BN.com Gift Guide

Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage

( 9 )

Overview

The truth behind the lies.

It was an unforgettable scene. Dina Matos McGreevey, an attractive woman in her mid-thirties, wife, mother, and First Lady of the state of New Jersey, watched silently as her husband, then New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, resigned his office with the revelation that he was a "gay American." The picture of grace and loyalty, perfectly composed in her pale blue suit, Dina Matos McGreevey gave no sign of the tangled mixture of fear, sorrow, and anger ...

See more details below
Hardcover (REV)
$20.65
BN.com price
(Save 13%)$23.95 List Price
Other sellers (Hardcover)
  • All (101) from $1.99   
  • New (19) from $1.99   
  • Used (82) from $1.99   

Overview

The truth behind the lies.

It was an unforgettable scene. Dina Matos McGreevey, an attractive woman in her mid-thirties, wife, mother, and First Lady of the state of New Jersey, watched silently as her husband, then New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, resigned his office with the revelation that he was a "gay American." The picture of grace and loyalty, perfectly composed in her pale blue suit, Dina Matos McGreevey gave no sign of the tangled mixture of fear, sorrow, and anger she felt that day, no hint of the devastation that was to come. Since then she has been asked repeatedly about the nature of her marriage, about what she knew and when she knew it. Since then, she has remained silent. Until now.

Speaking up at last, Dina Matos McGreevey here recounts the details of her marriage to Jim McGreevey. What emerges is a tale of love and betrayal, of heartbreak and scandal . . . and, ultimately, hope.

It all began with so much promise. Dina Matos was a responsible and civic-minded young woman who fell in love with the passion of political action. When Jim McGreevey walked into her life, he appeared to be a kind and loving man, someone with whom she could build a life based on shared ideals, a strong spiritual commitment, and a desire to make a difference in the world. Beyond their initial chemistry, Dina Matos was attracted by Jim McGreevey's principles and his unwavering devotion to his work. She didn't know that his life, and thus their marriage, were built on a foundation of lies; that his past was littered with casual sexual encounters in seedy bookstores and public parks; or that, by his own admission, he began an adulterous affair with another man while she was in the hospital awaiting the birth of their child. "Could I have known," she asks. "How could I have known?"

With scalding honesty, she tells of her life with the former governor, of the politics and public service that brought them together, and the lies that tore them apart.

Here is a story of a marriage that was anything but happily-ever-after, told by a strong and resilient woman who can, and finally will, speak for herself.

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781401303648
  • Publisher: Hyperion
  • Publication date: 5/1/2007
  • Edition description: REV
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 994,147
  • Product dimensions: 6.25 (w) x 9.50 (h) x 0.87 (d)

Meet the Author

Dina Matos McGreevey is executive director of the Columbus Foundation at Columbus Hospital in Newark, New Jersey. She lives in New Jersey with her five-year-old daughter, Jacqueline.

Read More Show Less

Read an Excerpt

Silent Partner


By Dina Matos McGreevey

Hyperion

Copyright © 2007 Dina Matos McGreevey
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4013-0364-8


Chapter One

First Encounter

When I think of all that happened during the eight years of my relationship with Jim McGreevey, the beginning-how I met him, how I fell in love with him-is the hardest story to tell, or at least to tell in the right way. When love goes out the door, courtship stories may go into the attic, never to be told again. It's no fun to recount the birth of a love that died a horrible death. My sadness and yes, my anger, cast long shadows and obscure much that was hopeful and happy. But if I don't tell this story carefully, Jim will look like someone you wouldn't trust to feed your cat over the weekend, much less someone who was the repository of so much trust, public and private. And if that's the man who emerges, what does that say about my judgment in marrying him?

