Slim Chance [NOOK Book]

Overview


Is her chance to have it all shrinking along with her waistline?

All Evelyn Mays wants is to be the perfect bride in a size 8 Vera Wang wedding dress. Call her superficial, but when your boyfriend has turned up at your office and dramatically proposed—your green-with-envy colleagues watching in astonishment—there's a certain image to live up to!

Evie senses that her supposedly fast-track career is spiraling away from her, but at least there's ...

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Slim Chance

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Overview


Is her chance to have it all shrinking along with her waistline?

All Evelyn Mays wants is to be the perfect bride in a size 8 Vera Wang wedding dress. Call her superficial, but when your boyfriend has turned up at your office and dramatically proposed—your green-with-envy colleagues watching in astonishment—there's a certain image to live up to!

Evie senses that her supposedly fast-track career is spiraling away from her, but at least there's something she can control: her Big Day. She just has to transform herself from a cuddly brunette into a svelte blonde….

But changing her appearance proves addictive; Evie develops a taste for experimenting: new friends…new men? Her best friend, convinced that Mr. Right is just an urban legend anyway, eggs her on to have one last fling. Only, is Evie discovering her true self, or playing a game of chance that will end in trouble?

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781459248595
  • Publisher: Red Dress Ink
  • Publication date: 8/15/2012
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Edition description: Original
  • File size: 943 KB

Read an Excerpt

Slim Chance


By Jackie Rose

Harlequin Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 2003 Harlequin Enterprises Ltd. All right reserved. ISBN: 0-373-25031-2

Chapter One

If you've ever puked at work, it has probably been for one of two reasons - either you're
desperately, uncontrollably ill with some type of stomach flu or food poisoning, in which case
you're just glad to have made it to the bathroom on time and don't really care if anyone hears
you throwing your guts up, or else you're sick in the sort of way you'd prefer to keep to yourself
(i.e., violently hung over; just discovered you're pregnant; fired, and so on). That afternoon, as I
stared down into the bowl in the unforgiving light of the ladies' room on the third-floor offices of
Kendra White Cosmetics, The Second-Largest Direct-Selling Makeup Company In America, I
realized that this situation definitely falls into the latter category, the sort of barfing where you
pray for privacy while processing the certain knowledge that your entire life as you know it is
about to change.

I can't believe I said yes.

Until that moment, thanks to a healthy aversion to mayonnaise and an inherited ability to hold my
liquor, I'd never suffered the indignity of being sick in public. Now, though, a gaggle of
thick-stockinged coworkers fretted outside the stall door, gossipful glee disguised as concern. They'd
seen me bolt for the bathroom. Now they waited forcompletion.

Please, just let me not puke.

But it was no use. My eyes filled with water, my knees hit the floor and the bowl became my
whole world. In my day-to-day life at Kendra White, I make a concerted effort not to put my
ass anywhere near these toilets. Now, my face was inside one.

An eternity passed, during which time I pretended I was in the Ally McBeal Unisex, so sterile,
so sleek, so much fun ... not at all like this abysmal pit, where ladies' unmentionables are strewn
all over the wet floor and the garbage can's always over-stuffed. Oh my God, is that a pubic
hair on the seat?

"Are you all right, Evelyn? Do you need someone to hold your hair back?" Pruscilla Cockburn,
my boss, wheezed from the other side.

"No, I'm fine," I gagged.

"Well then, get a hold of yourself, dear. It's only nerves! You're going to make a wonderful
wife. And what a fellow, that Bruce. He's waiting just outside the door, you know. Gosh! Have
you ever seen such a romantic proposal? Well I know I certainly haven't - not even on A
Wedding Story
, and I've got every one on tape. I mean, can you imagine? Asking her at
work? In front of everyone ...?"

At this point, it was obvious she'd forgotten all about me, and was simply sharing with the
others. What a hag. I had just suffered the worst sort of humiliation imaginable, my love life
savagely ripped from the privacy of my own heart and put on display in front of everyone I hate
most in the world, and all Pruscilla could think about was what a great story it would make at
the coffee cart tomorrow morning. My entire life had just been turned upside down, and all they
could think about was how it affected them. I turned away from the bowl and saw four pairs of
feet, each in worse shoes than the next. Pruscilla's were stuffed like sausages into worn-out red
pumps. She always matches her shoes to her outfits - vast swaths of brightly colored fabric
that go under the guise of "caftans" and "capes" in plus-size stores. They should be illegal, as far
as I'm concerned.

