SignMates: Understanding the Games People Play

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Overview

Somehow, your relationship that started out so wonderfully is having problems. Or perhaps you'd like to anticipate what problems could occur in a potential relationship. More importantly, you need to know how to resolve the problems.

Problems of interpersonal relationships are most often caused because everyone has conscious and unconscious needs and behaviors that can conflict with those of another. Recognizing and dealing with them can save ...

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SignMates: An Astrological Guide to Love & Intimacy

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Overview

Somehow, your relationship that started out so wonderfully is having problems. Or perhaps you'd like to anticipate what problems could occur in a potential relationship. More importantly, you need to know how to resolve the problems.

Problems of interpersonal relationships are most often caused because everyone has conscious and unconscious needs and behaviors that can conflict with those of another. Recognizing and dealing with them can save relationships. You'll find out how to do this in Bernie Ashman's SignMates.

Contrary to what some people think, your astrological sign doesn't "force" you to do anything. It is simply an indicator of what you are. By understanding how the signs relate, you can better understand relationships and how to overcome problems that may arise. In a nutshell, that is what this book will do for you.

The book relates potential problems in a relationship between every sign of the zodiac. For example, if you are a Virgo and your partner is a Scorpio, you may play the "Sabotage Game," where you make it difficult for your partner to reach goals because of unresolved anger or jealousy. To deal with this you need to become aware of negative, unproductive comments and support your partner. Two other games and coping strategies are given.

Or perhaps you are a Libra and your partner is an Aquarius. You may experience the "Lovers and Strangers Game" where your sense of closeness vacillates between extremes. This is a test to see if you can handle emotional heat. You have to be willing to simply and honestly discuss your feelings. Again, two more games and strategies for dealing with the conflicts that cause them are given.

No matter what sign you and your partner are, this book will pinpoint the potential pitfalls and how to deal with them. Also included for each pairing is the good news, a "rainbow" at the end of the difficulties, which indicates how great such a relationship can be. Ideal for both non-astrologers and astrological pros, this book can help save your relationship.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781567180466
  • Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd.
  • Publication date: 9/1/2000
  • Series: Astrology Series
  • Edition description: 1 ED
  • Pages: 504
  • Sales rank: 931,583
  • Product dimensions: 7.62 (w) x 9.02 (h) x 1.03 (d)

Meet the Author

Bernie Ashman has been a professional astrologer for almost thirty years, having discovered his passion for astrology while reading Dane Rudyhar’s Astrology of Personality. Since that time, his astrology practice has expanded to include writing, lecturing, and counseling clients from all over the world. He is now a recognized authority in the astrology field, and his writings have earned accolades from his readers and peers alike.

"I see astrology as a wonderful blueprint in assisting individuals to more clearly define their life choices," says Ashman, and his person-centered approach to astrology has made him a favorite with his readers. Ashman is known for his ability to make even the most complex topics accessible to the novice astrologer.

Ashman is the author of SignMates: Understanding the Games People Play (Llewellyn, 2000), and Astrological Games People Play (ACS, 1987), and Roadmap to Your Future (ACS, 1994, reprinted by American Federation of Astrologers, 2000). He has also written for various astrology magazines and journals, including Dell Horoscope, Astro Signs, The Mountain Astrologer, and Welcome to Planet Earth. His insightful interpretations have also been used for three different astrology software programs.

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Part I

The twelve Sun signs are the key players in these games. This chapter provides a comprehensive overview of your own and your partner's personality type according to your Sun signs. This handy reference describes the psychological profile of each zodiac sign.
The Sun in astrology points to your creative vitality and important ego needs. The Sun sign represents the areas of life where you want to shine. It is your quest for pride and happiness.

Your astrological Sun rules your heart. It is your center just as the real Sun is the center of your solar system. Romantic love plays dramatically on your heartstrings, in tune with our individual Sun signs.

If you are not sure which sign you were born under, you can look this up here, as the beginning and ending dates for each sign are listed. If you were born on the cusp (on the first or last day of a sign), you could be either of two signs. In this case, to be absolutely sure of your sign you will need the help of a professional astrologer, who can determine this for you according to your birth time and place.

Aries (March 21-April 20) The Ram
Element: Fire Ruling Planet: Mars Aries can dart past you at the speed of light. The Ram is a restless sign. They can seem like they are intravenously fed with caffeine. Lightning-quick impulses emanate from their soul. The one thing that Aries individuals fear most is boredom. They will do anything to avoid it--even wake sleeping dogs. The key phrase for Aries in traditional astrology is "I am," and those born under this sign project this image to the world from their first breath. "I am here," they proclaim in a loud cry that echoes through a lifetime. This very me-focused sign is constantly in search of ways to confirm their identity . . . and has no compunctions about apprising the world of their findings.

A shadow of Aries is impatience. Another is not finishing what is started. When they begin to master these shortcomings, life seems more rewarding and people appreciate them more. There is no other sign quite as direct and candid. Their bluntness can be either startling or as refreshing as a splash of cold water, depending on the psychological "climate" of those to whom it is directed. Give them their fair due and Aries of either sex can demonstrate remarkable bravery during a crisis. One good burst of adrenaline can transform them into champions or daredevils extraordinaire. They are often frightened into acting courageously. I am not kidding!

No other sign, except possibly Sagittarius, can be as embarrassed by twenty-twenty hindsight. The axiom "Fools rush in where angels fear to tread" could well have been inspired by this sign. When they learn from the past, it is a sign of high intelligence. If they refuse to learn from mistakes, their life is made difficult. Like Peter Pan, Aries never really wants to grow up. However reluctantly, they do mature when taking on more responsibility. They lead well by being role models. Gloria Steinem is an Aries. Her willingness to challenge society's limiting view of the roles of women helped point the way to the fiery women's liberation movement.

Aries is a naturally competitive sign that hates to lose at whatever they are good at doing- and sometimes even at what they don't do so well! The ruling planet of Aries is fiery Mars. Anger is a natural component of Aries' character. So is the impatience to get something started. When Aries learns to finish what is started, they are more likable. When unfinished business looms in their path, they're as antsy as can be. If you need motivation, spend some time in the company of this fireball. Let one coach you out of that lazy streak. They can get a fire lit that can awaken your creative impulses. Self-starting seems to be the birthright of this high energy fire sign.

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, Aries can be a live wire. Their gung ho enthusiasm to pursue a whirlwind relationship can be followed by "what am I doing here?" ambivalence. Their desire to explore their own agenda to the exclusion of anyone else's can be irritating. Sometimes it is the sudden change of agenda that angers others. Their need for attention is strong. However, it is this self-reliance that attracts people. Aries people are often attracted to active and boldly assertive individuals. Aries men and women are easier to be with when their career goals are reached. Each has tremendous intensity and passion to pour into work and love. Aries is called the warrior sign for good reason. Aries' characteristics are spontaneous action and courage.

The Aries Woman She is apt to hurt your feelings once in a while by dealing a blow to your ego. Get over it--she does quickly enough. This is one nice thing about an Aries woman. She is often willing to move ahead and give you another chance. She might keep you in tow, dragging along your old kit bag of peccadilloes, if she's fond enough of you. Don't be scared away by her anger. Actually, it is time to worry when the Ram is too quiet. Those of us not born under this sign can get nervous when she holds back her anger. Let her vent to her heart's content. It may be uncomfortable for the moment, but good for the long term.

It is better to deal with the Aries woman directly. Don't wait for the "right time" to talk unless she specifically asks you to hold off. A tired Aries is best left alone until her battery is recharged--it quickly recharges anyway! Aries people can be a lot easier to talk to when they have a chance to work off their stress through exercise.

The Ram can surprise you by suddenly lapsing into a sensitive mood. Don't be lulled into a false sense of security. It can disappear in a flash. The sharp sword of this Mars-ruled sign (remember, Mars was the god of war) can be wielded without warning. Let her be the warrior when needed. She will love you for this. Let her be assertive and she will respect you. The good news is that the Aries woman will let you be angry in response to her anger. She may even expect you to fight back. She respects this, too! She actually thrives on this type of invigoration.

The sparring can become playful and lead to deeper communication. The female Aries is naturally competitive. It is an inherent part of her survival instincts. Contrary to popular belief, Aries can put their thoughts into words. If you can talk with emotion, you are more likely to get the her attention. Do get to the point fairly quickly before something else grabs her attention!

The Aries Man He looks and acts like a displaced Stone Age hunter. The Aries man often appears a lot more insensitive than he really is at heart. His bark may be a lot worse than his bite. He believes in forging along a direct path through life. His patience is measured by how long he must wait until starting the next action. This is a fast-paced person. Keeping up with the male Aries is quite a feat. If you follow him in a car, you had best stay close behind because he is liable to rush through a red light and lose you in a jiffy. You are expected to keep up to his speed. People can get tuckered out trying to do things with Aries. He has a tireless energy that does not stop until his tank is truly on empty. A little rest and he is off and running again.

If you want to learn how to be more self-motivated, just hang around an Aries man for a while. You can't find a better role model. He often picks and chooses his favorite areas of life to pursue in the fast lane. However, don't be surprised to find him relaxing at the beach or watching a ball game at the house. He fully enjoys his leisure. Whatever you do, allow him the time he needs to passionately go after his interests.

He is a territorial creature. It comes as a standard birthright for the Aries man. He needs to know where his world begins and ends. In turn, you control your own turf. There's no guessing game here. He clearly defines the boundary line between your territory and his. The Aries man can spot a squatter as fast as a cat can smell a mouse--so let him have the illusion that he owns his own world. He can be generous to those he loves. The Aries man will fight for you when someone else might lack the courage to do so. He can irritate you with his self-centeredness, yet charm you by making you feel powerful and important.

Taurus (April 21-May 21) The Bull
Element: Earth Ruling Planet: Venus They move with the greatest of ease. Comfort, especially creature comfort, is their birthright. Taurus, the Bull, moves with a gait that's steady and sure. Taurus is almost artful in its languid deliberation. It's as though they are moving in slow motion (and enjoying themselves), while the rest of us are rushing about our business in real time. This is a Sun sign that can appreciate beauty in all its forms. Venus, its ruler, must have created sunrises and sunsets by weaving easygoing Taurean magic into nature's panorama. Taurus' patience is as enduring as a great mountain, unmoved by the mightiest of winds.

One shadow of earthy Taurus is stubbornness. Another is excessive attachment to material things. Tempering these traits makes life more fun for them and the rest of us. If they don't gain some degree of control over these shadows, their life becomes one of great self-indulgence. They still might have fun, unless they lose a person or thing that they are attached to, like a tot with a teddy bear. This sign bellows like the dickens if threatened with giving up its beloved attachments. In business matters practicality reigns. The instinct to invest money is strong. Business savvy develops before puberty for many of them. Taurus has an inner sense of the value of things. It's no wonder that the keyword phrase for Taurus in traditional astrology is "I own" or "I have." Possessions are gods to this sign. The Bull can excel in music and art. Taurus is ruled by the aesthetic-minded Venus (as is Libra). The muse consciousness can dance, sing, and play music through the soul of this sign at an early age.

