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In less than five months, Justin Halpern's Sh*t My Dad Says went from Twitter to TV. CBS picked up these funny rants as a comedy project just a month after HarperCollins acquired the book rights. All of which is interesting, but much, much less funny and outrageous than the voluble wisdom of Halpern's outspoken dad. Samples: "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed." "Pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants."