Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Wicked Bestiary

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More About This Book

Overview

If animals were more like us, if mice kept pets and toads could cuss, if dogs had wives and chipmunks dated, sheep sat still and meditated, then in the forest, field, and dairy you might find this bestiary, read by storks, by rats and kitties, skimmed by cows with milk-stained titties. "I found the book to be most droll," might quip the bear, the owl, the mole, Others, though, would be more coarse. "Bull," could say the pig and horse. As to the scribe, they'd quote the hen: "Trust me, he's no La Fontaine."

  • Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk
    Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk  

Editorial Reviews

From Barnes & Noble

"Someone suggested that my new book is bedtimes stories for children who drink." That judgment can't be taken too seriously, but David Sedaris' Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk does qualify as a contrarian contemporary redo of Aesop animal fables. A Barnes & Noble Bestseller now in paperback and NOOK Book.

Publishers Weekly
Like a modern-day Aesop or La Fontaine, Sedaris has his darkly comic and deeply cynical (if somewhat rambling) morality stories enacted by animals. Although Sedaris typically narrates his works solo, here he is joined by Dylan Baker, Siân Phillips, and (the incomparable) Elaine Stritch. The dry tones of both women are particularly well suited to the knowing commentary offered by various domesticated, barnyard, and wild animals on casual racism, self-congratulatory sanctimony, poor excuses for adultery, and fad spiritualism, among other common societal ills. The audiobook features a bonus fable not available in the text version of the book; in addition, the third CD includes PDFs of the book's illustrations by Ian Falconer (writer/illustrator of the Olivia picture book series). A Little, Brown hardcover. (Sept.)
More Reviews (6) Fewer Reviews
Carolyn Kellogg
"Wickedly funny....These are some of Sedaris's best stories...The animals have given Sedaris's humor some new teeth: tiny and sharp, and sometimes even ready to draw blood."
— Los Angeles Times
Chris Jones
"Wry and amusing."
— Chicago Tribune
Craig Wilson
"Great fun."
— USA Today
Heller McAlpin
"Outrageous....Wonderful...Sedaris's anthropomorphized creatures may seem domesticated, but this book, like his more familiar essays, is...wildly inspired--and a rip-roaring hoot."
— NPR
Leah Greenblatt
"For the strong-stomached, these tales are toxic little treats, fun-sized Snicker bars with a nougaty strychnine center."
— Entertainment Weekly
Raleigh News & Observer
"The funniest man on the planet."

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780316038393
  • Publisher: Little, Brown & Company
  • Publication date: 9/28/2010
  • Pages: 159
  • Sales rank: 88,339
  • Product dimensions: 5.30 (w) x 7.20 (h) x 1.00 (d)

Meet the Author

David Sedaris
David Sedaris

David Sedaris is a regular contributor to The New Yorker and Public Radio International's This American Life. He is the author of the books When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Naked, and Barrel Fever.

Biography

According to Time Out New York, "David Sedaris may be the funniest man alive." He's the sort of writer critics tend to describe not in terms of literary influences and trends, but in terms of what they choked on while reading his latest book. "I spewed a mouthful of pastrami across my desk," admitted Craig Seligman in his New York Times review of Naked.

Sedaris first drew national attention in 1992 with a stint on National Public Radio, on which he recounted his experiences as a Christmas elf at Macy's. He discussed "the code names for various posts, such as 'The Vomit Corner,' a mirrored wall near the Magic Tree" and confided that his response to "I'm going to have you fired" was the desire to lean over and say, "I'm going to have you killed." The radio pieces were such a hit that Sedaris, then working as a house cleaner, started getting offers to write movies, soap operas and Seinfeld episodes.

In subsequent appearances on NPR, Sedaris proved he wasn't just a velvet-clad flash in the pan; he's also wickedly funny on the subjects of smoking, speed, shoplifting and nervous tics. His work began appearing in magazines like Harper's and Mirabella, and his first book Barrel Fever, which included "SantaLand Diaries," was a bestseller. "These hilarious, lively and breathtakingly irreverent stories…made me laugh out loud more than anything I've read in years," wrote Francine Prose in the Washington Post Book World.

