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The authors found that families committed to staying together are able to overcome the powerful ...
The authors found that families committed to staying together are able to overcome the powerful obstacles imposed by society. Focusing on fifty average families - not people seen in clinics or therapy - they found a consistent pattern of change: first negative, then positive. Sometimes the news led parents and siblings to form stronger bonds with the child, with each other, and with other relatives and friends. In many cases their child's lover and lover's family grew to assume an important part of their own lives. In some cases, parents and siblings discovered new meaning in their lives through speaking out or joining PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) and becoming part of the struggle for lesbian and gay rights.
Herdt and Koff also show the lasting and sometimes tragic consequences for families who falter in the process of integration. Unwilling to accept their child's sexuality, some parents sought to place blame on one another and all too often their own relationships unraveled as a result. Others who failed to tell close friends sometimes lost those friends through keeping secrets. Parents who neglected to form bonds with their child's lover fostered climates of alienation that persisted for years.
Something to Tell You shows families the steps to take toward new levels of support, solidarity, and love.
|Introduction: When Your Child Says, "I Have Something to Tell You..."||1|
|Ch. 1||The Heterosexual Family Myth: How It Can Be Harmful||13|
|Ch. 2||What Affects a Family's Resilience?||29|
|Ch. 3||When a Family Loses Its Way: Disintegration||41|
|Ch. 4||Somewhere in the Middle: Ambivalence||63|
|Ch. 5||The Family Renewed: Integration||81|
|Ch. 6||You Have Something to Hear: New Cultural Ideals||107|
|App. 1: Tables||121|
|App. 2: Context and Methods of the Study||127|
|App. 3: Resources||137|