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, Taureans can be quite faithful and reliable. Their stabilizing effect on others is well appreciated. Sensuality is a must in their life. A lover must be inclined toward this kind of pleasure, or be willing to be guided accordingly. Taureans don't seem to bothered by the more fast-paced signs. The Bull will simply wait for others to slow down. Taureans enjoy life on their own terms. The Bull does not always compromise easily, but will do so to avoid extreme conflicts. Taureans are attracted to people who are relatively calm and possess a strong sense of managing finances. The most predominant of Taurean characteristics are persistence and an innate ability to find inner peace.

The Taurus Woman She is often attractive. Venus, the ruler of this sign, blesses the Taurus woman with an appreciation of beauty. She may not be as easygoing as others are quick to assume. She knows what she needs from life. Her determination to establish comfort and happiness comes as a birthright. She has a strong sense of color, and is a natural image consultant. Her clothes may seem to be fashioned exclusively for her body. She is a radiant sign that attracts relationships.

Since Taurus is an earth sign, a strong business sense is common. A Taurus woman knows how to make a living. Creating a budget is second nature to her. Lovers are fond of her practicality and worldly savvy.

The Taurus woman can be possessive and sometimes demanding, but usually she is quite fair. She admires individuals who follow through on their promises. Lying to her would be a tragic mistake. It offends her terribly. It is better to let her deal with the truth in her own way. Believe me, she can do this better than most of us. Be gentle-she expects this. Be reasonable, and she will trust you. Be generous, and she will love you. She enjoys creating a romantic atmosphere with you. She may even agree to go camping with you in the wilderness. Celebrating anniversaries and returning to the place you first met are ways of showing her love for you.

Don't fault her for wanting to know about your views concerning ownership and money. She has business instincts and needs to believe that you truly value her. Her faith in you can fill you with the confidence to accomplish great things in life. She only asks that you cherish her and show it once in a while. Although communication means much to her, remember this, talk without action may be viewed as meaningless through her soft, Venusian eyes. She is a "show me" girl!

The Taurus Man He walks firmly, like he knows where he is going, whether he does or not. The Bull is persistent in reaching his goals and making his dreams come true. He expects the support of loved ones. He can be hurt or angry if you don't believe in him. He carries himself through life with confidence, that is, until he meets a situation that is bigger than he is. The Bull will then either try to charge through the obstacle or retreat to find a more comfortable path. Patience is a strength in the male Taurus. However, the Taurus man will act with swift impatience when his livelihood is threatened. There is an opportunistic dimension to the male Taurus that is like a sixth sense when it comes to financial opportunity.

Stubbornness does not endear the Bull to others. A lack of imagination, or failure to be adventurous, can irritate those they love. It is their willingness to care and make a person feel safe that adds great longevity to their relationships. He appreciates stability. His focus on his career can be nicely balanced with a calm home life. The male Taurus hates stress at home probably more than at work. A show of anger can be difficult for a Taurus to handle. Sometimes a lover will find this the only way to get through the Bull's thick skin.

Taurus can honor a commitment with true sincerity. This is a sign that loves to build enduring things, whether it is a relationship, career, or house. They like people who are nurturing and consistently maintain a loving atmosphere. Your Taurus mate can be a great chef in the kitchen, and it may seem like he knows just the recipe to capture your heart.

Gemini (May 22-June 21) The Twins
Element: Air Ruling Planet: Gemini They are the masters of duality. The Twins are curious to see what the world can teach, and what they can teach the world. Geminis only pretend to travel in a straight line. Their perceptions can take in an entire panorama in an instant. This sign can stop on a dime and change directions as smoothly as a champion Olympic skater. Geminis enjoy moving simultaneously on several fronts while they juggle multiple ideas effortlessly.

One shadow of airy Gemini is nervous anxiety. Another is a lack of concentration. Overcoming these tendencies makes life more user-friendly for them and more predictable for those of us who live with them. This is probably the most adaptable of all the signs. A common mistaken assumption is that Geminis cannot get to the depth of a subject. One area in which Geminis will not (and better not) compromise is in striving for mental or educational excellence! Those born under this sign make wonderful consultants or teachers. Geminis can paint word pictures that brilliantly reframe life for the rest of us.

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, Geminis are diversified. They can be fun to be around because of their vivid imaginations. Geminis are attracted to people who communicate easily and intelligently. Geminis do not seek or honor commitments that interfere with their right to free thinking. Read this last sentence again--it may be the most important one in this section. In traditional astrology, the key phrase for this sign is "I think." The Twins won't completely reveal their thoughts and value intellectual freedom. This air sign can do two or three things simultaneously, while many of us are still reading the directions. It is ruled by the winged messenger, Mercury. The mind is treasured by this sign. Thoughts are about as valuable as money in the bank to many of them. The main attributes of Gemini are mental imaging power and the ability to clearly translate life experiences into understandable terms.

The Gemini Woman She thinks as fast as she walks--and I mean fast! The curious Twins open their eyes wide when learning adventures present themselves. The Gemini woman is an artist with words. She is adept at handling herself well in most social situations. She will not expect you to be as articulate as she can be, but she does need to hear you talk. Trust comes directly from the spoken word with this sign.

The rap on Gemini is that it is a sign lacking steady focus. The Gemini woman can be absorbed in one thing and, in an instant, be captivated by something else. This is a sign that needs multiple outlets. The more diverse her activities are, the more loving she will be. Gemini will not waste much time on people, places, or things that are not mentally challenging. Boredom is not a comfortable state of existence for this sign. It is best to keep learning with the Gemini woman. She really respects intelligence and open-mindedness.

