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Following in the tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me) and Barbara Ehrenreich (Nickel and Dimed), Norah Vincent absorbed a cultural experience and reported back on what she observed incognito. For more than a year and a half she ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o'clock shadow, a crew cut, wire-rim glasses, and her own size 111/2 shoes-a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. The result is a sympathetic, shrewd, and thrilling tour de force of immersion journalism that's destined to challenge preconceptions and attract enormous attention.
With her buddies on the bowling league she enjoyed the rough and rewarding embrace of male camaraderie undetectable to an outsider. A stint in a high-octane sales job taught her the gut- wrenching pressures endured by men who would do anything to succeed. She frequented sex clubs, dated women hungry for love but bitter about men, and infiltrated all- male communities as hermetically sealed as a men's therapy group, and even a monastery. Narrated in her utterly captivating prose style and with exquisite insight, humor, empathy, nuance, and at great personal cost, Norah uses her intimate firsthand experience to explore the many remarkable mysteries of gender identity as well as who men are apart from and in relation to women. Far from becoming bitter or outraged, Vincent ended her journey astounded-and exhausted-by the rigid codes and rituals of masculinity. Having gone where no woman (who wasn't an aspiring or actual transsexual) has gone for any significant length of time, let alone eighteen months, Norah Vincent's surprising account is an enthralling reading experience and a revelatory piece of anecdotally based gender analysis that is sure to spark fierce and fascinating conversation.
Praise for Norah Vincent:
"Norah Vincent is a true freethinker and independent journalist in the European manner, challenging prevailing assumptions in academe, politics, and media. Her work has always had a bold skepticism and energy. She is a model of pragmatic, enlightened feminism."
-Camille Paglia
The idea for this book came to me then, when I went out for the first time in drag. I was living in the East Village at the time, undergoing a significantly delayed adolescence, drinking and drugging a little too much, and indulging in all the sidewalk freak show opportunities that New York City has to offer.
Back then I was hanging around a lot with a drag king whom I had met through friends. She used to like to dress up and have me take pictures of her in costume. One night she dared me to dress up with her and go out on the town. I'd always wanted to try passing as a man in public, just to see if I could do it, so I agreed enthusiastically.
She had developed her own technique for creating a beard whereby you cut half inch chunks of hair from unobtrusive parts of your own head, cut them into smaller pieces, and then more or less glopped them onto your face with spirit gum. Using a small round freestanding mirror on her desk, she showed me how to do it in the dim, greenish light of her cramped studio apartment. It wasn't at all precise and it wouldn't have passed muster in the daylight, but it was good enough for the stage, and it would work well enough for our purposes in dark bars at night. I made myself a goatee and mustache, and a pair of baroque sideburns. I put on a baseball cap, loose-fitting jeans and a flannel shirt. In the full-length mirror I looked like a frat boy-sort of.
She did her thing-which was more willowy and soft, more like a young hippie guy who couldn't really grow much of a beard-and we went out like that for a few hours.
We passed, as far as I could tell, but I was too afraid to really interact with anyone, except to give one guy brief directions on the street. He thanked me as "dude" and walked on.
Mostly though we just walked the streets of the Village scanning people's faces to see if anyone took a second or third look. But no one did. And that, oddly enough, was the thing that struck me the most about that evening. It was the only thing of real note that happened. But it was significant.
I had lived in that neighborhood for years, walking its streets where men lurk outside of bodegas, on stoops and in doorways much of the day. As a woman, you couldn't walk down those streets invisibly. You were an object of desire or at least semiprurient interest to the men who waited there, even if you weren't pretty-that, or you were just another piece of pussy to be put in its place. Either way, their eyes followed you all the way up and down the street, never wavering, asserting their dominance as a matter of course. If you were female and you lived there, you got used to being stared down, because it happened every day and there wasn't anything you could do about it.
But that night in drag, we walked by those same stoops and doorways and bodegas. We walked right by those same groups of men. Only this time they didn't stare. On the contrary, when they met my eyes they looked away immediately and concertedly and never looked back. It was astounding, the difference, the respect they showed me by not looking at me, by purposely not staring.
That was it. That was what had annoyed me so much about meeting their gaze as a woman, not the desire, if that was ever there, but the disrespect, the entitlement. It was rude, and it was meant to be rude, and seeing those guys looking away deferentially when they thought I was male, I could validate in retrospect the true hostility of their former stares.
But that wasn't quite all there was to it. There was something more than plain respect being communicated in their averted gaze, something subtler, less direct. It was more like a disinclination to show disrespect. For them, to look away was to decline a challenge, to adhere to a code of behavior that kept the peace among human males in certain spheres just as surely as it kept the peace and the pecking order among male animals. To look another male in the eye and hold his gaze is to invite conflict, either that or a homosexual encounter. To look away is to accept the status quo, to leave each man to his tiny sphere of influence, the small buffer of pride and poise that surrounds and keeps him.
I surmised all of this the night it happened, but in the weeks and months that followed I asked most of the men I knew whether I was right, and they agreed, adding usually that it wasn't something they thought about anymore, if they ever had. It was just something you learned or absorbed as a boy, and by the time you were a man, you did it without thinking.
