The Self Matters Companion: Helping You Create Your Life From the Inside Out

The Self Matters Companion: Helping You Create Your Life From the Inside Out

4.3 6
by Phillip C. McGraw

The #1 New York Times bestselling Self Matters laid the groundwork for a new way of thinking and talking about ourselves. Now, with this unique companion readers can continue their journey toward the "authentic self."

Dr. Phil McGraw grabbed the attention of the entire country with his phenomenal #1 bestseller Self Matters. In that


The #1 New York Times bestselling Self Matters laid the groundwork for a new way of thinking and talking about ourselves. Now, with this unique companion readers can continue their journey toward the "authentic self."

Dr. Phil McGraw grabbed the attention of the entire country with his phenomenal #1 bestseller Self Matters. In that groundbreaking work, Phil's no-nonsense style forced us to ask those questions we had avoided for too long: Who are we really? Where do the fears, insecurities, and doubts come from that prevent us from becoming who we want to be? And most important, how do we let go of those burdens to rediscover our "authentic self"? With more than 1.5 million copies sold, Self Matters is one of the most powerful works available directing us to the answers. With The Self Matters Companion, readers will have the chance to dig deeper into the questions, concepts, and exercises that empowered them in Self Matters. Self Matters created a new language and a new way of thinking. Now, The Self Matters Companion takes self-awareness to the next level with a variety of interactive exercises, focusing on such issues as:

  • Identifying the content of your Personal Truth
  • Reprogramming your life pattern so you can create the future you want
  • Identifying key areas of conflict between Fictional vs. Authentic living
Much more than a workbook or journal, this guide is a real companion. It provides the perfect tools, for finding the life you deserve.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
For this handsome volume, the truth truly is in the title: it's the sidekick to "Dr. Phil's" bestselling Self Matters. The author asks readers to re-read chapters from his previous book before doing the exercises in this one; hence, without a copy of Self Matters, this workbook won't do much good. Disappointingly-and despite its fairly high price-this book is half empty (it leaves space for the reader to scribble answers to its questions) and needlessly repetitive. The exercises themselves ask solid, garden-variety questions (typical examples include lingering ellipses such as, "I am happiest when... " and "A time when I felt really special to someone was when I... "). McGraw's many avid fans may want to consider making a smaller investment by purchasing a plain notebook and doing the exercises in Self Matters on their own. (Sept. 17) Copyright 2003 Cahners Business Information.

Product Details

Free Press
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
6.32(w) x 9.52(h) x 0.84(d)

Read an Excerpt


Millions of you have launched into the process of Self Matters, creating your life from the inside out, and your e-mails and lectures have been both humbling and inspiring. Now, your learning about yourself and your relationship with yourself is about to go to the next level. You began an amazing process when you worked through your ten defining moments, your seven critical choices, and your five pivotal people. You continued that journey by looking at the internal factors that dictate and control your responses to those events. I'm back with more to say about you, who you have become and how you got there, and I'm doing it because you have asked me to do so.

I refer to getting real about your authentic self as a process because it has a beginning but hopefully it has no end. This process is something that will become part of you managing you. The Self Matters Companion is designed to make this process part of your everyday life. It is designed to make this process something that becomes not just an exercise you once did but instead something that defines your commitment to living by design.

As the Life Law says, you either get it or you don't, and "getting it" means that you answer every question as completely and thoroughly as possible. That means that you have to add two very important patterns to your behavior. You must begin to consciously monitor yourself on a day-to-day basis, observing not only what you do but also how and why you do it. You must also constantly compare and contrast your actual real-world life with that which your authentic self desires and requires.

Having read so many of your letters, I also know that a fair number of you did not complete all of the assignments in Self Matters. (I'm sure you are the dutiful exception!) This is your chance to close any gaps in your understanding and build on what you already know.

I have said that the most important relationship you will ever have in this world is the one you have with yourself. In addition to this relationship being the most important one you'll ever have, I also want it to be the most successful one you will ever have. There is a very important formula for success in a relationship, and this formula applies whether the relationship you're managing is with yourself or with someone else. Here's the formula:

The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is based on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.