Adaptability is an endearing feature of this sign. It comes guaranteed at birth. Geminis delight in being with people whose likes and dislikes are different than their own. It's true! They're probably excited by the mental adventure of being able to coexist with foreign entities. The Gemini woman expects to have her own unique ideas tolerated and accepted.

Geminis like to travel. When they're on the move is often the best time to really get to know them, whether traveling around town or across the country. The Gemini woman is easy to get to know on one hand, yet complicated on the other. The duality of the Twins is important to acknowledge. She will extend a warm and open hand of love and friendship to you, but the other hand seems to be withheld. It may take years for her to truly reach out to you. If she does, consider yourself lucky. This is part of the hidden side of this deeply perceptive sign. The female Gemini is even more mysterious than the man in this way. She'll let you read her to an extent, but she retains a hidden set of books exclusively for her own playful imagination. Enjoy her dance of the seven veils, but don't expect her to discard them too quickly and reveal herself to you. Let her become known to you in her own way and on her own terms. She is a treasure worth waiting for--honest!

The Gemini Man He is a fun-filled puzzle. The Gemini man has a way of performing that is not so evident until you really watch him in action over and over again. You almost need a hidden video camera to detect what's happening. His actions often run contrary to his thoughts, but he still manages to get the job done. He loves to teach, talk, discuss, consult, and converse some more. Show that you are listening and you may have a friend forever.

His judgment might be questionable. It is okay to confront him; however, he may not listen. He may not even hear you if his mind is moving too fast or is already fixed on a decision. Start a sentence with his name if you really want to get his attention.

President John F. Kennedy was a fine example of how powerful a speaker a Gemini can be. His words could inspire the nation, as can others born under this loquacious sign. A Gemini man is capable of solving complex problems when he is really interested in doing so. He often loves to read. Show him you are knowledgeable about current events and news. He loves to engage in an occasional mental quiz. He can be cunningly assertive. You may not even realize you are losing a battle until after the fact. He hates to be accused of lying, although he's an expert at clouding the truth. He will often say he didn't understand what you needed or find another way of playing ignorant (or innocent!).

The Gemini man is fun to have as a partner. He is witty and insightful. His love of finding diversified ways to have fun and to learn are stimulating. His way of communicating invigorates the psyche. If you want mental adventures, then you have found the right partner!

Cancer (June 22-July 23) The Crab
Element: Water Ruling Planet: The Moon Moodiness. Yes, it comes standard with this sign. The moods of Cancer are what puzzle the rest of us the most about this very emotional sign. Deep introspection can eclipse the face of a Cancer person. He or she may look depressed or sad one moment, and happy the next. Don't become too obsessed with the downside--it can pass like a cloud over the Moon. I should say, don't become too fond of the happy face, because it may suddenly vanish. The good news is that the phases of Cancer moods change about as fast as those of its ruling planet, the Moon. This sign can give the illusion of being timid. I advise you to never make this assumption blindly. Put Cancer to the test and the Crab can react ferociously if you threaten its security.

A shadow of Cancer is fear. Another shadow is cast by unclear dependency needs. When Cancers can overcome these areas of life, their sense of security feels less threatened, and they are more generous toward others--generous in a big way! They give from the depths of their soul. This sign can be very protective of loved ones. Feelings run deep. The key phrase for Cancer in traditional astrology is "I feel." Privacy is paramount to many Cancers. Cancers like to think that their secrets are safely hidden from the world. Home is a haven that Cancers must put their mark on--just like a cat in a new home. Cats instinctively mark their territory because it gives them a sense of home. Cancers can form a very sacred bond with their home, community, or with people--it is a primordial instinct for this sign that probably goes back to the beginning of time!

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, Cancers are sensitive souls. The emotional needs of this sign are subject to change at any moment. The moods of Cancer are complex. Their love of established comfort zones can be quickly overturned by the desire to initiate new experiences. This sign is sometimes more comfortable leading, but, at other times, would rather follow someone else's lead. The hardest part is knowing which characteristics Cancer is playing out at any given time. Family is an essential need of the Crab. This can include children, but it can extend to plants and pets, as well. If Cancer enjoys your company, the desire to draw close is evident. If you crowd Cancer's space, however, expect the Crab to withdraw into the warm protection of the sand. Cancers are attracted to people who share their vision of establishing roots and who support their security needs. The trials of this sign involve turning fears into strengths and developing the capacity to integrate the past into an empowering present.

The Cancer Woman She can be an intense lover, but you must take the time to really get to know her. If a relationship starts too fast, expect it to slow down as she carefully processes what is happening. If a relationship with a female Cancer begins slowly, it may suddenly lift off. The pace of a relationship or getting to know someone must be comfortable for her. Let the Crab dictate the pace. This is an area where she sometimes likes to lead. Have patience. This is my best advice to you if you want to stay close to this sensitive woman's heart.

Her home is her temple. If she asks you to take off your shoes, or to wipe off the soles of your shoes before entering, please do so! The home is a sanctuary. From what, you ask? The world! Indulge her in this regard. If you think she doesn't have serious rules about her home, my advice would be to tread lightly when you're there anyway. There are likely to be a few hidden rules that you'll discover as you go along.

The female Cancer has strong opinions about her own family. She wants you to like the relatives that she likes, but don't act too fond of the family members she doesn't like. You must accept her friends, even if you do not spend time with them. Relax. She will do the same for you most of the time. This is a nurturing person, but don't abuse her giving nature. Keep both of your dependency needs balanced and this can be a passionate and loving bond.