After the whole incident had blown over, I started thinking that if in such a short time in drag I had learned such an important secret about the way males and females communicate with each other, and about the unspoken codes of male experience, then couldn't I potentially observe much more about the social differences between the sexes if I passed as a man for a much longer period of time? It seemed true, but I wasn't intrepid enough yet to do something that extreme. Besides it seemed impossible, both psychologically and practically, to pull it off. So I filed the information away in my mind for a few more years and got on with other things.
Then, in the winter of 2003, while watching a reality television show on the A& E network, the idea came back to me. In the show, two male and two female contestants set out to transform themselves into the opposite sex-not with hormones or surgeries, but purely by costume and design. The women cut their hair. The men had theirs extended. Both took voice and movement lessons to try to learn how to speak and behave more like the sex they were trying to become. All chose new wardrobes, personas and names for their alter egos. The bulk of the program focused on the outward transformations, though the point at the end was to see who could pass in the real world most effectively. Neither of the men really passed, and only one of the women stayed the course. She did manage to pass fairly well, though only for a short time and in carefully controlled circumstances.
But, as in most reality television programs, especially the American ones, nobody involved was particularly introspective about the effect their experiences had had on them or the people around them. It was clear that the producers didn't have much interest in the deeper sociologic implications of passing as the opposite sex. It was all just another version of an extreme make-over. Once the stunt was accomplished-or not-the show was over.
But for me, watching the show brought my former experience in drag to the forefront of my mind again and made me realize that passing in costume in the daylight could be possible with the right help. I knew that writing a book about passing in the world as a man would give me the chance to explore some of the unexplored territory that the show had left out, and that I had barely broached in my brief foray in drag years before.
I was determined to give the idea a try.
(Continues...)
Excerpted from Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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I believe that Vincent's Self-Made Man is a compelling work of research that must have taken a lot out of her to write and research. I believe that Vincent's word choice was extremely well thought out, and the ideas in her book were sociological genius. I know that cross dressing for research has been done before, but it gave new insight for a woman who rarely understands men. I believe it gave a small window into the brain of a man, and a wake up call to any woman: sometimes women are just as bad as men say we are :P
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Posted November 15, 2009
Enjoyed parts but felt it was too descriptive for me. In all fairness, that was probably the appeal to most and necessary for this type of book.
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Posted September 6, 2009
Reads like a novel. I particularly enjoyed reflecitons on hierarchy and power within a monestery. I draw no conclusions and value the contribution as a means by which to continue dialog between friends and in discussion groups. Not at all a feminist document. I have much more compassion and respect for the mysteries of the 'nature' of gender.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Ms. Vincent explores territory never explored. Many of her experiences are obvious to me as a man, but she taught me more of those experiences that I consider normal. It was interesting to see how a woman views those same customs. She is well rounded in Sociology, Philosophy and various areas, especially English! She uses many big words that were not in my vocabulary, so keep your dictionary near by. One can learn a lot about gender roles from Vincent. She risked some danger by deceiving people and she maintained (as much as possible) an ethical standard. I would have liked to see some pictures of herself and her alter ego (not of her subjects), as is there are none of anybody. She infiltrates a bowling league, the dating scene, a monastary, a mens "self help/I have problems with females group" (quotations are mine) and a scam job that is run on testosterone. Vincent is honest and fair. It would be equally interesting to read from a straight woman's experience. Strongly recommended.
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Posted February 23, 2009
I really enjoyed this book. When I first picked it up, I expected it to be very anti-male, but in fact was really impressed with Ms. Vincent's compassion for the "male plight" such as it is. She took a very objective approach and, frankly, was incredibly brave to actually try to "be" a man in various situations. I was also impressed with her ethical concerns about fooling people, etc. She was remarkably open about her own feelings during the process. I would genuinely like to meet her and hear more about it.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.some interesting parts, but it's from a narrow perspective. i'd like to see this study done by a woman who prefers gentlemen.
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Posted September 16, 2008
This book is well-written with an interesting concept. But the best parts are all the surprises learned along the way, not just about men but about how we as women think of them. The authors preconceived notions (and mine as well, to be honest) were blasted away time and time again. There was a sad feeling that lingered in your stomach long after you read the chapter on strip clubs. There was a sense of greater appreciation for the 'small town average Joe' after the chapter about joining a men's bowling league. And the chapter on dating explains women and what we expect out of a partner viewed from the outside on, and helps you to evaluate yourself in a relationship (or especially if you are single and looking). Norah seems like a genuine good person who is not too proud to admit that the men she encountered happily surprised her, and perhaps we as women could stand to learn a thing or two about them. A brilliant study on gender roles, and EXPECTED gender roles. Plus, she looks cute as hell in drag!
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Posted June 12, 2008
This book mde me look at men and say 'wow, i love u!' I never realized eveyrthing that goes on their minds and how different they are from women. I never really gave it a second thought on how differently they think. A very good read and its interesting :) you wont b bored!