Jim was devastated when his wife left him without any warning, and therefore he came to doubt his ability to read the emotions of someone he loved. Ironically, he put me in the same position, so that now, because I failed to read him, I've come to question my own ability to read anyone I might love. It was my own extreme sense of privacy that kept me from asking questions I would have considered intrusive if anyone had asked them of me. I know that now. And I know that it was my tendency towards privacy (not to mention mysteadfast loyalty), that allowed Jim to keep secrets from me and, ultimately led to a marriage in so many ways counterfeit. Ironically, the person I was most suspicious of was Jim's first wife, Kari. That was a tragic red herring. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Jim and I first met in October 1995 at the Armory, a Perth Amboy restaurant. The dinner was in honor of a Pretender. The irony isn't lost on me. Jim, as both a State Senator and the Mayor of Woodbridge, was a guest of honor, but the real Pretender, if that's not too much of an oxymoron, was the Duke of Braganca, heir to the Portuguese throne who was honored annually by a local Portuguese-American organization. This year the dinner was being held in Perth Amboy, a town near Woodbridge.

I noticed Jim when he came in. I didn't know who he was, but I thought he was handsome in a Tom Hanks kind of way, despite his old-fashioned barbershop haircut. He had a wide easy smile and exuded a kind of warmth that seemed to extend to each person in the small group he was talking to. It was early in the evening and things were just getting started when Manny Viegas, a friend who took an avuncular interest in me, came over.

"I want you to meet someone," he said. "Come with me."

Manny, like me, was an officer in the Portuguese-American Congress. He and his wife Grace lived in Woodbridge and had invited Jim to the event. Manny was a kind man who had been happily married for many years and had two children my age. He knew a lot of people in the community and wasn't shy about putting them together, so I was pretty sure that his "someone" was a guy he was trying to fix me up with.

"Meet someone? I don't think so, Manny," I said. "Not tonight." It was a festive evening and I was dressed for it, but I really wasn't in the mood to be fixed up.

"Oh c'mon." he said. "See that good looking guy with all the women around him?"

He gestured in Jim's direction.

"I see him," I said. "Who is he?"

"Jim McGreevey, the Mayor of Woodbridge." I knew Jim McGreevey by name and reputation. I had heard he was an ambitious politician on the fast track to somewhere interesting. I'd also heard he was charming and good looking. When I saw him that day I had to agree. I remembered that a guy I dated while at Rutgers-a poli sci major named Frank-had told me about Jim. Frank and I had gone our separate ways years earlier, but because we were both active in local Portuguese-American political circles, our paths often crossed. Frank was working for Sen. Frank Lautenberg at the time. Jim, in pursuit of the Democratic gubernatorial nomination, had consulted with various high level politicians including Lautenberg, and Frank had been very impressed with him. "You have to meet this guy," he said. "He's smart. He's going places."

Meanwhile, Manny, his hand at my back, was piloting me toward Jim.

"Jim," he said, "There's someone I want you to meet?"

He introduced us, and Jim gave me a friendly smile.

"Oh," I said, returning the smile. "I've heard about you through my friend, Frank, who works for Senator Lautenberg."

"Oh yeah, I know Frank," Jim said.

Then he eyed Manny, with a grin.

"And you know this guy, too," he said. "Well, I won't hold it against you."

We chatted a bit more, and then we each moved on to speak with others.

Jim had a seat on the dais that night, and I was seated nearby at Manny's table. After leaving my table for a quick trip to the lady's room, I came back to find that someone was sitting in my seat. "There's an empty seat next to Jim McGreevey," Manny said, missing nothing. "C'mon," he said to me, "Go sit with him."

Manny, it appeared, was intent on filling a number of roles, and the one that was foremost on his mind this evening was matchmaker.

"Manny....," I said, a note of mock exasperation in my voice. In truth, I was not interested in taking Manny up on his matchmaking services because I had been dating someone for nearly a year, and had recently called it quits. He was a nice guy, but he wasn't comfortable with how independent I was, nor how busy I was with my civic and political involvements, and I wasn't about to change. Still, despite my self-imposed "break" from dating, I was interested in sitting down, so I joined Jim on the dais where soon we were chatting easily in between the evening's interminable speeches.