Remember this little tip. It isn't easy to leave a relationship with a Cancer partner. Why? It is too easy to become spoiled by a Cancer partner's attentiveness. The memory of caring lingers long after he or she leaves. So, be sure you want this relationship before getting too involved. A female Cancer's show of feelings can be heartwarming when she really pulls close. If you show your own vulnerability, this demonstrates your trust, and the depth of the relationship is enhanced. She will open her heart to you if you will communicate from your own heart. Show her your interest in establishing a family or home. She will then be willing to risk her sense of security to take a chance on you.

The Cancer Man He is very selective about what he keeps in his memory. The male Cancer has a habit of trying to forget anything unpleasant. He can be supportive when you need a friend the most. There will be times when he seems a little too invisible. If you trust him it won't matter as much. If you don't, his vanishing acts of introversion will bother you a great deal. His moods are omnipresent in his life. He never leaves home without them. His need to emote is strong. It would be nice if you were permitted to do the same. Some male Cancers fear emotional intensity in a potential mate. It can take quite a while for him to warm up to your desire to draw close. If he needs you, intimacy will grow more quickly. If you need him more than he needs you, expect it to take more time to really get to know one another. The home is just as important to the male Cancer as it is to the female Cancer. The Crab is protective of his home turf. You will possibly see possessions given to him by previous lovers or by family members. He is attached to objects that hold positive memories. Don't ask him to give up anything from the past until you are really close.

The male Cancer can really be there for you during a crisis, but he may leave you for periods of time once he senses that you are more emotionally stable. His caring nature is not always revealed early in a relationship. He will hide it until he perceives that you can be trusted. His passion for you can be shown through his actions. He can please you physically, mentally, and emotionally like no other lover.

Your main concern may be to get a real fix on this person. His changing moods and feelings can keep you guessing about him. Clear communication is a great remedy for any confusion--if he is willing to talk. If you persevere in getting down to the real person, the rewards can be great. You can receive the very best the Crab has to offer.

Leo (July 24-August 23) The Lion
Element: Fire Ruling Planet: The Sun The Lion roars in the jungle to announce that the monarch is present. Other animals, respectfully or fearfully, move out of the way. Leo, the lionhearted, commands attention when entering a room, like a star taking center stage. Is it any wonder this sign is sometimes called the actor? The world is a stage for this sign. Even a shy Leo seems to believe in a divine right to be noticed. (Yes, there are shy Leos--I have met a few!) In traditional astrology, the key phrase for Leo is "I will." Their willpower is a force to be reckoned with. Leos commandeer life--in a big way!

A shadow of fiery Leo is extreme bossiness. Another is an insatiable need for attention. When the Lion overcomes these tendencies, people appreciate this dynamic sign. Leos are ferociously self-expressive. Their creativity is intense. This is a passionate sign that does not always know where it is going, but arrives at a destination and makes the most of it through sheer determination. Even though Leo can be stubborn, sometimes the Lion can be surprisingly flexible. It's their passionate love of living life to the fullest that makes them fun to be around. This sign is the greatest of promoters. Leos can put a spin on anything to make it appealing to others. Marketing their own talent or helping others become more marketable is a trademark of the Lion.

Dramatics . . . humor . . . holding court . . . each have their place in Leo's repertoire. Appreciate these facets of Leo and the Lion will love you. The best way to argue with them is to create the illusion that they are winning. Then restate what you need. You will be surprised by their generosity. Leo is a kindly ruler.

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, the Lion is a royal personage. Leos like to be perceived as passionate. Don't step carelessly on the Lion's ego. If you do, expect a loud roar. The Lion's ego bruises easily. This can be a very me-centered sign. It is ruled by the Sun, enjoying a central position in the make-up of our solar system. The Sun's rays bathe us in its glory. Leos like to think they do the same. Get the picture? When Leos feel a sense of accomplishment in their chosen career or achieve an acceptable level of status, they are much easier to live with as lovers or partners. The Lion does not like to reveal any vulnerability. Leos would rather nurse their wounds in seclusion. A sure sign of trust is when they confess to their weaknesses. Such admissions strengthen Leos, even though it might make them feel defenseless. Once Leos start to complain about their wounds, expect this lament to become a never-ending refrain.

The Lion is attracted to self-confident people who enjoy having a good time. Leo's attributes are dynamic willpower and an all-abiding, limitless creative spirit!

The Leo Woman She walks proudly. People often want to emulate her. She inspires them with her noble ways. A Leo woman can appear arrogant (they are seldom viewed as being humble!). Knowing which life direction to pursue can take hold at an early age. She makes few excuses for her failures. Her successes are worn boldly like medals of honor, for all the world to see. Her strength is confidence. She thrives on self-expression. Show your pride in her and you should find her to be a passionate lover.

If you know she is wrong, tell her directly. She doesn't always understand or listen to subtle comments. Yet, her sensitivity might surprise you. When she cries, the whole world can hear her (or so she hopes). Positive strokes make her pay attention to you. She can be forgiving, if she truly believes you deserve this from her. She will even ask for your forgiveness if she has hurt you, that is, if she knows you will be receptive to her humbling herself in such a way. It's not easy for the queen of the beasts to make concessions, or confessions, for that matter!

The Leo woman will give you gifts. Be sure to reciprocate, or at least show her your profound gratitude. She likes people with a sense of humor. It helps if you have the money to give her the lavish life she wants to live. She is quite independent. Her career is important to her. She is capable of acting out many different roles. The Leo woman needs to know she can live alone if circumstances demand this. Treat her to her favorite vacation spot. Take the time to laugh together. Take frequent breaks from work and really be with each other. She will stay by the home fires with you if you give her the love, attention, and respect that are her due. Long live the queen!

