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Children's LiteratureIt is vulgar! It is crude! It is funny (at least if you are a ten-year-old boy)! It is . . . the fifth installment of the "Rotten School" series. In this outing, Bernie (the fourth grade hero whose room boasts a life-size poster of himself) is determined to help his dorm win the school's talent show. His purpose is two-fold: first, the winner receives a pair of tickets to see Bernie's favorite band (the world-renowned "Plopps"), and he is convinced the girl of his dreams, April-May June, would accompany him (despite the fact she cannot stand him). Second, a win for Bernie's dorm is a loss for the rival Nyce House, home to his archenemy, the evil (okay, just rich) Sherman Oaks! Not unlike Bernie himself, Sherman is completely lacking in talent; however, he has befriended (read: paid off) the genuinely talented saxophone player who won last year. Desperate to win, Bernie and his friends come up with many acts (each worse than the last), until, by chance, he makes a startling discovery: Chipmunk, the school's shyest student, is an amazing guitarist! There is just one catch: he will only play inside his closet. Luckily, Bernie's ingenuity saves the day and Chipmunk wins the talent show . . . along with a date to the concert with April-May June. Completely without literary merit and proud of it, this book is just the ticket for boys who would rather read in a closet than be caught with a book. Trip Park's wacky, lively illustrations are unpleasantly appropriate and double the humor. 2006, Parachute Publishing/HarperCollins, Ages 9 to 11.