Since then, each successive Sedaris volume has zoomed to the top of the bestseller lists. In Naked, he recounts odd jobs like volunteering at a mental hospital, picking apples as a seasonal laborer and stripping woodwork for a Nazi sympathizer. The stocking stuffer-sized Holidays on Ice collects Sedaris' Christmas-themed work, including a fictional holiday newsletter from the homicidal stepmother of a 22-year-old Vietnamese immigrant ("She arrived in this house six weeks ago speaking only the words 'Daddy,' 'Shiny' and 'Five dollar now'. Quite a vocabulary!!!!!").

But Sedaris' best pieces often revolve around his childhood in North Carolina and his family of six siblings, including the brother who talks like a redneck gangsta rapper and the sister who, in a hilarious passage far too dirty to quote here, introduces him to the joys of the Internet. Sedaris' recent book Me Talk Pretty One Day describes, among other things, his efforts to learn French while helping his boyfriend fix up a Normandy farmhouse; he progresses "from speaking like an evil baby to speaking like a hillbilly. 'Is thems the thoughts of cows?' I'd ask the butcher, pointing to the calves' brains displayed in the front window."

Sedaris has been compared to American humorists such as Mark Twain, James Thurber and Dorothy Parker; Publisher's Weekly called him "Garrison Keillor's evil twin." Pretty heady stuff for a man who claims there are cats that weigh more than his IQ score. But as This American Life producer Ira Glass once pointed out, it would be wrong to think of Sedaris as "just a working Joe who happens to put out these perfectly constructed pieces of prose." Measured by his ability to turn his experiences into a sharply satirical, sidesplittingly funny form of art, David Sedaris is no less than a genius.

Good To Know

Sedaris got his start in radio after This American Life producer Ira Glass saw him perform at Club Lower Links in Chicago. In addition to his NPR commentaries, Sedaris now writes regularly for Esquire.

Sedaris's younger sister Amy is also a writer and performer; the two have collaborated on plays under the moniker "The Talent Family." Amy Sedaris has appeared onstage as a member of the Second City improv troupe and on Comedy Central in the series Strangers with Candy.

"If I weren't a writer, I'd be a taxidermist," Sedaris said in a chat on Barnes and Noble.com. According to the Boston Phoenix, his collection of stuffed dead animals includes a squirrel, two fruit bats, four Boston terriers and a baby ostrich.

    1. Also Known As:
      David Raymond Sedaris (full name)
    2. Hometown:
      London, England
    1. Date of Birth:
      December 26, 1956
    2. Place of Birth:
      Johnson City, New York
    1. Education:
      B.F.A., School of the Art Institute of Chicago, 1987

Table of Contents

The Cat and the Baboon 3

The Migrating Warblers 9

The Squirrel and the Chipmunk 15

The Toad, the Turtle, and the Duck 22

The Motherless Bear 29

The Mouse and the Snake 41

The Parenting Storks 51

The Faithful Setter 60

The Crow and the Lamb 75

The Sick Rat and the Healthy Rat 85

The Cow and the Turkey 92

The Vigilant Rabbit 101

The Judicious Brown Chicken 109

The Parrot and the Potbellied Pig 119

Hello Kitty 131

The Grieving Owl 141

First Chapter

Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk

A Modest Bestiary
By Sedaris, David

Little, Brown and Company

Copyright © 2010 Sedaris, David
All right reserved.
ISBN: 9780316038393

The Cat and the Baboon

The cat had a party to attend, and went to the baboon to get herself groomed.

“What kind of party?” the baboon asked, and she massaged the cat’s neck in order to relax her, the way she did with all her customers. “Hope it’s not that harvest dance down on the riverbank. My sister went last year and said she’d never seen such rowdiness. Said a fight broke out between two possums, and one gal, the wife of one or the other, got pushed onto a stump and knocked out four teeth. And they were pretty ones too, none of this yellowness you find on most things that eat trash.”

