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Do you ever berate yourself over minor happenings? Do you feel unworthy and wonder why God would love you? Do you struggle to overcome memories of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse? If so, you may be suffering from unhealthy shame?which, if not corrected, can produce bitterness and negativity in your life. From the author of the acclaimed book Listening for God comes the life-transforming book Shame Lifter, based on author Marilyn Hontz's personal story of releasing her own shame and embarking instead on a ...
Do you ever berate yourself over minor happenings? Do you feel unworthy and wonder why God would love you? Do you struggle to overcome memories of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse? If so, you may be suffering from unhealthy shame—which, if not corrected, can produce bitterness and negativity in your life. From the author of the acclaimed book Listening for God comes the life-transforming book Shame Lifter, based on author Marilyn Hontz's personal story of releasing her own shame and embarking instead on a life of freedom, forgiveness, and truth. Tyndale House Publishers
In Gratitude ix
Introduction: The Seeds of Shame xiii
One Fears and Tears 1
Two Loved like Crazy 9
Three Good-Bye, My Love 23
Four Neglected 41
Five Loss after Loss 57
Six My Other Father 73
Seven Seeing the "Give" in Forgiveness 93
Eight Forgive and Reforgive 109
Nine Intermingling the Good and the Bad 129
Ten Unlearning the Shame Language 151
Eleven Set Free 169
"Father's Love Letter" 185
Appendix A Recognizing a Shame Giver 189
Appendix B Recognizing a Shame Lifter 191
Appendix C Recognizing a Shame Receiver 193
Appendix D Shame-Based Self-Talk 195
Appendix E The Shame of Sexual Abuse: A Hidden Epidemic 197
My Prayer for You 199
A Note to You from Marilyn 203
Posted January 14, 2011
I thoroughly enjoyed this book! It is the first book that I can say I have enjoyed reading in a very long time. The words of this book are encouraging and are bound to truths unknown and unrealized. I am thankful for the authors as such whose experiences were not in vain, but were use to the aid of many needy people such as myself. Reading this book has caused me to ask myself, "Why not give it all to God because what have I got to lose?" I was glued to the book, had moments where I wanted to cry for the character and I am going too read it again. I will use it as a daily or weekly reference. Thanks for a job well done.
Posted April 17, 2009
Shame Lifter: Replacing Your Fears and Tears with Forgiveness, Truth and Hope
Tyndale House Publishers
Religion/Christian Life/Spiritual Growth
Reviewed by Cindy Loven
Are you a Shame Giver, Shame Receiver, or a Shame Lifter? Author Marilyn Hontz, in this book clearly explains what each of these are, and how to recognize signs in our lives (there is even check lists at the back of the book) She wonderfully presents a interesting book about how we recognize and deal with each of these, in our lives.
Hurting people hurt people. The sooner ,we recognize this fact in the people we deal with daily and the people who we interact with in our lives, the better. When we become aware of this it will help us to deal with those people who seem set on hurting us. It will also help us to understand our own hurts in our lives.
Shame is an ongoing self-deficiency disease. Shame is a powerful tool the enemy uses against us, and the deeper he can root our shame, the more ineffective and dysfunctional we will be as family members, as Christians, and as every day people. Marilyn Hontz, helps us with her book to recognize that shame, to deal with it, and to deal with the process of overcoming shame. Each step of overcoming shame has to be dealt with, we can not go through one step faster than the other, because it often means not truly dealing with our shame.
"God thinks of me as a person of value and I need to agree with Him." A quote from the book, but as we deal with our shame and grow in our understanding, we need to recognize this fact, we are not junk, we are not trash, or garbage, as Satan would love for us to believe, we are HEIRS and Royalty of God.
I truly was blessed and enjoyed this book very much. The chapter dealing with grief truly ministered to me, and I give this book a 5 star rating.
Posted March 2, 2009
Wow! Marilyn's story was so open and honest that it was hard to read at times because I wasn't sure I wanted to suffer the pain and heartbreak that she felt throughout her life. I generally keep a "quote book" beside my reading table so that I can jot down little thoughts and treasures through the quotes I get from books, but there are whole chapters in Shame Lifter that I would have liked to write down! (Chapter 5 especially!) When I first started reading this book, I didn't really think I would fall into the category of having "shame." After all, I'm a pretty cheerful person. But, when you really listen and hear Marilyn's story, there are many places where I could have inserted my name instead of hers. ("Perfectionism" anyone? Yep--that's caused by shame too.)
What I really enjoyed about this book was the frankness and sincerity of Marilyn's words. This is her story--one that many of us may share or mirror with our own lives. The sad part is that many of us may not recognize that we are filled with shame. (Myself included.) This book will make you more aware of your past hurts, but more importantly, give you ways to move beyond those hurts to be set-free of the shame and doubt in your life!
At the end of each chapter there are focus questions, as well as a section that gives ideas for becoming Shame Lifters. There is also a scriptural-based prayer that deals with the subject matter of the previous chapter. At the end of the book is a beautiful Love Letter called Father's Love Letter. (I had seen it before and am SO glad it was included in this book because I think many of us need to be reminded every now and again that we really DO MATTER. That God really does love us--even if we don't live up to our own or someone else's standards.) There are also lists of behaviors that classify people as shame givers and receivers. (You'll have to read the book to find out the actual definitions for those terms.) And, some beautiful letters that were written by Marilyn.
I am actually going to buy several copies of this book for MANY of the women in my life. Even if you are not normally attracted to "this type of book," please read it anyway. I'm certain that there is someone in your life that could use it for themselves. If nothing else, it will help you become more of a Shame Lifter in the lives of people around you.
Posted March 2, 2009
I was excited to get the chance to read this book - it is dealing with such a huge issue - shame. Marilyn approaches this issue from the heart because she dealt with it her whole life, sometimes not even realizing it. She tells her personal story and it is so interesting and gripping that I read through this book in two days. I wouldn't necessarily recommend doing that, because it is meant to really help you dig deep and work through shame issues you might have. But you need to understand that while I can read a non-fiction book in a day or two, I struggle through most non-fiction books. I didn't struggle here at all. Marilyn's writing is wonderfully light and easy to read, while incredibly engaging. Her story will pull you in while the end of the chapters will help you heal. At the end of each chapter she has 3 things to do...
1) How About You? There are a few questions that get you thinking about whether what Marilyn dealt with in that chapter might be something that you need to deal with too.
2) Shame Lifters. Here Marilyn mentions some things you can do to start working through these issues, practical self-help, along with scripture to lift you up.
3) A Prayer. The chapter ends with a prayer that you can pray that helps pour your heart out to your Heavenly Father.
I can't even begin to tell you the list of people that I want to pass this book onto! It is wonderful! Shame Lifters could change the body of Christ one reader at a time by letting them see themselves as God sees them instead of through the eyeglasses of shame that they usually wear.
Posted March 2, 2009
No text was provided for this review.