Smile for No Good Reason: Simple Things You Can Do to Get Happy NOW

Overview

Building on the work pioneered by his father, Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, the author shows how Attitudinal Healing will give readers the happiness they seek-without changing the amount in one's bank account, spouse, job, status, or religion. The only thing readers need to change is that over which they have complete control-their attitude. As Jampolsky writes, "Nothing needs to change in your life situation or the world in order for you to have peace of mind."

In an increasingly ...

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Smile for No Good Reason

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Overview

Building on the work pioneered by his father, Dr. Gerald Jampolsky, the author shows how Attitudinal Healing will give readers the happiness they seek-without changing the amount in one's bank account, spouse, job, status, or religion. The only thing readers need to change is that over which they have complete control-their attitude. As Jampolsky writes, "Nothing needs to change in your life situation or the world in order for you to have peace of mind."

In an increasingly complex world, readers need to remind themselves of what is most precious. Smile for No Good Reason offers simple, practical ways to be happy by approaching life with a different attitude.

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What People Are Saying

Richard Carlson
This book brings a 'smile' to my face—as it will to yours! (Dr. Richard Carlson, author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff)
Hugh Prather
. . . hands down the most accessible and practical book ever written on Attitudinal Healing. If you buy it and read it, you'll keep it forever. (Hugh Prather, author of Spiritual Notes to Myself)
Caroline Myss
. . . a delightful book that guides people through the daily stresses of life with hope and optimism. (Caroline Myss, author of Anatomy of the Spirit)
Bernie Siegel
Jampolsky can make you aware of your options, and when inspiration and information come together, transformation occurs. (Bernie Siegel, MD, author of Love, Medicine and Miracles)
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781571745743
  • Publisher: Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.
  • Publication date: 2/15/2008
  • Pages: 256
  • Sales rank: 318,970
  • Product dimensions: 5.96 (w) x 6.51 (h) x 0.68 (d)

Meet the Author

Lee L. Jampolsky is a psychologist and consultant. He is the author of Healing the Addictive Mind (more than 18,000 sold) and numerous other books. He lives in Carmel Valley, California.
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Read an Excerpt

Smile

For No Good Reason


By LEE L. JAMPOLSKY

Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc.

Copyright © 2000 Lee L. Jampolsky, PhD
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-57174-574-3



CHAPTER 1

Principle Number One:

The essence of our being is love.

Love releases us into the realm of divine imagination, where the soul is expanded ... Love allows a person to see the true angelic nature of another person, the halo, the aureole of divinity.

Thomas Moore, in Care of the Soul


Whatever the problem, love is in the solution.

Life can appear to be an endless series of problems to be solved—some big, some small, some insurmountable—all calling for a different solution. You may even be facing some right now.

Attitudinal Healing offers another way of looking at problems (and the world) by focusing on the one solution to all your challenges: Your attitude in solving any problem is far more important than the particular action you might take. When you approach a perceived problem with a defensive or angry attitude, even if you arrive at the desired solution, you will not have peace of mind. What good does it do you to solve problems if you never find happiness?

If you are compassionate in your approach to all tasks in life, believing that all "problems" contain valuable lessons, you will find peace of mind. Instead of being a constant "problem solver" become a "love giver." This one shift can change your life.

Life is not as complicated as you have made it with your endless list of problems. Attitudinal Healing is based on three simple truths:

1. There are really only two emotions: love and fear.

2. There is really only one problem: the belief that you are separate from God, humanity, and nature.

3. There is really only one solution: discovering that the essence of your being is love.


When your mind is fearful, which it can easily become accustomed to being, you hold on to guilt and resentments from the past, and anticipate problems in the future. This creates a life where, even though you may accomplish a good deal, consistent happiness is impossible. It is important to see that your guilt and resentments are causing you pain and limiting your growth, success, and happiness. Only by seeing the effects of guilt will you be willing to see the alternative.

Whatever the problem, love is the solution. You may be saying, "Well, my problem is that my mortgage is late. How is love going to pay it?" Or, "My problem is that I just got fired from my job. How is love going to be the solution?" Or, "I am alone and want a relationship. Whom do I have to love?"

