tension, the celebration, the joy, the fame, the atmosphere and — most importantly — the mateship and the baggy green cap motivate me every day.
On the days when I question why I put up with the struggle, the disappointments, the criticism and the tension that are a part of sporting life, it is still that image which pulls me out of the abyss of negativity and self-doubt. It helps me to re-focus my mind on where I want to go and what I want to achieve.
I don't know what I would do if I lost the ability to dream. Dreaming of where I want to go in my life and what I want to achieve inspires the direction I will take. Someone once said that 'every sculpture or work of art starts as a dream or picture in the mind of the artist'; the same applies to my day-to-day life.
Steve Waugh often told me how he would visualise a score on the scoreboard before a Test had even started. It was as though he had completed his innings before he went out to bat. Picturing and feeling the score beforehand enabled him to achieve exactly what he wanted during the match.
Justin Hogan, a friend of mine who is a sports psychologist, once described it this way:
Having the outcome or goal in mind allows you to make the visual/experiential connection between the outcome/ goal and the physical feeling required, the actual process, to get to the outcome/goal you have in your mind. It is not seeing the picture as if you were watching; it is you actually experiencing the moment before it actually happens. In cricket terms, it is the smell of the grass, the heat in the air, the relaxed muscles of your body, the energy of each shot, the dampness of your perspiration, your mild anxiety, the colours and noise of the crowd. You see and feel the ball onto the bat and see it racing away for runs, just as you see and feel the tightness and control of a defensive shot against a very good ball.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Seeing the Sunrise by Justin Langer. Copyright © 2008 Justin Langer. Excerpted by permission of Allen & Unwin.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Table of Contents
Prelude: More than a Game ix
Introduction: I am Justin Langer 1
1 Seeing the Sunrise 6
2 The Law of Attraction 13
3 Goals with Wings 16
A Recipe for Dreamers 19
4 Focus 20
5 Planting The Seed 24
Three Words 28
6 Synergy 30
Mind Over Matter 35
7 The Ball 37
8 White Noise 42
Black Noise 47
9 Out of Form 48
10 In form 54
11 Self-Talk 59
12 Mental Toughness 62
The Man in the Glass 68
13 Constant Improvement 69
Two Boys, One Bear 73
14 Courage 74
Discipline and Courage 80
15 The Tattoo Man 81
Simplicity 85
16 Worry 86
17 Imbalance 90
18 Balance 96
The Contented Fisherman 100
19 Respect 101
20 First Impressions 107
No Room for Error 110
21 Learership 111
22 Team Work 117
23 Critics 120
24 Conquering Haste 125
25 Luck 129
26 Health 134
27 Perspective 137
278 Magic Moments 141
29 Life Goes on 146
30 The Perfect Day 149
Tuesdays with Poppy 156
31 For My Kids 158
Acknowledgements 161