So You Want To Be President?

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In theory, there are only two qualifications needed to run for President of the United States: you should be 35 years of age and a natural born U.S. citizen. But what else does one need to be a contender? Whether you're an elephant or a donkey, or whatever animal may be associated with an independent candidate, this book is the key to finding out if you're cut out for the job.

So You Want to Be President? Takes you from choosing your party affiliation, through the primaries and...

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More About This Book

Overview


In theory, there are only two qualifications needed to run for President of the United States: you should be 35 years of age and a natural born U.S. citizen. But what else does one need to be a contender? Whether you're an elephant or a donkey, or whatever animal may be associated with an independent candidate, this book is the key to finding out if you're cut out for the job.

So You Want to Be President? Takes you from choosing your party affiliation, through the primaries and ultimately to the general election. Along the way quizzes, tests and obstacles test your presidential mettle. In the back of the book is a handy scorecard for readers to track their progress toward 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781582975191
  • Publisher: F+W Media, Inc.
  • Publication date: 3/28/2008
  • Pages: 176
  • Product dimensions: 5.54 (w) x 8.42 (h) x 0.47 (d)

Meet the Author


John Warner is the editor of McSweeney's Internet Tendency and teaches at Clemson University. He writes fiction, humor, and nonfiction, and is co-author of My First Presidentiary: A Scrapbook of George W. Bush, a Washington Post #1 bestseller. He is co-editor of Created in Darkness by Troubled Americans: The Best of McSweeney's, Humor Category (Knopf), and his work has been anthologized in May Contain Nuts: A Very Loose Cannon of American Humor (Harper Perennial) and Stumbling and Raging: More Politically Inspired Fiction (MacAdam/Cage).
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Table of Contents

Introduction: So You Want to Be President?     1
This Height or Taller to Run: Are You Qualified to Be President?     8
But are you Really Qualified?: How Much Baggage Are You Carrying?     14
Elephant, Donkey, or Some Kind of Elephonkey?: Your Place on the Political Spectrum     17
Are you Really Sure you want to be President?: Plowing Past the Fail-Safe Point     28
The Primaries     32
Announcing your Candidacy: Meeting Tim Russert     34
Money-Money-Money-Money ... Money!: You and Your Campaign Coffers     46
Friend or Foe?: You and Your Special Interest Groups     54
Shameless Pandering is Not a Factor for You: Appealing to the Primary Voter     56
Shaking Babies and Kissing Hands, or is it the Other Way Around?: The Primary States     67
General Election     80
Time out for Some fun: You and Your Campaign Slogan     82
[Insert Your Name Here] for President: You and Your Logo     86
Pleased to Meet You ... and You ... and You: You and Your Handshake     90
Shit You Should Probably Know: Part 1: The Constitution     98
I Now Declare You Running Mates: Choosing Your Vice President     101
They Like You ... They Really, Really Like You!: You and Your Nominating Convention     108
I Can Name ThatBlowhard in Three ... No, Two Phrases: You and the Media Personalities     112
The Dirt of Your Enemy is Your Victory Soap: You and Opposition Research     119
You Didn't do All That Yourself, Did You?: You Are Not a Crook (But Your Cronies Should Be)     123
Shit You Should Probably Know, Part II: The Concerns of Everyday People Who Are Nothing Like You     124
Polling, Polling, Polling ... Keep Those Surveys Rolling: Public Opinion Polling     129
Dodge, Bob, and Weave: The Third Rails of Politics     137
Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word: Cleaning Up Your Mistakes     143
One Nation Under God: You and Religion     147
Shit You Should Know, Part III.: Foreign Relations     151
Go Negative or go Home: You and Your Last, Best Hope     157
Election Day     167
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