When these types of situations happen in your life, you can become very narrow in your thinking. All of your energy goes into the crisis at hand, and peace of mind escapes you. In approaching any problem or upset that you have there are two truths that will help you direct your life toward happiness. These may not necessarily put money in the bank, have your boss rehire you, or deliver your soul mate to your door, but they will put peace in your mind. Then, regardless of the situation, you will find happiness.

The two truths that will direct your mind toward peace and give you the ability to get the most out of all situations are:

1. I can choose to be peaceful no matter what is happening.

2. Life's problems have nothing to do with my true identity. I am one with God, and my essence is love.


Reminding yourself of these truths on a regular basis throughout the day will be a beginning in taking charge of your thinking, and thus your life. Practicing them when confronting a challenging life situation will make you immune to the ups and downs of the world.

Knowing your peace of mind is up to you, not the world, is the most powerful and secure state of mind you can achieve.


Let a child teach you something.

It is hard to look at children and not see innocence. If you allow them to, they will teach you everything about love.

I have a friend named Michael who is four years old. Michael has a rare chromosome disorder and is delayed in some of his cognitive development in areas such as speech. I was speaking with his mother and I asked how his speech was coming. In a loving way she let me know that Michael is doing just fine at being who Michael is. I realized that my emphasis on the importance of language, instead of other forms of communication, kept me from seeing and fully appreciating Michael. She went on to tell me that though he doesn't talk much he kisses and hugs quite a bit, and he doesn't discriminate as to who receives his enthusiastic and spontaneous affection. Thus there are some surprised strangers receiving large and loving embraces.

After speaking with Michael's mom, I realized that I would benefit from talking less and indiscriminately loving more. Michael never sees a world full of problems to be solved. He sees a world full of people to be loved.

The essence of yourself as a child still lives in you, innocent and full of love. Let a child reintroduce you to yourself.


Decide what you are a student of.

When people enroll in college or other institutions, they decide what courses they would like to take, assumably because they have interest in the subject. It would not make much sense, or be conducive to learning, to randomly go from class to class each day with no direction or purpose.

Think of your life as a place of education where you have the opportunity to choose what you want to learn. Imagine you can choose between two curriculums: One is taught at Fear State, the other at Love University.

To attend Fear State, the only requirement is for you to believe that you are separate from God and therefore your essence is not love.

To attend Love University, your only requirement is for you to believe there just might be another way to go through life. No matter what you may have done in the past you will never be rejected from Love U. Also, Love University allows transfers from Fear State at any time, no questions asked.

The curricula at the two schools are quite different and lead to very different realities and experiences. Fear State is based on the philosophy of the ego, which teaches that you are alone and separate in a cruel and harsh world. Love University is founded on the truth that all beings are created in love, and that this love is within you now.

Take a look at the courses each offers, and decide where you want to spend your time learning. Note that Fear State describes its courses in a way that might initially sound attractive. Like any relentless recruiter, Fear State tries to sell you by saying that following its path will ultimately make you safe, powerful, and secure. When reading its course offerings, ask yourself if the recruiter just might be trying to pull the wool over your eyes.


Fear State Course Offerings

Fear 101. The Use of Guilt and Judgment:

This course teaches numerous ways to beat oneself and others up about things the student may have done in the past, and about who one believes one is. The premise is that one does this so as not to make further mistakes.


Fear 102. The Use of Blame:

This unique course offers the student ways to avoid just about anything. It teaches that if one doesn't feel peaceful, all one need do is find what is wrong in the external world and blame it. This course is a prerequisite for Fear 105.


Fear 103. The Use of Time:

Students will learn how to dwell on problems and will learn that trust is a foolish thing. In the second part of the course, the student will learn a variety of ways to worry about the future. None of the material teaches about the present, because, to the fearful mind, it is dangerous and uncontrollable.