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Posted August 4, 2007
The beginning of this book starts off great and entertaining presenting many ideas, however, after half way, the ideas start becoming subjective instead of objective. It also becomes more of a summary and story than anything like most people here claim. As Norah stated it is not a serious analytical look at male vs female. Many of her ideas are affected by her 'sex' and sexuality. I cannot tell you what to read and not to read, but if you like to read a summary style book then this might be for you.
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Posted April 10, 2007
some interesting parts, but it's from a narrow perspective. i'd like to see this study done by a woman who prefers gentlemen.
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Posted August 5, 2006
I thought this was a remarkable book. The trials and pitfalls of being 'male' were related in a quirky, personal way that is guaranteed to hold your interest. I look forward to reading more of the author's work.
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Posted July 13, 2006
I thought this was one of the worst books I've ever read. I was forced to read it for our book club and I was miserable the entire time. I read an average of two books a week and I couldn't finish this one for anything. Don't even bother wasting your time. The author was deceiving and vindictive and I would think that those she deceived would be exceptionally angry with her. Just an outright horrible book the whole way around.
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Think 'Black Like Me' the story by a white man who colored his skin and passed as a black to find out what life was really like for African Americans almost 50 years ago. Or, even think Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. Now, listen to Norah Vincent, an up-front columnist for The Los Angeles Times, who passed as a man and discovered what the guys were up to when the gals weren't around. This was not an easy task nor one that Vincent took lightly - she did exercises to bulk up her shoulders, got a semi crewcut, pasted on a realistic facial stubble, and even took lessons from a Juilliard voice coach to pick up on 'male sounds.' In this guise Norah who became Ned joined a bowling team, ogled the girlies at strip clubs, participated in a men's consciousness raising retreat (drums and all) and, yes, dated women. It began, she tells us, when a friend talked her into dressing as a man and going for an after dark walk in New York's East Village. She well knew that a woman strolling down those same streets would have elicited catcalls and maybe more from the sidewalk oglers. But, as a man no one gave her a second glance. So, perspicacious journalist that she is she began to wonder what she might learn if she actually spent some time in the mysterious world of men. Listen to what she discovered as she looks back on her time in the bastions of the boys. (No extra charge for the Juilliard schooled voice narrative). - Gail Cooke
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Posted January 24, 2006
Don't think of this as a gimmick: Self-Made Man is a serious analysis of gender and gender roles in America. The author dressed as a man to 'pass' in America, and analyzed her experiences and interactions with men and women from the perspective of her male alter ego. The book is hugely entertaining, laugh-out loud funny in spots, but also contains insightful analysis of gender and gender roles. If you don't learn a thing or two from this book, you just aren't trying.
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Posted January 24, 2006
Norah Vincent brings a very human element to what appears on its face to be a stunt. Her courage in opening herself up to the folks she met as Ned helped her make fast friends with the true subjects of her book. She brilliantly uses Ned as an effective tool for gaining honest, heartfelt reactions from both her cast of acquaintances and her readers. This book is moving in a way I never would have expected and truly worth reading.
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Posted January 23, 2006
Don't be thrown off by the hype: although this book sounds gimmicky -- reporter dresses as a man to learn what it's like in a man's world -- Norah Vincent is a respected journalist and a top-notch writer. Self-Made Man hooks you from the first page as Vincent 'passes' in such varied settings as a monastery, a guys-only bowling league and a high-pressure sales job. You'll will laugh out loud in spots but you will also find Vincent's insights to be thought-provoking. A fun read that'll teach you a thing or two.
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Posted January 26, 2006
I took this book out at the library in hopes of liking it enough to buy it. I read it while walking on a treadmill, vegging out after work. I thought it would be a good read, but after reading about half of the book, the story kind of drops and was very boring. I was expecting more humor, dialoge, and a position from the author when really it was written like a story.
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Posted January 20, 2006
Norah Vincent is a respected journalist who decided to experience life as a man by going under cover disguised as one. 'Self-Made Man' is her memoir of what it's like to be a man in today's America. Vincent writes with humor and sensitivity about the people she encountered. Her story is compelling: where else will a woman find out what a strip club, or a monastery, or a men's bowling league is really like? But Vincent takes it to the next level by applying her incisive intellect and producing thought-provoking insights about gender and gender roles. A terrific read and one that may make you think.
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Posted January 15, 2006
A spellbinding protrayal of a woman's time spent living in the guise of a man. Thoughtful, insightful, and entertaining, at times laugh-out-loud funny, yet full of nuanced insights about gender and gender roles in American society.
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Posted March 11, 2009
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Overview
Following in the tradition of John Howard Griffin (Black Like Me) and Barbara Ehrenreich (Nickel and Dimed), Norah Vincent absorbed a cultural experience and reported back on what she observed incognito. For more than a year and a half she ventured into the world as Ned, with an ever-present five o'clock shadow, a crew cut, wire-rim glasses, and her own size 111/2 shoes-a perfect disguise that enabled her to observe the world of men as an insider. The result is a sympathetic, shrewd, and thrilling tour de force of immersion journalism that's destined to challenge preconceptions and attract enormous attention.
With her buddies on the bowling league she ...