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From Section One: Original SingleEveryone is single. Think about it. We come into the world as one tiny, little individual. Oh yes, we have a mother and a father, and we may have brothers and sisters and whole bunch of relatives, but basically each one of us, regardless of our relationship to others, is one human being. We have many types of relationships, which often give us the illusion of not being single at all. Yet if we examine our situation more closely, we see that regardless of our relationships to others, regardless of our marital status, we are still just one little person. Throughout our lives we have playmate and friends, acquaintances, casual contacts, and colleagues. We have lovers and spouses, and various combinations thereof, but still we remain uniquely one human being. No one else ever abides in our skin.
For the newly single or recently uncoupled, the adjustment back to singleness is particularly hard. It is the grief that comes with letting go of what's dear, familiar, and loved and heading into the unknown that makes this transition painful. But don't let the grief that comes with going from coupled to single give you the impression that single life is all pain - it's not. When one person is missing, it sometimes seems as if all love is gone. It's missing that one particular person and the coupled touch that's painful, not singleness. Unfortunately, the newly uncoupled, divorced, or widowed often get stuck in shock, fear, and anger. And that's where they remain. Without a road map or mentor, they're unable to make the transition to a wonderful life. When you've been coupled and are single again, it's as if you've been plopped into the middle of a foreign culture. The rules have changed, and everything is unknown. You might not know the language or the customs, but you can learn. And once you conquer the beautiful secrets, you're in for a blessed surprise. A single life is, if you embrace it, filled with incredible magic and meaning.