Sexy Selfie Nation: Standing Up for Yourself in Today's Toxic, Sexist Culture

by Leora Tanenbaum

Overview

Chances are that you are getting it all wrong.

In this eye-opening new work, slut-shaming expert Leora Tanenbaum explains that when we criticize young women for wearing body-revealing outfits and sharing sexy selfies, we are losing the plot.

The problem is not with the actions young women take but with the toxic, sexist conditions they are responding to.

Young people are sick of being held responsible for others' inability to keep their eyes off their bodies. They explain that most of the time, they aren't even trying to sexualize themselves-and, when they do, they are taking control over their bodily autonomy and standing up for themselves.

Tanenbaum demonstrates that “sexy” does not mean “inviting sex,” and that when young women and nonbinary people embrace a sexualized aesthetic or post sexy pictures, they do so on their own terms.

In choosing to wear body-revealing clothing and posting sexy selfies, young people are taking a stand for themselves and against three pillars of nonconsensual sexualization that shape their daily lives:
Gendered dress codes, which allow teachers and administrators to scrutinize and comment on girls' bodies; Nonconsensual sharing of intimate images (“revenge porn” and “deepfakes”), which portray girls and women as sexual objects deserving of public humiliation; The aftermath of sexual harassment and assault, when victims are told-still today, even after #MeToo-that they were “asking for it.”

There's nothing wrong with taking and sharing intimate pictures. There's nothing wrong with feeling good about one's body. Everyone should be able to stand up for themselves, experience a sense of bodily autonomy, and shape and share their image on their own terms.

If you like cultural criticism that supports women of all identities, then you'll love Sexy Selfie Nation.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781538194003
Publisher:	Bloomsbury Academic
Publication date:	05/20/2025
Pages:	240
Product dimensions:	5.90(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.40(d)

About the Author

Leora Tanenbaum began researching and writing about slut-shaming before the term even existed. Her first book, Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation, is regarded as a significant contribution to feminist thought and the foundational text on slut-shaming. She has written for The New York Times, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, New York Daily News, The Nation, and U.S. News & World Report and has been a guest on Oprah, The Today Show, Nightline, Bill Maher, Fox News, MSNBC, and National Public Radio.

Table of Contents

Introduction
Part I. Too Sexy for Your Shirt: Cultural and Historical Context for the Environment Today
Chapter 1: The Paradox of the Subway Shirt
Chapter 2: Why We Wear Revealing Clothes
Chapter 3: You Should Have Seen the Flappers
Part II. Everyone's Eyes on Your Body: Three Toxic, Sexist Conditions Shaping Young People's Lives
Chapter 4: Growing Up with Gendered Dress Codes
Chapter 5: Growing Up with Image-Based Sexual Abuse (“Revenge Porn” and “Deepfakes”)
Chapter 6: Growing Up Blamed for Sexual Harassment and Assault
Part III. Girls and Women 14-21: Wresting Control: How Sharing Sexy Selfies Can Be Positive or Pernicious
Chapter 7: Sexy Selfies
Chapter 8: The Unsexy Side of Sexy Selfies
Chapter 9: The Cost of Being Instafamous
Part IV. Women 22-30: The OnlyFans Generation: Why Monetizing Sexy Selfies Is Rewarding for Some, Risky for All
Chapter 10: When Selling Your Sexy Selfies is Healing
Chapter 11: When Your Monetized Sexy Selfies Are Stolen
Conclusion
Appendix: Selected Resources
About the Author

Editorial Reviews

Tanenbaum brings depth and empathy to the conversation.” —Peace, Love, and ....

“Tanenbaum is a careful and thorough listener, committed to accurately rendering the voices of young women and non-binary folks when they talk to her about the intricacies of their lives, online and otherwise … The author has done us all a service, adding another must-read book for those who want to understand a new generation's anxieties around appearance and self-image.” —Lilith Magazine

“In Sexy Selfie Nation, Leora Tanenbaum deftly wades into the objectification of young women's bodies on social media and the conditions that produce it. Spoiler alert: the problem is not young women posting selfies! People want easy answers, but Tanenbaum considers complex questions: Is the sexy selfie an act of empowerment? Is it a clap back? Is it an imperfect response to an imperfect system? This is a must-read for anyone figuring out how to understand this new moment and how to navigate it as a parent or a young person.” —Samhita Mukhopadhyay, author of The Myth of Making It and former executive editor of Teen Vogue

“Leora Tanenbaum's gift is speaking directly to young women without judgment or shame about the trickiest of topics-objectification, sexual agency, bodily autonomy—and what and where those lines might be. Sexy Selfie Nation is an indispensable guide to helping them define and make their choices in a culture that sexualizes them from childhood and then blames them when they fight back.” —Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls & Sex

“Finally, teen girls get the respect they deserve from someone who truly cares. In Sexy Selfie Nation, Leora Tanenbaum acts as a mediator between these girls and their disapproving adults, offering impressive empathy to both sides. This book is an essential account of what teens are thinking when they show off their bodies, and a reminder that a safer, shame-free world is possible.” —Nona Willis Aronowitz, author of Bad Sex and former sex columnist for Teen Vogue

