The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance

Overview

Kids today are depressed and anxious. They also feel entitled to every advantage and unwilling to make the leap into adulthood. As Polly Young-Eisendrath makes clear in this brilliant account of where a generation has gone astray, parents trying to make their children feel special are unwittingly interfering with their kids' ability to accept themselves and cope with life. Clarifying an enormous cultural change, THE SELFESTEEM TRAP shows why so many young people have trouble with empathy and compassion, struggle ...

See more details below
Paperback (Reprint)
$11.99
BN.com price
(Save 20%)$14.99 List Price
Other sellers (Paperback)
  • All (23) from $1.99   
  • New (10) from $3.92   
  • Used (13) from $1.99   
The Self-Esteem Trap: Raising Confident and Compassionate Kids in an Age of Self-Importance

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • NOOK HD/HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK Study
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$9.99
BN.com price

Overview

Kids today are depressed and anxious. They also feel entitled to every advantage and unwilling to make the leap into adulthood. As Polly Young-Eisendrath makes clear in this brilliant account of where a generation has gone astray, parents trying to make their children feel special are unwittingly interfering with their kids' ability to accept themselves and cope with life. Clarifying an enormous cultural change, THE SELFESTEEM TRAP shows why so many young people have trouble with empathy and compassion, struggle with moral values, and are stymied in the face of adversity. Young-Eisendrath off ers prescriptive advice on how adults can help kids-through the teen and young adult years-develop self-worth, setting them on the right track to productive, balanced, and happy lives.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

Young-Eisendrath, a Vermont-based Jungian analyst, practicing Buddhist and author (Women and Desire), identifies a "threatening and perplexing problem" she calls the self-esteem trap. Today's children and young adults are suffering from a number of symptoms, including obsessive self-focus, restless dissatisfaction, pressures to be exceptional, unreadiness to accept responsibilities and feelings of either superiority or inferiority. According to the author, instead of contentment and positive self-regard, kids raised to believe they are extraordinary or "special" are more likely to be unhappy and disappointed. Being "ordinary" and realizing one's connection to the human community is the real key to happiness, she argues, and cultivating the qualities of generosity, discipline, patience, diligence, concentration and wisdom will lead to children who are self-confident and content. She also warns against parents who "run interference," protecting their children from inevitable disappointments. Instead, letting kids develop autonomy and experience the consequences of their decisions, she claims, is the way to go. At times, Young-Eisendrath's scope seems unwieldy, but her message rings true. (Sept.)

Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
Library Journal

Psychologist and Jungian analyst Young-Eisendrath (Women and Desire: Beyond Wanting To Be Wanted) is onto something big. Those born between 1970 and 2000 (Gen Me-ers), she argues, are a vastly discontented group who find their lives unsatisfying and feel entitled to success owing to an overestimation of what the world will bring. She views this as a cultural problem begun in the 1980s when the collapse of the traditional parental hierarchy coincided with a hyperfocus on self-esteem. Today's parents offer too much approval and enthusiasm for simply their children's existence, disrupting kids' growing abilities to accept realistically both their strengths and their weaknesses, which is the true foundation of self-esteem. Young-Eisendrath sees the solution in a return to being "ordinary," as this is rooted in "wisdom about our human condition and a knowledge of how we are all connected." While the text sometimes wanders, it is a pleasure to forgive. This is well written, accessible, soundly researched, and beautifully insightful in the vein of Irvin Yalom (The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy). Easily placed in parenting, social science, or psychology collections; recommended for all libraries.
—Julianne J. Smith

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780316013123
  • Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
  • Publication date: 9/2/2009
  • Edition description: Reprint
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 590,489
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.25 (h) x 0.75 (d)

Meet the Author

Polly Young-Eisendrath, a Jungian analyst and psychotherapist, is the author of 13 books (translated into 20 languages), including The Resilient Spirit and Women and Desire. She lives in Burlington, VT.

Read More Show Less

Table of Contents


Introduction     3
The Trouble with Being Special     17
The Roots of the Problem     37
The Importance of Adversity     58
The Necessity of Conscience and Virtue     82
Autonomy and Emotional Maturity     107
The Value of Being Ordinary     125
Religion and Reverence     147
Love and Its Near Enemy     169
The Truth About Happiness     191
Acknowledgments     210
Notes     213
Bibliography     231
Index     241
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Be the first to write a review
( 0 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(0)

4 Star

(0)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 30, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 3, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted December 28, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 3 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)