So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead [NOOK Book]

Overview

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            What’s a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a ...

See more details below
So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

Available on NOOK devices and apps  
  • NOOK Devices
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 7.0
  • Samsung Galaxy Tab 4 NOOK 10.1
  • NOOK HD Tablet
  • NOOK HD+ Tablet
  • NOOK eReaders
  • NOOK Color
  • NOOK Tablet
  • Tablet/Phone
  • NOOK for Windows 8 Tablet
  • NOOK for iOS
  • NOOK for Android
  • NOOK Kids for iPad
  • PC/Mac
  • NOOK for Windows 8
  • NOOK for PC
  • NOOK for Mac
  • NOOK for Web

Want a NOOK? Explore Now

NOOK Book (eBook)
$10.49
BN.com price
(Save 12%)$11.95 List Price

Overview

Being undead can be disorienting. Your arms and other appendages tend to rot and fall off. It’s difficult to communicate with a vocabulary limited to moans and gurgles. And that smell! (Yes, it’s you.) But most of all, you must constantly find and ingest human brains. Braaaains!!!

            What’s a zombie to do?

            Thankfully, zombiologist John Austin details everything you need to know, as a newly undead soul, to hunt, fight, and feed on the living. As the first handbook written specifically for the undead, So Now You’re a Zombie explains how you ended up in this predicament, the stages of zombification, and what you need to survive in this zombiphobic world. Dozens of helpful diagrams outline attack strategies, such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zack, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall, to secure your human prey. You’ll even learn how to successfully extract the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles.

            This handbook also explores the upside of being a zombie. Gone are the burdens of employment, taxes, social networks, even basic hygiene, allowing you to focus on simple necessities in “life”: the juicy gray matter found in the skulls of the living.

Read More Show Less

Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly
There is more to undeath than shambling around in search of brains to eat, but not much more, according to this short but detailed look at the new zombie, or “zed,” lifestyle. Filled with deadpan tips on how to succeed in the coming zombie apocalypse, it covers the basics of caring for decomposing flesh (“If you experience an extreme freeze... your extremities should continue to function until they fall off”), practical suggestions for overcoming obstacles, and instructions for attacking the living (“The only thing more lethal than you is you on fire!”). The blood-splattered pages contain copious diagrams, such as a zombie food pyramid, pie charts of infection methods, and instructions for operating doorknobs. The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist. (Oct.)
From the Publisher

"An excellent choice for the zombie completist."  —Kirkus Reviews

“This book is a total blast and a must-have for zombie fans! Grade A.” —Mania.com

“The illustrations are as grossly explicit as the text is employee-handbook underplayed, making this an excellent choice for the zombie completist.” —Publishers Weekly

"Everything a new flesh eater needs to know about surviving in a world where you only want one thing: brains."  --Geek-span.com

"Brilliantly tongue-in-cheek. . . . A must for all fans of spoof manuals and zombies alike." —NY Journal of Books.com

"Explains everything a newly undead soul needs to hunt, fight and feed on the living." —Aolnews.com

"A parody with brains. . .  [the book] is just too funny to pass up." —NeoTokyoProject.com

"Austin's tongue-in-cheek humor perfectly compliments the subject matter." —ZombiePhiles.com 

Read More Show Less

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781613740781
  • Publisher: Chicago Review Press, Incorporated
  • Publication date: 10/1/2010
  • Sold by: Barnes & Noble
  • Format: eBook
  • Sales rank: 843,563
  • File size: 14 MB
  • Note: This product may take a few minutes to download.

Meet the Author

John Austin is the author of MiniWeapons of Mass Destruction, Cubical Warfare, and Prank University. For more information, visit
http://www.johnaustinbooks.com/zombie.html 

Read More Show Less

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 7 )
Rating Distribution

5 Star

(5)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(1)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Your Name: Create a Pen Name or

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identity on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

 
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously
Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted May 11, 2013

    Yumm

    Yumy mom said dinner

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 28, 2013

    LOLZ

    A book to teach the zed how to kill! Not what I call safe for the food chain. Really good book though

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted June 6, 2012

    Good!!!!!

    This book is magnifisant

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted January 28, 2012

    From The Aussie Zombie

    As a self-confessed Zombie addict, I've read a lot of Zombie books over the past two years, and I've got very definite ideas about what I like, what entertains me, and what I don't like. This book falls firmly into two categories - I liked it, and it entertained me!

    Although there is a glut of zombie-esque books available at the moment, this book is in two of the less travelled perspectives - survivor guide and zombie perspective. As such, it is quite unique in the Zombie world.

    This is a funny book - the sarcastic, witty comments paired with some quite serious hints and tips for the newly infected made me smile, snicker and on some occasions, laugh out loud. The diagrams, graphs and graphics add to the feel of the book as well as enhancing the points made.

    That said, some of the topics contradict our traditional ideas on the capabilities of zombies, however for me, that just added an extra consideration to what would happen when the zombapocalypse knocks on our door....or if we're an early victim!

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Posted December 5, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    The best zombie humor book I've read so far

    Reviewed for Monster Librarian
    So Now You're a Zombie is a book in vein of The Zen of Zombie and Z.E.O by Scott Kenemore, but rather than mix the undead and self help books it crams loads of in-jokes into a beginner's guide to zombies. While it's not necessarily a fiction book (there's no real story), it's not quite nonfiction either and often too grim to be pure humor.
    What this book is, is a reflection of our current obsession with zombies and all the forms the zed stories have taken. Another must-have for the collections of zombie enthusiasts its also a good addition to public collection that cater to lots of zombie fans.
    Contains: Violence, gory illustrations, bad puns

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted November 5, 2010

    No text was provided for this review.

  • Anonymous

    Posted June 15, 2011

    No text was provided for this review.

Sort by: Showing all of 7 Customer Reviews

If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)