“Tanenbaum tackles an immensely important subject with this enlightening, surprising, and thoroughly researched consideration of young women, clothing, and sexual objectification. In compelling chapters with first person interviews, references to academic studies and general media coverage, as well as the author's own astute observations, Tanenbaum considers the societal minefield girls and young women must navigate simply by getting dressed. In reviewing gendered school dress codes, which demoralize and intimidate, she notes the particular targeting of young women of color, and how teens have smartly tested that reality by shifting identical clothes from white to Black bodies and tracking the different response. From the prosaic (choosing to wear tank tops when it's hot) to the particular (selecting color and style for an emotional lift on difficult days), her subjects run up against disapproval from family, school officials, and strangers who feel qualified to comment, castigate, and judge their clothing choices. Citing court cases and real-life situations from middle school to the Olympics, plus the risks behind “sexy selfies” and the long term degradation wrought by image-based sexual abuse (chiefly “revenge porn”), Tanenbaum's work is great in scope but intimate in execution. Outstanding.” —Booklist

“A must-read for young women and their parents. Tanenbaum brings an essential feminist lens to the crisis in youth mental health, diagnosing systemic causes while remaining fiercely respectful and protective of young people doing their best in a sexist, screwed up world.” —Alexandra Brodsky, author of Sexual Justice

“Leora Tanenbaum called out “slut-shaming” 25 years ago. She was right then, and she's right today. The book's most important insight is that when girls and women decide to stand up for themselves, this decision can come at a cost. Tanenbaum explains this challenge and offers advice for girls and women, mothers and fathers, on how to handle the sexist culture that remains a threat to girls and women everywhere. Read this book, and then buy another copy for the young person in your life.” —Karen Hinton, author of Penis Politics: A Memoir of Women, Men, and Power

“Looking at women's engagements with sexy clothing, racy selfies, and OnlyFans accounts, Leora Tanenbaum explains in this thoughtful, sensitive, and highly captivating book the benefits and dangers of sexualizing women's bodies. Using both historical examples and numerous interviews, it offers a map and advice on how to navigate today's toxic culture of social media, commercial objectification, and slut-shaming. Sexy Selfie Nation is a must and timely read to all those who want to understand the increasingly complicated reality where sex and sexuality can be empowering and a feminist means of resistance, while also pointing to the social dangers these practices entail.” —Einav Rabinovitch-Fox, PhD, author of Dressed for Freedom: The Fashionable Politics of American Feminism

“Have you ever wondered why a young person that you care about dresses like that or posts a selfie with cleavage, bedroom eyes, and tousled hair? I was gripped by Tanenbaum's powerful argument about sexy selfies as an act of resistance against gender-unequal dress coding, image-based sexual abuse, and other forms of unwanted sexualization. Her argument that "being harassed or assaulted may lead you to wear revealing clothing and post sexy selfies," will change how you think about crop tops and short shorts. Rather than lecturing young people about what they wear and post, we should respond to the actual bad behavior: policymakers' inaction on digital privacy and dress-code double standards.
Sexy Selfie Nation presents a nuanced understanding of a confusing (to older adults) set of phenomena, helping readers see that “sexy selfies can sometimes be empowering for individual women” but also that“sexy selfies can backfire against women as a class of people” and that while the “monetization of sexy selfies is rewarding for some,” it's also “risky for all.” I could not put this book down and highlighted probably ever other sentence. “Remember that sexuality is not the problem; violation of consent is the problem.” One of this year's must-reads.” —Jennifer S. Hirsch, PhD, coauthor of Sexual Citizens: Sex, Power, and Assault on Campus

“A crucial book for this moment. Young people and those who care for them need to read this book! We need to stop criminalizing and shaming kids and find ways to respect, support, and empower them as they come of age in their digital world.” —Devorah Heitner, PhD, author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World

“There will never be a day in my entire lifetime that all of the images of me could ever be deleted.' These words, quoted by Leora Tanenbaum in Sexy Selfie Nation, highlight the egregious theft of control and consent that survivors of image-based sexual abuse experience. Tanenbaum also correctly points the finger at the tech companies that facilitate, promote, and profit off the abuse of their users. Whether it is a pedophile commenting that a five-year-old looks 'so sexy' in her bikini or a cloud company distributing stolen explicit images, Tanenbaum includes an array of disturbing instances of Big Tech making the safety of their consumers a 'non-goal.' The diversity of expertise included, centering of survivors, and foregrounding of nuance make this book an educational and engaging read for anyone trying to make sense of the paradoxical pressures placed on women expected to be 'sexy, just not slutty.” —Carrie Goldberg, victims' rights lawyer and author of Nobody's Victim: Fighting Psychos, Stalkers, Pervs, and Trolls

“Leora Tanenbaum's Sexy Selfie Nation raises new and important topics like the idea of sexual assault via one's image-a chilling yet timely concept-and enough double standards facing young women today to make a reader's head spin. Anyone who picks up this book will walk away with a clear sense of how complicated it is to walk the world in a woman's body-and even more so as each day passes. Best of all, Tanenbaum has practical solutions and advice that will cross generations. This is a book for anyone who cares about women and girls-which is to say, this is a book for everyone.” —Donna Freitas, author of Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention and Consent on Campus: A Manifesto

