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Sex Secrets of an American Geisha How to Attract, Satisfy and Keep Your Man
By Py Kim Conant
Hunter House Inc., Publishers Copyright © 2007 Py Kim Conant
All right reserved.
Chapter One Develop Your Geisha Consciousness
In her pursuit of sexuality, love, and marriage, can any woman become an American Geisha by using the powers, secrets, and lessons of the Japanese geisha and Korean kisaeng? What is it about the secrets of a feminine, sexy American Geisha that is so incredible that you should learn them in order to attract and to marry the right man for you, what I call your "Good Man"? How can you become an American Geisha? Why would men be attracted to an American Geisha and want to take her to bed or to the altar? You'll find the answers to those questions in this book. I do have some important secrets and lessons for you from the world of the Asian Geisha and from my own experiences, especially if you want to be married, and soon.
What Is Geisha Consciousness?
In the professional development of the Asian Geisha, the younger geisha in training or apprentice geisha (known as a maiko) is taken under the wing of a more experienced onesan in a solemn ceremony that confers on them the familial relationship of Older Sister and Younger Sister. The Younger Sistermaiko even changes her name to incorporate part of the name of her Older Sister onesan. While I do not suggest you take a part of my name as your own, I do want us to have an Older Sister-Younger Sister relationship as you read this book and practice the actions that will help you to be married soon, specifically within twelve to eighteen months, to your choice of a Good Man for you. Let your Older Sister American Geisha share her experience and research to help her Younger Sister become a happy, successful American Geisha.
The first feminine, sexy American Geisha secret I want to share with you is that we women need to have a particular attitude toward our men, similar to the attitude of the Asian Geisha toward her men.
We have to spend a moment talking about perhaps the greatest of all American Geisha sex secrets: The feminine, sexy woman, Asian or non-Asian, has the mentality of a geisha. Although the modern conception of the geisha goes back to mid-nineteenth-century Japan, the geisha is to this day an important part of Japanese culture. The relatively few women who are willing to spend the many years of training required to be a geisha become quite learned in the ways of ladylike, classy behavior and entertainment in the living room. They are also well schooled in the feminine ways of pleasing their men in the bedroom (as opposed to simply mastering a variety of sex positions). I reveal to you here both the feminine and sexy secrets of the bedchamber, the mysteries of physical love that will bond your Good Man to you, and those of outside the bedchamber, which will first attract him to you. But even more fundamental to understanding the geisha than knowing her talents in bed or out is an understanding of her way of looking at the male-female relationship, what I call her Geisha Consciousness. The Asian Geisha has mastered the art of using all aspects of her femininity to attract, satisfy, and keep her men happy with her so that they will take advantage of her services again in the future. She is, as it were, building a satisfied clientele and a successful long-term business.
Men Are Inspired by Your Femininity, Your "Yin"
The key to using your Geisha Consciousness is to realize the power and strength that lie within your femininity as expressed in a geishalike manner. As I've mentioned, your man is a simple, predictable human being in relationships. He is not nearly so complicated as are we women. (Even Sigmund Freud couldn't figure out what women want, but it's easy to figure out what men want, isn't it? Well, isn't it?)
The Asian Geisha knows that her man is a simple creature who cannot be legislated into treating her well, but rather must be inspired by her personality, kindness, beauty, and sexy femininity to treat her well, both sexually and in all other aspects of relationship, love, and marriage.
Your Geisha Consciousness realizes that your man is a lover of the yin and yang differences that, in ancient China, Taoists believed attracted men and women to one another. That is, your man wants to experience and enjoy your great femininity (your yin) in order to boost both his own ego and your sense of his great masculinity (his yang). This attraction between opposites, so well understood by the Asian Geisha, is the key to your attracting, satisfying, and keeping your man for a lifetime. As an American Geisha, you will embody to him the differences and contrasts between your feminine and his masculine, and you will encourage and support him in the expression of his embodiment of the masculine. The geisha (Asian or American) knows that there is much truth in the old saying "Opposites attract." Your differences from a man are what attract him to you. Your female characteristics exert a strong pull on his male characteristics as he experiences a gravitational attraction to you and all you represent of the feminine.
The Asian Geisha knows that she should do all she can to make her man feel more masculine, more of a man. She knows that she wants to be as feminine to him as she can be. The American Geisha, too, loves the contrast-the yin and yang-of the differences between men and women, and knows that a man is highly attracted to a feminine woman who encourages his own strong sense of masculinity. Doesn't any woman want to be more feminine and have her man feel more masculine? Isn't there just a little moistness forming in your vagina as you think about the passion generated when your great femininity comes together sexually and emotionally with the confident masculinity you've inspired in your man?