Fear 104. Desire and Scarcity, the Greatest Motivators:

The student will be taught that the more one has and accomplishes, the happier one will be. Emphasis is on the belief that as long as the student wants more, the student will be motivated to achieve. Scarcity will be taught by demonstrating if one gives away what is believed to be important, one will have less.


Fear 105. Control All and Be Safe:

The central teaching of this course is that if one can always be right, one can always be happy. The first part of the course teaches that if one can control others one will achieve great success. The second part shows how to use guilt, intimidation, fear, domination, manipulation, conditional love, and criticism to get what it is that one thinks one wants.


Love University Course Offerings

Love 101. Acceptance:

This course teaches that the only thing one can really change is one's own mind. The student is taught to accept what cannot be changed, and change what can be, thereby achieving peace of mind.


Love 102. Forgiveness:

Through seeing no value in holding on to guilt the student discovers the essence of all beings is love. This is the foundation of forgiveness.


Love 103. The Use of Time:

Participants will learn how to discover love by letting go of the past and ceasing to worry about the future. Participants remove all limitations from themselves and others by practicing the core teaching: "Now is the only time there is. This instant is for giving and receiving love."


Love 104. Abundance:

Participants learn that giving and receiving are one in truth. Through ongoing demonstrations, everyone joyfully learns the important equation that what is most important, love and compassion, increase as we give them away.


Love 105. Service:

Participants learn that the greatest source of joy comes from sharing Love. Through service, students learn that assisting others in loving ways gives purpose and meaning to their existence.

Each minute of every day you are deciding upon what you want to learn. Both Fear State and Love University are possible choices, but only one is worthy of your investment. The more you can consciously turn your back on the loud recruiter of Fear State and walk toward the gentle guidance of Love University, the more you will discover the dividends of joy, happiness, and self-acceptance.

You choose your own curriculum. Do you want to be a student of love or a student of fear?


Spend more of your life trying to understand other people's views than trying to sell them on your own.

What did you want most as a child? To be loved? And what could most effectively communicate that you were loved? Was it not to be listened to with interest and caring? Though the world might seem much more complicated as an adult, nothing has changed in terms of your most basic needs. There is no greater gift you can give a person than listening to them.

Despite popular opinion, the goal of listening is not to figure out how the other person is wrong and how you can make them see it your way. Nor is it to figure out what the problem is and fix it. The goal of authentic listening is to love.

People are so busy in our culture that lack of listening is epidemic. One of the most common complaints in couples' therapy is, "I just want to be heard. He/she doesn't understand me." Teenagers often state, "I am tired of only hearing what I do wrong. You have no idea what my life is really like." Younger children act out because they experience their parent's lack of listening. Employees often know their company well and have good ideas, yet rather than being listened to, they are often handed a new policy to follow. Officials elected to represent the people often forget to listen and instead they promote agendas of their own.

Listening can be mistaken for doing nothing. This is because you can believe that taking some sort of physical action is always necessary. Listening authentically is active, and is one of the most powerful actions you can initiate in your life.

Try a little experiment. Instead of taking some physical action, focus on actively listening more. Active listening means that you listen to other people with the full intention of understanding them. For this experiment, let go of any criticism you might have of the other person. Don't try to figure out any solutions to what they are saying. Simply listen. Your eye contact, relaxed body posture, and unhurried mood all communicate, "I want to know your perspective and your experience." If you give verbal responses, let them be centered on trying to understand the other person, as opposed to arguing or offering your opinion or advice.

This experiment can be challenging because really listening requires slowing down and being present. It is worth the effort because there is no greater gift, especially to those people whom you most love.

Practice active listening and other people will feel loved and accepted by you. And, you will feel like you were just given wings.


Know when your plate is full.

If you were dining in a restaurant and the waitperson kept putting more food on your plate, you would likely say you were full. Does it not make sense to do the same when your being—your emotions, intellect, and spirit—is on overload? Know when your plate is full and you will be much happier.

In today's fast pace, few encouraging words are given in the workplace for a balanced and thoughtful life, in which one has clear priorities of family, physical, spiritual, and mental health. A common attitude has become "the more stress you can handle the better." Compliments are given to those who look haggard while saying, "Boy, what a rough day! I had twelve hours of nonstop work."

