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The Sister Knot: Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What
     

The Sister Knot: Why We Fight, Why We're Jealous, and Why We'll Love Each Other No Matter What

by Terri Apter, T. E. Apter
 

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From confusion on the playground to jealousy in the boardroom, women's relationships with one another are often defined by a rocky mix of emotions. In particular, a woman's experience negotiating her layered feelings toward a sister is central to shaping her psychology. In The Sister Knot esteemed research psychologist Terri Apter uncovers new insights and shows that

Overview

From confusion on the playground to jealousy in the boardroom, women's relationships with one another are often defined by a rocky mix of emotions. In particular, a woman's experience negotiating her layered feelings toward a sister is central to shaping her psychology. In The Sister Knot esteemed research psychologist Terri Apter uncovers new insights and shows that understanding sisterhood relationships can lead to a greater awareness of ourselves and our other relationships.

About the Author:
Terri Apter, PhD, is the author of numerous widely acclaimed books, including You Don't Really Know Me, The Confident Child, and Altered Loves. She is senior tutor at Newnham College, University of Cambridge, and a frequent contributor to the Times Literary Supplement

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Sisterly love, Apter (The Myth of Maturity) shows, isn't always pure: to differentiate herself from her older sister Sam, teenager Gina manipulated Sam into gaining weight; Kate's three sisters put aside jealousies and power plays to rally around her after she was raped; and Dorri wrongly accused her lesbian sister, Annette, of having an affair with her husband because a teenage Annette used to steal Dorri's boyfriends. This generic study of the complex ties that bind sisters teaches us that a sister's death is one of the most difficult losses to overcome; women's friendships often mirror the sister bond in both pleasure and pain; elderly sisters provide each other with crucial psychological succor; adult women are passionately invested in their own versions of family stories; and female empathy, when viewed through the sister knot, is revealed as a complicated skill "used for control and denigration as often as for care and protection." Throughout, British psychologist Apter's stodgy prose is brightened by excerpts from interviews she conducted with 76 British and American sisters from 37 families; while her analyses are perceptive, she's also treading on familiar territory without the creativity displayed by a Deborah Tannen or Bruno Bettelheim. (Jan. 15) Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
KLIATT
AGERANGE: Ages 12 to adult.

Girls will want to read this book whether they love their sisters, hate their sisters, wish they had a sister, or wish their sister would disappear. The author, a British research psychologist and mother of two daughters, talks about the complicated relationship of sisters and compares it with the relationship of girls with brothers and with oldest, middle and youngest sisters. Since good female friends often refer to their friendships as being like sisters, even readers who don’t have sisters will find something to relate to in this interesting analysis, especially in understanding why a woman’s success can often threaten other women, even those who love and support her until she succeeds. She also explains all children’s “sibling trauma” when a new baby comes into the home and how it is more difficult for a sister to adjust to another sister. Apter’s British writing style is sometimes a bit stuffy, but the many interviews of sisters in England and America reveal real stories that show the depth of emotion involved in the sister knot, as in the example of two sisters, one of whom had Down syndrome. While the “normal” girl was resentful of the other daughter, she would defend her sister from all others. The author says that is because sisters so closely identify with each other they feel the pain of the other sister, unless they are inflicting it. The book is followed by a chapter of frequently asked questions and extensive notes. Reviewer: Nola Theiss
March 2008 (Vol. 42, No.2)

Library Journal
A Cambridge University tutor and prolific expert on parenting and women's relationships, Apter (The Myth of Maturity: What Teenagers Need from Parents To Become Adults) here makes a substantial contribution to the literature on sibling relationships and female friendships. Joining Juliet Mitchell's Siblings, Stephen P. Bank and Michael D. Kahn's The Sibling Bond, and Judy Dunn and Robert Plomin's Separate Lives: Why Siblings Are So Different, this insightful book sheds light on the dynamics of sisterhood by incorporating research from various perspectives, including feminist psychoanalysis, developmental psychology, and popular sociology. Apter skillfully uncovers the complicated feelings inherent in sisterhood. Empathy and identity, protection and resentment, competition and friendship constitute the core of sisterly connections. Most of all, Apter captures the unique lifelong bond shared by sisters. Highly recommended for all public and academic collections. [See Prepub Alert, LJ 9/1/06.] Lynne F. Maxwell, Villanova Univ. Sch. of Law Lib., PA Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780393060584
Publisher:
Norton, W. W. & Company, Inc.
Publication date:
01/16/2007
Edition description:
ANN
Pages:
304
Product dimensions:
5.80(w) x 8.60(h) x 1.00(d)

Related Subjects

Meet the Author

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge University. Her books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

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