Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

( 10 )

Overview

Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better?many of these ?persuasive blamers? leverage false accusations, attempt to ...

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Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder

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Overview

Protect Yourself from Manipulation, False Accusations, and Abuse

Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. When your spouse has borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or is manipulative, divorcing can be especially complicated. While people with these tendencies may initially appear convincing and even charming to lawyers and judges, you know better—many of these “persuasive blamers” leverage false accusations, attempt to manipulate others, launch verbal and physical attacks, and do everything they can to get their way.

Splitting is your legal and psychological guide to safely navigating a high-conflict divorce from an unpredictable spouse. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, therapist, and divorce mediator, and Randi Kreger, coauthor of the BPD classic Stop Walking on Eggshells, this book includes all of the critical information you need to work through the process of divorce in an emotionally balanced, productive way.

Turn to this guide to help you:

  • Predict what your spouse may do or say in court
  • Take control of your case with assertiveness and strategic thinking
  • Choose a lawyer who understands your case
  • Learn how e-mails and social networking can be used against you
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers’ odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances.”
—Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin and author of Contemplating Divorce and Stronger Day by Day
From The Critics

Splitting provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers’ odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances.”
—Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin and author of Contemplating Divorce and Stronger Day by Day

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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781608820252
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • Publication date: 7/1/2011
  • Pages: 304
  • Sales rank: 90,424
  • Product dimensions: 8.80 (w) x 6.06 (h) x 0.70 (d)

Meet the Author

Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, has been a family lawyer for over eighteen years and a therapist for over twelve years. He is senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, CA, and president of the High Conflict Institute based in Scottsdale, AZ. He is a faculty member at Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College and has provided seminars to judges, lawyers, counselors, and others on the subject of managing high-conflict personalities in legal disputes.

Randi Kreger owns and maintains www.bpdcentral.com, one of the largest and most popular websites about borderline personality disorder (BPD). With nearly twenty thousand active members, her website’s online community Welcome to Oz offers online support to friends and family members of those with BPD. Kreger was instrumental in the formation of the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN), a not-for-profit organization, and speaks at BPD workshops internationally. She is coauthor of Stop Walking on Eggshells and The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and author of The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. She lives in Milwaukee, WI.

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Table of Contents

Acknowledgments v

Introduction 1

Quick-Start Guide 7

Part 1 Preparing for a Difficult Divorce

1 Preparing Yourself 13

2 Understanding Borderline and Narcissistic Personalities 25

3 Blamers and Targets: It's All Your Fault! 43

4 Managing a Blamer with an Assertive Approach 69

5 Preparing for a Court Battle with a Blamer 89

Part 2 Succeeding in Family Court

6 Today's Divorce Court Culture 109

7 Hiring a Lawyer Who Understands 137

8 Working with Your Lawyer to Handle Predictable Crises 147

9 Gathering Evidence About Your Blamer's Private Persona 135

10 Working with Experts and Evaluators 169

11 What to Expect from the Blamer's Attorney 191

12 What to Expect at a Hearing or Trial with a Blamer 203

Part 3 Succeeding Out of Court

13 Considering Alternatives to Litigation with a Blamer 225

14 Managing the Rocky Postdivorce Relationship 247

15 Conclusion 271

Appendix: Open Letters to Professionals, and Family and Friends 277

Resources 285

References 289

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Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 10 )
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Sort by: Showing all of 10 Customer Reviews
  • Anonymous

    Posted September 30, 2012

    Stigma

    The biggest mistake this book makes (as many have before it and will continue to do so) is grouping BPD with NPD in the first place. Books like this are written by the ignorant and hateful people who believe these illnesses make one a bad person. If that is the stigma (the lie) you choose to go with, at least have the decency to not miseducate folks on such illnesses. BPD is almost the opposite of Narcissism - Those who have it already hate themselves. The last thing they need is more ignorant authors and doctors who just want to rid the world of them because they're too lazy to put in any real effort. Don't be a part of the problem, try being part of the solution for once.

    2 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted April 17, 2012

    Great Book!

    I found this book extremely validating and helpful. Full of tools to deal with the Borderline Personality person in my life.

    1 out of 3 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted February 22, 2014

    All BS!

    I agree with stigma. This book is pure garbage.

    0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  No   Report this review
  • Anonymous

    Posted July 15, 2013

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    Posted January 30, 2014

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    Posted February 21, 2013

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    Posted December 27, 2011

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    Posted October 4, 2012

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    Posted January 19, 2013

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 29, 2012

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