The cat shuddered. “No,” she said. “This is just a little get-together, a few friends. That type of thing.”

“Will there be food?” the baboon asked.

“Something,” the cat sighed. “I just don’t know what.”

“ ‘Course it’s hard,” the baboon said. “Everybody eating different things. You got one who likes leaves and another who can’t stand the sight of them. Folks have gotten so picky nowadays, I just lay out some peanuts and figure they either eat them or they don’t.”

“Now, I wouldn’t like a peanut,” the cat said. “Not at all.”

“Well, I guess you’d just have drinks, then. The trick is knowing when to stop.”

“That’s never been a problem for me,” the cat boasted. “I drink until I’m full, and then I push myself away from the table. Always have.”

“Well, you’ve got sense, then. Not like some of them around here.” The baboon picked a flea from the cat’s head and stuck it gingerly between her teeth. “Take this wedding I went to—last Saturday, I think it was. Couple of marsh rabbits got married—you probably heard about it.”

The cat nodded.

“Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked up a pen in their life, but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes—being in love.”

“My husband and I wrote our own vows,” the cat said defensively.

“Sure you did,” countered the baboon, “but you probably had something to say, not like these marsh rabbits, carrying on that their love was like a tender sapling or some damn thing. And all the while they had this squirrel off to the side, plucking at a harp, I think it was.”

“I had a harp player at my wedding,” the cat said, “and it was lovely.”

“I bet it was, but you probably hired a professional, someone who could really play. This squirrel, I don’t think she’d taken a lesson in her life. Just clawed at those strings, almost like she was mad at them.”

“Well, I’m sure she tried her best,” the cat said.

The baboon nodded and smiled, the way one must in the service industry. She’d planned to tell a story about a drunken marsh rabbit, the brother of the groom at last week’s wedding, but there was no point in it now, not with this client anyway. Whatever she said, the cat disagreed with, and unless she found a patch of common ground she was sure to lose her tip. “You know,” she said, cleaning a scab off the cat’s neck, “I hate dogs. Simply cannot stand them.”

“What makes you bring that up?” the cat asked.

“Just thinking,” the baboon said. “Some kind of spaniel mix walked in yesterday, asking for a shampoo, and I sent him packing, said, ‘I don’t care how much money you have, I’m not making conversation with anyone who licks his own ass.’ ” And the moment she said it, she realized her mistake.

“Now, what’s wrong with that?” the cat protested. “It’s good to have a clean anus. Why, I lick mine at least five times a day.”

“And I admire you for it,” the baboon said, “but you’re not a dog.”

“Meaning?”

“On a cat it’s… classy,” the baboon said. “There’s a grace to it, but a dog, you know the way they hunker over, legs going every which way.”

“Well, yes,” the cat said. “I suppose you have a point.”

“Then they slobber and drool all over everything, and what they don’t get wet, they chew to pieces.”

“That they do.” The cat chuckled, and the baboon relaxed and searched her memory for a slanderous dog story. The collie, the German shepherd, the spaniel mix she claimed to have turned away: they were all good friends of hers, and faithful clients, but what would it hurt to pretend otherwise and cross that fine line between licking ass and simply kissing it?



Continues...
Excerpted from Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by Sedaris, David Copyright © 2010 by Sedaris, David. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 3.5
( 502 )

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(114)

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See All Sort by: Showing 1 – 20 of 502 Customer Reviews

  • Posted October 9, 2010

    Aesop's Fables meets Grimm's Fairy Tales

    This was an exceptionally short read (84 or so pages), and, quite frankly, overpriced. While the stories were interesting, they were all quite morbid. Perhaps I just didn't get it, but it is not something I would necessarily recommend. This should be offered as a "buy a real book, get this fairy tale free." It was something that I read in less than an hour.

