Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra
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Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra

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by Mabel Iam

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Your dreams of sexual pleasure are about to come true. No age, time, place, or body constraints can prevent you from becoming the lover you desire to be. A bestseller around the world, Sex and the Perfect Lover has become the definitive guide to improving your sexual experience. Inside, discover how to:

  • Learn and develop sexual magnetism


Your dreams of sexual pleasure are about to come true. No age, time, place, or body constraints can prevent you from becoming the lover you desire to be. A bestseller around the world, Sex and the Perfect Lover has become the definitive guide to improving your sexual experience. Inside, discover how to:

  • Learn and develop sexual magnetism
  • Become an irresistible, fascinating, unforgettable lover
  • Overcome sexual blocks and inhibitions
  • Achieve multiple orgasms
  • Stimulate a woman's G-spot
  • Practice Kama Sutra techniques with the help of amazing illustrations and personal tips from the author
  • Make your relationship sacred and feel inner divinity while making love
  • Find and attract your soul mate

This book will become your eternal companion and trusted adviser — all of your needs and doubts about eroticism will be eased by Iam's tried-and-true advice. From your first kiss to sexual ecstasy, Mabel Iam guides you along the path to an intense pleasure that only love and sex can bring.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
"Iam's self-help guide to lovemaking will make you and your mate the perfect yin and yang combo." — Latina magazine

"Accessible. . . More than a simple sex manual, this slim volume condenses vast amounts of information into short, practical techniques." — Library Journal

Library Journal
Iam here aims to present "various ways of achieving happiness and pleasure through the harmony of body and soul." Offering a philosophical approach to sexual pleasure, the author draws upon Eastern teachings but uses a writing style and terminology more accessible to a Western audience. More than a simple sex manual, this slim volume condenses vast amounts of information into short, practical techniques for integrating mental and physical energies. The book is divided into three sections. The first section focuses on preparing for love. The second section, titled "Actualization of Love," ends with a chapter illustrating various positions from the Kama Sutra. The last section deals with enhancing and maintaining love. Visualizations, exercises, and meditations are spread throughout. Iam is the author of several Spanish-language New Age books. Recommended for large public libraries or collections specializing in sex and spirituality.-Kimberley Smith, California State Univ. Lib., Fresno Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information.

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Atria Books
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6.10(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.50(d)

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1: The Pleasure of the Tao and the Polarity of Sex

The Tao: The Yin and Yang of Sex

When a woman unites with her man in love, all the magical power of the universe becomes integrated with this act, which then produces miracles both in heaven and on earth.

The Union of the Feminine with the Masculine

Even though it is impossible to know the precise origin of Taoist philosophy, it is known that around the year 500 BC, Chinese scholar Lao-Tse researched and compiled its basic principles into a book that we know today as Tao Te King.

Just as the purpose of the Tao is to learn the supreme way to the self-actualization of a human being, the purpose of the Tao of a couple is to integrate love with sex and unite the male and female energies.

Representation of the Tao

The Tao is the unity of two principles: yin and yang. The symbol of yin and yang is a circle divided into two halves by an S-shaped line, with one half black and the other half white.

The circle represents the unity of the universe, consisting of the yin (black) aspects and the yang (white) aspects, inseparable in every manifestation of the whole. Within each half there is a smaller circle of the opposite color, which means that each principle contains the seed of the other. At the culminating moment of deployment and expression, each principle changes into its polar opposite so that the force of eternal equilibrium can do its work.

The Equilibrium of the Universe Depends on Polarity

According to the Tao, the universe is the product of the polarity existing within the primordial unity: rest and motion, contraction and expansion, condensation and scattering, moving backward and moving forward. From the most simple and peculiar manifestations to the most complex and universal ones, every being expresses this original polarity. The interrelationship between yin and yang generates all living things that inhabit the universe.

The Tao philosophy is based on the search for balance and the integration of opposing energy forces that are complementary to each other.

Yin and Yang

Yin energy represents the feminine: passivity, night, wetness, cold, water, and the moon. The woman, with all her sexual secretions and fluids, constitutes a yin essence that provides the necessary protection that allows the male's semen to become an embryo.

The woman contains an inexhaustible reserve of yin energy that is activated by sexual arousal. The female orgasm strengthens vital energy, improves health, and prolongs youth.

Due to the fact that a woman's sexual potential is more energetic and open, almost all texts on this subject place a greater emphasis on educating the man so both lovers can reach an equivalent level of satisfaction.

Yang energy represents the masculine: activity, day, dryness, sun, and fire. Man's sperm is a precious gift, the source of his physical health and vital energy. This vital energy will diminish unless it is compensated by an equivalent amount of female yin energy, which is why the man must seek to satisfy the woman each time he has sexual contact with her. That way, both will benefit the other during each act of lovemaking: he will strengthen his vital essence, and she will stimulate and intensify her yin essence.

According to Taoist thinking, the sexual feature of yin is slower excitation, but this also means that a woman is slower to quit at the moment when she needs more sexual stimulation. On the contrary, yang's sexual feature is easy excitability, which allows the man to achieve maximum pleasure instantly.

The man needs to learn to prolong the sexual act without reaching orgasm so that both energies can merge and fuse. By increasing the time his member remains inside the woman, he will absorb the yin essence that will in turn revitalize him.

When the man's yang force and the woman's yin force unite, they create life in the universe.

Infinite Pleasure

There are physical and mental exercises that enable a couple having sexual problems to find a balance. These ancient techniques are very effective for people who play routine, stereotyped, or rigid roles in their sexual relations, which may eventually lead to a loss of sexual desire.