The Leo Man Center stage was made for him--or so he thinks! It's as though the other eleven signs orbit around the Leo man. It seems that's how they see the world. Born actors! They are entertaining. People love their warm-spirited laugh. A sense of humor is a hallmark of their character. When the Leo man acts like a dictator, people can be offended quickly. Leo's demeanor can shift rather unexpectedly. He really wants life to be on his own terms. That can make it difficult on lovers. Compromise does not always come easily. Usually the Lion will roar angrily before compromising, if he'll back down at all.

The Leo man can be wonderfully giving. He takes pride in his wealth and work. Compliment his generosity, and his mane will puff up and he will smile at you gratefully. The Leo man craves your loving affection, even more than making love (he will never admit this). He is not always the easiest person to get to know. He talks about life in general terms rather than about himself. Eventually, he might hint at having feelings. He loves to be figured out by someone he truly cares about (he will never admit this, either).

You can be as dramatic as you like--he'll be your adoring audience. Leo invented drama! It must be a primordial instinct with this sign. Be confident. If you are more successful in a career than him, don't brag about it. This rubs him the wrong way. He will be silently grateful to you for not trying to upstage him. Remember, he is the star. Everyone else gets second billing.

The male Leo will do anything for someone he loves. This is why a mate will remain with a Leo for many years. He will champion your causes. So be his cheerleader. He will tell you why you are the greatest. His creative energy can push you to new creative heights of your own. Long live the king!

Virgo (August 24-September 23) The Virgin
Element: Earth Ruling Planet: Mercury "Perfection" is Virgo's motto. Is Virgo always a perfectionist? No! Not in every area of life-only in those life arenas that command Virgo's compulsive attention. The attractions can be different from one Virgo to another. This is a sign with the in-depth perception tendencies of analytical Mercury guiding its every move. This is the same planet, Mercury, that rules Gemini--or is it? The winged messenger has more of an eye for detail in its rulership of Virgo, the critic of the zodiac. Gemini will let things slide by, while Virgo can't keep those picky hands off them. The key phrase for this sign in traditional astrology is "I analyze."

Trying to attain perfection can produce a masterpiece. It is said that Michelangelo created his Pieta by cutting out from the stone what his discerning artistic eyes determined did not belong there. What was left was a breathtaking masterpiece. So what's wrong with perfection? Pitching a "perfect game" in baseball gives you hall of fame status. Perfection can bring one a greater salary in the work place. It's when perfection becomes a constant end in itself that Virgo suffers and so do those of us trying to live with this meticulous sign.

A shadow of earthy Virgo is negative thinking. Another is extreme criticism of self or others. When Virgos can overcome these tendencies, life is more forgiving of their actions and the rest of us find it easier to accept them. The Virgin can have impeccable standards for excellence. Keeping expectations reasonable is wise. One thing you should always remember about Virgos is that they're never "wrong"--except by mistake!

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, Virgo is a puzzling entity. Their dedication to those they love is authentic and admirable. With one hand the Virgin will stroke you with compliments and with the other can sometimes mercilessly point out your faults. It may help to realize that Virgo's criticism is often more from a primordial instinct, developed since the earliest days of our Virgo ancestors, rather than from your leaving a spot on a washed pot or dish. You can protest all you want against Virgo's relentless analysis of the details of your actions. Good luck! It will not change this sign's behavior. Virgos can learn to be more sensitive in expressing your faults. Humility is usually what keeps Virgos balanced in relationships. Also, a service orientation toward others makes Virgos lovable. This sign is usually not given credit for being the great lovers they can be. Virgos will go out of their way to find out what pleases you in bed or in other areas of life. Virgos are attracted to people who can establish everyday routines similar to their own. They appreciate hardworking individuals. The attributes of Virgo are an uncompromising attitude toward excellence in work and an amazing ability to be organized.

The Virgo Woman She can be as compulsively meticulous about herself as she is organized with everything else. Don't fault her for this. She is efficiency in motion. She is the perfect business women. She can manage a business or department as well, if not better, than any other sign. You have to admire her intense desire to be efficient. A Virgo woman can work the rest of us into the ground. She's a tireless soul who may drop from exhaustion due to overwork.

There are no perfect people. She knows this. Forgive her for forgetting. Remind her that you are not perfect. If she tells you one of your habits bothers her, see if you can change your ways. It makes her love you. Don't try to change her, and she probably will not try to redesign you.

If you can work on a project together, it does wonders for the bonding process. She likes a hardworking partner. Don't be a workaholic because she may already be prone to this, and the tendency could do her in. The Virgo woman may appear to be a no-nonsense individual. However, her sense of humor can surprise you. It may be therapeutic to laugh at herself, and others, once in a while.

Her humility can be erroneously perceived as a lack of self-confidence. Don't take advantage of her giving nature, because it will make her resentful. She loves cleanliness and order. You will need to accept this side of her. She can be overly critical of you about any area of life. It is her attention to detail and a powerfully discerning eye that makes her this way. You can, and should, tell her when she is tearing you down too much. By the way, she is very sensitive to criticism herself. Tell her how it makes you feel and she is apt to stop.

She is a great problem-solver. She is a shoulder to lean on when you feel down and out. So, offer the same to her. The Virgo woman usually has an innate understanding about and respect for commitment. She is nobody's fool. She will be the greatest of lovers if you treat her with respect and honor her intelligence.

The Virgo Man He knows just how he looks without a mirror, but he is going to look for a mirror anyway. He can be a neat freak. Then again, a Virgo man might be very messy--yes, I said messy! It is his private rebellion against order. He will probably still be very well organized at work. Disorder can make him nervous. It is instinctual for him to put things in order. Nothing might be wrong in your eyes, but not so for this guy. The need to compulsively create order seems to be an innate characteristic, almost like a computer chip implanted in his brain.

