Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

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More About This Book

Overview

In this controversial, thought-provoking, and brilliant book, renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá debunk almost everything we "know" about sex, weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality to show how far from human nature monogamy really is. In Sex at Dawn, the authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity.

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

When published in hardcover, this provocative tome about human sexuality was greeted by enthusiastic reviews and firm denunciations. In Sex at Dawn, Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá argue that the human urge to sexually stray is built into our evolutionary makeup. To make their points, they draw on evolutionary research about our primate cousins, but also on recent studies of human behavior. Make no mistake though; this is not just a Darwinian discourse: The Spanish husband and wife team maintain that old trade-off between man's protection and possessions in exchange for a woman's fertility and fidelity are now collapsing. New thoughts on monogamy.

Newsweek
“Funny, witty, and light ... Sex at Dawn is a scandal in the best sense, one that will have you reading the best parts aloud and reassessing your ideas about humanity’s basic urges well after the book is done.”

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061707810
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 7/5/2011
  • Pages: 432
  • Sales rank: 36,868
  • Series: P.S. Series
  • Product dimensions: 5.31 (w) x 8.00 (h) x 0.86 (d)

Meet the Author

Christopher Ryan, PhD, is a research psychologist. He lives in Barcelona, Spain.

Table of Contents

Preface: A Primate Meets His Match (A note from one of the authors) xi

Introduction: Another Well-intentioned Inquisition 1

A Few Million Years in a Few Pages 10

Part I On The Origin Of The Specious 17

1 Remember the Yucatán! 19

You Are What You Eat 20

2 What Darwin Didn't Know About Sex 25

The Flintstonization of Prehistory 31

What Is Evolutionary Psychology and Why Should You Care? 36

Lewis Henry Morgan 42

3 A Closer Look at the Standard Narrative of Human Sexual Evolution 46

How Darwin Insults Your Mother (The Dismal Science of Sexual Economics) 48

The Famously Flaccid Female Libido 51

Male Parental Investment (MPI) 52

"Mixed Strategies" in the War Between the Sexes 55

Extended Sexual Receptivity and Concealed Ovulation 58

4 The Ape in the Mirror 61

Primates and Human Nature 64

Doubting the Chimpanzee Model 67

In Search of Primate Continuity 69

Part II Lust in paradise (solitary?) 79

5 Who Lost What in Paradise? 81

On Getting Funky and Rockin Round the Clock 83

6 Who's Your Daddies? 90

The Joy of S.E.Ex. 93

The Promise of Promiscuity 98

Bonobo Beginnings 101

7 Mommies Dearest 105

Nuclear Meltdown 109

8 Making a Mess of Marriage, Mating, and Monogamy 113

Marriage: The "Fundamental Condition" of the Human Species? 115

On Matrimonial Whoredom 119

9 Paternity Certainty: The Crumbling Cornerstone of the Standard Narrative 124

Love, Lust, and Liberty at Lugu Lake 126

On the Inevitability of Patriarchy 131

The March of the Monogamous 134

10 Jealousy: A Beginner's Guide to Coveting Thy Neighbor's Spouse 138

Zero-Sum Sex 141

How to Tell When a Man Loves a Woman 146

Part III The Way We Weren't 151

11 "The Wealth of Nature" (Poor?) 153

Poor, Pitiful Me 158

The Despair of Millionaires 161

Finding Contentment "at the Bottom of the Scale of Human Beings" 163

12 The Selfish Meme (Nasty?) 166

Homo Economicus 166

The Tragedy of the Commons 169

Dreams of Perpetual Progress 172

Ancient Poverty or Assumed Affluence? 173

On Paleolithic Politics 176

13 The Never-Ending Battle over Prehistoric War (Brutish?) 182

Professor Pinker, Red in Tooth and Claw 183

The Mysterious Disappearance of Margaret Power 187

The Spoils of War 190

The Napoleonic Invasion (The Yanomami Controversy) 194

The Desperate Search for Hippie Hypocrisy and Bonobo Brutality 197

14 The Longevity Lie (Short?) 200

When Does Life Begin ? When Does It End? 202

Is 80 the New 30? 204

Stressed to Death 208

Who You Calling a Starry-Eyed Romantic, Pal? 210

Part IV Bodies In Motion 213

15 Little Big Man 215

All's Fair in Love and Sperm War 219

16 The Truest Measure of a Man 225

Hard Core in the Stone Age 231

17 Sometimes a Penis Is Just a Penis 233

18 The Prehistory of O 244

"What Horrid Extravagancies ofMinde!" 246

Beware the Devil's Teat 252

The Force Required to Suppress It 253

19 When Girls Go Wild 255

Female Cofulatory Vocalization 255

Sin Tetas, No Hay Paraíso 259

Come Again? 262

Part V Men are from Africa, Women are From Africa 269

20 On Mona Lisa's Mind 271

21 The Pervert's Lament 280

Just Say What? 285

Kelloggs Guide to Child Abuse 288

The Curse of Calvin Coolidge 293

The Perils of Monotomy (Monogamy+ Monotony) 293

22 Confronting the Sky Together 306

Everybody Out of the Closet 311

The Marriage of the Sun and the Moon 311

Author's Note 313

Acknowledgments 315

Notes 317

References and Suggested Further Reading 351

Index 383

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 74 )

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 75 Customer Reviews

