Size 12 Is Not Fat (Heather Wells Series #1)

Size 12 Is Not Fat (Heather Wells Series #1)

3.9 240
by Meg Cabot
     
 

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Heather Wells Rocks!

Or, at least, she did. That was before she left the pop-idol life behind after she gained a dress size or two -- and lost a boyfriend, a recording contract, and her life savings (when Mom took the money and ran off to Argentina). Now that the glamour and glory days of endless mall appearances are in the past, Heather's perfectly

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Overview

Heather Wells Rocks!

Or, at least, she did. That was before she left the pop-idol life behind after she gained a dress size or two -- and lost a boyfriend, a recording contract, and her life savings (when Mom took the money and ran off to Argentina). Now that the glamour and glory days of endless mall appearances are in the past, Heather's perfectly happy with her new size 12 shape (the average for the American woman!) and her new job as an assistant dorm director at one of New York's top colleges. That is, until the dead body of a female student from Heather's residence hall is discovered at the bottom of an elevator shaft.

The cops and the college president are ready to chalk the death off as an accident, the result of reckless youthful mischief. But Heather knows teenage girls . . . and girls do not elevator surf. Yet no one wants to listen -- not the police, her colleagues, or the P.I. who owns the brownstone where she lives -- even when more students start turning up dead in equally ordinary and subtly sinister ways. So Heather makes the decision to take on yet another new career: as spunky girl detective!

But her new job comes with few benefits, no cheering crowds, and lots of liabilities, some of them potentially fatal. And nothing ticks off a killer more than a portly ex-pop star who's sticking her nose where it doesn't belong . . .

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Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
Bag the tiara and get out the gun: Heather Wells, former teen idol, turns detective in the cute debut of a new mystery series from bestseller Cabot (The Princess Project and other titles in her Princess Diaries series). After the 20-something Heather's rocker boyfriend dumps her, and her mother and manager flee with her earnings, she becomes an assistant director of an undergraduate residence hall at Manhattan's New York College (read: NYU) in hopes of free tuition. When students start to die mysteriously while "elevator surfing" in the building, weight-conscious, romance-obsessed Heather goes on a crazed hunt to uncover the truth-with an unwavering sense of style. As Magda, Heather's dorm cashier friend, says: "Even if the rest of your life is going down the toilet... at least your toes can still look pretty." Cabot delivers Heather's amateur sleuthing adventures in a rapid-fire narrative that may leave some readers begging for time-outs to control sudden laughing fits. 6-city author tour. (Jan.) Copyright 2005 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
YA veteran Cabot (Teen Idol, 2004, etc.) bumps it up a notch with a mystery set in a residence for college freshmen. Heather Wells used to rock the pre-pubescent set, belting out hits like "Sugar Rush" in malls all over America. Now, just shy of 30, she's yesterday's news. Her mom stole her savings and bolted for Europe with her agent; Cartwright Records canceled her contract; her fiance, Jordan Cartwright, is getting it on with size-2 Tania Trace; and Heather has ballooned to the proportions of a normal American female. So she takes a job as assistant director of a residence hall at New York College, just off Washington Square, hoping to hang in past her probationary period and earn tuition benefits so she can get her degree. But hanging in is a challenge when two students are killed while elevator-surfing. Nerdy girls like Elizabeth Kellogg and Roberta Brace don't usually get their kicks jumping between the roofs of elevator cars. But Heather can't get NYPD Detective Canavan to look for foul play, and she doesn't even bother airing her theory to her boss, Rachel Walcott, or Rachel's assistant Sarah. That leaves private eye Cooper Cartwright, Jordan's gorgeous brother, who took in Heather when his father's record label booted her out-if only she can bring herself to level with the elusive man of her dreams. Appealling to the kid in anyone. Agent: Laura Langlie/Laura Langlie
Townsville Bulletin
Meg Cabot is one of the most colourful writers on the market right now. In her latest mystery novel Size 12 is not fat, Meg takes three very unlikely subjects: pop stars, dorm directors, and detectives, and blends them into one very intriguing book . Laugh-out-loud funny, it should be read while eating a chocolate bar.

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Product Details

ISBN-13:
9780061752186
Publisher:
HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date:
03/17/2009
Series:
Heather Wells Series , #1
Sold by:
HARPERCOLLINS
Format:
NOOK Book
Pages:
368
Sales rank:
28,810
File size:
1 MB

Read an Excerpt

Size 12 Is Not Fat

A Heather Wells Mystery
By Meg Cabot

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2005 Meg Cabot
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0060525118

Chapter One

Every time I see you
I get a Sugar Rush
You're like candy
You give me a Sugar Rush
Don't tell me stay on my diet
You have simply got to try it
Sugar Rush

"Sugar Rush"
Performed by Heather Wells
Written by Valdez/Caputo
From the album Sugar Rush
Cartwright Records

"Um, hello. Is anyone out there?" The girl in the dressing room next to mine has a voice like a chipmunk. "Hello?"