The Asian Geisha is seen in Japan and in Korea as being the embodiment of femininity, an old-fashioned femininity, very much a prefeminism femininity. This is what I believe men seek out in the Asian Geisha: the appreciation she demonstrates for the power of her own femininity in relationship with men, what I call her Geisha Femininity. The Asian Geisha has been compared to a doll by both those who approve and those who disapprove of the geisha tradition. The white face of the maiko, or apprentice geisha, gives her a porcelain, doll-like quality, simple and even childlike in appearance. This is not a sophisticated femininity but a rather exaggerated femininity, especially when combined with the maiko's very colorful and feminine kimono and shoes. It is this obvious femininity that the male clients want when they ask that a maiko join them at an event or party. They do not seek a more subtle femininity (such as that of the unpainted, full geisha in her simpler kimono) so much as they do the more obvious, youthful femininity of the maiko, who generally outnumber the Older Sister geisha in attendance at these functions.
As an American Geisha and a feminine-ist, you want to display to appropriate men your obvious femininity, setting yourself apart from other women who appear to be less feminine than you. Your Good Man is more likely to be attracted to a beautiful and clearly feminine woman than to another woman who seems less so. The secret for both the Asian Geisha and the American Geisha is to display her femininity in a classy manner. If either the maiko or the American Geisha is seen as unclassy, she loses the respect (and attention) of the very men she wishes to attract.
"Feminine Woman" Fever
The attraction to Asian women can be so strong that some Western men develop an Asian fetish, known as "yellow fever," which causes an increase in male body temperature and heart rate triggered by some combination of the woman's great femininity and mysterious Asian looks. I believe it is not so much the Asian appearance of such a woman but rather her overwhelming femininity that attracts men to her. When Western or American women use the Asian Geisha's ways to express their own femininity, they will attract men by triggering "black fever," "brown fever," or "white fever" in them. I believe it is fundamentally a "feminine woman fever" that our potential Good Men suffer: the strong, compelling desire to find a truly feminine woman-no matter her ethnicity-to complement their own sense of masculinity. Here's what a few men told me in my research:
"A feminine woman is someone who is herself, first and foremost. She's intelligent; can use her eyes to smile, connect, and carry on a conversation; and has poise." - Mike
"I think femininity is related to simply the way we as men perceive the woman we are looking at. She has to be slim, sensual, sexy, and exotic. Femininity is also in the way women carry themselves." - Carlos
"A woman who is nice-looking and has a very nice body, who knows how to use it and how to dress and act can achieve her wildest dreams and pleasures." - Greg
"First, of course, her look, dress, makeup. Second, her way of talking and looking at people. And her smile." - Keith
"The thing that makes her sexy is how she holds and presents herself. If she moves and acts in a subtle and flirtatious way, then a man is likely to be very stimulated by her. If she wears clothing that just slightly reveals some of her body and gives a hint of what she hides underneath, then I would consider that to be very sexy." - George
These men, it seems to me, are responding to how feminine a women looks: her nice body, her makeup, her smile, her way of talking, how she moves and presents herself, her poise. Of course, beauty and femininity come in all sizes, as does sexiness. Your Geisha Consciousness recognizes the full range of attractiveness in taller or smaller women, younger or older women, thinner or curvier women, stay-at-home moms or corporate-oriented career women. Geisha Consciousness is available to all women. We can all be more beautiful, feminine, and sexy, no matter what unique combination of body type, psychology, and lifestyle choices we embody. The woman (you!) who goes out into the dating world must represent her true self, who she really is, or else nothing will work out very well in the long run. Your Geisha Consciousness knows that you must be your authentic self, who you really are at your core, as you apply your Older Sister's advice in terms of your appearance, your beauty, your fashion style, your sexuality, and your behavior toward men. In fact, your cool, assured, and comfortable relationship with your real self is, in itself, very feminine and sexy to the Good Men that you'll meet.
I need to spend a little time here, early in our journey, to clarify an American Geisha's definition of femininity. In reading this book so far, you have encountered some version of the word "feminine" seventy-four times already. So let's see exactly what that wonderful word means.