  • Posted July 1, 2010

    Fantastic!!! Hard to Put Down!

    This book is fantastic!!! Sure to catch on... A fascinating eye-opener that addresses questions about human sexuality that we've nearly all come across -- it may finally answer things you've always wondered about!

    It takes a close look at the origins of our prehistoric past to examine the sharing, egalitarian nature of the communal groups we evolved in, and how far we've come so far from that now in our modern, often conflicted constructs.

    The evidence is carefully researched, and the stories are captivating - taking you across history and across the globe as well, recounting fascinating anecdotes on sexual practices from cultures all over the world and examining the many surprising alternative approaches there have been to the same core issues. And it's all explained in language that's sharply intelligent -- and still fun, clear, and easy to follow.

    This brilliant debut -- by a husband/wife team, no less! -- sheds light on how understanding the way human sexuality evolved is critical to answering questions about our lives today. Why is long-term sexual monogamy so difficult for many couples? Why do middle-aged men risk so much for meaningless flings? What do our own bodies tell us about our sexual evolution?

    This book takes you on a journey that covers topics from the Origins of War to the peaceful, sexy nature of our close Bonobo cousins. If you've never picked up a text on evolutionary psychology, this is the perfect book to explain some fascinating concepts. If you're curious to travel a road that whisks you across the world to learn about exotic cultures and across time to explore our promiscuous past - you might enjoy this immensely. You could just come away knowing more about human nature - and about yourself as well!

    8 out of 10 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 6, 2012

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    1 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted December 27, 2011

    Very interesting and thought provoking.

    If you have ever thought of why people act the way they do when it comes to relationships and human social interaction then this would be the book to read. It is very well written with a lot of resources that you can look at yourself to see where the authors find their information. It is not written in a dry form like some other books written on this topic, but written like a person looking for answers. This book will open your mind at why we look at sex as we do and why over time we get bored with a long term partner and could warder off looking for something new (this goes for both sexes). It takes a look at why monogamy is failing with people separating without working on underlining issues or not looking at options at keeping their relationship intact. This is look from both a physical as well as psychology view. There is so many different topics in this book a review cannot cover them all. It is a book better read with the reader drawing their own conclusions on what the author's message is and what he wants the reader to know.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 9, 2011

    About Time someone could say it, and back it up.

    Very readable, with a wry wit and a no nonsense approach to human and ape sexuality. This book is very well researched, and spends a fair bit of time on debunking the conventional wisdom. I suspect that it might be a bit scary to take on the established views on such a hot button topic, but the author manages to insert enough humor to help defuse the tension.

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 2, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Great Read

    This book was fascinating. His theory seems very plausible and he presents it in a very entertaining way.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 5, 2012

    not a great read so far

    I bought this book because of good reviews. I am about a third through it. Not a very well written book. It doesnt flow well. Also so far arleast book focusses on proving todays take on human sexuality and monogamy wrong. This is done mainly through authors interpretations of various things. It is really not very scientific. There is no evidence to back authors theory yet. So far, there are so mnay flaws in authors argument, i am wondering if i should continue reading or not.

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  • Posted April 14, 2012

    LOVE! A new perspective!

    I loved this book. I normally don't read non-fiction but I loved the sarcastic tone sprinkled throughout this novel. I am open minded, so to read a different perspective on this topic was refreshing. Their ideas are not forced onto the reader, they are merely presented with facts to back them up. Finished this in about a week. And honestly I would have finished it sooner but I actually took a day or two in between reads to think about what I have just read.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted April 3, 2012

    This book asks and answers questions that I have often wondered

    This book asks and answers questions that I have often wondered about. It does so with class and humor, educating the non-scientist with clear explanation and wit!

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