Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex--and How to Get It [NOOK Book]

Overview

Enjoyable sex: it’s not about technique or a perfect body or being hopelessly, passionately in love. It’s about Sexual Intelligence.

In his three decades of working with couples and individuals as a sex therapist and marriage counselor, Dr. Marty Klein has continually seen that although most people say what they want from sex is pleasure and closeness, that’s not what they focus on during sex. Instead, we’re preoccupied with how we look, what our partner is thinking, how we’re ...

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Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex--and How to Get It

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Overview

Enjoyable sex: it’s not about technique or a perfect body or being hopelessly, passionately in love. It’s about Sexual Intelligence.

In his three decades of working with couples and individuals as a sex therapist and marriage counselor, Dr. Marty Klein has continually seen that although most people say what they want from sex is pleasure and closeness, that’s not what they focus on during sex. Instead, we’re preoccupied with how we look, what our partner is thinking, how we’re performing, and whether we’re “normal.” We do more thinking, worrying, and judging than experiencing. Sex like that can’t thrill us, can’t create intimacy, and can’t, well, feel sexy.

In Sexual Intelligence, Klein shows how to stop observing ourselves during sex, ending our obsession with sexual performance and sexual normality. “I don’t help people ‘function’ better during sex,” he says. “I teach people how to relax and enjoy sex with the body they have, the partner they have, in the situation they have.” Now that’s something we all want: fulfilling, exciting sex at every stage of our lives.

In Sexual Intelligence, Klein challenges our understanding of sex, love, intimacy, romance, and satisfaction. After all, sex isn’t just an activity. Change the way you think about sex, and you can change your sex life—forever.

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Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

The two title words seldom go together, but sex therapist Dr. Marty Klein is convinced that he can change our unthinking ways. This Psychology Today regular contributor argues that illustrated how-to sex manual might briefly enhance our conjugal connections, but they won't permanently elevate them from robotic repetitions. Instead, he counsels a more holistic approach to our amorous encounters. A Valentine's Day gift with many happy returns. (P.S. The author has been described as "the Steve Jobs of sex advice," an acclamation best not contemplated too closely.)

Alisa Schnaars

Ian Kerner
“Marty Klein is the Steve Jobs of sex advice. With beguiling ease, he takes complex issues and distills them down to their essence. Sexual Intelligence is a work of enormous wisdom and expansiveness, and will inspire readers, regardless of age, to realize their full sexual potential.”
Christopher Ryan
“Marty Klein’s is a calm voice of reason at the center of the storm raging around sex in America. His tolerant, informed approach to the unavoidable sexual difficulties we all face is a welcome antidote to the panic and ignorance clouding public discussion and private understanding.”
Harriet Lerner
“Sexual Intelligence will help you fire the sex cops who have set up roadblocks in your head, and replace them with some good ideas to ponder and put into action. Dr.Klein has truly given us a helpful guide to authentic sexual satisfaction.”
Paul Joannides
“If you read only one book on sex and relationships during your entire lifetime, this should be it. Dr. Klein confronts the problems that have plagued couples since the beginning of time with refreshingly simple and brilliant insight.”
Esther Perel
“Instead of a manual of better tricks, this book is a practical plan to improve your relationship with your sexuality. Klein liberates and provokes—and illuminates the way to change your sexual experience for good.”
Dr. Pepper Schwartz
“Klein is comforting and permission-giving, while presenting boundaries that you can discuss with a partner if you have concerns. This is an easy to read, smart book with loads of information and advice. Sexual Intelligence is an important contribution to the field and to the reader.”
Doctor - Pepper Schwartz
"Klein is comforting and permission-giving, while presenting boundaries that you can discuss with a partner if you have concerns. This is an easy to read, smart book with loads of information and advice. Sexual Intelligence is an important contribution to the field and to the reader."
Psychology Today
“Read this if you want to let go of your inhibitions and improve your sex life. You might have to change your mind-set first, but Klein’s advice, quizzes, diagrams, and case studies will help you do just that.”
Library Journal
Pursuing sexual expectations that are decades out of date with a body and lifestyle that can't support that vision isn't dysfunction; it's a culturally and psychologically driven mistake. So writes Klein, licensed marriage/family therapist and certified sex therapist, as he proposes a new way of thinking about sexual activity—to leave behind sexual baggage and learn to approach this area of life with awareness, openness, and renewed optimism. He uses his clinical experience and numerous case studies to demonstrate how creating a lasting physical and emotional connection with a partner is so much more important than orgasms. While Klein writes primarily for those over the age of 30, he offers a fresh, commonsense approach that can help most people in long-term relationships.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780062098580
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 2/7/2012
  • Sold by: HARPERCOLLINS
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 328,374
  • File size: 669 KB

Meet the Author

Marty Klein, Ph.D., has been a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist for thirty years. A former adjunct instructor at Stanford University Medical School, Marty is the award-winning author of seven books. Marty's humor, insights, and down-to-earth approach are regularly featured in the national media, such as the New York Times, The New Yorker, Nightline, NPR, and The Huffington Post.

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Customer Reviews

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Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews
  • Posted April 24, 2012

    Truely a different way of thinking about Sex.

    This book could be helpful to people of any age. However, as one gets older, it provides a different way to look at our sexuality. It would help younger folks develop a healthier view of their sexuality as well. I would recommend this book to anyone, whether they think that they have an issue with their sexuality or not. It is very well written and easy to comprehend! Thanks Marty!!!

    3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 5, 2012

    Interesting view definition of "normal" sex

    Good book with interesting views of how many of us can get hung up on what "normal" sex really means. The book wasn't quite what I expected, though, based on the title. There were some chapters that I could have done without, that dealt with pretty significant dysfunction and, dare I say, some sexual acts that most of society would likely view as "abnormal".

    1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 2, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted May 24, 2012

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 4 Customer Reviews

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