Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children

The best advice on this subject I've read...

There are many, many helpful non-fiction books in this world to choose from, but this is one that every parent MUST read. It's incredibly well-written and interesting, and the examples are excellent. Since I've worked with dysfunctional people and families for twenty years as a social worker, I can testify that Allison knows what she is talking about. She's obviously poured her heart and soul into this book in order to help families, and I've not found better advice out there for people who have adult children than is mentioned here. In fact, I brought it to church with me to a Bible study as I was reading it. People were checking it out because everyone knows someone who has an adult child who has torn their parents' hearts out by the way they live their lives. The awesome thing about this book is that the advice will actually work, painful as it will be. It's scripturally sound advice. Allison makes an impressive case as you'll see when you read the book. There is even a benefit to reading this book while your kids are still young, or teenagers. They don't have to be fully grown children for you to benefit as a reader. Why? Because you can stop destructive patterns BEFORE you let them destroy your children. I've pondered some things about my own parenting style as a result of this book and it's sparked some great discussions with my husband. We are doing a lot of things right, but there are always ways to improve. Like making sure your own childhood deficits don't interfere with what God is trying to work in your child's life. My boys are 15 and 16 and Setting Boundaries for Your Adult Children has actually helped me with some decisions I need to make as they grow older. I feel so much more equipped. Bless Allison for opening her heart and making herself vulnerable for the sake of the ministry God has given her. This book is a winner!

5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

Great Book!

I just recommended this book to another friend and thought it was time to put up a comment. I would HIGHLY recommend this book to struggling parents of adult children and even to those friends and family members who are witnessing this destructive cycle. Hopefully, you are able to draw parallels to your own life and set yourself on a constructive path as I was able to. If you are unable to apply these teachings, then you don't truly want help (although, I am confident you will return to this book later, when it gets bad enough). The author did an excellent job in including scripture, although it did not have a "preaching" style, nor did she put a bunch a mind-numbing psycho-babble in it. I plan to keep this book in my library for a long time. Best wishes to you and your family.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

It's about time

This is the book I've been looking for. It should be a must read for anyone living with adult children, no matter how small or large the problems are that you are dealing with in your home. It is just awesome and will answer your questions as to why and what to do about it.

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

compelling reading

This is a must read for parents even if you are not experiencing challenges. A lot of good information to head off situations before they even start. It is compelling but firm - written in a no nonsense, "Dr. Laura" style reflecting common sense which many parents have lost in this generation. I have strongly recommended this book to a few of my friends

2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

Enablers

More parents than not need to read this book. I am deep in the consequences of being an enabling parent, this book gave and continues to give me the strength to follow the plan the book drawn out in the book.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

WHAT A GREAT BOOK!

This book was just what I needed. I even bought one for my friend. It is right on the mark and helps me to realize that I AM NOT GOING CRAZY and that other parents are experiencing these difficulties too! I am not alone. It is motivational, informative, truthful and can be life-changing if applied.

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

Good book

good book...recommended by my psychologist...helpful

1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

A Great Help!

While much of this book gave advice for parents of grown children with addictions and in trouble with the law, which is not the case with my grown son, I still could use the advice to stop enabling and stop feeling guilty about NOT enabling! The issue with my adult son is a severe lack of respect and his constant desire to debate every topic and his disrepectful choice of words. To the extreme. I now realize that no matter how much I want to have a good relationship with my child (grown), I can't do it by myself and the years of me trying to has just been enabling my son to push his responsibilities onto me. And then resent me for it. I think every parent should read this book. Even those with young children because you'll see where not to go wrong to begin with (ex: doing everything for your child out of love, instead of having them being the person responsible for their own actions). This book also encourages you to pray and allow God to take over. I agree.

Awesome book! Helped me so much!

Reading this book, I saw myself in the author's words. Doing things to "help" my adult child and what I was doing wasn't helping at all. I was enabling. I was adding to the problem.
There are no easy answers but this book gave me hope that I might regain some SANITY in my life and I can enforce boundaries to keep my other relationships (my husband and minor daughter) in tact. Great Christian perspective!

Wow......and Wow

I am not even a parent! But I needed to read a book to help mine understand boundaries better and this book blew my mind. It really got to the core of enablers and how good intentions go wrong. But more importantly, the book did a great job giving true clarity to how parents go from good intentions to nibbling bad behavior.

I would recommend this for anyone, not just parents in need, but for anyone who is thinking about having kids. Reading from this point of view really gives you a picture as to how fine the line really is.

Awesome - Must read

I love this book...it has helped me tremendously. I even lent the paperback out and had to buy it for my nook. I refer to it all the time.

It's never too late!

wow.. just the book I needed. Powerful and inspirational. Made me realize a lot about myself and my enabling ways with my 19 year old son. I have always felt the guilt, pain, and worry she talks about in her book. No more! I knew my enabling ways were not helping my son and only hurting him and this book has confirmed a lot of things for me. I see there is light at the end of the tunnel. I will follow her six step to gain my SANITY back although I know it will not be easy. I know it will be challenging and I am scared, but know I have to do this and just let him go.

Great book

Highly recommend for parents struggling with adult children, when to give in to their requests for money, living at home, etc. Great Christian book, good for all parents dealing with this issue.

Hard core advice and strategies for the parent that is a chronic enabler of their adult children! Great book

I bought this book for my mother, who's enabling of my niece has become out of control. It has a "tough lovr" concept that is a breath of fresh air.

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