Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved

Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Guide to Knowing if Your Relationship Can--and Should--be Saved

4.2 10
by Lundy Bancroft, JAC Patrissi
     
 

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A guide to making the ultimate relationship decision from the author of Why Does He Do That?

In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward-with or without their

Overview

A guide to making the ultimate relationship decision from the author of Why Does He Do That?

In this supportive and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft, the author of Why Does He Do That?, and communication specialist JAC Patrissi offer a way for women to practically take stock of their relationships and move forward-with or without their partners.

Women involved in chronically frustrating or unfulfilling relationships will learn to:

  • Tell the difference between a healthy-yet-difficult relationship and one that is really not working
  • Recognize the signs that their partner has a serious problem
  • Stop waiting to see what happens-and make their own growth the top priority
  • Prepare for life without their partner-even as they keep trying to make the relationship work

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Relationships usually reach the point where one partner must decide whether to leave or keep trying to make it work. This decision becomes more difficult as women (the book's target audience) negotiate relationships with partners who are abusive, mentally ill, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or seriously immature. This comprehensive book helps women learn how to establish boundaries, recognize the signs of these behaviors, decide how much they want to support their partners through their personal growth and finally, if they decide to leave, how to do so safely and effectively. Bancroft (Why Does He Do That?) and women's advocate Patrissi provide checklists that highlight behavioral differences between unhealthy relationships and those with normal communication and negotiation patterns. Though they briefly touch on the possibility that the woman is the problematic half, the book focuses on men with demonstrable issues. Women needing to check in objectively on their relationship's health will find this book quite useful, but those looking to improve an otherwise decent relationship will find scant details. (Nov.)
Library Journal
Writing with the abused woman in mind, domestic violence specialists Bancroft (Why Does He Do That?) and Patrissi (founder, Vermont Victim Assistance Acad.) have written a comprehensive book that readers in troubled relationships can use to assess whether to stay or leave and steps for getting out. The authors help readers analyze the root issues—immaturity, addiction, mental health—and determine the gravity of the problem. They then guide them through setting rules for changing a salvageable relationship and even prepare them for what to expect when the relationship improves. The last section of the book details how to begin a new period of freedom, choose a new partner, and create a new relationship. Excellent guidance from respectable sources.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781101478820
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
11/01/2011
Sold by:
Penguin Group
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
432
Sales rank:
72,104
File size:
737 KB
Age Range:
18 Years

Meet the Author

Lundy Bancroft has spent the last 15 years of his career specializing in abusive men. The author of articles in medical journals and professional books, he is the former co-director of Emerge, the nation's first program for abusive men. Now he trains various non- profit and state and judicial agencies in working with domestic abuse.
JAC Patrissi is the founder and former director of the Vermont Victim Assistance Academy. She facilitates the Growing a New Heart Retreat series for women healing from destructive relationships.

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Should I Stay or Should I Go? 4.2 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 10 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is by far the best book about abusive relationships that I've ever read. It is full of great advice and good ideas for finding peace and finding yourself again after abuse. It's more than just a book to read; it's practically an interactive book, with lots of exercises that really get to the heart of any situation. I've read it twice, recommended it frequently, and am just about to purchase yet another copy for a friend of mine.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book gives options, questions and online even has work for your partner if they are willin. It guides you to examine and repair your relationship. If thats niot possible itprepares you to move forward.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this book in 4 days. It is better to take it in small steps. For me it enabled me to take a look at things and set boundaries for change. My relationship was annoying but not trxtbook abusive. So its kind of a guide and if you take steps to make things heslthy and it doesnt work..at least you know you did take those steps before you leave.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Lundy is a leading expert in teaching about abuse. If you are a woman who even suspects slightly that she is in a controlling, uneven, abusive relationship - this book is a wealth of help. Well spoken and studied, the teachings are excellent, but relevant to an abused female only. I tried reading it through, but found it was not applicable to female abusers with a male victim. There are just so many hardwired and cultural differences between men and women, that the causes, expression, methods, treatment, and solutions are too different for a book with this topic. IF they ever get around to properly addressing male victims of abuse, I look forward to reading what books come as a result.
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