For the American Geisha, "feminine" most represents those qualities in women that are in contrast to the very different qualities that we refer to in men as "masculine." The human body is, first and foremost, the physical manifestation of either yin (female) or yang (male) energies. Men's bodies are angular, built for speed and strength. They are designed to be aggressive, to hunt and pursue, to protect and provide. The hormone testosterone that courses so strongly through a man's blood vessels provides him with a chemistry that differs greatly from a woman's (though we women, too, have very small amounts of testosterone in our systems). Men are yang.
Women's bodies are softer, contoured to comfort and nurture. We are yin. The hormone estrogen dominates our blood chemistry (although men have a very small amount of estrogen in their bodies). In her 2006 book, The Female Brain, neuropsychiatrist Louann Brizendine, M.D., takes these differences beyond the bloodstream. In an interview she said, "I know it's not politically correct to say this.... But I believe that women actually perceive the world differently than men. If women attend to those differences, they can make better decisions about how to manage their lives." The American Geisha knows intuitively that the brains of men and women sense the world-including relationships-differently. Isn't this psychological difference obvious to you, dear Younger Sister?
The Asian Geisha recognizes the power of her receptivity and her nurturing tranquility. She develops these qualities into mysteriousness and elusiveness, which inspire in her male clients a sense of chase. In doing this, she taps into the fundamental vein of masculinity: a testosterone-charged aggression. She makes men hunt her. The Asian Geisha is very aware of her yin versus the male yang.
So, too, should you, dear Younger Sister, embrace your yin. By making yourself explicitly aware of your natural femininity, you will appeal to men's natural masculinity, and you will facilitate and encourage the bringing together of these two powerful physical and psychological energies into a wonderful relationship with your Good Man.
A Quick but Important Caution
You can only present yourself in this totally feminine way when you are dealing with what I call a "Good Man." In Chapter 7, I define the basic characteristics that make a man a "Good Man" as opposed to an inappropriate (though not necessarily "bad") man for you either to date or to marry. In your Geisha Consciousness you are too soft, open, trusting, and vulnerable to be in relationship with anyone who is not a Good Man, because a nongood man could take advantage of you, hurt you, and waste your precious time. When you are dealing with a Good Man, however, your femininity operates in safety as it supports his protective masculine expression.
Until you determine that a man is, in fact, a Good Man, keep your feminist guard on alert; only interact with him more fully from your feminine-ist self after he has proven himself to you to be a Good Man. (If you are particularly curious about the definition of a Good Man, perhaps because you feel you've too often gotten involved with men who are not right for you, you may want to skip ahead and read Chapter 7, "Define Your 'Good Man,'" before learning more in this chapter about developing your Geisha Consciousness.)
Finding a Good Man will be so good for you, as it has been for me. You will get to express your deepest feminine qualities to your Good Man, who, responding to your powerful femaleness, will bring his inspired masculinity to your love relationship and marriage.
Embrace Your Geisha Consciousness
As your Older Sister I will lead you into many areas of your femininity. In Chapter 3, I suggest many ways to increase the expression of your beauty and femininity. I want you to embrace the Asian Geisha attitude, to internalize the geisha mindset, to focus with total enthusiasm and sincerity on bringing to your love life a Geisha Consciousness.
All of my suggestions or secrets will support you in being the essence of femaleness to him so you can support him in being the essence of maleness to you. Whew! I'm getting hot just thinking about the chemistry of such feminine and masculine essences coming together in a love relationship between two good people, you as a Good Woman and your Good Man. I want you to get hot and excited, too. Let your imagination run wild; see yourself forever in love with and married to a wonderful, masculine man who brings out your deepest feminine qualities. Imagine the intensity and joy not just of the sex, but also of living life together with this fantastic man who thinks of you as the most feminine, fantastic woman he's ever known.
No Manipulation: Tell Your Good Man What You Are Doing
Let your Good Man know that you are learning about and developing your Geisha Consciousness especially for him, so that you can make him happier and happier, both in bed and out. Let him know that his goodness to you and his expression of his caring masculinity inspire you to learn the mysterious ways of the Asian Geisha, so that you can bring him even more of the feminine secrets of love.
Always give him full credit for inspiring you to your greater Geisha Consciousness. Let him know that it is not just your natural way to be so hot and sexy and feminine, but also the influence of finally finding a truly Good Man that has brought out all of your latent femininity and sexuality. Only with him are you so free, so trusting, so feminine, so sexual, so uninhibited.
Excerpted from Sex Secrets of an American Geisha by Py Kim Conant Copyright © 2007 by Py Kim Conant. Excerpted by permission.
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