"I'm okay. I'm coming out," I sniffed, opening the door.

I should have seen it coming. Bruce's proposal, I mean, not the puking.

That morning, for some reason, I read my horoscope, which is something I never do, seeing as
how I'm usually far too late to read the paper, or even bring it in, mind you. Plus, I hate touching
newsprint - it always ends up all over everything, especially my face. Not that I really believe
in astrology anyway. Except for maybe the page at the back of Cosmo, since it's a magazine,
not a newspaper, and because once I used the lucky numbers and won $125 in the lottery. But
I suppose that's numerology.

Anyway, that morning, my horoscope was dead-on, although I had no way of knowing it at the
time. The first sign that the planets were aligning against me occurred when I actually woke up
early. Well, not so much early as just not late. And Bruce, dear that he is, made us breakfast.
Three-egg cheese and mushroom omelets - with the yolks, of course; none of that whites-only
shit for us - and coffee. It was unusual for me to lose my dietary resolve so early in the day
(that usually doesn't happen until right before lunch), but I knew that since it was Friday anyway,
Monday would doubtlessly be a better time to start watching myself. Better not to spoil the
weekend, and all the wonderful meals that might have been.

"Evie, you wanna go out for dinner tonight, just us?" Bruce asked, knowing full well we almost
always go out Friday nights, just us. He probably thought he was being adorable for asking, but
to tell you the truth he was verging on smarmy. Or maybe it was just that he'd already asked me
three times. With our busy career-person schedules, Bruce doesn't always see as much of me
as he'd like, so I try to keep our weekly date sacred no matter what. That is, unless his mother,
Roberta - known as Bertie to those who love her, or at the very least to those who don't
despise her, since not too many people can claim more than that - decides that she wants to
have us over for watery soup and boiled potatoes, in which case we drop everything and run
directly to the Fulbrights' Greenwich, Connecticut compound for a meal that would make dinner
with the Royal Family seem like a hoedown.

I was at the very least glad to hear tonight would not be one of those nights. One Friday a
month with his mother is quite enough for me, though Bertie would have us over every week if I
didn't put my foot down. It's my theory that these so-called family nights are really just an
excuse for her to try and turn Bruce against me, since she obviously thinks I'm stopping him
from fulfilling his true potential. And who could blame me? Bertie sets the tone with interview-style
questions like "Bruce, do you feel that teaching second grade is a challenge for you,
intellectually speaking?" (A: "As you know, Mother, it's a school for gifted children, so yes - it
is a challenge"). Or perhaps a confusing zinger like, "Evelyn, does being Italo-American give
you an edge in the mail-order cosmetics industry?" (A: "Well, I'm only one half
Italian-American, Mrs. Fulbright, but no, I don't think it really makes a difference.")

Then we all sit back and enjoy the show while Bruce's wicked WASPy sisters, Brooke, Wendy
and, of course, Diana - each lovelier and thinner and perkier-breasted than the next - turn
the emasculation of their older brother into a spectator sport, while at the same time taking an
obvious mental inventory of every bite I manage to put in my mouth without gagging. By the end
of the night, I'm ready to kill, ready to shake his sweet old dad and say "Wake up! They've got
you by the balls, man! Get out now, while you've still got a good 20 years left!" But nobody
seems to notice any of it except me, and Bruce and I spend the train ride home fighting.

But we'll save all that for next Friday. Tonight, we're free.

"I was thinking Luna," Bruce continued. "I made reservations for nine."

He knows I love it there. Luna is where my parents had their first date, a blind date. It was
where they fell in love the second they laid eyes on each other. When I was little, and sad or not
feeling well, I begged my mom to tell me the story over and over, and she would always oblige,
sparing no details - what she was wearing, the food they ate, how my dad said she looked like
Elizabeth Taylor, only with brown eyes and a bigger butt. I tried to imagine them there, sitting
next to the steamy window on a dark winter night. Luna was also where they went to eat the
night I was conceived. It was the last time they did it before my dad died, although she left that
part out until I was a little older.