First of all, lovers should work on developing the tenderness of their feelings and express them through caressing each other. Each partner must caress the other in a slow and soft manner, with yin sensitivity. In doing so, not only do the mouth and the fingers take part, but so does the whole body, including those parts that are not usually explored erotically.

While the partners caress each other, both should focus mentally on the image of a sun embracing the moon with its light beams — two vital energies becoming integrated.

The man should excite the woman until they both reach maximum wetness in their erogenous zones. Upon achieving this yin sensation, it is time for the intervention of the yang, with the man's penetration of the woman until the couple achieves maximum pleasure.

Having completed the sexual act in a state of ecstasy, the couple must wait a few minutes and allow their bodies to relax completely. When they reach this restful state, the lovers should visualize the image of an integrated earth and sky, while holding hands and kissing at the same time.

If the lovers start caressing each other again, they may get excited anew and perform the sexual act more than twice a day.

If a couple performs these exercises every day for some time, they will successfully harmonize their yin and yang energies and will experience the highest embodiment of love.

Copyright © 2003 by Mabel Iam

Meet the Author

Mabel Iam is a psychotherapist and relationship expert, as well as the author of several national and international award-winning bestsellers. She often appears on Telemundo and Univision and has a weekly radio show. Visit her website at

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Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra 4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 26 reviews.
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is such a powerful relationship and sex guide. It goes beyond its stated goal of helping you achieve the sex life you want. It's really about overcoming any number of self-esteem issues that you can undertake on your own to become a more authentic ...
Kt-Kat More than 1 year ago
This is a very good book to read regarding all the aspects of tantric sex. Most of the other books I have read leave out the emotional and mental aspects that are a part of making love, this book helps you to focus and actually enhance those areas in ways not often thought about. It also aids in giving new examples of ways to recreate intimacy with your partner, in an easy to understand way. The Mabel Iam writes smoothly, in an easy to understand format, that puts the reader right at ease and opens the mind to other possibilities. I look forward to reading more of her books
Guest More than 1 year ago
'Sex And The Perfect Lover' was an outstanding look into the realm of our sexual age. The book focuses mainly on the wordly suggestions of the Kama Sutra, Tao and Tantra, though it also touches on other spiritual and physical understandings of how the human body can work more efficiently during the art of making love. Other topics covered are Massage, Accupressure techniques as well as the effects of various scents when using Aromatherapy. I highly recommend this fantastic book to all who are hoping to improve their sexual relationships, marriage difficulties, or just general health. 'Sex And The Perfect Lover' has it all. A must for your collection. Happy reading.
Guest More than 1 year ago
I could not put this book down. It is definitely the first of its kind I had ever gotten. It is GREAT. Just reading it turns you on. This book really helped our relationship spice up our love life. It has several positions. Not only do they show you the position, they explain how it should be done. Overall, this book helped increase the communication between my girlfriend and I surrounding what we liked and how we liked it. I would recommend this book to anyone looking to add some spice and variety to their love life.
claralove80 More than 1 year ago
The union between me and my husband was strengthened and suddenly more beautiful than it had been for years. This isn't only about putting "spice" back into your marriage, or playing games. This is about connecting spiritually. The ability is inherent in all of us, lying dormant, waiting to be engaged. I highly recommend this book.
Weldfunder More than 1 year ago
This book is extremely motivational as well as inspiring- There have not been sex manuals written from the man's and women's perspective, But Iam, wrote in this book about the two points of view. I have been trying to buy one book like this for the past 2 years. I love the illustrations of the Kama Sutra
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I am getting ready to get married, and my fiance and I both read the book.Our sex life have improved significantly. Now, after 3 years together, we are more excited that the first time. Now we are really in love. This book is invaluable as we begin our lives together
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Sex and perfect lover offers couples an exciting new way to spice up their sex lives every day of the year. Opening this book to any page reveals an enticing new position complete with how-to information, enjoyment tips. THe best book about sex and the best Kamasutra.
Guest More than 1 year ago
The personal and relationship development techniques that the author teaches are invaluable. They have made a substantial, positive contribution to my ability to show up as an authentic participant in my relationship with my self, and with my husband.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love this book
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Guest More than 1 year ago
I was very pleased with my online purchase of 'Sex and the Perfect Lover'. I usually do not read books of this nature but found it very interesting and promising! Thank you Mabel Iam!
Guest More than 1 year ago
This is a great read for couples looking to spice up their sex life. It's straightforward, insightful and a whole lot of fun. Even if you already have a great sex life, this is a fun book to read and share together. Easy to read and the instructions are easy to follow. I've read book after book and this book still was able to teach me something new.
Guest More than 1 year ago
When I thought there were not any more sex 'teaCHIngs' I could learn from a book, this book just amazed me. This book just transformed my sex and it is never going to be better than after reading it. I've read my share of sex books but this one is very informative, gives great advises and cove
Guest More than 1 year ago
Sex and the perfect lover and the Kamasutra should be required reading for all lovers and a making love manual for teaching in schools. It'll open your eyes to some new sexuality concepts, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone with or not experience to develop some body awareness and control before sex.
jacbMC More than 1 year ago
I personally loved this book - I felt that Mabel did a great job of integrating not only suggestions for different sexual positions, but meditations and visualizations that can enhance and deepen your connection with your soul mate. Perhaps the best part is that it is an easy and enjoyable read.
Guest More than 1 year ago
Increasing lust decreases love. Lust can be performed with anyone. This book is a lie and only promises you nice sensations for a few seconds. Sexual degenaration lies ahead if you find trust in this book! You will not become a perfect lover but a perfect lustfull suffering animal.