    14 out of 14 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 12, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    Don't waste your money

    Been a fan of Sedaris for a long time, but this book is stomach turning at times. NOT FUNNY! Maybe I don't get it, but I wish I could return it.

    12 out of 12 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 17, 2010

    Disappointing

    I've been a fan of Sedaris' work for years. What most impressed me in the past was his skill at conveying myriad human experience with wit and compassion. I think his most recent works, this book included, lack these qualities. I used to laugh out loud while reading his works and now I sometimes cringe.

    9 out of 9 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 17, 2010

    disappointing

    Do not spend the money. This is very simplistic and a waste of time.

    8 out of 8 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 18, 2010

    Stupid book

    I need to learn to take advantage of the "review" before I order a book. This book was really quite ridiculous. I'm glad it was only 82 pages long because I couldn't wait to finish it (I believe in finishing what I begin), and get it archived so I wouldn't have to look at it again!!!

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 14, 2010

    Awful Book

    Against my better judgement, I read the whole book in hopes of finding a redeeming quality. There isn't one. The stories are twisted, pointless and most end abruptly. Not to mention poorly written. As a David Sedaris fan, I was very disappointed.

    6 out of 7 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 29, 2010

    Dark and Dismal Disappointment

    David Sedaris can make even the most horrific family situation laughable, so why did he go down this incredibly dark path in this book. Yes, it is about animals, but the are there only to mirror some of humanity's worst faults and foibles. I read as far as the story where the crow plucks out and eats the eyes of a baby lamb before quitting. Sorry, David......I love you--have read all your books and seen you at two readings, but this is a huge disappointment.

    5 out of 5 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 17, 2010

    A Bold Move For Mr. Sedaris.

    The previous essays of David Sedaris have set a high expectation for what we, as readers, can expect from him. Until now, his books have all been exporations of the human condition by analysis of his childhood and adult life, his family and friends, and his difficulties learning the languages of French and love. They have been both entertaining and profound.

    In his new series of essay David Sedaris takes our expectations and turns them on thier heads...sort of. I read a number of review of this book before I ultimately decided to purchase it. To my surprise most of them were fairly negative and critical. The one thing these reviews had in common was that this book was a major departure from his musings on Homo Sapiens.

    I think that, in this day and age, for an artist to depart from what made him/her popular is a rarity that is to be applauded. Does this book lack some of the charm that makes it easy to identify with Sedaris's earlier works? Yes, but it also shows Seadaris's willingness to challenge himself as a writer. It is evident reading these stories that David Sedaris has thought very deeply on the ways animals live, and their relationships to other members of the animal kingdom. What I found most interesting was the profound messages he puts into these stories. Everything from how marriage works through the eyes of a faithful dog, to the inability to cope with loss and the repercussions thereof in the experience of a baby bear cub, and the extremes of parental honesty and its effects as shown by two pelican sisters.

    Every story in this book has a nugget of wisdom, or something to chew on. They are not all funny, and some of them have some very graphic descriptions...but hey, that's life.

    Bravo Mr. Sedaris!

    4 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted October 12, 2010

    DONT JUDGE THIS BOOK BY IT'S COVER

    A VERY CUTESY COVER THAT ATTRACTS RIGHT AWAY. HUMAN ATTRIBUTES ARE GIVEN TO THE ANIMALS BUT EVEN THOUGH YOU WILL GET THE POINT BEING MADE IN THESE STORIES THEY RANGE FROM A COUPLE WELL DONE TALES TO THE REST THAT RANGE FROM DISGUSTING TO ANIMAL MUTILATION. EVEN THE ART WORK IS GRAPHIC AND UNAPPEALING. OVERPRICED AND A SAD EFORT. NOT THIS YEARS STOCKING STUFFER UNLESS YOU HAVE A LOT OF ENEMIES

    3 out of 6 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted November 24, 2010

    more from this reviewer

    An interesting perspective of our life from the eyes of animals!