Exactly like a chipmunk.

I hear a sales clerk come over, his key chain clinking musically. "Yes, ma'am? Can I help you?"

"Yeah." The girl's disembodied -- but still chipmunklike -- voice floats over the partition between our cubicles. "Do you guys have these jeans in anything smaller than a size zero?"

I pause, one leg in and one leg out of the jeans I am squeezing myself into. Whoa. Is it just me, or was that really existential? Because what's smaller than a size zero? Negative something, right?

Okay, so it's been a while since sixth grade math. But I do remember there was this number line, with a zero in the middle, and --

"Because," Less Than Zero/Chipmunk Voice is explaining to the sales clerk, "normally I'm a size two. But these zeros are completely baggy on me. Which is weird. I know I didn't lose weight since the last time I came in here."

Less Than Zero has a point, I realize as I pull up the jeans I'm trying on. I can't remember the last time I could fit into a size 8. Well, okay, I can. But it's not a period from my past that I particularly relish.

What gives? Normally I wear 12s . . . but I tried on the 12s, and I was swimming in them. Same with the 10s. Which is weird, because I haven't exactly been on any kind of diet lately -- unless you count the Splenda I had in my latte at breakfast this morning.

But I'm sure the bagel with cream cheese and bacon I had with it pretty much canceled out the Splenda.

And it's not exactly like I've been to the gym recently. Not that I don't exercise, of course. I just don't do it, you know, in the gym. Because you can burn just as many calories walking as you can running. So why run? I figured out a long time ago that a walk to Murray's Cheese Shop on Bleecker to see what kind of sandwich they have on special for lunch takes ten minutes.

And a walk from Murray's over to Betsey Johnson on Wooster to see what's on sale (love her stretch velvet!): another ten minutes.

And a walk from Betsey's over to Dean & Deluca on Broadway for an after-lunch cappuccino and to see if they have those chocolate-covered orange peels I like so much: another ten minutes.

And so on, until before you know it, you've done a full sixty minutes of exercise. Who says it's hard to comply with the government's new fitness recommendations? If I can do it, anyone can.

But could all of that walking have caused me to drop two whole sizes since the last time I shopped for jeans? I know I've been cutting my daily fat intake by about half since I replaced the Hershey's Kisses in the candy jar on my desk with free condoms from the student health center. But still.

"Well, ma'am," the sales clerk is saying to Less Than Zero. "These jeans are stretch fit. That means that you've got to try two sizes lower than your true size."

"What?" Less Than Zero sounds confused.

I don't blame her. I feel the same way. It's like number lines all over again.

"What I mean is," the sales clerk says, patiently, "if you normally wear a size four, in stretch jeans, you would wear a size zero."

"Why don't you just put the real sizes on them, then?" Less Than Zero -- quite sensibly, I think -- asks. "Like if a zero is a really a four, why don't you just label it a four?"

"It's called vanity sizing," the sales clerk says, dropping his voice.

"What sizing?" Less Than Zero asks, dropping her voice, too. At least, as much as a chipmunk can drop her voice.

"You know." The sales clerk is whispering to Less Than Zero. But I can still hear him. "The larger customers like it when they can fit into an eight. But they're really a twelve, of course. See?"

Wait. What?

I fling open the door to my dressing room before I stop to think.

"I'm a size twelve," I hear myself saying to the sales clerk. Who looks startled. Understandably, I guess. But still. "What's wrong with being a size twelve?"

"Nothing!" cries the sales clerk, looking panicky. "Nothing at all. I just meant -- "

"Are you saying size twelve is fat?" I ask him.

"No," the sales clerk insists. "You misunderstood me. I meant -- "

"Because size twelve is the size of the average American woman," I point out to him. I know this because I just read it in People magazine. "Are you saying that instead of being average, we're all fat?"

"No," the sales clerk says. "No, that's not what I meant at all. I -- "

The door to the dressing room next to mine opens, and I see the owner of the chipmunk voice for the first time. She's the same age as the kids I work with. She doesn't just sound like a chipmunk, I realize. She kind of looks like one, too. You know. Cute. Perky. Small enough to fit in a normal-sized girl's pocket.

"And what's up with not even making her size?" I ask the sales clerk, jerking a thumb at Less Than Zero. "I mean, I'd rather be average than not even exist."

Less Than Zero looks kind of taken aback. But then she goes, "Um. Yeah!" to the sales clerk.

Continues...


Excerpted from Size 12 Is Not Fat by Meg Cabot Copyright © 2005 by Meg Cabot. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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