Bruce and I always save Luna for special occasions, never more than once or twice a year. And
walking around Little Italy makes us horny and couple-y feeling, so it's always a guaranteed
good time. There's something so nice about prancing around, arm in arm, flaunting our delirious
happiness to the droves of miserable Manhattan singletons out hunting in packs, or, even better,
those on obviously painful blind dates. It's like we're members of a private club of two, and it
reminds me how being a part of something, no matter how troubled or even depressing it may be at
times, is usually far superior to being a part of nothing.

(Continues...)



Excerpted from Slim Chance by Jackie Rose
Copyright © 2003 by Harlequin Enterprises Ltd.
Excerpted by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4
( 8 )
Rating Distribution

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(4)

4 Star

(2)

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Sort by: Showing all of 8 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 1, 2006

    Avid Reader

    I found that the main character was just too unrealistic in terms of her being so damn mean and awful. I know there are actual people who act this way in real life but the fact of the matter is, her character was just a bit much and how in the world could she be engaged with her being that damn mean???? I am not sure I would recommend this book to someone else to read but I did purchase it on the bargain table so it wasn't that bad in terms of price. I just think the author should really look into character traits/personalities because I have never met someone who is that mean and cruel in reality and yet, this is a character in fiction.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted March 15, 2005

    Easy read with lots of laughs

    One of the best Red Dress Ink books I've gone through in a while. Great take on weight loss, weddings, work and the insanity of it all! I highly recommend this one!!!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted October 26, 2004

    not my fav.

    I found the main character of this book very hard to relate to or to even like. I think that was the biggest downfall of the book...she became so unlikeable. I just barely made it to the end where, thank god, she became a little bit more normal and not so mean and awful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted August 15, 2004

    GOOD BOOK! CUTE! HILARIOUS!

    I'm 173 pages into this 331 page book, but already I'm giving it major props. It's cute, it's funny, it's an easy read. I just can't put it down! I plan to stay up the rest of the night finishing it, and I'm sure it'll be good.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 5, 2004

    So cute

    I was just married 6 months ago and i really enjoyed reading this book. It related to the crazy sometimes overwhelming feelings that come along with planning for a wedding. Easy reading - I really enjoyed this one.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 7, 2003

    Bravo!

    Terrific! Funny! Couldn't put it down yet didn't want it to end!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 9, 2003

    Fabulous!!!!!!!

    I absolutely loved Evelyn Mays, the sassy and outrageous bride-to-be heroin of Slim Chance. While few of us would strive to be too much like her, I busted a gut laughing out loud at her biting but oblivious take on things. Once I started reading Slim Chance, I just couldn¿t put it down, as I just had to see what Evelyn did or said next. With her debut novel, Jackie Rose takes everything funny about weddings, family, in-laws, dieting and office jobs, and hands it to the reader on a silver platter. Red Dress Ink has once again shown that it has a real knack for discovering and debuting previously unknown talent, and for putting out fantastic books. Slim Chance is a hilariously sarcastic and refreshingly insightful story that shouldn¿t be missed!!

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  • Posted December 9, 2008

    more from this reviewer

    A comic mlodrama

    After living with Bruce happily for six years in their Brooklyn apartment, Evelyn is totally unprepared when he barges into a meeting at her workplace and romantically proposes to her in front of her colleagues and bosses. After saying yes, she bursts into tears and runs into the ladies room where she promptly throws up. After she has time to think, she knows she wants to lose weight for the wedding even though Brick loves her exactly the way she is.<P> At a special sale, she buys a size eight Vera Wang wedding dress even though she wears a fourteen. She signs up at a gym and spends a fortune on a personal trainer. Losing weight has become such an obsession with her that it is all she thinks about and as a result her relationship with Bruce deteriorates. Strangely enough the more weight she loses, the more her connection with he beloved Bruce weakens until she finally does the one thing that could permanently push the man she truly loves into leaving her.<P> SLIM CHANCE is a funny, poignant and unusual relationship drama in which the reader simultaneously feels sorry for and angry with the heroine. Bruce is a decent intelligent person who (along with the audience) is totally bewildered by his fiancée's mood swings and obsessions to the point that he wonders (like readers) if this relationship need to end. Jackie Rose has written a realistic tale that is both believable and fun to read. This is an ideal beach novel.<P> Harriet Klausner

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