So You're 70!

So You're 70!

by Mike Haskins, Clive Whichelow
     
 

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Congratulations—you've made it to the ripe old age of 70! You're older than Israel and Biffo the Bear. By now the novelty of a free bus pass has worn off and you'll never make it through the late night film feature without nodding off during the news. On the bright side, you can look forward to a new pair of knees and maybe even a new hip. And when they fail,…  See more details below

Overview


Congratulations—you've made it to the ripe old age of 70! You're older than Israel and Biffo the Bear. By now the novelty of a free bus pass has worn off and you'll never make it through the late night film feature without nodding off during the news. On the bright side, you can look forward to a new pair of knees and maybe even a new hip. And when they fail, you can enjoy making your way to the corner shop on your own top-of-the-range mobility scooter.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781840246469
Publisher:
Summersdale
Publication date:
03/01/2008
Pages:
96
Product dimensions:
4.60(w) x 4.60(h) x 0.50(d)

Read an Excerpt

So You're 70!


By Mike Haskins, Clive Whichelow, Ian Baker

Summersdale Publishers Ltd

Copyright © 2008 Mike Haskins and Clive Whichelow
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-0-85765-585-1



CHAPTER 1

THE BASIC MYTHS ABOUT TURNING 70


You don't know what's fashionable any more – yes you do! You just keep listening to the same music, wearing the same clothes and keep your house decorated the same way – it all comes back into fashion every few years!

You're into your second childhood – not unless you count sleeping in the day and needing the toilet in the middle of the night.

You're past it! – well, at least that means you know where it is and can go back and find it again whenever you choose!

You're a grumpy old git – really? No work, free travel, people giving you their seat on crowded buses ... what's to be grumpy about?

CHAPTER 2

THINGS YOU WILL NEVER NOW DO

Win Wimbledon (Even the 'veterans' are under 60 for goodness sake!).

Get a job as Tom Cruise or Angelina Jolie's stunt double.

The splits (except perhaps by accident – possibly while auditioning to be Tom Cruise or Angelina Jolie's stunt double).

CHAPTER 3

YOUR LIFE WILL NOW CONSIST OF ...

Feeding the entire bird population of your neighbourhood.

Trying to find your glasses (try top of head or dangling from string round neck).

Attending exercise classes in an attempt to regain the physique you had as a lithe young 60-year-old.


(Continues...)

Excerpted from So You're 70! by Mike Haskins, Clive Whichelow, Ian Baker. Copyright © 2008 Mike Haskins and Clive Whichelow. Excerpted by permission of Summersdale Publishers Ltd.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Meet the Author


Mike Haskins is a comedy writer and joke book author who cowrote the Cackle and Howl Joke Book and the bestselling Man Walks into a Bar. Clive Whichelow has written for Smack the Pony, Dead Ringers, and Spitting Image as well as for the Mail on Sunday, the Express, and the Daily Mirror. They are the coauthors of How to Survive Retirement, Oldies’ Wit, and Wrinklies Joke Book.

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