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Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure . . . and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner
     

Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure . . . and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner

3.5 6
by Pamela Madsen
 

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A funny, sexy, and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary woman.

At 43 years old, Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17. She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues. But she felt a growing sexual

Overview

A funny, sexy, and wildly entertaining look at the rewards of fully realized desire in the life of one ordinary woman.

At 43 years old, Pamela Madsen was happily married to the man she fell in love with at 17. She was the mother of two sons and had a successful career as a nationally known advocate for fertility issues. But she felt a growing sexual restlessness and yearning that wouldn't let up. And though Pamela loved her husband and didn't want to have an affair, she knew deep down that she needed more, much more. In Shameless, she tells the story of how she found it--and not only kept her marriage intact but made it stronger than ever.

In this fearless memoir, Pamela tells the story of her search for sexual, personal, and spiritual wholeness. She explores, in riveting detail, what she experienced at the hands of sexual healers, men who brought her untold pleasure (and became her close friends in the process).

But this is not just another sex book: Shameless is also an account of how Pamela's journey healed her issues with food and body image and most important, helped her weave the many roles that she played--daughter, friend, partner, mother--into one fully integrated person. It is a story about a woman falling in love with herself and a call to other women to do the same.

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Like countless women her age, at 43 Madsen was juggling many roles (wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend), but despite a rich personal life and career as a nationally known advocate about fertility issues, she felt unfulfilled. Those feelings came to a head at a summer spa-day: as four companions, two of whom were having affairs, dished on their sexual escapades, Madsen felt left out in a way she hadn't before. The author, who'd been with her husband since age 15 (they married at 20), writes, "but an unnamed desire was there--rumbling, insistent, impolite, and, scariest of all, bubbling toward the surface." A chat with a gay friend who used erotic massage to fulfill his sensual needs--while staying faithful to his husband--was the turning point. As she explores and celebrates her sexuality, the author faces her body-image issues, and by year's end, she's restless again: she wants to tell her husband what she's been up to. New Year's Day brings a frank talk with Gavin, who joins her for a session with the "Tantric Tiger," but declines other adventures. Although not what she'd hoped, Madsen writes, "There is security in our love." In this daring, funny book, the author accepts herself and sets out to help others find fulfillment. (Jan.)
Christiane Northrup

Shameless is enthralling, hilarious and incredibly courageous. A most heady--and sexy combination. Pamela Madsen is the living, breathing embodiment of the power of pleasure to transform one's life.
Annie Sprinkle

If you've ever dreamt of becoming a real live sex Goddess Pamela Madsen will show you the way; with grace, integrity and joyful abandon! "Find true pleasure" with this liberating book chock full of adventures from the heart. This is the first of a whole new genre in sex education books.
PublishersWeekly.com / Shelftalker

I love this book as an adult book-group choice because it addresses so many issues familiar to women in our community's book groups: sex, marriage, motherhood, aging, weight, body image, identity, shame, fear, courage, risk.
co-author of The Ethical Slut and Radical Ecstasy Dossie Easton

Shameless sex goddess Pamela Madsen treats us to an astonishing memoir of one woman's journey into her precious inner wildness. This brave suburban wife and mother unveils the secrets of an unbelievably expanded sexuality in which desire becomes a virtue, and sexual greed opens the gates to spiritual ecstasy and orgasmic revelations.
Wayne C. Shields

Pamela Madsen's new book about healthy sexuality, Shameless, reminds you to tell the truth about yourself, embrace the most challenging topics, surround yourself with supportive friends and family, and celebrate your inner diva.
Kirkus Reviews

Fertility advocate Madsen recounts her midlife sexual self-reclamation.