I hated these dinners and went only because my friends were hosting and would have been upset if I didn't. Thankfully this event happened only once a year. The previous year's dinner had been unquestionably odd. The Duke, a fastidious-looking man with a prominent mustache, had greeted the guests not only in uniform, but wearing a rubber snake around his neck. It had always been hard to take him or his speeches seriously, but now it was impossible. And yet, here I was again, listening to him ramble on, first in Portuguese and then after that in English, feeling more than anything like a kid stuck in high school detention. In this mood, I was quite ready to strike up a conspiratorial conversation with a fellow detainee. That happened to be Jim. "I don't know what this guy is actually saying, but he sounds like he's certain he's going to save the world," Jim whispered.

"Actually, he's saying the salad was good," I replied. "He does this every year?" "Every. Single. Year. " "Any references to the snake?" I had already told Jim about the Duke's rubber snake.

"Not yet. Maybe by the time he works his way through the menu and is ready to praise the dessert?"

It was more than easy chatting. I felt a kinship with Jim right away. We were bantering as if we'd known each other a long time.

When the Duke's speech was over, we continued talking. "How many people are going to speak?" Jim asked me. "Too many," I warned him, rolling my eyes. I liked this man. I liked laughing with him and, truth be told, I liked flirting with him, too. But there was more to it than that. We connected. We talked about my job doing community outreach, patient relations and public relations at St. James Hospital, and about Jim's work on the Health Committee of the State Senate.

"If there's anything I can ever do for you, let me know," he said. If anyone were listening, and I'm not even sure I was, they might have heard the sound of a door opening.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Silent Partner by Dina Matos McGreevey Copyright © 2007 by Dina Matos McGreevey. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 9 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(5)

4 Star

(3)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(1)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 11, 2007

    Dina answers ALL of our questions.

    Lies, Adultery, Politics, Deception, Love, Sex, even a wedding blessing from the Pope. This book seems fictional. But I have hope for Dina. My parents shared a similar story. In spite of my unjustified fear: that my husband of 13 years suddenly turns 'gay' on me, I am happy. And I know that although my father was absent from my life, he loved me tremendously. More than he ever loved himself.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 8, 2013

    Did not read

    I feel sorry for the kids i would of never stood up there by him that was stupid

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 16, 2012

    Aduped spouse

    I read her book in a day ifelt bad for her but i totally dont believe she didnt have a clue although she suffered the only real suffers in this are his two girlsmorang and jacquilene because most girls are their fathers idols dina was able to move on but not his kids especiaaly jackie she was small at the time i miss themboth as puplic figures god is watching all of you

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 13, 2008

    A great read!

    This book is highly recommended for all people contemplating a committed relationship or a marriage.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 10, 2007

    A reviewer

    This book, Silent Partner,was an interesting read. And although I've never experienced anything like Dina McGreevey did, I certainly have empathy for her. She is a smart woman, she will do fine without Jim McGreevey in her life. The book was well worth the reading of it. Congrats to Dina for putting it out there.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 2, 2007

    A reviewer

    I picked up this book because I was curious as to what happenend to Dina. Beign from New Jersey I wanted to know what type of woman she is and I must say, I admire her determination to stay with her husband for better or worse. I think he owes her big for everything he put her and Jackie thru. Dina there is a God and he will conpensate you for all you have been thru. She was lucky to have such a great support system with family, friends and even her staff 'the officers' that took such good care of her. A must read.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 4, 2007

    Eye-Opening Account

    Love and Betrayal under the brutal microscope of being in public life, Dina McGreevey relates the unbelievable, yet inspiring story of an immigrant girl who grew up to become First Lady of the State of New Jersey. She was not a trophy wife, as some politicians' wives are/were, she was a partner who helped her husband achieve his lifelong ambitions. And, then, without any warning, Dina McGreevey's world was shattered. My respect and admiration for this woman increased a 1000% after reading her book. I highly recommend it.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted January 12, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted January 30, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 9 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)