He can be very attentive to your needs. He is a wonderfully supportive person. Even in the midst of his criticism, you can sense he cares about you. Commitments can make a male Virgo uneasy. He doesn't take them lightly. He needs to be really sure about a relationship before he gets serious. Don't fault him for second-guessing your love for him. He just wants to keep running it through his mental processors, like you might put a load of clothes through a second rinsing to make sure you get all of the soap out. Perhaps you turned in a paper in school for a class or for a work assignment and kept reading it over and over to check for careless errors. The male Virgo does this incessantly with all areas of life. He can't help himself.

The Virgo man can put himself down too much. He will love you for encouraging him to think more positively. Make him chicken soup when he is sick, and he will love you forever. Be sure to tell him you don't plan on being his mother!

He doesn't give up on people or situations easily. His patience can greatly make up for his tendency to criticize. Tell him you will never be perfect, so he will know this from the start. By the way, it doesn't hurt to tell him he will never be perfect, either. His work is very much a part of him. He is apt to be devoted to it. He can still love you passionately even after he finishes running his perceptions of you repeatedly through his mental circuitry. The Virgo man can be courageous in dealing wholeheartedly with an issue in a relationship. This is a strong point that attracts lovers.

Libra (September 24-October 23) The Scales
Element: Air Ruling Planet: Venus This is the most graceful of the twelve signs. Librans have a refined social poise that is especially endearing. It is a sign that is as much at ease in dealing with public relations as a cat peacefully sun bathing. Librans can possess a delicate nervous system (as can the other two air signs, Gemini and Aquarius). Stress seems to do one of two things to Librans. It gets them to either take control of a situation through action, or to become too afraid to make a decision. In traditional astrology the key phrase for Libra is "I balance." It is the balancing of the mental-emotional scales that is a driving force in the life of Librans.

Librans seek peaceful solutions to problems. Knowing how to compromise is a birthright of this sign, but make no mistake about it, Librans can argue for a cause or opinion. They maker great lawyers and arbitrators.

A shadow of Libra is indecision. Another can be an extreme desire to please others. When Librans can overcome these tendencies, life is more flowing and full of greater spontaneity. Indecision is actually due to the talent of being able to perceive more than one side of an issue. Librans make great mediators. They can settle disputes between people with their way of making each party feel equally right. Neither is constrained by the confines of the other's discounting perceptions. Aesthetic talent can be strong in this sign. A passionate appreciation for art and music is in the soul of Libra. The muse consciousness of Venus is as equally prevalent in Libra as it is in the other sign it rules, Taurus. In Venus-ruled signs, personal style is highlighted. If clothes could speak, they would sing the praises of these people.

Relationship Tendencies In relationships, Librans maintain a socially active lifestyle. They will expect you to accept their peers and friends, whether you like them or not. Librans are attracted to people who will be soul mates, partners in the truest sense of the word. Sometimes Librans expect lovers to be a mirror that will reflect and clarify their own identity. Librans are attracted to individuals who contribute to their own need to stay mentally objective about life. Passion and sensuality are important to Librans. Hidden behind this is a need to avoid getting too lost in the identity of a lover. When Librans feel another person is not taking away from their own identity, a relationship has a greater chance of success. The attributes of Libra are a sincere desire to create an atmosphere of harmony and an innate capacity to appreciate beauty in all its forms.

The Libra Woman She can be exotic without really trying (though you will never convince her of that!). Venus blesses each of the signs she rules with natural beauty (Taurus is also ruled by Venus). The Libra woman has a delicate nervous system. Don't force her to make decisions too quickly. She will become angry or stubborn if you are too pushy.

She is an expert social planner. She must be allowed to be on the go. Don't be jealous because she has male friends. Men love her. She will love you for trusting her to be herself. The Libra woman wants you to like her friends, or at least accept them. She can make your own peers feel welcome. There is nobody as adept at entertaining your business associates--she will go out of her way to make each of them feel special.

Create a romantic atmosphere for her. She loves this. Give her flowers or gifts. Why? Because they make you her hero. She needs a hero. Let her be a heroine, if she wants to be. She is sometimes hard to figure out. Contrary to popular belief, she is not always sociable. Quiet time recharges her vitality. She can tire like a kitten or puppy that has been running wildly and suddenly stops to take a nap. She can arise just as fast to put her social agenda back into motion.

The Libra woman needs to hear that you appreciate her on a regular basis. Do this! It will keep you close. Don't become a hermit. If you do, you had better let her go and come as she pleases. The gods have granted the Libra woman extroverted instincts. She must share herself with the world. She is not as showy as Leo in getting attention. She doesn't need to take center stage, yet she is never far from the center of social awareness. People often look to her to make them feel better. When she is not in your presence, know that she is probably busy handling her social obligations, whether it is having lunch with a friend or helping to plan a party.

The Libra woman knows what's going on in her sphere of influence. She is often active in organizations. Groups like her effervescent energy. It is graceful and energetic all at once. You will always share her with the world at large. Get used to it!

The Libra Man He usually knows what he wants from life, even if it takes a while to clarify decisions. Male and female Librans have it tough when it comes to making up their minds. Choices don't come easy. It's that knack for seeing more than one angle to a situation that makes choices challenging. There are times when this sign is powerfully decisive. Read this previous sentence again and remember it! When he really decides on someone as a partner, he means it wholeheartedly. Work is another arena where the Libra man can be quite decisive. He really does not care for indecision in his work. It makes him feel uneasy. He often counts on his partner or close friends to give him feedback about his life strategies. The Libra man often possesses a polished voice. Companies would love him to advertise their products on television or radio commercials. He is convincing and very likable. Why not believe him? His vocal chords are an important part of his marketing ability. He knows just the right resonance for any social situation. Lovers find him charming. He is easy to talk to. Women can let their hair down in his presence. He has a grasp of all of life's polar opposites, so why shouldn't he understand women? The Libra man is easier to get to know if you go to his favorite places to socialize. Communication is like a ritual, and it needs atmosphere. A special meeting place can enhance your time together.

