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A funny, honest, and empathetic resource for the novice stepmother, which includes advice on The kids: Adjusting to suspicion, resentment, and biological-parent loyalties; The ex-wife: Living calmly alongside her, whether she's a psycho or the perfect mother; The holidays: Accommodating old family traditions and developing new ones; The sex: Keeping love alive through the kids' bed-wetting and nightmares. Plus an invaluable list of resources, websites, publications, and organizations specifically for the new stepmother.
Anonymous
Posted March 9, 2007
I'm the only one of my friends who is marrying a man who is divorced and has kids, so I have had absolutely no one to talk to who really understands. I've been completely miserable at times, and all I got from well-meaning girlfriends was, If it's that bad, don't marry him, otherwise, get over it. While that's true, I wanted understanding and that's what I got from this book. I've been struggling with the shame I feel for resenting the situation and for secretly wishing my fiance didn't have kids, and that his ex wife would not exist. This book acknowledged that it's ok to feel that way, and that I am not some evil monster for not wanting to share my man, time, and money with a bunch of people I don't actually want in my life. It explained with humor and practical advice how to deal and make the best of the situation. I've been trying so hard to act like this is all great, but inside I somehow felt like this is a punishment of some sort. This book acknowledges the obvious but taboo fact that most women are not thrilled at the idea of dealing with other people's children and do not want to deal with people their husband used to sleep with, and that's ok. This book made it ok for me to feel as I do. If you're in love with a wonderful man but are struggling to accept that your knight in shining armor comes with kids and a horrid ex-wife, read this book! And then, ask your husband to read it too, to see it from your perspective. For the first time since I've been dating my fiance, I felt normal and understood, and finally not unique or bad, I'm just a girl who wants what she wants. If you chose to marry a man with kids, the advice on how to handle the complexities of the situation given by Sally Bjornsen is invaluable!
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted August 31, 2005
I finished this book in a week. Not because it was short but because I could not stop reading it. I wish that I had read this sooner. Shortly after we were married I found myself extremely frustrated with the situation and all the complicated issues that come with 'a man, his kids and his EX-wife'. My husband and I have been married a year. He has one 8 yr old daughter from a previous relationship and we have a daughter together. This book covered everything that I have ever struggled with or had questions about with my relationship with my husband and step-daughter. I highly recommend this book to anyone in a similar situation. Or if you have a friend in this situation. This book speaks to you like a normal person, not like most books on this topic that speak to you like you are a psychiatric patient. And its not a work book like some of those others out there. It was funny, positive and let's you know that you are NOT alone. She ties everything she says into first hand experience or recounted experience from other step-mother friends too. Excellent book.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted October 1, 2007
I highly recommend this book to any single woman marrying a man with children. I have a wonderful husband who has a 12 year old daughter which does pose some challenges. This book validated all the things I have been feeling! It definately let me know I am not the only one thinking evil thoughts from time to time!! Thanks again Sally!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted December 15, 2011
During & after the wedding this was my savior. Highly recommend this book to a new stepmom.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Sue-S
Posted December 9, 2010
Everything in this book is happening to me right now and if I had not read it as soon as I got involved with my boyfriend, I would be a complete wreck! It is a must read for any woman who's dating/marrying a man with children (and an ex-wife).
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 15, 2010
I am new to a relationship with a man with two young children. This book put a whole new, positive perspective on my relationship. It is very well written, a page turner. I hope she writes another!
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Tinabobina63
Posted February 28, 2009
I had a step-mother. I am a step-mother. I am a step-mother to a step-daughter who is a step-mother. Such is the changing society of America, I guess! I had two step-mothers as a child. I learned from one what NOT to do. And how to do it with grace from the other. I know how it feels on the child's end, but my eyes were opened to the closed-door emotions on the mother's end. This book brought affirmation to how I felt, and the selfish thoughts I had about having my husband to myself. I found that the thoughts and tendencies were common and expected. What a relief! Ironically, the book was loaned to me by my step-daughter, who just became a step-mother herself, and found the book to be helpful with what she was going through. It has further tightened the bond between us. I can't wait for my husband to read it, so he can understand better too. I highly recommend this book to anyone and everyone involved in a step-mother situation. The writing style of this author kept it funny and interesting, and made it okay to admit that you had those feelings too. Thank you Sally Bjornsen! This is one book to hold and keep for reference. Buy more for your friends!
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Posted June 10, 2008
I could not believe how on target this book was. It was exactly what I was looking for. I wrote notes in the margins and have marked some pages for others to read. It has been very helpful. Highly recommended!!!
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Posted June 4, 2010
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Posted December 17, 2009
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Posted August 22, 2010
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Posted April 5, 2011
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Posted January 27, 2010
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Posted December 14, 2009
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Overview
A funny, honest, and empathetic resource for the novice stepmother, which includes advice on The kids: Adjusting to suspicion, resentment, and biological-parent loyalties; The ex-wife: Living calmly alongside her, whether she's a psycho or the perfect mother; The holidays: Accommodating old family traditions and developing new ones; The sex: Keeping love alive through the kids' bed-wetting and nightmares. Plus an invaluable list of resources, websites, publications, and organizations specifically for the new ...