As you embark on making the Self Matters Companion part of your daily life, think about how that formula can apply to you "companioning" you.

The first element of the formula, "based on a solid underlying friendship," is, I think, particularly intriguing when we are talking about what kind of friend you are to you.

Think about what characterizes your closest friendships with others. I'm betting that in those closest and most pleasing relationships, you, if you're a good friend, are accepting, devoted, loyal, fun-loving, honest, and genuine.

That is the goal and definition I hope you will carry forward in "companioning" yourself. This life has not and will not be a success-only journey. Not even close. If you bail on "you" when you observe less than desirable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors, you will be in big, big trouble. Do not be a fair-weather friend to yourself. Do not judge yourself when you stub your toe along the way. The Self Matters Companion will put you into intense and intimate contact with yourself day to day. Be loyal and stand by yourself!

The second element, "the extent to which it...meets the needs of the people involved," speaks to how effectively you are there for yourself. Throughout Self Matters, I wrote about identifying what you truly want and need to live consistently with your authentic self. Hopefully, you can see how important that is to your relationship with yourself. You are a life manager, and you have one client and one client only: YOU! Do a good job because you can't fire yourself and get a replacement.

I can help you with what follows in these pages, but the doing is up to you. Be sure that you specifically, precisely identify your wants and needs and are deeply, loyally committed and you will have what you want. Bottom line, it's time to be there for you, not in thought or theory but in your walk through this everyday life.

Copyright © 2002 by Phillip C. McGraw

Meet the Author

Dr. Phil Mcgraw is the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Ultimate Weight Solution, Self Matters, Life Strategies, and Relationship Rescue. He is the host of the nationally syndicated, daily one-hour series Dr. Phil. One of the world's foremost experts in the field of human functioning, Dr. McGraw is the cofounder of Courtroom Sciences, Inc., the world's leading litigation consulting firm. Dr. McGraw currently lives in Los Angeles, California, with his wife and two sons.

Brief Biography

Los Angeles, California
Date of Birth:
Place of Birth:
Attended University of Tulsa; B.A., Midwestern State; Ph.D. in psychology, University of North Texas, 1979

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Self Matters Companion 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Guest More than 1 year ago
Dr. Phil does a tremendous job in opening up his book with a new definition of "self," as well as the steps in defining what that means. The trouble beyond this point is that of not understanding the basic premise behind systematic lifelong abuse, and those times of "defining moments" etal. No epiphany here - unless you have been there, you will not understand. As an example Dr. Phil recounts two of his own defining moments, the first of which he finds he can stand up to a former favorite teacher. He obviously has had the basic building blocks already established in order to do that. There was no fear in gong home after being expelled. More than a defining moment, I would term this a "refining" moment, where the most basic decison making building blocks given him at home, were affirmed and realized. If constant humiliation, verbal abuse, and physical trauma had established a physilogical link to the very basic thought process from earliest forward, the option of making the decision he made would not have been even a remote posssiblility. Like water flowing down a channel that has been dug deep into the bedrock, the physiology of decison making was established by outside constuction while the bedrock was still soft. So, as he later states "all your decisons are 100% yours," he states a truism - however, being that the very pathways those decisions were forced to follow was dug by outside sources, they are also NOT yours. The difference here, is that now you know - you have the opportunity to go forward with recognition to begin establishing your own pathways.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I can honestly say that this book changed my life. I followed the exercises and within 4 months, I had tripled my authenticity score. This book, and it's journal companion, helped me set goals and achieve them. "Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal for My Future Child" is now my dream come true. THANK YOU DR. PHIL! :)
Guest More than 1 year ago
I'm sure Dr. Phil himself would agree that time and effort are needed for "Identifying key areas of conflict between Fictional vs. Authentic living." And his Companion book is a great supplement to "Self Matters." A particularly challenging area is trying to identify the authentic in negative thoughts and feelings, so you can get rid of hopeless pessimism without losing the adaptive, constructive kind of pessimism. For this task, an extremely helpful book is "The Positive Power of Negative Thinking" by psychologist Julie Norem. I bet Dr. Phil agrees that individual differences do matter, and no 'one-size-fits-all' strategy can apply to everyone. That is why "Self Matters" !!