She'll Take It [NOOK Book]

Overview

I, Melanie Zeitgar, do solemnly swear I will never shoplift again. Ever!*

*Exceptions: Break-ups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don't get a call back, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from Mom, no phone calls from CLOML (Current Love of My Life), and any other unforeseen tragic ...
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She'll Take It

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Overview

I, Melanie Zeitgar, do solemnly swear I will never shoplift again. Ever!*

*Exceptions: Break-ups, weight gain, job losses, crummy auditions, great auditions where you don't get a call back, high Visa bills, cavities, the trauma of using automated telephone menus, surprise visits from Mom, no phone calls from CLOML (Current Love of My Life), and any other unforeseen tragic bouts of stress. Amen.

Meet Melanie Zeitgar. Aspiring actress-turned-bored temp. The Queen of Divine Quips. And a total kleptomaniac. For Mel, stealing is a lot like love: she knows the right thing when she sees it. Unfortunately, she sees it everywhere: Pretty soaps. Socks. Lipstick. Cashmere sweaters. Tampons. Condoms. Candy bars. Perfume. Make-up. The occasional vibrator. Hey, can she help it that she has a special, and unfortunately, very illegal, talent? She doesn't mean to take things. Just like she doesn't mean to tell people she's a struggling clock artist. Or continue eating chocolate. Or wait for a call from Ray, the Beautiful Musician Who Must Have Been in a Horrible Accident that Broke His Dialing Fingers.

Melanie's biggest rule--in life, love, and shoplifting--is this: Don't Get Caught. But sometimes, even the best klepto has an off day. Now, with every part of her life veering zanily out of control, Melanie's met a guy whose heart is hers for the taking. . .if she's brave enough to pay the price. . .

Move over, Shopaholic. With perfect comic slight of hand, She'll Take It chronicles the adventures of the most neurotic public enemy ever to hit the Big Apple. It should be a crime to have this much fun reading a book! --Liz Ireland, author of How I Stole Her Husband
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780758266439
  • Publisher: Kensington
  • Publication date: 3/1/2006
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 924,192
  • File size: 630 KB

Meet the Author

Mary Randolph Carter, author of American Junk, Garden Junk, and American Family Style (all Viking Studio), is the Vice President of Advertising at Polo/Ralph Lauren. Carter lives in New York City and Dutchess County, New York.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 2 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 23, 2006

    I laughed out loud!

    I thought this book was hilarious and found myself feeling like a bit of a klepto myself. Melanie is a very likeable, flawed, warm and imperfect heroine. Wish I had it to read all over again.

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  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    interesting character study

    After every binge, Melanie Zeitgar vows never again. However, the cycle repeats itself whenever something goes wrong. So the wannabe actress fails to get a part that auditioned for, she steals from some store she breaks up with a boyfriend, she shoplifts visits from mom monster thievery her vibrator has no battery, ¿stealaholic¿ at work. Melanie is a kleptomaniac having an urge to purloin stuff whenever she perceives something has gone wrong in her life. --- Currently she is binging on chocolate and shoplifting as her squeeze, Ray the musician, has failed to call her. However, as she rationalizes his failure to communicate by wondering if her beloved might have been in an accident, she meets a hunk whose heart she must steal as he has purloined hers, but the problem is he is also the guy who could send her to jail for robbery. --- Though Melanie is an interesting character, she is also unlikable and consequently will not gains reader sympathy for her kleptomania. Still her thieving reactions to anything she deems negative makes her a fascinating protagonist especially how often afterward she vows not to steal again. The chick lit format allows some extra insight into her personality, but the underlying deep rooted psychological causes of her kleptomania are revealed in the latter half of the tale after the audience¿s opinion on the protagonist is cemented. Harriet Klausner

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