    If animals were more like us, if mice kept pets and toads could swear, if dogs had wives and chipmunks dated, sheep sat still and meditated, then in the forest, field, and dairy you might find this bestiary, read by storks, by rates and kitties.

    "I found the book to be most droll," might quip the bear, the owl, and the mole. Others, though, would be more coarse. "Bull,"could say the pig and horse. As to the scribe, they'd quote the hen: "Trust me, he's no La Fontaine."

    In the newest book, Squirrel Seek Chipmunk, by David Sedaris, you are taken into our everyday lives as seen by certain animal groups. While the story is interesting to see from another perspective, the reader needs to be forewarned that the book is rather graphic despite its childlike cover. Do not make the mistake of thinking this is a child's book. Due to the explict nature of the storyline, I would rate this book a 2 out of 5 stars.

    Some of the story interactions besides a squirrel on a blind date with a chipmunk, are a mouse and snake trying to locate a missing relative, the migrating warblers who talk about immigration and people coming to nest in their neck of the woods, as well as many others.

    I received this book compliments of Hachette Book Groups for my honest review and think that this book is for a very select audience of readers. This book is available in hardcover, eBook, Audio, CD and large print formats.

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Posted May 22, 2012

    A collection of gems

    This is a collection of gems. Stories involving animals that, although not always laugh-out-loud funny, still surprise in many pleasant ways.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted May 19, 2012

    Wow

    Love it

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 2, 2012

    Excellent

    Unlike the majority of the reviews here, I thought this book was devine. A little morbid at times, but that only made it tastier. Mr. Sedaris has a fan in me whether he writes about happy humans or creepy animals! Highly recommend!!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted March 13, 2012

    Jamal

    Squirrel?

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  • Posted February 18, 2012

    NOT FOR THE FEINT-OF-HEART!

    Ambivalence is the term that comes to mind after reading this book! There were significantly more *ugh* moments than I expected and definitely more bust-a-gut belly laughs as well! My rating flip-flopped - more than once. The fact that I read it in one sitting (and startled the cat with hoots of laughter) eventually moved it from three-star "liked it" to a four-star "really liked it". Perhaps what made me *squirm* was the "too close for comfort" look at human foibles 'n' frailties the cats, rats, snakes storks and potbellied pigs so aptly characterized! In my case, Robert Burns was dead on (and it made me damned uncomfortable!) . . "O would some power the giftie gie us to see ourselves as others see us". Rife with edgy satire, Sedaris' compendium of beasts drew me in, in spite of myself.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 19, 2011

    Dark

    I am a huge David Sedaris fan and love his sense of humor. This book is much darker than I expected. The stories are more like metaphors of the hypocrosy in human behavior - a window I don't often like looking into. I love the story, Hello Kitty, but will probably not be interested in re-reading the rest of the book.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted November 1, 2011

    adorable

    I love animal books and david Sedaris!

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  • Anonymous

    Posted September 30, 2011

    Eh:p

    The book is not the best. The thing makes it worse is all the cursing and it is inapropiate. Wouldnt recomend to anyone. Dont wate ur time with it.

    0 out of 1 people found this review helpful.

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  • Anonymous

    Posted August 27, 2011

    Hilarious

    Sedaris is an amazing story teller. He's able to portray the animals in such a human way without them losing their animalistic characteristics. Truly talented.

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  • Posted August 27, 2011

    The Animal Kingdom

    Quick question: if a squirrel were to go on a date with a chipmunk, what would they find in common to talk about? Answer: their hatred of dogs! This cute and funny book Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris is full of quirky observations that can only come from just asking what if?

    In the book you will learn about the dynamics of the animal kingdom from the healthy and unhealthy rat to a cat that goes into rehab. Learning about our furry friends is told by what has endeared us to the offbeat Sedaris style.

    The short stories can also serve as a training ground of comprehending the ways of the world. For instance in the tale of "The Parenting Stork" the universal questions of where babies come from is solved.

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