The narrative begins with the 42-year-old mother of two telling her colorfully neurotic women friends that she feels "trapped in [her] own life" and sexually unfulfilled. Refusing to break matrimonial vows in pursuit of an extramarital affair, she sought out gay erotic-massage therapists in hopes of easing the sexual restlessness that a steady diet of "fantasy, romance novels, and porn" could not. The experts she met reawakened her senses and helped her learn to love a body she viewed as overweight, aging and inadequate. Though generically—even stereotypically—handsome as men, they, like most of the other narrative figures, are somewhat flat and serve limited textual roles—in this case, to initiate a nervous but determined middle-aged woman in the ways of "sacred sexuality." With the help of her teachers, Madsen explored her most forbidden desires, including a fondness for erotic games of bondage and domination. In so doing, she was transformed from "a bundle of missed opportunities" into the envy of all her adulterously "liberated" friends. Not content to savor her experiences alone, she went on to earn online notoriety for daring revelations she made under the name "Riverdale Goddess." The more she comes to terms with her sexuality, she writes, the more she finds that other issues—in particular, those pertaining to weight and food—fall by the wayside. Madsen even found renewed zest in her marriage and in the "freakish" monogamy that seems so out of step with the disregard for marital commitment she sees around her. The language is at times clumsy and some of the dialogue slightly wooden, but the edgy quirkiness of the story, combined with the author's honesty and character-saving ability to laugh at herself, make the book an engaging read.

Flawed, but bold and surprisingly moving.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781609617233
Publisher:
Rodale
Publication date:
01/18/2011
Sold by:
Barnes & Noble
Format:
NOOK Book
Sales rank:
598,111
File size:
2 MB

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Meet the Author

Pamela Madsen is the founder of the American Fertility Association and one of the nation's most outspoken fertility and sexuality educators and advocates. She lives in Riverdale, New York.

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Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure...and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner 3.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 6 reviews.
LaMotheBookReviews More than 1 year ago
Pam is the founder of the American Fertility Association (AFA) and has always been full of wit, laughter, advice and, lets face it, brash, out spoken and even sacrificial while pursuing whatever she feels needs to be uncovered and shared in the world of infertility. In the case of her book, Shameless, I can see that she is still on that same path (to be an advocate and speak for those who can't or won't) and I am hoping that it doesn't lead to self destruction. In Shameless, Pam is naked for all the world to see. People who worked with her in the past, family, friends and strangers alike will see Pam as a woman who was entering mid-life and didn't feel desirable or sexually fulfilled so she went on a journey and takes her readers with her whether you want to go or not...because the book is so compelling that once you pick it up its hard to stop turning the pages. It could be from the shock of Pam sharing her most intimate moments, thoughts and feelings or it could be because you can't believe that this is written by a real live woman and not by some man with a female pen name writing a titillating bodice-ripper for an audience looking for a light read. Because Pam found a way to reach into herself and find those hidden desires she feels the need to set an example shouting that you too can Ditch the Diet, Get Naked, and Find True Pleasure. If it takes paying for months of one way touch massage or group masturbation or even spending thousands on retreats, she has recorded every moment (it seems) between the pages of this 'no-holds-barred account'. Pam seems very elated with the outcome of her journey and is now an advocate for Scared Intimacy, Sexological Bodywork and BD/SM and is willing to share it all. The part that I found most disturbing were the sections of the book that involved her husband. I personally ended up feeling sorry for him knowing that after 25 years of marriage that he didn't want to loose his sweetheart but couldn't possibly keep up with her on this road that she had hacked out of the desert of dullness with her own two hands (or hired hands....however you want to look at it). As long as she is home for dinner then he is happy but he doesn't want to be involved in her extracurricular activities. HE isn't into spanking, flogging or anything out of the 'norm'. For those looking for a voyeuristic read, Shameless: How I Ditched the Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure...and Somehow Got Home in Time To Cook Dinner is the book for you. Will you be motivated to find SOMETHING that will make your life more exciting?, adventurous?, or fulfilling?, possibly. On the other hand you will not find recipes for mac and cheese or low cal quick fix meals. For this reviewer, my hope is that Pam's next book (and I am sure there will be another one) is less indulgent and will focus on those men and women who are not just bored with their sex lives but have truly been traumatized by their past sexual experiences and need help to live happy and healthy (sexual) lives.
Soleil42 More than 1 year ago
This book tells of one woman's quest for sexual empowerment. The book is highly personal and yet it speaks to all of us, even men, about what it takes to find our sexual selves. This is amazing, ground-breaking stuff, Pamela is brave, honest, and funny. Read her book and be inspired. She is a really good writer but it is the content of this book that makes it so outstanding. She shares her life with the reader, not to shock but to help us all heal from the shame that gets in the way of our pleasure and power. This is much more then just another book about sex. It is insightful, unique and very moving. I recommend it even if you don't usually read books about sex.
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