He will let you know if he disagrees with your opinions. He can argue ferociously if you tamper with his pet areas of expertise. He will just as quickly make peace, if you simply acknowledge his perceptions and beliefs. In his heart he likes to please those he loves. It bothers his conscience to hold a grudge too long. The Libra man will be there for you when you need his support. You must first let him satisfy all of his social passions. His attention can make you feel special. He will not make a commitment to you until he is good and ready to do so. Maybe it's because he doesn't want to make an embarrassing mistake, or it could be because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings, if he decides this is not the right relationship. Then again, it may be he fears rejection, or it might be because he can't make up his mind! If you decide you want to be with this person and he decides you are for him, then be ready to have an exhilarating ride together. Delight in introducing one another to your own special worlds.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Introduction: The Field of Play xiii
Part I: The Twelve Players1
Aries... 4
Taurus... 7
Gemini... 10
Cancer... 13
Leo... 16
Virgo... 19
Libra... 22
Scorpio... 26
Sagittarius... 30
Capricorn... 34
Aquarius... 38
Pisces... 42

Part II: Let the Games Begin... 47
Aries-Aries: The Dare-Devils... 52
Aries-Taurus: The Doers... 57
Aries-Gemini: The Movers and Shakers... 62
Aries-Cancer: The Initiators... 67
Aries-Leo: The Enthusiasts... 72
Aries-Virgo: The Energizers... 77
Aries-Libra: The Extroverts... 82
Aries-Scorpio: The Tenacious Ones... 87
Aries-Sagittarius: The Adventurers... 93
Aries-Capricorn: The Leaders... 98
Aries-Aquarius: The Eager Ones... 104
Aries-Pisces: The Imaginative Ones... 109
Taurus-Taurus: The Economizers... 114
Taurus-Gemini: The Enterprising Ones... 118
Taurus-Cancer: The Cautious Ones... 123
Taurus-Leo: The Make It Happen People... 128
Taurus-Virgo: The Planners... 133
Taurus-Libra: The Romantics... 137
Taurus-Scorpio: The Passionate Ones... 141
Taurus-Sagittarius: The Jolly Ones... 146
Taurus-Capricorn: The Builders... 151
Taurus-Aquarius: The Surprisers... 156
Taurus-Pisces: The Nature Lovers... 161
Gemini-Gemini: The Thinkers... 167
Gemini-Cancer: The Inquisitive Ones... 172
Gemini-Leo: The Entertainers... 178
Gemini-Virgo: The Scrutinizers... 183
Gemini-Libra: The Live Wires... 188
Gemini-Scorpio: The Detectives... 193
Gemini-Sagittarius: The Travelers... 198
Gemini-Capricorn: The Problem-Solvers... 204
Gemini-Aquarius: The Brainy Ones... 210
Gemini-Pisces: The Wishers and Hopers... 216
Cancer-Cancer: The Homebodies... 221
Cancer-Leo: The Industrious Ones... 227
Cancer-Virgo: The Thrifty Ones... 233
Cancer-Libra: The Plotters... 238
Cancer-Scorpio: The Secretive Ones... 243
Cancer-Sagittarius: The Restless Spirits... 248
Cancer-Capricorn: The Protective Ones... 253
Cancer-Aquarius: The Hot Wired Ones... 259
Cancer-Pisces: The Intuitive Ones... 265
Leo-Leo: The Directors... 271
Leo-Virgo: The Broadcasters... 276
Leo-Libra: The Socialites... 282
Leo-Scorpio: The Negotiators... 288
Leo-Sagittarius: The Confident Ones... 295
Leo-Capricorn: The Executives... 301
Leo-Aquarius: The Spark Plugs... 307
Leo-Pisces: The Actors... 313
Virgo-Virgo: The Organizers... 319
Virgo-Libra: The Allies... 324
Virgo-Scorpio: The Thorough Ones... 330
Virgo-Sagittarius: The Seekers... 336
Virgo-Capricorn: The Pragmatists... 342
Virgo-Aquarius: The Resourceful Ones... 347
Virgo-Pisces: The Perfectionists... 353
Libra-Libra: The Mixers... 359
Libra-Scorpio: The Calculators... 364
Libra-Sagittarius: The Gregarious Ones... 370
Libra-Capricorn: The Reliable Ones... 376
Libra-Aquarius: The Surprisers... 381
Libra-Pisces: The Romantics... 387
Scorpio-Scorpio: The Researchers... 393
Scorpio-Sagittarius: The Motivators... 398
Scorpio-Capricorn: The Power-Brokers... 404
Scorpio-Aquarius: The Determined Ones... 410
Scorpio-Pisces: The Mysterious Ones... 416
Sagittarius-Sagittarius: The Gypsies... 422
Sagittarius-Capricorn: The Ambassadors... 427
Sagittarius-Aquarius: The Freedom Seekers... 433
Sagittarius-Pisces: The Ideal Weavers... 439
Capricorn-Capricorn: The Strategists... 446
Capricorn-Aquarius: The Anticipators... 451
Capricorn-Pisces: The Conscientious Ones... 457
Aquarius-Aquarius: The Rebels... 463
Aquarius-Pisces: The Dazzlers... 468
Pisces-Pisces: The Dreamers... 474

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