Eight common signs of having too full a plate are:

1. People close to you suggest you slow down.

2. There are no more people close to you.

3. The mere thought of working less brings on anxiety.

4. Rather than relaxing on vacation you bring along "just a little" work or have a long list of things to do or sights to see. Or, you begin to feel anxious on returning from a holiday.

5. You spend less and less time doing activities that are important to you.

6. Little, insignificant things easily annoy you.

7. Your body reacts with frequent illness.

8. You die young.


Some years ago in New York City it was discovered by chance how stress could begin to feel like what is normal. A noisy above-ground portion of an existing subway was rerouted away from the windows of many apartment houses. Surprisingly, rather than all of the tenants being able to sleep better, they were no longer able to sleep well at all. Peace and quiet were keeping them up all night! It turned out that most of them were waking up at the exact times the train was supposed to be going by. Over the years, they had become so used to the stress of the noise they now felt out of sorts without it.

It is possible that you live a life so constantly full of stress that you have become acclimated to it. Even when your plate is full you may continue to take on more. In fact, you may be so used to stress that when it is not there it feels like something is wrong.

You may believe that you have no choice other than to live with your current level of stress. Think again. Your stress can be reduced. Begin by:

• Knowing when your plate is full and responding accordingly.

• Seeing that the purpose of all communication is to extend love.


It is remarkable how stress melts away when one sees that the purpose of every interaction is to love. You make room for this to happen in your life by not taking too much on.

You can choose to stop living a life where you take on more and feel less. This is one foundation of a spiritual path.


You are more important than your "to do" list.

Chances are excellent that the day you die your "to do" list will not be empty. You could either kill yourself trying to get it all done, or never start living because there is always something else to do first. There is another way.

Not only are you more important than your list of things to do, so are other people in your life. It is easy to put off relating to your self, spouse, kids, friends, and animals— decide not to. Decide to relate.

At least three times every day take a moment and ask yourself what is really important. Have the wisdom and the courage to build your life around your answer.

I recently came across the following quote that puts priorities in perspective. I don't know where it originated, but its simple wisdom gets my attention.

If you knew today was your last day to live who would you call, and what would you say? What are you waiting for?


What could you want that love doesn't offer?

Upon contemplating this question, you may begin to realize how much of your life has been spent thinking that things other than love would give you what you want. This is an easy mistake to make. Looking about the world what do you see? A multitude of movies filled with themes of revenge. Endless advertising which not-so-subtly suggests that some new material possession will give you what you want. Relationships devoted to the idea that you should give only if you know what you will get in return. Children experiencing the face of a computer more than the loving face of their parents.

How different your life becomes when you direct it toward God and see nothing as more important than love.

Fear can create "cataracts of the mind," where seeing through the eyes of love becomes difficult. Cataracts of the mind are made of ancient resentments, unreleased guilt, relentless fear, and endless thoughts of scarcity. When you look through this occluded lens, how could you possibly see the love that is really there?

In seeking love you don't seek something elusive. Love is always available. Yet it is easy to close the door to happiness because of the belief that something other than love offers what you want.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from Smile by LEE L. JAMPOLSKY. Copyright © 2000 Lee L. Jampolsky, PhD. Excerpted by permission of Hampton Roads Publishing Company, Inc..
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents


Acknowledgments,

Introduction,

Principle Number One: The essence of our being is love.,

Principle Number Two: Health is inner peace. Healing is letting go of fear.,

Principle Number Three: Giving and receiving are the same.,

Principle Number Four: We can let go of the past and of the future.,

Principle Number Seven: We can become love finders rather than fault finders.,

Principle Number Eight: We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening,

Principle Number Nine: We are students and teachers to each other.,

Principle Number Ten: We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments.,

Principle Number Eleven: Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful.,

Principle Number Twelve: We can always perceive ourselves and others as either extending love or giving a call for help.,

About the Author,

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