From the Publisher

'There will never be a day in my entire lifetime that all of the images of me could ever be deleted.’ These words, quoted by Leora Tanenbaum in Sexy Selfie Nation, highlight the egregious theft of control and consent that survivors of image-based sexual abuse experience. Tanenbaum also correctly points the finger at the tech companies that facilitate, promote, and profit off the abuse of their users. Whether it is a pedophile commenting that a five-year-old looks ‘so sexy’ in her bikini or a cloud company distributing stolen explicit images, Tanenbaum includes an array of disturbing instances of Big Tech making the safety of their consumers a ‘non-goal.’ The diversity of expertise included, centering of survivors, and foregrounding of nuance make this book an educational and engaging read for anyone trying to make sense of the paradoxical pressures placed on women expected to be ‘sexy, just not slutty.'

Carrie Goldberg

"In Sexy Selfie Nation, Leora Tanenbaum deftly wades into the objectification of young women’s bodies on social media and the conditions that produce it. Spoiler alert: the problem is not young women posting selfies! People want easy answers, but Tanenbaum considers complex questions: Is the sexy selfie an act of empowerment? Is it a clap back? Is it an imperfect response to an imperfect system? This is a must-read for anyone figuring out how to understand this new moment and how to navigate it as a parent or a young person."

Samhita Mukhopadhyay

A must-read for young women and their parents. Tanenbaum brings an essential feminist lens to the crisis in youth mental health, diagnosing systemic causes while remaining fiercely respectful and protective of young people doing their best in a sexist, screwed up world.

Alexandra Brodsky

Leora Tanenbaum’s Sexy Selfie Nation raises new and important topics like the idea of sexual assault via one's image—a chilling yet timely concept—and enough double standards facing young women today to make a reader's head spin. Anyone who picks up this book will walk away with a clear sense of how complicated it is to walk the world in a woman's body—and even more so as each day passes. Best of all, Tanenbaum has practical solutions and advice that will cross generations. This is a book for anyone who cares about women and girls—which is to say, this is a book for everyone.

Donna Freitas

Leora Tanenbaum’s gift is speaking directly to young women without judgment or shame about the trickiest of topics—objectification, sexual agency, bodily autonomy—and what and where those lines might be. Sexy Selfie Nation is an indispensable guide to helping them define and make their choices in a culture that sexualizes them from childhood and then blames them when they fight back.

Peggy Orenstein

Have you ever wondered why a young person that you care about dresses like that or posts a selfie with cleavage, bedroom eyes, and tousled hair? I was gripped by Tanenbaum's powerful argument about sexy selfies as an act of resistance against gender-unequal dress coding, image-based sexual abuse, and other forms of unwanted sexualization. Her argument that "being harassed or assaulted may lead you to wear revealing clothing and post sexy selfies," will change how you think about crop tops and short shorts. Rather than lecturing young people about what they wear and post, we should respond to the actual bad behavior: policymakers' inaction on digital privacy and dress-code double standards.
Sexy Selfie Nation presents a nuanced understanding of a confusing (to older adults) set of phenomena, helping readers see that “sexy selfies can sometimes be empowering for individual women” but also that“sexy selfies can backfire against women as a class of people” and that while the “monetization of sexy selfies is rewarding for some,” it's also “risky for all.” I could not put this book down and highlighted probably ever other sentence. “Remember that sexuality is not the problem; violation of consent is the problem.” One of this year's must-reads.

Jennifer S. Hirsch

Leora Tanenbaum called out “slut-shaming” 25 years ago. She was right then, and she’s right today. The book's most important insight is that when girls and women decide to stand up for themselves, this decision can come at a cost. Tanenbaum explains this challenge and offers advice for girls and women, mothers and fathers, on how to handle the sexist culture that remains a threat to girls and women everywhere. Read this book, and then buy another copy for the young person in your life.

Karen Hinton

A crucial book for this moment. Young people and those who care for them need to read this book! We need to stop criminalizing and shaming kids and find ways to respect, support, and empower them as they come of age in their digital world.

Devorah Heitner

Finally, teen girls get the respect they deserve from someone who truly cares. In Sexy Selfie Nation, Leora Tanenbaum acts as a mediator between these girls and their disapproving adults, offering impressive empathy to both sides. This book is an essential account of what teens are thinking when they show off their bodies, and a reminder that a safer, shame-free world is possible.

Nona Willis Aronowitz

Looking at women’s engagements with sexy clothing, racy selfies, and OnlyFans accounts, Leora Tanenbaum explains in this thoughtful, sensitive, and highly captivating book the benefits and dangers of sexualizing women’s bodies. Using both historical examples and numerous interviews, it offers a map and advice on how to navigate today’s toxic culture of social media, commercial objectification, and slut-shaming. Sexy Selfie Nation is a must and timely read to all those who want to understand the increasingly complicated reality where sex and sexuality can be empowering and a feminist means of resistance, while also pointing to the social dangers these practices entail.

Einav Rabinovitch-Fox